Dumb guy.
Wade Wilson
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bruh.
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hey, man, we listened to your demos
Most Recent Posts
Nonexistent population.
Long break.
Shitty destination.
<Snipped quote by Wade Wilson>
You get to shit on people.
But what's the appeal of shitting on people?
What's the appeal of being an asshole (and/or proud of being one)?
Granted. Little did you know, the controls are in Japanese, and the moment you attempt to do a slow fall you actually go at lightspeed and burst through the fabric of time and space. Now you, your family and your cow are dead.
I wish for time to stop indefinitely.
I wish for time to stop indefinitely.
Jailed for kissing a butterfly. That is bestiality, my friend.
Jailed for being outdated.
A tip-top collaboration with @kingkonrad
Tuesday, May 23rd
Location: Bolingbroke Penitentiary
Characters: Aidan “Liberty” Shepard, Tobias Torvalds
Aidan sat with his back on the bed, facing up towards the ceiling in quiet brooding. He thought about the same thing he’d thought about all the time since he first got here – he failed. He failed the heist, he failed the Syndicate... he failed Christopher Helmsley. However, another thought crept in this time; making its’ way into the centre of his brain and remaining there, loud yet silent. He was still alive. This wasn’t right. He was supposed to be dead right now – it was far too risky to keep a failed group alive, or else they might blab to the police, god forbid. But he wasn’t, and it (much to his surprise) scared the crap out of him. Though, as his mind drifted back and ran through the ridiculous plan thought up by Ryan Helmsley, he doubted he’d be alive much longer.
Despite his grievances, he was still up and ready to go when he was called out by the guard. 2:30 – or, as the military would say, 14:30 – was the time scheduled for the riot, and as he glanced over to his partners in crime, he was ready to deliver one. Prison life wouldn’t have been too hard for him to adapt to, if it weren’t for the select group of guards that decided to give him a hard time, no matter what he did. He guessed the rest of the imprisoned Knights would be in a similar situation, seeing as their presumed affiliation with the Syndicate could lead to some personal vendettas amongst the prison staff.
A rough shove from a guard snapped him out of his thoughts, and Aidan mumbled a string of curses under his breath as he looked to the ground, walking forward at a quicker pace. The clock in his mind counted down endlessly; ‘tick, tick, tick... tick, tick, tick...’, an agonising thirst for violence starting to kick in as the clock got closer to half past. He looked around for the rest of his group, his eyes meeting Tobias’. ‘Liberty’ gave the other man a quick nod, though his brow furrowed as Tobias looked away. Aidan was a very paranoid man, and the fact that the source of his failure was a rat, a stinking, lying, son-of-a-bitch rat, wasn’t helping this at all.
Soon enough, the thoughts swarmed his mind again, and the following ten minutes melted away. Before he knew it, he was plunged head-first into chaos as animalistic yelling erupted, and his eyes met the other side of the room as Tobias Torvalds himself took on a large group of Mexicans. The man in question was tough, sure, but as he took the brute force of a right hook, Aidan knew he had to try and intervene. A lot of the prison was getting pissed off. Quickly headbutting a guard and grabbing a baton, he rushed over to the Norwegian, slamming the baton down on the back of an angry prisoner’s neck.
“Christ, Torvalds. You really stirred one hell of a riot up.”
Tobias chuckled, finally aware of the other man that had appeared. Liberty, or Aidan. He preferred the latter, the former reminded him far too much of where he’d been in the past, and where...well, some shit had gone down. He kicked the prisoner away, as for a moment, the other inmates fought prisoners, and other guards rushing in.
“I made a distraction, didn’t I? No more words needed really…..now, any second...” Tobias added, as he heard the distant noise of an aircraft, as well as the noise of an engine. Something told him this was the escape plan. Guards were moving up from the towers, and firing sporadically into the air, as Tobias dived down, pushing Aidan back towards some concrete cover, as he peered over, knowing rounds weren’t going to fly up, but at the prisoners, if shit didn’t change, now.
