Current
It should also be noted that The Hunger Games was written in first person present. Wild success story there.
4 yrs ago
Still, seeing the active tense in the third person makes me wonder why it wouldn't work for first person.
4 yrs ago
Correction: that is third person present.
4 yrs ago
First person present works all the time. It's industry standard for screenplays. Why it doesn't translate over into more frequent novel usage would make for an interesting case study.
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Bio
Feel free to wander across this bio. It will be an assortment of quotes expressing spiritual, and other philosophical sentiments starting from Star Wars, then branching into other fictional mediums, and perhaps passages from our own world.
Fragments of the Force
"For now we see through a glass, darkly." 1 Corinthians 13:12
The Force
The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.
Without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They continually speak to us, telling us the will of the Force. When you learn to quiet your mind, you'll hear them speaking to you.
All that surround us is the foundation of life, the birthplace of what your science calls midi-chlorians, the foundation of what connects the Living Force and the Cosmic Force.
It is said that certain creatures are born with a higher awareness of the Force than humans. Their brains are different; they have more midi-chlorians in their cells.
The Force is not a power you have. It's not about lifting rocks. It's the energy between all things, a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together.
All that surrounds us is the foundation of life, the birthplace of what your science calls midi-chlorians, the foundation of what connects the Living Force and the Cosmic Force. When a living thing dies, all is renewed. Life passes away from the Living Force into the Cosmic Force and becomes one with it. One powers the other. One is renewed by the other.
Darkness rises, and light to meet it.
Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.
It is like a cloud, a mist that drifts from living creature to creature, set in motion by currents and eddies. It is the eye of the storm, the passions of all living things turned into energy, into a chorus. It is the rising swell at the end of life, the promise of new territories and new blood, the call of new mysteries in the dark.
I hate the Force, I hate that it seems to have a will, that it would control us to achieve some measure of balance when countless lives are lost.
The Force fights with me!
There is no truth in the Force.
Answers?
Perhaps you were expecting some surprise, for me to reveal a secret that had eluded you, something that would change your perspective of events, shatter you to your core. There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you.
Why did you cut me off from the Force?
Look within for the answer. We are each solely accountable for everything in our lives. Nothing ever happens to us unless we allow it.
The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho is done. This is one of those spiritual style books, sort of like what Mitch Albom writes. It's more than a little too "new-agey" for my tastes, but I enjoyed the practical and straightforwardness of the text. And, as is often the case with writers like Paulo who have a lot of life experience, there are passages within that indicate an intimate understanding, and observant nature regarding everyday people. I quite liked this passage in particular:
The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the good fight.
Still on Anna Karenina. Adding The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell.
The elitist class of cinema-goers would probably say the 70s. You had The Godfather I and II, Apocalypse Now, Alien, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, The Deer Hunter, Taxi Driver, The Exorcist, Chinatown, Star Wars: A New Hope, and Jaws. Plenty more after that too.
I might agree with that, but my heart is with the 80s and 90s. Goonies, Karate Kid, The Lost Boys, Scream, Die Hard, Jurassic Park, Grosse Point Blank, The Matrix. Yeah, 80s and 90s are a wild and good time for film.
Voting for Starry Eyed. "Galactic eyes" might not be the most original thing ever, but what sold me was the coloration above the face. Very cosmic and trippy, and I really enjoyed your shading.
First, thank you for taking the time to put this all together @Calle.
Second: my vote is going to By Which The Stars Are Hung. I will edit in feedback for all entries later.
EDIT: Feedback has arrived.
Pros:
- A sense of mystery and the lurking of a deeper world mythos embedded inside the story.
- Convincing, and legitimate struggle rooted in a relatable humanity.
- Fair to decent grasp of the character motivations.
Cons:
- Stilted dialogue: sometimes I found Duncan and Jill's mannerisms a tad wooden, and the same between Duncan and his brother. The conversation about proposing, particularly the part where Reginald is teasing Duncan about not being as good of a catch as himself comes off too wordy and awkward.
- Lack of expansion on Lord Knight/Lady Knight as a concept. When is this? Where is this? I feel we are missing a key component regarding staying on the planet as opposed to venturing beyond to the stars that would elucidate on our two major characters. Without this piece, the story feels incomplete and shallower where the depth of their emotional divide could have been stronger.
