Elissa watched him go before sitting down to read the book. It didn’t take long for her eyes to start bothering her. She knew not to read without her glasses, but was so bored and lonely she was desperate for something to do to pass the hours until Joseph came back. She closed the book and moved to the windows, looking out at the sea. The feeling of being a prisoner finally setting in as she gazed out the window. She couldn’t go where she liked on the ship, couldn’t help out with sailing, and would be abandoned the moment they reached France. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

Elissa thought Joseph believed her now about them being friends, but that hadn’t really changed anything. Her mind began to wander back to the earlier events before breakfast, a flush coming to her cheeks. That moment had been nice, she just wished it had lasted longer. With a sigh she moved back to the couch to try reading some more. The story was interesting, at least the little part she had read. Slowly, however, her eyes got blurry again and she dozed off, the book resting open on her chest.

The Captain returned to his quarters some time around noon to find Elissa fast asleep on the couch, well this would be the second time he’d seemed to happen upon her resting, he was careful to not disturb her and he was somewhat grateful for the silence to himself for a short while. Joseph removed his hat and slumped in the chair by the desk, he rubbed his forehead with his fingers for a few moments before examining the back of his right hand whilst flexing it; there was a raw redness and broken skin across his knuckles. He didn’t quite like having to lay down the law as it were, he was sure these particular sailors would be dropping from the crew in France, but he wasn’t one to let sideways comments slide, didn’t look good. It seemed like one of the cabin boys had been in to tidy away everything from breakfast, at least, and he’d instructed another to bring food and drink shortly.

There was a little brandy left, Joseph stretched across the desk to retrieve the bottle and sat back in the chair and took a drink. Elissa seemed to have been reading the book, he wondered if she had enjoyed it so far. He considered their interactions earlier that morning also, and wondered too if she had enjoyed it… she seemed to.

A little while after Joseph returned Elissa began to stir. Without opening her eyes, she stretched and yawned before adjusting to doze back off. Her movement caused the book to fall to the floor with a thud. Startled awake, Elissa sat up. She looked around in a slight panic before her gaze fell on Joseph. Her face flushed with embarrassment. “Sorry.” She muttered, bending to pick the book up. “How long have you been back?” She wondered how long she’d been asleep, but knew that he wouldn’t know that answer. Elissa walked over to the desk and sat the book down. “It was good, what little I read. Without my glasses the words got blurry and I got a headache. I had to stop.” She didn’t know why she was explaining it to him, but she felt like she should.

Elissa frowned when she noticed his hand. She was certain it hadn’t been like that earlier. “Are you alright? What happened?” Her voice and furrowed brows showed her concern for the minor injury. “Were we attacked? Did I sleep through something like that?” She questioned just how tired she had been. Attacks were common for merchant ships, dissent among the crew was not, so her mind immediately went to the concern that they had been attacked. A knot formed in her stomach as she worried that it was her own crew doing the attacking in an attempt to save her.

The Morgue had a moderate sway on the waves, not so much as to send items hurtling from their positions although anything spherical would be rolling gently from one side to the other. The lanterns swung with the creaking ship, and the gust and waves would be heard outside the windows. Joseph had been musing to himself regarding Elissa and how they seemed to know one another, he’d been sat back in the chair the bottle in his right hand and the ring on the necklace in the left, so deep in thought I’m fact he didn’t notice Elissa stir, at least not initially. The thud from the book also startled Joseph from his thoughts, and he sighed a deep, hasty breath as he tucked the ring away before Elissa fixed her gaze upon him - she looked a little flushed, flustered perhaps she had so rudely awakened herself and also that she had been unaware he had returned, he certainly did not intend for her to feel embarrassed, “not long” he cleared his throat, “perhaps a quarter hour”, he observed her as she approached the desk, “you can get another pair of glasses, in France, maybe” he suggested, he was keen to hear the story from Elissa, truth be told.

Joseph let out a throaty noise and a breath through his nose in an expression of surprise as Elissa drew attention to his hand, she posed her questions and the Captain grinned and shook his head gently, “no just… business, don’t worry” he reassured her, relaxing back into the chair. He paused for a moment before he began again, “I spoke to Rhea, she’ll hear what you have to say. We’re likely to dock in France later tonight”, he hoped these revelations would be pleasing to her.

She shook her head, “I can do without them until I get home. I just need them for reading and well, the book will be with you and I’ll be on my way back to England. There’s no point in buying a new pair, besides I’ll need what money I get from my engagement ring to get passage back home.” Elissa shook her head. She was glad to hear that they hadn’t been attacked, that meant her men were safe. Safe from Joseph at least. She looked to him with an upset expression when he said they’d be in France by that night. She had hoped to spend more time with him. “So soon?” She blinked back tears, she wasn’t ready for him to be out of her life so quickly. “I...I guess I should go get my dress, so I can change once we arrive. I won’t be able to buy proper passage home looking like this.”