“Fuck, any second now, I swear to God…...we go free or fucking die, you hear!” Tobias loudly yelled, fully embroiled in the moment, as he looked back at Aidan.
“This is where I run out of ideas.”
“I figured as much,” Shep quipped in response, slamming his baton outwards just as a prisoner ran past. It hit said prisoner straight in the neck, and they fell to the floor. “Damn, that’s gotta hurt. Anyways, if we want to get out of here alive, then we’ve got to do something. I knew it’d come to the age old philosophy of ‘idea vs execution’ when it came to this Helmsley kid. Let’s just hope the boys on the outside don’t fuck it up, huh? Wha- oh, shit!” Aidan ducked down just in time to avoid a punch, the fist aimed at him slamming into the wall instead. He stood up, grabbing a burly-looking man’s arm - the same one that just tried to squash his skull - and grunting as he flipped him over. Then, A proceeded to beat the man relentlessly with the baton.
“Oh- and Tobias?” He said, in-between beatings. The thirst for violence was kicking in a little. It usually didn’t get in the way of his jobs for the Syndicate, but something inside him was glad that he wasn’t technically on a Syndicate job - he could unleash his rage on anyone in here.
“Yeah?” Tobias replied, looking across at Aiden.
The man’s voice grew deep; almost a growl. “If you’re the guy that ratted us out, I promise I will personally hunt you down, and make your death fucking slow and agonising.” Every other word was accompanied by the baton smashing down on the already-dead prisoner’s skull, the last few words dragged out menacingly. Aidan suddenly perked up again. “And if not, you can help me do exactly that to the actual rat.”
Tobias grappled another prisoner, kicking him hard in the stomach, before shanking him clean with the screwdriver, looking across at Aidan, the comedy timing of the fact that they had begun kicking in heads again ringing in the Norwegian’s head.
“I think we all feel the same. If I was the rat, I’d have had a hell of a time picking which one to kill first, to take with me to hell. Take that as a compliment, right?” Tobias said, as the man on the floor groaned, as he kicked him hard, before a shot went off at his feet.
“Fuck!” With it, Tobias slid towards cover, and knew that well, they were being watched now.
“You mean that wasn’t a compliment?” Aidan joked, before giving his human punching bag one last hit. The baton was coated in blood, and there were red stains on his jumpsuit from where the blood had sprayed up. At least he was in a better state than the beaten up corpse at his feet. “All I know, is that if anyone isn’t fucking pissed over this rat deal, I’m pretty sure they’re the stinking rat themselves.” He kicked it away gingerly, the stench of blood wafting up his nostrils as he followed Tobias’ move, diving for cover. “Shit! How long before those useless assholes get here?!” He was getting angry now.
However, at that precise moment, the insurgent burst forth through the west wall of the prison. The entire riot practically stopped, as every prisoner located the source of the noise and stared for a brief moment at the giant hole in the wall - Aidan and Tobias included. Suddenly, chaos ensued. Prisoners rushed to get out, and the Los Santos native looked to the Norwegian as cargo boxes were dropped into the yard. It wouldn’t be long before stragglers would attempt to get into the crates; or, even worse, the guards started shooting to kill. “If we want to get out of here with our heads still attached - and guns in our hands - we gotta go, now.”
With that, Aidan took off, signalling for Tobias to follow. He quickly took down a prisoner trying to block the way, before spotting someone lunging for Tobias. “Torvalds, to your left!”
Tobias ducked, and slid the shank into the man’s abdomen, as he threw him down, kicking him in the head, before pulling the shank out with a twist. He didn’t bother finishing the man, spitting blood, looking back at Aidan, blood spitting occasionally from the man’s body onto the Norwegian.
“Noted. Behind you.” With it, Tobias threw the shank, almost as clean as he could, and it landed straight into a man’s temple, the guard carrying a shank of his own, as Tobias walked past Aiden, nodding.
