Blueflame
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LimeTime966
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The Odeoron<Snipped quote by Webmaster>
Then why did they seal you in with the nobility?
I was their biggest threat at that point. It was a cold, cruel numbers game. Unjustified and evil.
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Katherine
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I was their biggest threat at that point. It was a cold, cruel numbers game. Unjustified and evil.
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..... then what happened?
Tier Five subverted and destroyed the Nobility before we had a chance to play a single card. We didn’t go to war before or after.
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No one side is enitrely peaceful, love. I've fought wars my whole life, as a merc or as the leader of a side. For the name of peace and prosperity... I've done horrible things. Its just... hard to believe that a side in a war didnt hurt anyone. Are you saying it was a one sided slaughter?
We weren’t at war! There was never a war!
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Well... I cant remember all the details, but somethign about you haveing a dorect involvement in Black Paper Moon. And that you used soem sort of weapon that got a lot of people killed, and if im remembering correctly, innocent people as well. But they wouldnt go into much more detail than that. They said it was all they could give me.
That’s all Tier Five propaganda! We were peaceloving and hurt no one! Tier Five hated us because we were their rivals!
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Considering that some of them have lived though much more than I have, including those wars... quite a lot. And they've told me very little. All I know, is that my closest friends who have always had my best interest in mind, and they dont like you. I try not to let it bother me, but.... it eats at me. Why would they tell me something like that? That you were a part of... Black Paper Moon? Did you fight against the Tier Five? So many people died in that war...
Wait, back up a bunch. What exactly did they tell you I did?
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Love... the damage was done before you found me. It's just something I need to work on.... and I will. For us. Please stop blaming yourself. If there is ever a problem between us, I'll let you know, as I have from the start. Right now the only issue between us is how little I know about you, specifically your past, and how it correlates to who you are now. If we're going on word of mouth, you and I have both done some pottentially not-so-good things. Im not going to accuse you of anything without having concrete proof of it. But the truth is.... I'm afraid. What if my friends are right? What if I'm seeing things wrong? Theres so many variables... either way, as it stands right now I love you for the you that you've shown me. Assuming that is all there is to it, then all is well. I can lay those thoughts to rest....
What do they know that you don’t?
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Don't you dare blame yourself for my faults, Blue. You didn't do this to me.
But I should—I should be able to do something. I just weigh you down...
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I..... I'lll do my best, love. I promise. My mental health gets the best of me at times... I need a therapist. One that... one that I dont have the ties I do with you. I need an outsider's perspective. As much as you have been helpful... there are just some things you won't be able to help with. I'm going to look into a few soon. Ill get better.. if not for myself, then for you.
I’m just... not enough. In any way.
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Well... I can't say for certain about that last part, but I do love you. We may not be a perfect fit, but... I love you. I love seeing your smile. I love when I get to wake up and feel you in my arms. I love when I get to see the ocean of blue in your eyes. There are a lot of things I don't know about you due to circumstances, and that does bother me, But I know that as long as you keep doing what you're doing now and have been doing since the start, I cant fault you for anything. Its just... keep in mind. I am used to having everything taken from me. Friends, family.... everything. I'd give and give... and it was never enough. The existence I fought for always fights me back. It gets.. .mentally and physically exausting..
.
Then live, Shinji, live! Live for me! Don't leave me alone again...
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I.... I have no excuse for that. I've stated it before, but... my mental health isnt the best. I thought I was doing better but... the stress of my life as it is, hauntings from my past... the medication isnt working, anymore. Ive come to terms with a lot of it but... the pain's still there.. either way, thats no excuse.
Don't I mean something to you?
*Gulps*
Am I one day going to reach for you and find a dead man reaching back?
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