- Celsaea sounds like a major part of their culture, but only appears at the end. This is jarring. What was an intimate observation of a relationship reaching its end due to what feels like an irreparable gap between Duncan and Jill is abruptly suffused with the air of a divine hand in a manner that makes its function with the story somewhat dubious in its necessity.
Pros:
- A cute, simple tale
- Economy of language is admirable in certain places. There's an element of straightforward honesty in a person just describing what they did, where they are going, and what they saw.
Cons:
- Not much meat to the story. We have a beginning, a middle, and an end. There's not much else here other than wanting to see the Northern Lights, going to see the Northern Lights, and then seeing the Northern Lights. It is in this we could have used more descriptions of every last detail that goes into preparing for such a journey. We know little of the dogs' personalities, or our narrator. I think there's potential here. An exploration of the magical in the natural. The bond between man and his dogs, and his journey on the way. As it stands, the narrative merely exists, but does not quite draw the breath of life.
Pros:
- Questions. Lots of questions. Who is our main character? All-Father? Odin?! I'm meditating on who our narrator was as I am writing this down. From the descriptions we have a Floridian father, and his daughter was an astronaut, and I'm assuming he's having a heart attack and experiencing wild visions as he ventures off for his own journey just like his daughter, but that All-Father line intrigues me. Is it just saying he is going to the All-Father, or is it referring to him as All-Father?
- The intimate descriptions of each thought, physical appearance, and motion were skillfully penned. The pacing of these actions built on what came before, slowly giving birth to that river, that tree of mysterious existence tying into all things. I am biased toward passages that make me think long and hard about the nature of all things, so thank you for that.
- Your dialogue was crisp, clean, and emotionally authentic. I did not feel as though those lines were wasted, but lended themselves as bridges to the next thought, and the next action.
Cons:
- Right now it is difficult for me to think on anything I would call a negative. Ellipses can be a mild pet peeve, but those were used in a justified manner. I will say that I don't think you needed them for "toward her final moments." The weight of the concept was enough without the emotional beat to hammer it home. But, that's just my opinion.
Thank you for the reading, everyone. I hope you all continue to write and strive to be greater every day.
Anna Karenina is a masterpiece! Do you know which translation you're reading?
The Garnett version. I've browsed through the P&V and compared the two, and found myself preferring the older form English, as I usually do. Eventually, War and Peace will be next, and for that I have four different translations: Garnett, Maude, Briggs, and P&V.
I've been trying to read more non-fiction. It took me like four years but I finally finished Marx's Capital about a week ago. I'm thinking about reading Orwell's Homage to Catalonia next. I'm really not a big fan of Orwell (or at least, not a fan of Animal Farm), but I'm super interested in the Spanish Civil War.
If you haven't already, you should check out Beevor's The Battle for Spain.
[hr]
[center][color=azure][i]Feel free to wander across this bio. It will be an assortment of quotes expressing spiritual, and other philosophical sentiments starting from Star Wars, then branching into other fictional mediums, and perhaps passages from our own world. [/i][/color][/center]
[hr]
[center][color=skyblue][b][i]Fragments of the Force[/i][/b][/color]
[color=slategray][i]"For now we see through a glass, darkly."
1 Corinthians 13:12[/i][/color] [/center]
[hr]
[center][color=skyblue][b][i]The Force[/i][/b][/color][/center]
[color=lightblue][i]The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.[/i][/color]
[center][color=39b54a][i]Without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They continually speak to us, telling us the will of the Force. When you learn to quiet your mind, you'll hear them speaking to you.[/i][/color][/center]
[right][color=darkgreen][i]All that surround us is the foundation of life, the birthplace of what your science calls midi-chlorians, the foundation of what connects the Living Force and the Cosmic Force.[/i][/color][/right]
[center][color=f7976a][i]It is said that certain creatures are born with a higher awareness of the Force than humans. Their brains are different; they have more midi-chlorians in their cells.[/i][/color][/center]
[color=0076a3][i]The Force is not a power you have. It's not about lifting rocks. It's the energy between all things, a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together.[/i][/color]
[center][color=8882be][i]All that surrounds us is the foundation of life, the birthplace of what your science calls midi-chlorians, the foundation of what connects the Living Force and the Cosmic Force. When a living thing dies, all is renewed. Life passes away from the Living Force into the Cosmic Force and becomes one with it. One powers the other. One is renewed by the other.[/i][/color][/center]
[right][color=crimson][i]Darkness rises, and light to meet it.[/i][/color][/right]
[center][color=598527][i]Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.[/i][/color][/center]