“Let’s get some fucking guns, eh?” With it, the Norwegian pulled the shank out, as he moved forward, following close to Aidan, knowing they had to get to the supply that had been dropped in. Prisoners were getting armed, but none of them knew what the fuck they were doing, the gunfire erupting across the yard, as the firefights picked up.
“Glad to know you can handle yourself. I had a friend once, he was put into prison after we failed to rob a store - I wasn’t caught, of course - and he emerged an absolute pussy.” Aidan said, eyes trained entirely on the crate as he dodged blows. “Let’s just hope we can get some guns before they’ve all been taken by these idiots, eh?” He gestured to the general racket in the yard, “I knew there’d be a flaw in this plan. It’s fucking insane, how have we even gotten this far?” He wondered aloud, grabbing two SMGs and throwing one to Tobias. The Norwegian took the gun, a magazine loaded as he cocked the German-made weapon, the stock sitting gently against his shoulder, as he looked over at Aidan, finding a position of cover.
“Now, let’s get the fuck out of here.” Aidan shot down two guards, as Tobias took out another two on a walkway above, the two far more accurate, and precise to as to what was going on. They were no longer in the killzone of the crate, and Tobias hoped Kang, and Ravyn had followed the fucking plan, because the guards were going to cotton on soon enough.
“Agreed.” Tobias replied, as he flung another magazine in, knowing he had to use his ammunition sparingly. Sliding over the concrete barrier, he took out another set of guards ahead, the SWAT or response teams not here yet, rolling into cover as he took out another group. The muzzle of Aidan’s SMG flashed beside him, as he dropped guards on the opposite side of Tobias.
“Up on the walkway, more shooters!” Tobias yelled to Aidan, as he kept back, wanting to wait for the moment. Aiming before he shot, he shot carefully and accurately, his military training kicking in, not wanting to waste ammo, not here. “Fucking go, I’ve got your back!”
“Alright!” Aidan said, quickly placing a hand on the Norwegian’s shoulder. “Get out alive, alright? I’m not leaving you behind, but I’d prefer not to have to run back into here all heroic-like, you know?” He grinned, running forward whilst firing and - much to his surprise - managing to take some guys down.
Tobias saw Aiden run, as he knew he would be out of the woods, well, mostly, given that the other prisoners were still shooting guards, not running. Even the Norwegian had to admit, this plan was incredibly fucking dangerous, and relied upon the people inside actually being smart enough to go with the Blitz Play that was going on, not to fuck up and die, like a lot of these prisoners would. Moving from cover, he took out a set of guards, moving out from a base of a tower, sending rounds towards them, catching a couple of 9mm rounds in his arm. If it wasn’t for the adrenaline, he’d have stopped right there, but he didn’t. He only kept going after he’d dropped them, and started running, looking only at the hole, at freedom, where Aidan was going. Now, he fucking hoped.
Aidan watched the action unfold as he waited for Tobias, having taken cover behind the other side of the wall, at the edge where the gaping hole started. He thought he’d have to run back in when Tobias took a few shots to the arm, but he was impressed to see that wouldn’t stop the guy. He ducked down as shots were fired towards him, dropping a guard and two prisoners that the motherfucker had teamed up with. Leaning back to see the action inside again, he gestured for Tobias to come to him.
“It’s my turn to cover you, man; fucking run! Aidan yelled above the noise, taking position and laying down covering fire for the Norwegian. Tobias kept running, and didn’t stop, not until he made it to Aidan. Fuck knows if the others made it; they knew their role. Aidan had just been close by when this happened, trying to find the others was impossible, hence why he was weary of shooting anyone in a prison jumpsuit, particularly covered in blood. Keeping moving, he spat blood, and slid behind the rock that was near to Aiden, looking over. They were out, they were no longer in the sandy and dusty courtyard of the prison, they were free, and out of the ditch, out of the Pen. A smile cracked on Tobias’s face, as he looked at his arm, sighing.