Elissa felt like her heart was being torn from her chest. She knew the day would come that they’d part once more, but she had hoped that it would have taken a little longer to get to France. She gave a small sigh and started for the door to go and collect her things. It was fine that Rhea would hear her out but why bother with them being so close to France? She felt their minds couldn’t be changed now and that Rhea listening to what she had to say was just a kind gesture on Joseph’s part, but it would mean nothing, they’d still leave her there.

Joseph could sense that Elissa believed talking with Rhea didn’t bode well, which certainly wasn’t the case, he called after her sternly as she made for the door “You’re my captive, remember? You’re not going anywhere” he maintained a serious expression as he rubbed his dark stubbled chin which was thicker yet again from the previous day. Would she obey him? He wondered with some amusement.

Elissa stopped, her hand in the door handle, when he spoke. For a moment it seemed like she was going to walk out and not listen to him. “Please Joseph, let me go.” Her voice shook as she tried to hold back the tears. If she ran, would he chase after her? She entertained the idea for a moment before deciding she didn’t have the strength left to fight back. Let fate take her where it wanted because as of late it was taking her down the worst path possible. She wanted to leave, to have a moment to cry in private. “Please.” Why was he doing this? Couldn’t he tell that she was upset? Didn’t he realize that this would be hard on her, leaving her best friend even if he didn’t remember her?

What had initially been a bit of a joke on Joseph’s part seemed to take a bit of a turn as Elissa was visibly upset, although he did remind himself of the surgeon’s instructions not to allow her to be amidst the darkness, which he’d rather take seriously lest she succumbed to more nightmarish thoughts.

“I can’t let you go” he stated, “and in any case, I don’t think you’ll have to sell anything in France, if Rhea wants to talk, that’s a good thing… trust me”, if she seemed to trust him in other aspects, she should take him at his word. Joseph did wonder what kind of person he’d been to garner such trust, he now had no doubt their history went deep but, he did have doubts as to whether he was the same person she’d known a long time ago. She seemed interested in him too, moreso than any sense of friendship or partnership, he was cautious as to what that meant to her, the emotional mess that sometimes exposed itself between Rhea and himself was more than enough trouble already.

Elissa remained standing at the door, her back to him. She did remove her hand from the handle and let it fall to her side. Trust me, he must have known she’d have no choice but to trust him if he said those words. “Sometimes talking is just a formality, a kindness before the harsh reality.” She said softly, leaning her head against the door. She was mentally exhausted, unable to figure out the game Joseph was playing anymore. She had hoped that he would have gone after her when she went for the door, instead he’d only commanded her to stop. Could he not tell she was interested in him? Was he not interested in her?

Perhaps it would be better when he was out of her life, but the thought pained her. She didn’t want him gone, she’d waited too long to have him back in her life. She’d searched for him for years. Elissa slowly turned and sank to the floor, her back against the door. “Why can’t you let me go?” She asked, her voice soft. She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. “You’ll have to let me go sometime, after you get your ship back...sometime.” She kept her gaze on the floor, knowing If she looked up at him she would start crying and not be able to stop. If Rhea did agree to let her help get the ship back, she’d get a few more days with him, but eventually they would part ways.

Rhea well…Rhea didn’t pay anyone in kindnesses that weren’t due, and certainly did not trade in pointless pleasantries, of course Elissa seemed to believe otherwise, she had little reason not to.

Joseph listened as Elissa went on to elaborate how she felt he planned to discard her when he was once again in possession of the Gallant, truthfully, he hadn’t considered that far ahead, as it would take some weeks if not more, of planning and success (or survival) in any endeavour was not guaranteed. Joseph wasn’t sure where her father had berthed the ship, she seemed to have disappeared without a trace.. much like Elissa. Regardless, he didn’t think this was a fair assumption for her to make, and considering her apparent affection for him, she seemed to have a particularly low opinion how he may choose his future actions - although, he couldn’t blame her, he was a pirate after all.

He pulled a face of some sympathy as Elissa slid to the floor, she seemed particularly worn out, he sighed and arose from the chair, brushing a hand through his hair, rubbing his face and once again under his chin before he sat down beside her with his back also against the door. He offered her the bottle, which had only a very small amount of brandy swishing around the bottom, he sniffed, “so, you want me to let you go now then, in France?” he questioned, he wasn’t quite sure if she’d had a change of heart about the agreement between them, particularly if she felt he was keeping her only for her usefulness in the short term.

