First of all… What is this? Are you interrogating all the students? ‘cos if that’s the case, well, then I’d like to complain about it. Or are you interrogating only some of the students? In that case, I’d like to complain even more, ‘cos that is discrimination. But ok, you just wanna know my name, I’d give it to you, and get the hell out of here as fast as I can. M’name is Josh Segel. Not that you didn’t know it. I’ve been here m’whole life. You even know m’nickname for Christ sake. What kind of sick twisted interview is this?
I’m a senior in High school. And since I’m one of the oldest in m’class. Well then I’m 18 years old. I’ll be going to College next summer, under a scholarship. Thank god to football, otherwise I’d have some serious trouble affording it. Well, not me, m’parents, but you get what I mean. I’m really looking forward to it.
Ain’t you looking at me man? I’m telling this is twisted. Am I doing this for some kind of contest? Should you tell what’s all this about… Everything would be sooo much easier. But… I’m… *gasp* I’m 1,79 meters tall, so I’m kind of tall. I’m above average at least. Weight… Well, haven`t weighted m’self in a long time. Last time I did, I weighted like forty Kg or something. But I was probably eight or nine. So no idea there. M’hair is kind in the middle between blonde and fair. M’eyes are blue, a really nice tone of blue. I wouldn’t know how to describe it, so you can see for yourself. Should I be honest, I think I’m good looking, and apparently, the girls think that as well. I don’t know if it’s m’face or m’deep eyes, there’s something about me that drives them crazy. I don’t mean to brag about it, but it’s just the truth. I know it sounds kind of cocky, but that's just how I am
Well, as I’ve already said, I play football. That’s like m’major hobby. I train four times a week. Other way I wouldn’t have enter college. But I also have other hobbies. I play the piano, for instance, not as much as I would like to, it's just that I don't have the time to do it. Right now I’m practicing a piece from Debussy that’s really cool. You should hear it. If there was a piano here I would play it for you… It’s a shame… Well, I also like music, mainly rock and stuff. I don’t know what else. I like spending time with my friends, ‘cos that a hobby too, y’know? And… that should be pretty much it… No! Wait. I also like movies.
What are some things that you especially dislike?
Well, I don’t like it when people are afraid. Especially when they are afraid of doing what they want or like. I say: “If you like stripping for money, well then what’s the shame about it? Go do it. Be happy. That’s all that matters. Who cares what other people think. I most certainly don’t. I also hate love stories. Oh god. Let me get it straight. It’s not that I hate love stories per se, I just hate when a movie or a book is based just in that love story. When the love story is tangled in the middle of another series of stories, well then I do like that, ’cos that’s life, y’know? I also have to say that I don’t like it when thing are unfair. But I guess we all hate that. I dislike the smoke of the cigarette and also the Funyuns… Blaj! I hate alarm clocks. Men, I hate to be woken up abruptly. And I hated the movie Robocop. I mean, the guy was shoot like a hundred time all over his body and then he received a headshot and that wasn’t enough to kill him!? Puaj! I can’t believe I went to see that movie, what a waste.
What are your goals for the future?
Both immediate and long-term: To be honest: M’immediate goal is to get out of this interview. To leave this room and go get some fresh air. Perhaps play some football or something. My long-term goals are to be able to play in the NFL. That would be the dream man. If that doesn’t happen, because, I don’t know, an injury or something like that, I mean, shit happens, what are you going to do about it, I’ll like to be a lawyer. To stand up for the unlucky. To help create a better world. I know it sound a little bit utopist, but you can never give up on you dream.
What's your home life like? Specifically, what is your relationship like with your parents?
M’relationship with m’parents is smooth. I don’t know. M`father works all they, I barely see him. M`mom spends a little bit more of time at home, so I see her a little bit more. We talk during dinner. We usually eat together, so we use that time to catch up with each other’s life. There’s not too much more to it. Sometimes we go to the movies together. Though last time we did we went to saw Robocop. No wonder why we never did it again. We’re busy people. The three of us.
What's your favorite animal, and why?
Oh, that’s a hard one. I believe I’m able to narrow it down to three though. First, the monkey, because of the extremely amazing things they can do. They’re extraordinary agile and have basically five hands, counting the two feet and their tail. Then there’s the tiger, they are both, strong and agile, at the same time. I found that really surprising. Last but not least, there’s the wolf. I actually don’t know why I like wolves. I just do. Maybe it’s because I really like dogs and wolves are kind of like an upgrade, y’know? So, if I had to pick one out of these three… I’ll rule down the monkey, because they are very similar to humans, and I’m looking for an animal here. And from the other two… well, wolves hunt in packs, I don't like being alone, so I do like that. And I also like the fact that they’re canines, while tigers are felines. Sooo… I guess I have to say wolves! The wolf is m’favourite animal. Who would’ve thought that I would take something from these tedious questioning, eh?
Ok, that’s easy. Red, because of the Red Sox. Shoot me with your next question.
Do you identify with any song or piece of music?
Well yeah, sure! As I said, I really like music and if I were to pick a song that I’m identified with… That would be November Rain, from Guns & Roses. Mainly because I like the band and that was one of the first songs I ever played with an audience. It’s also really soothing.
Do you believe in aliens?
What?! I’m sorry. That question took me completely by surprise. Of course I believe in aliens. I`ve read lots of sci-fi books and seen lots of sci-fi movies. But apart from that, there are like… I don`t know… let’s say… a thousand galaxies in the universe. Each galaxy has, let’s say 5 planets, give it or take. That means in the whole universe there are like five-thousand planets. Are you really going to tell me that from 5000 planets ours is the only with life in it. Come on. It’s mere logic.
No, never heard about her... No, wait, ain`t she the gal who`s friends with Clay. You know the one I`m telling you? she drives a jeep or something of the sort. She hot. But I believe she`s in college or something, I haven`t seen her around school latetly. Shame...
Clay?... yeah, I know him from school. A little shy I think. Eveybody thinks his stupid. I don't know, I haven't talk to him that much, so I wouldn't be able to tell. I don't like prejudging people. I'll tell you something though: If I were to get in a fight, his the man I'd like to have beside me. Man, I've seen him fight and he really rocks. I belive he's been suspended once, or something like that, for fighting in the school.
Kimmy? ain`t she friends with Clay too? Does this questioning has something to do with what happened between Clay and me. Cause if that`s it, I don`t want to talk about it. It`s over. Moved on. Stop asking questions about it. OK? Regarding Kimmy. No, I don`t know her. I just know her name and the fact that she`s chinnese... or japanese... or something of the sort... I don`t really give a damn. I`m not good when it comes to diferentiting asian people, something I`ll have to work on
Of course I know Zasha. He´s my neighbour, and actually, one of my greatest friends. He was the only one that stood up for me the one time I really needed it, and for that I`m really thankful.