“Ahhh, shit.” He said, poking it slowly, almost wanting to scream, as he realized where it had gone. It wasn’t as bad as he thought. Well, given he’d done far worse to people, this was a start.
“Fuck, that was lucky. Grazed in. Not much metal in the wound. Eh, it’ll be fine, I’ll sort it later.” He added, Tobias looking across to Aiden, the sound of bullets quietening, focused more inside the prison walls now, rather than out. The team that had punched the wall in had made all the noise they could make.
“You good?”
Aidan nodded in response, breathing heavily. “Yeah, mostly unscratched. Just got a few whacks from the guards. I’m not dead, so that’s a start.” He gave a heavy chuckle, chest feeling not-so-tight as he, too, realized they were finally out of the prison. The adrenaline was wearing off now, and he furrowed his brow, looking to the sky briefly as he waited for what happened next…
Despite his grievances, he was still up and ready to go when he was called out by the guard. 2:30 – or, as the military would say, 14:30 – was the time scheduled for the riot, and as he glanced over to his partners in crime, he was ready to deliver one. Prison life wouldn’t have been too hard for him to adapt to, if it weren’t for the select group of guards that decided to give him a hard time, no matter what he did. He guessed the rest of the imprisoned Knights would be in a similar situation, seeing as their presumed affiliation with the Syndicate could lead to some personal vendettas amongst the prison staff.
A rough shove from a guard snapped him out of his thoughts, and Aidan mumbled a string of curses under his breath as he looked to the ground, walking forward at a quicker pace. The clock in his mind counted down endlessly; ‘tick, tick, tick... tick, tick, tick...’, an agonising thirst for violence starting to kick in as the clock got closer to half past. He looked around for the rest of his group, his eyes meeting Tobias’. ‘Liberty’ gave the other man a quick nod, though his brow furrowed as Tobias looked away. Aidan was a very paranoid man, and the fact that the source of his failure was a rat, a stinking, lying, son-of-a-bitch rat, wasn’t helping this at all.
Soon enough, the thoughts swarmed his mind again, and the following ten minutes melted away. Before he knew it, he was plunged head-first into chaos as animalistic yelling erupted, and his eyes met the other side of the room as Tobias Torvalds himself took on a large group of Mexicans. The man in question was tough, sure, but as he took the brute force of a right hook, Aidan knew he had to try and intervene. A lot of the prison was getting pissed off. Quickly headbutting a guard and grabbing a baton, he rushed over to the Norwegian, slamming the baton down on the back of an angry prisoner’s neck.
“Christ, Torvalds. You really stirred one hell of a riot up.”
Tobias chuckled, finally aware of the other man that had appeared. Liberty, or Aidan. He preferred the latter, the former reminded him far too much of where he’d been in the past, and where...well, some shit had gone down. He kicked the prisoner away, as for a moment, the other inmates fought prisoners, and other guards rushing in.
“I made a distraction, didn’t I? No more words needed really…..now, any second...” Tobias added, as he heard the distant noise of an aircraft, as well as the noise of an engine. Something told him this was the escape plan. Guards were moving up from the towers, and firing sporadically into the air, as Tobias dived down, pushing Aidan back towards some concrete cover, as he peered over, knowing rounds weren’t going to fly up, but at the prisoners, if shit didn’t change, now.
“Fuck, any second now, I swear to God…...we go free or fucking die, you hear!” Tobias loudly yelled, fully embroiled in the moment, as he looked back at Aidan.
“This is where I run out of ideas.”
“I figured as much,” Shep quipped in response, slamming his baton outwards just as a prisoner ran past. It hit said prisoner straight in the neck, and they fell to the floor. “Damn, that’s gotta hurt. Anyways, if we want to get out of here alive, then we’ve got to do something. I knew it’d come to the age old philosophy of ‘idea vs execution’ when it came to this Helmsley kid. Let’s just hope the boys on the outside don’t fuck it up, huh? Wha- oh, shit!” Aidan ducked down just in time to avoid a punch, the fist aimed at him slamming into the wall instead. He stood up, grabbing a burly-looking man’s arm - the same one that just tried to squash his skull - and grunting as he flipped him over. Then, A proceeded to beat the man relentlessly with the baton.