She shook her head when he offered the bottle. “I had enough to drink last night,” she said, softly. “I don’t want to leave you. I want to help get your ship back, I want revenge on father too.” She finally looked up at him. “I don’t want to leave you...ever. You were my only constant. You were the only one who ever cared about me that wasn’t my mother. I know I have my crew now, but sometimes I still feel lonely around them. I don’t feel that way with you. I just...I want time with you, I want memories, I want something to think back on once we do part ways. It’s inevitable that we will leave each other. I can’t become a pirate and I wouldn’t expect you to give up your way of life for me. You don’t really know me anymore.” She bit her lip. “I don’t really know you either, but I know you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose and I know I’m willing to trust you.” She leaned her head on his shoulder and took his hand.

Elissa didn’t know what else to say. Thoughts swarmed in her mind, none of which she was willing to say aloud. She knew she could never be part of his new life. She was his past not his future. It was a hard truth for her to accept.

Joseph examined Elissa’s eyes deeply as she spoke, but he turned away biting his lip thoughtfully before releasing them to a pout as he tossed the bottle out in front of him, it rolled with the ship and caught itself somewhere amongst the furniture. He sighed deeply, memories? What exactly did she mean? Well, his mind drifted of course.. but Rhea wouldn’t be best pleased if he shirked his duties - he’d have to take over from her soon as she’d been sailing the ship all morning. He wasn’t sure either if Elissa was being intentionally tempting, the way in which she said things was particularly polite which he really didn’t wish to misinterpret, the friendly girls he met at the inns were much more...forthcoming.

In any case, now wasn’t really the time nor the place for some things. He turned his head as he relaxed against the door to meet his gaze with Elissa’s, he had a little more intensity in his eyes and he moistened his lips as though he was about to speak, but grinned instead displaying his dimples and unruly canine, “well, I don’t know if I can trust you… you are still stashing that dagger, after all” he didn’t truly believe Elissa intended to use it but, he kind of liked the idea.

Was he teasing her? Was this his way of trying to cheer her up or did he not understand what she was hinting at? She looked up at him as she tried to figure things out before giving him her mischievous grin. “It’s not like you’ve tried very hard to find it.” She told him, taking his hand and placing it on her knee. “I did give you permission to search for it, you just haven’t. The offer still stands. You never taught me how you dance either.” As if she knew what he was thinking she spoke again. “You’re the captain, you can do whatever you want and shirk whatever duties you have for a little...fun. Of course if you keep me until we get your ship back you’ll have all the time you want to search for the dagger.” Elissa gently kissed his cheek, before whispering in his ear, “I won’t lead you on just to tell you no.”

She figured that someone would be bringing food soon so she stopped with the single kiss. “Think on what I’ve said over our noon meal, then you can give me an answer on if you are staying or going back to work. Staying would be more fun and no one would be bringing food like this morning. This morning was nice, I wish it hadn’t been interrupted. I was quite enjoying it.” She twirled a curl around her finger. “Or you can wait until tonight, just because we dock in France tonight doesn’t mean we have to leave the ship immediately.”

Elissa seemed to cheer up when Joseph teased her, it seemed obvious too that she had similar thoughts on her mind, but something bothered him in the way in which she brought their business with the Gallant into it, this right here had no say or sway in it, Joseph didn’t use intimacy to bargain or be bargained with, to him it was and should be entirely separate - otherwise people got hurt.

When she spoke the words to him, placing a soft kiss on his cheek and whispering in his ear he really did have to fight against every primal fibre of his being, he squeezed the flesh of her thigh lightly, she was right though, they’d likely be interrupted, now was not the time. Tonight was no use, they’d be busy shifting the loot under the cover of darkness, it was irresponsible to keep stolen goods aboard any longer than absolutely necessary. He really did have to take over from Rhea this afternoon, she worked hard.

He peered at her from under his brow with his deep green eyes, she’d made it incredibly clear what she wanted from him, although he did not wish for it to be entangled with getting his ship back, “Elissa..” he began, “I… won’t, I can’t keep you for this, just this”, in as much as he had no desire for commitment, he always stipulated that was the case, and his interactions were always a mutual exchange, so to speak.

Elissa’s face fell at his words. She pulled away from him, drawing her knees to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees. “Oh, I just thought...you wanted to...we could...” Tears welled up again. “I’m an idiot.” Didn’t he understand how she felt about him? What she wanted? Didn’t he want to be with her? Of course he wouldn’t want to be with her. How stupid could she be to have believed that was the case? She wasn’t Rhea or any of the girls he’d meet in the town. She’d made a fool of herself. She didn’t understand his thoughts, didn’t follow what he was saying. “I’m sorry. I should have known...” Her chin trembled as a few tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.” Elissa didn’t know what to do now. “May I know why?” Perhaps that would bring her some closure, but she doubted it. She felt cast aside now by the one friend she thought she had left. Elissa didn’t realize Joseph’s desire to keep her help with the Gallant out of it. Now she began to wonder if he would change his mind and leave her in France. Had she just ruined everything?

