"....and that is why Swedish meatballs will be taken off of the schools menu. We apologize for any inconvenience." droned the lunch lady.
Her voice was a perfect representation of how the entire student body of Sea Salt Bay high felt at the time, which was both agony and disinterest. The Monday morning assembly was an endless cavalcade of mindless droning of unimportant issues that concerned no-one at all. This was especially true in a school such as this one, where gossip was everyones favourite hobby. A hobby which was practiced religiously. The assembly commenced as soon as the first bell rang so not everyone had the chance to gather into their cliques for gossip just yet. This contributed greatly to the extra tension in the air. Such tension was noticed by the various teachers that lined the outside of the assembly hall. More than one reprimand was shouted as the occasional student threw a piece of paper here and there. Not to mention the rising and falling of murmurs that drowned out the speaker at times. But besides that, it was a typical morning assembly. Well, almost typical anyway. What seemed like an eternity later, the lunch lady ceased her droning and waddled off of the stage.
"Thank you miss Levenstein. I know this measure is drastic but I'm sure such drastic action will cut down on food related fights in the foreseeable future." said Principal Stern as he reached the podium.
"I've got some Swedish meat balls for her." whispered Switch to Divo as he grabbed his crotch.
"So you like em old and saggy huh. What happened? Couldn't get it up for Cynthia? She wasn't old and saggy enough for ya?" Divo whispered tauntingly.
"She was practically trying to rip it away with her mouth it was that hard! And what did church girl do!? Pray to Jesus that you had some more hidden away somewhere!? Because that's one prayer that ain't gonna be answered." Switch chided in return.
"Hey! Fuck you dude! At least I don't have the entire HIV alphab..." said Divo before he was interrupted.
"Quiet over there! Or it's detention for a week!" shouted one of the teachers.
"Shit!" Divo whispered to himself.
Principal Stern cleared his throat loudly before he continued to speak. "As I was saying, please don't forget to give your parents this weeks school newsletter. It is a very important issue that I'm sure they would be greatly interested in reading."
A loud murmur arose briefly before the principal spoke again.
"And now, please put your hands together for sheriff Waxley. He's come to visit our fine school this morning to deliver a rather important message. Pay attention now, you may just learn a thing or two about community spirit and local pride." announced Principle Stern.
The small town sheriff then walked up on stage and approached the podium. He then shook the principals hand with vigour. Dressed in his standard issue uniform, Sheriff Waxley exuded an aura of true authority over the students gathered there that morning. None of them dared interrupt this speaker.
"Good mornin students of Salt Bay High! Wonderful morning we havin this fine day. I'm sorry to say though, that the news I bring ain't so wonderful. For you see, some rather troubled youngsters have done something very bad on Main Street on Saturday. But let me tell you children that that ain't the worst of it." said sheriff Waxley ominously.
Both Rolo and Switch blanched noticeably.