“Oh- and Tobias?” He said, in-between beatings. The thirst for violence was kicking in a little. It usually didn’t get in the way of his jobs for the Syndicate, but something inside him was glad that he wasn’t technically on a Syndicate job - he could unleash his rage on anyone in here.
“Yeah?” Tobias replied, looking across at Aiden.
The man’s voice grew deep; almost a growl. “If you’re the guy that ratted us out, I promise I will personally hunt you down, and make your death fucking slow and agonising.” Every other word was accompanied by the baton smashing down on the already-dead prisoner’s skull, the last few words dragged out menacingly. Aidan suddenly perked up again. “And if not, you can help me do exactly that to the actual rat.”
Tobias grappled another prisoner, kicking him hard in the stomach, before shanking him clean with the screwdriver, looking across at Aidan, the comedy timing of the fact that they had begun kicking in heads again ringing in the Norwegian’s head.
“I think we all feel the same. If I was the rat, I’d have had a hell of a time picking which one to kill first, to take with me to hell. Take that as a compliment, right?” Tobias said, as the man on the floor groaned, as he kicked him hard, before a shot went off at his feet.
“Fuck!” With it, Tobias slid towards cover, and knew that well, they were being watched now.
“You mean that wasn’t a compliment?” Aidan joked, before giving his human punching bag one last hit. The baton was coated in blood, and there were red stains on his jumpsuit from where the blood had sprayed up. At least he was in a better state than the beaten up corpse at his feet. “All I know, is that if anyone isn’t fucking pissed over this rat deal, I’m pretty sure they’re the stinking rat themselves.” He kicked it away gingerly, the stench of blood wafting up his nostrils as he followed Tobias’ move, diving for cover. “Shit! How long before those useless assholes get here?!” He was getting angry now.
However, at that precise moment, the insurgent burst forth through the west wall of the prison. The entire riot practically stopped, as every prisoner located the source of the noise and stared for a brief moment at the giant hole in the wall - Aidan and Tobias included. Suddenly, chaos ensued. Prisoners rushed to get out, and the Los Santos native looked to the Norwegian as cargo boxes were dropped into the yard. It wouldn’t be long before stragglers would attempt to get into the crates; or, even worse, the guards started shooting to kill. “If we want to get out of here with our heads still attached - and guns in our hands - we gotta go, now.”
With that, Aidan took off, signalling for Tobias to follow. He quickly took down a prisoner trying to block the way, before spotting someone lunging for Tobias. “Torvalds, to your left!”
Tobias ducked, and slid the shank into the man’s abdomen, as he threw him down, kicking him in the head, before pulling the shank out with a twist. He didn’t bother finishing the man, spitting blood, looking back at Aidan, blood spitting occasionally from the man’s body onto the Norwegian.
“Noted. Behind you.” With it, Tobias threw the shank, almost as clean as he could, and it landed straight into a man’s temple, the guard carrying a shank of his own, as Tobias walked past Aiden, nodding.
“Let’s get some fucking guns, eh?” With it, the Norwegian pulled the shank out, as he moved forward, following close to Aidan, knowing they had to get to the supply that had been dropped in. Prisoners were getting armed, but none of them knew what the fuck they were doing, the gunfire erupting across the yard, as the firefights picked up.
“Glad to know you can handle yourself. I had a friend once, he was put into prison after we failed to rob a store - I wasn’t caught, of course - and he emerged an absolute pussy.” Aidan said, eyes trained entirely on the crate as he dodged blows. “Let’s just hope we can get some guns before they’ve all been taken by these idiots, eh?” He gestured to the general racket in the yard, “I knew there’d be a flaw in this plan. It’s fucking insane, how have we even gotten this far?” He wondered aloud, grabbing two SMGs and throwing one to Tobias. The Norwegian took the gun, a magazine loaded as he cocked the German-made weapon, the stock sitting gently against his shoulder, as he looked over at Aidan, finding a position of cover.