[color=gray][i]It is like a cloud, a mist that drifts from living creature to creature, set in motion by currents and eddies. It is the eye of the storm, the passions of all living things turned into energy, into a chorus. It is the rising swell at the end of life, the promise of new territories and new blood, the call of new mysteries in the dark.[/i][/color]
[center][color=gray][i]I hate the Force, I hate that it seems to have a will, that it would control us to achieve some measure of balance when countless lives are lost.[/i][/color][/center]
[right][color=gold][i]The Force fights with me![/i][/color][/right][center][color=gray][i]There is no truth in the Force.[/i][/color][/center]
[center][color=silver][b][i]Answers?[/i][/b][/color][/center]
[color=gray][i]Perhaps you were expecting some surprise, for me to reveal a secret that had eluded you, something that would change your perspective of events, shatter you to your core. There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you.[/i][/color]
[center][color=silver][i]Why did you cut me off from the Force?[/i][/color][/center]
[right][color=snow][i]Look within for the answer. We are each solely accountable for everything in our lives. Nothing ever happens to us unless we allow it.[/i][/color][/right]
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><hr class="bb-hr"><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="azure"><span class="bb-i">Feel free to wander across this bio. It will be an assortment of quotes expressing spiritual, and other philosophical sentiments starting from Star Wars, then branching into other fictional mediums, and perhaps passages from our own world. </span></font></div><br><hr class="bb-hr"><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="skyblue"><span class="bb-b"><span class="bb-i">Fragments of the Force</span></span></font><br><br><font color="slategray"><span class="bb-i">"For now we see through a glass, darkly."<br>1 Corinthians 13:12</span></font></div><br><hr class="bb-hr"><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="skyblue"><span class="bb-b"><span class="bb-i">The Force</span></span></font></div><br><font color="lightblue"><span class="bb-i">The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.</span></font><br><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="#39b54a"><span class="bb-i">Without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They continually speak to us, telling us the will of the Force. When you learn to quiet your mind, you'll hear them speaking to you.</span></font></div><br><div class="bb-right"><font color="darkgreen"><span class="bb-i">All that surround us is the foundation of life, the birthplace of what your science calls midi-chlorians, the foundation of what connects the Living Force and the Cosmic Force.</span></font></div><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="#f7976a"><span class="bb-i">It is said that certain creatures are born with a higher awareness of the Force than humans. Their brains are different; they have more midi-chlorians in their cells.</span></font></div><br><font color="#0076a3"><span class="bb-i">The Force is not a power you have. It's not about lifting rocks. It's the energy between all things, a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together.</span></font><br><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="#8882be"><span class="bb-i">All that surrounds us is the foundation of life, the birthplace of what your science calls midi-chlorians, the foundation of what connects the Living Force and the Cosmic Force. When a living thing dies, all is renewed. Life passes away from the Living Force into the Cosmic Force and becomes one with it. One powers the other. One is renewed by the other.</span></font></div><br><div class="bb-right"><font color="crimson"><span class="bb-i">Darkness rises, and light to meet it.</span></font></div><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="#598527"><span class="bb-i">Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.</span></font></div><br><font color="gray"><span class="bb-i">It is like a cloud, a mist that drifts from living creature to creature, set in motion by currents and eddies. It is the eye of the storm, the passions of all living things turned into energy, into a chorus. It is the rising swell at the end of life, the promise of new territories and new blood, the call of new mysteries in the dark.</span></font><br><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="gray"><span class="bb-i">I hate the Force, I hate that it seems to have a will, that it would control us to achieve some measure of balance when countless lives are lost.</span></font></div><br><div class="bb-right"><font color="gold"><span class="bb-i">The Force fights with me!</span></font></div><div class="bb-center"><font color="gray"><span class="bb-i">There is no truth in the Force.</span></font></div><br><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="silver"><span class="bb-b"><span class="bb-i">Answers?</span></span></font></div><br><font color="gray"><span class="bb-i">Perhaps you were expecting some surprise, for me to reveal a secret that had eluded you, something that would change your perspective of events, shatter you to your core. There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you.</span></font><br><div class="bb-center"><font color="silver"><span class="bb-i">Why did you cut me off from the Force?</span></font></div><br><div class="bb-right"><font color="snow"><span class="bb-i">Look within for the answer. We are each solely accountable for everything in our lives. Nothing ever happens to us unless we allow it.</span></font></div></div>
ButtsnBalls
Kaithe Dame
Lilibat