Truepirate

CassyK/Truepirate

I just had a lot to do with work. Academic team was doing a fundraiser I was in charge of, I had a princess appearance at the elementary fundraiser, plus the teacher Halloween dress up and then a party tonight. It’s just been a lot.

CassyK/Truepirate

“I want to stay with you, so much, but I’m not a pirate. I could never do what you do, I know the struggles of being a merchant too well. I have my crew to look after. If I don’t go back for them then father will fire them and they will be without a job, without income. I can’t abandon them, you know as well as anyone the loyalty of a captain to their crew.” She said, taking his hand and putting his arm around her, his hand at her waist, as she leaned her head on his chest, one arm wrapped around him. “I just want to be with you. Stay with me after noon meal for a little while, please.” She wanted to offer to take Rhea’s place next time she sailed or his place, but thought better of it. He hadn’t seemed to like her trying to bargain last time. “Or send whoever brings food away when they come.” She leaned up and kissed him softly. “I like you with a beard.”

If only she could figure out a way to stay with him and take care of her crew. That would make her happy, but every scenario she thought of left her with one or the other.

CassyK/Truepirate

“So you aren’t rejecting me?” Elissa asked softly. “I’ve lived most of my life alone, I’m used to being alone. I’ll be fine when we part ways.” She looked over at him. “I want to be with you, because I like you. I just thought staying longer would help. I’m sorry if I said something wrong.” She placed her hand on his. “Joseph, no one wants to marry me. I’m too wild for them, even Blayne doesn’t want to marry me, he just wants the money. I’ll be out of his life quickly. I’ll be out of everyone’s life when I go back to bedlam. I won’t live long when I’m back there.” She seemed to know her fate with her life married to Blayne. “My only hope is running away once I’ve helped you. Life hasn’t exactly been kind after mother died and you left. I’ve tried my best but...well my life has always been ruled by others. Here on the ship I finally had some freedom I didn’t have at home. I do get freedom on my ship but it doesn’t feel the same as here.” She hoped he’d understood that she cared about him. She felt herself around him, she felt free. “I just want to be with you for the little time we have left. Please.”

CassyK/Truepirate

Sorry for the short reply. This week has taken a toll on me mentally. It’s been so busy.

CassyK/Truepirate

Elissa’s face fell at his words. She pulled away from him, drawing her knees to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees. “Oh, I just thought...you wanted to...we could...” Tears welled up again. “I’m an idiot.” Didn’t he understand how she felt about him? What she wanted? Didn’t he want to be with her? Of course he wouldn’t want to be with her. How stupid could she be to have believed that was the case? She wasn’t Rhea or any of the girls he’d meet in the town. She’d made a fool of herself. She didn’t understand his thoughts, didn’t follow what he was saying. “I’m sorry. I should have known...” Her chin trembled as a few tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.” Elissa didn’t know what to do now. “May I know why?” Perhaps that would bring her some closure, but she doubted it. She felt cast aside now by the one friend she thought she had left. Elissa didn’t realize Joseph’s desire to keep her help with the Gallant out of it. Now she began to wonder if he would change his mind and leave her in France. Had she just ruined everything?

CassyK/Truepirate

Was he teasing her? Was this his way of trying to cheer her up or did he not understand what she was hinting at? She looked up at him as she tried to figure things out before giving him her mischievous grin. “It’s not like you’ve tried very hard to find it.” She told him, taking his hand and placing it on her knee. “I did give you permission to search for it, you just haven’t. The offer still stands. You never taught me how you dance either.” As if she knew what he was thinking she spoke again. “You’re the captain, you can do whatever you want and shirk whatever duties you have for a little...fun. Of course if you keep me until we get your ship back you’ll have all the time you want to search for the dagger.” Elissa gently kissed his cheek, before whispering in his ear, “I won’t lead you on just to tell you no.”

She figured that someone would be bringing food soon so she stopped with the single kiss. “Think on what I’ve said over our noon meal, then you can give me an answer on if you are staying or going back to work. Staying would be more fun and no one would be bringing food like this morning. This morning was nice, I wish it hadn’t been interrupted. I was quite enjoying it.” She twirled a curl around her finger. “Or you can wait until tonight, just because we dock in France tonight doesn’t mean we have to leave the ship immediately.”

CassyK/Truepirate

She shook her head when he offered the bottle. “I had enough to drink last night,” she said, softly. “I don’t want to leave you. I want to help get your ship back, I want revenge on father too.” She finally looked up at him. “I don’t want to leave you...ever. You were my only constant. You were the only one who ever cared about me that wasn’t my mother. I know I have my crew now, but sometimes I still feel lonely around them. I don’t feel that way with you. I just...I want time with you, I want memories, I want something to think back on once we do part ways. It’s inevitable that we will leave each other. I can’t become a pirate and I wouldn’t expect you to give up your way of life for me. You don’t really know me anymore.” She bit her lip. “I don’t really know you either, but I know you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose and I know I’m willing to trust you.” She leaned her head on his shoulder and took his hand.

Elissa didn’t know what else to say. Thoughts swarmed in her mind, none of which she was willing to say aloud. She knew she could never be part of his new life. She was his past not his future. It was a hard truth for her to accept.

CassyK/Truepirate

Elissa remained standing at the door, her back to him. She did remove her hand from the handle and let it fall to her side. Trust me, he must have known she’d have no choice but to trust him if he said those words. “Sometimes talking is just a formality, a kindness before the harsh reality.” She said softly, leaning her head against the door. She was mentally exhausted, unable to figure out the game Joseph was playing anymore. She had hoped that he would have gone after her when she went for the door, instead he’d only commanded her to stop. Could he not tell she was interested in him? Was he not interested in her?

Perhaps it would be better when he was out of her life, but the thought pained her. She didn’t want him gone, she’d waited too long to have him back in her life. She’d searched for him for years. Elissa slowly turned and sank to the floor, her back against the door. “Why can’t you let me go?” She asked, her voice soft. She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. “You’ll have to let me go sometime, after you get your ship back...sometime.” She kept her gaze on the floor, knowing If she looked up at him she would start crying and not be able to stop. If Rhea did agree to let her help get the ship back, she’d get a few more days with him, but eventually they would part ways.

CassyK/Truepirate

It’s fine. She’s actually listening to him.

CassyK/Truepirate

Elissa stopped, her hand in the door handle, when he spoke. For a moment it seemed like she was going to walk out and not listen to him. “Please Joseph, let me go.” Her voice shook as she tried to hold back the tears. If she ran, would he chase after her? She entertained the idea for a moment before deciding she didn’t have the strength left to fight back. Let fate take her where it wanted because as of late it was taking her down the worst path possible. She wanted to leave, to have a moment to cry in private. “Please.” Why was he doing this? Couldn’t he tell that she was upset? Didn’t he realize that this would be hard on her, leaving her best friend even if he didn’t remember her?