“Now, let’s get the fuck out of here.” Aidan shot down two guards, as Tobias took out another two on a walkway above, the two far more accurate, and precise to as to what was going on. They were no longer in the killzone of the crate, and Tobias hoped Kang, and Ravyn had followed the fucking plan, because the guards were going to cotton on soon enough.
“Agreed.” Tobias replied, as he flung another magazine in, knowing he had to use his ammunition sparingly. Sliding over the concrete barrier, he took out another set of guards ahead, the SWAT or response teams not here yet, rolling into cover as he took out another group. The muzzle of Aidan’s SMG flashed beside him, as he dropped guards on the opposite side of Tobias.
“Up on the walkway, more shooters!” Tobias yelled to Aidan, as he kept back, wanting to wait for the moment. Aiming before he shot, he shot carefully and accurately, his military training kicking in, not wanting to waste ammo, not here. “Fucking go, I’ve got your back!”
“Alright!” Aidan said, quickly placing a hand on the Norwegian’s shoulder. “Get out alive, alright? I’m not leaving you behind, but I’d prefer not to have to run back into here all heroic-like, you know?” He grinned, running forward whilst firing and - much to his surprise - managing to take some guys down.
Tobias saw Aiden run, as he knew he would be out of the woods, well, mostly, given that the other prisoners were still shooting guards, not running. Even the Norwegian had to admit, this plan was incredibly fucking dangerous, and relied upon the people inside actually being smart enough to go with the Blitz Play that was going on, not to fuck up and die, like a lot of these prisoners would. Moving from cover, he took out a set of guards, moving out from a base of a tower, sending rounds towards them, catching a couple of 9mm rounds in his arm. If it wasn’t for the adrenaline, he’d have stopped right there, but he didn’t. He only kept going after he’d dropped them, and started running, looking only at the hole, at freedom, where Aidan was going. Now, he fucking hoped.
Aidan watched the action unfold as he waited for Tobias, having taken cover behind the other side of the wall, at the edge where the gaping hole started. He thought he’d have to run back in when Tobias took a few shots to the arm, but he was impressed to see that wouldn’t stop the guy. He ducked down as shots were fired towards him, dropping a guard and two prisoners that the motherfucker had teamed up with. Leaning back to see the action inside again, he gestured for Tobias to come to him.
“It’s my turn to cover you, man; fucking run! Aidan yelled above the noise, taking position and laying down covering fire for the Norwegian. Tobias kept running, and didn’t stop, not until he made it to Aidan. Fuck knows if the others made it; they knew their role. Aidan had just been close by when this happened, trying to find the others was impossible, hence why he was weary of shooting anyone in a prison jumpsuit, particularly covered in blood. Keeping moving, he spat blood, and slid behind the rock that was near to Aiden, looking over. They were out, they were no longer in the sandy and dusty courtyard of the prison, they were free, and out of the ditch, out of the Pen. A smile cracked on Tobias’s face, as he looked at his arm, sighing.
“Ahhh, shit.” He said, poking it slowly, almost wanting to scream, as he realized where it had gone. It wasn’t as bad as he thought. Well, given he’d done far worse to people, this was a start.
“Fuck, that was lucky. Grazed in. Not much metal in the wound. Eh, it’ll be fine, I’ll sort it later.” He added, Tobias looking across to Aiden, the sound of bullets quietening, focused more inside the prison walls now, rather than out. The team that had punched the wall in had made all the noise they could make.
“You good?”
Aidan nodded in response, breathing heavily. “Yeah, mostly unscratched. Just got a few whacks from the guards. I’m not dead, so that’s a start.” He gave a heavy chuckle, chest feeling not-so-tight as he, too, realized they were finally out of the prison. The adrenaline was wearing off now, and he furrowed his brow, looking to the sky briefly as he waited for what happened next…
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