Joseph was surprised when Elissa withdrew herself away from him, he wasn’t sure what he’d said or done to upset her, and he really didn’t want to make it worse, he found her temperament hard to gauge and predict. He gathered though, she seemed to interpret his words as some kind of rejection, perhaps that made her feel entirely hopeless? “I just mean you don’t have to do any of this.. to stay, to work with us, to work with me” he elaborated, “I know Rhea will come around…”, he did consider if the whole thing between them was a bad idea, it could certainly complicate matters, especially if she expected anything more from him, despite her claims she understood his way of life. The Captain let out a deep sigh, he let his head fall back against the door, exposing his neck, he didn’t look at Elissa but ahead to nowhere in particular, “I think you deserve someone who can be with you, Elissa” he expressed after a short pause.

“So you aren’t rejecting me?” Elissa asked softly. “I’ve lived most of my life alone, I’m used to being alone. I’ll be fine when we part ways.” She looked over at him. “I want to be with you, because I like you. I just thought staying longer would help. I’m sorry if I said something wrong.” She placed her hand on his. “Joseph, no one wants to marry me. I’m too wild for them, even Blayne doesn’t want to marry me, he just wants the money. I’ll be out of his life quickly. I’ll be out of everyone’s life when I go back to bedlam. I won’t live long when I’m back there.” She seemed to know her fate with her life married to Blayne. “My only hope is running away once I’ve helped you. Life hasn’t exactly been kind after mother died and you left. I’ve tried my best but...well my life has always been ruled by others. Here on the ship I finally had some freedom I didn’t have at home. I do get freedom on my ship but it doesn’t feel the same as here.” She hoped he’d understood that she cared about him. She felt herself around him, she felt free. “I just want to be with you for the little time we have left. Please.”

He knew what it was to be alone, perhaps not in the same sense as Elissa, but without his history, his identity, he had nothing and no-one to return to. He had to survive, and pirates did not substitute parents or a family particularly well, if at all. He was a strong young lad with a pair of sea legs, he was useful, and the men who pulled him up did seem to take some kind of pity on him - whatever had happened to him, however, it didn’t fend off years of hard graft and pulling weight on numerous ships and within a couple of crews, beatings and a little bullying until he filled out enough to hit back hard and earn some respect, a lot of respect.

Joseph turned his head to meet with her gaze, still leaning back against the door, he grasped her hand in his larger palm, “you don’t have to keep running, you know that? But, if you want to, that’s alright..” he began, he let out a breath as he expressed a wide grin, “Elissa I think you know by now you don’t have to ask me for anything”, he felt she was particularly good at reeling him in when she wanted to.

“I want to stay with you, so much, but I’m not a pirate. I could never do what you do, I know the struggles of being a merchant too well. I have my crew to look after. If I don’t go back for them then father will fire them and they will be without a job, without income. I can’t abandon them, you know as well as anyone the loyalty of a captain to their crew.” She said, taking his hand and putting his arm around her, his hand at her waist, as she leaned her head on his chest, one arm wrapped around him. “I just want to be with you. Stay with me after noon meal for a little while, please.” She wanted to offer to take Rhea’s place next time she sailed or his place, but thought better of it. He hadn’t seemed to like her trying to bargain last time. “Or send whoever brings food away when they come.” She leaned up and kissed him softly. “I like you with a beard.”

If only she could figure out a way to stay with him and take care of her crew. That would make her happy, but every scenario she thought of left her with one or the other.

Joseph understood Elissa’s desire, her duty to return to her crew but it did strike him that she seemed to be in two minds about what she truly wanted, after all, she’d found what she’d been seeking for all these years, or so she had told him, and yet was willing to let that slip - perhaps some realities surrounding it had finally set in. It was reasonable, he wasn’t quite what she’d been expecting, “hmh” he made the sound and nodded in acknowledgment. She pulled his arm around her and brought herself in close, her head on his chest, she was sure to hear his heart beat steadily.

Or send whoever brings food away when they come, that was an idea too, she really was keen to spend this time with him. Joseph received the kiss from Elissa, he grinned at her remark and rubbed the dark stubble, “I look too young without it” he laughed, he then proceeded to play with Elissa’s curled strands that had fallen loose from her braid. “How did we become quite good friends, before, I mean?” he asked softly, he felt ready to hear more about it.