Wolvena

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme Stirling

Esme was so focused on the ground ahead of her, she hadn’t realized Dean had turned around and stopped until he stepped up to her, causing her to stop. She lifted her head just as he took her face in his hands, his sad teary eyes hitting her hard as he kissed her forehead. When he pulled her into a hug, she almost melted into it, burying her face in his chest and wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. After a little time, she turned her head, resting the side of her face against his chest with a deep, shaky breath. “I…. I’m so…...sorry, Dean.” she mumbled as she closed her eyes.

She knew a few words from her song had hit him rather hard. She felt it as soon as she had said them and wished they had never left her mouth. She gripped his jacket tightly as she felt the pain building up in her chest again. She still couldn’t stop the shaking from taking over her body, brought on by their combined emotions and from fighting against the influences of the song. “I’ve…… Done it again. I’ve…...” She trailed off when a violent shiver overtook her followed by a muffled whimper. She took in a shaky breath as she clung to him, waiting for another to overtake her form, and it soon did, making her close her eyes tightly as she gripped Dean’s jacket and whimpered.

Esme tried to concentrate on other things, like Dean’s breathing and heartbeat, the way he held her tight, her own breathing, and the surrounding sounds to try and calm herself. Eventually, her shaking died down to a small tremble and she loosened her grip on his jacket but not her tight hug, when she knew she wouldn’t shake violently again. She finally opened her eyes, wanting to say something, but couldn’t find the words to say anything at that moment. Her mind felt blank and somewhat clouded. All she could do was sigh softly and continue to hug him tight as he hugged her tight.

Though her mind drifted back to Mika and how upset the woman was at what she walked up on, she couldn’t blame her, though. Esme hoped Dean and the others could defuse this situation with Mika before it got any more out of hand. Everything about this night had been bazaar and needed to find the cause of it all soon for all of their sakes.

Supernatural - After The End

Esme Stirling

Esme smiled a bit more as Dean gripped her leg a bit and responded to her words of calming him down. Before pulling out on the road, she looked over at Dean, his brightly smiling eyes warming her heart. She gave a laugh at his comment as she pulled out on the road, then placed her hand on his. “I don’t doubt that.” she said with a laugh in her tone. “Running around with just you requires a lot of energy, from what I remember. I can only imagine what energy I’ll need to run with all of you.” she said thoughtfully. “I guess it’s a good thing I don’t wear heels very often then” she joked.

As she drove to the safe house, she ran her thumb back and forth over Dean’s hand affectionately. She gave a content sigh once again as she stole a glance over at him. The next thing she knew, they were almost at the safe house. Meaning their time alone together was ending, but she knew there would be more opportunities alone with him. It also meant she could feed her protesting stomach. As she thought about eating, her stomach growled loudly, demanding to be fed soon. She cut her eyes over at Dean with a small smirk on her lips. “Think one of us will get an ear full since we took a little extra time getting here?”

Sam Winchester

Sam had given Castiel a nod before walking into the room Madison was in. He hoped Castiel could find out more about Esme and shed some light on how her being around Dean had such an effect on him. It was strange seeing him so smiley and carefree, as if he had not a problem in the world to worry about. When Madison woke and seemed concerned, he smiled warmly at her. “Nothings wrong. I was just coming to check on you.” he told her simply. He kept his tone warm and calm, hoping that her concern would fade quickly and not rise to a concerning level.

“You’ve been asleep for a little while now.” He removed his hand from her shoulder and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her and scanning her face. “How did you sleep?” He continued to smile warmly at her as he waited for her to answer and calm after telling her nothing was wrong.

Supernatural - After The End

Esme Stirling

Esme smiled sweetly again at Dean’s pout and shrug, then closed her eyes and shook her head gently at his comment before giving a little laugh of her own. Opening them again, she looked at Dean, watching him fighting to keep his eyes open as she continued to trace over his hand with her fingers. It brought a smile to her lips even as he spoke about her being the only one to see his softer side. “I know you did.” she whispered. Though, she still didn’t see the harm in the older woman seeing his softer side. When the older woman came back to the window, Esme continued to trace over Dean’s hand with her fingers as she looked over at the woman with a warm smile and thanked her as Dean took the bag.

Turning back to Dean and him shaking the bag in front of her, she gave a warm laugh at his words and looked down at their hands again. “Looks like I finally figured out the technique to mellow you out completely then.” she said as she lifted her gaze. She then rested her hand on top of his for a moment, then held his hand in hers, bringing them up to her lips and softly kissing the back of his fingers as she closed her eyes briefly. “It’s good to know in case you get too overwhelmed.” she spoke softly against his fingers. She gave his fingers one more soft kiss before bringing them from her lips and setting his hand back down on her thigh, letting her fingers softly glide off the back of his hand.

“I appreciate you feeding my protesting belly.” she smiled sweetly. “Then again, I knew you wouldn’t let me go hungry.” She then turned from him, putting her hands on the steering wheel and pulled out of the drive thru, a content smile resting upon her lips as she did.

Sam Winchester

Sam leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he listened to Castiel, giving a simple nod. He knew it was going to be hard convincing Dean. He felt also bad himself for talking behind Dean’s back. He looked down at the table as he listened to Castiel, then closed his eyes as he went over everything. “I agree. It shouldn’t be too hard to keep her close, unless she wants to be around Esme. I don’t see her letting Dean do anything. The two of them formed a pretty close bond in the short time they were together. In fact, she’s the one that found Madison when she ran away from us.” he told Castiel, his eyes still closed.

“Esme gave her clothes to wear and showed her kindness, and was even going to feed her.” He let out a sigh through his nose. “There’s something different about her I can’t quite put my finger on. She hugged Madison and she almost instantly calmed down.” he said thoughtfully. Sam fell quiet as he went into thought, going over the events of the previous day and how everything had played out. He was pulled from his thoughts as Castiel spoke again. He gave a simple nod. “Right, we don’t need her scared as soon as she wakes up.” he said as he opened his eyes. Sam leaned forward and pushed himself from the chair and onto his feet.

“Let’s hope you’re right about this.” He then turned from Castiel and headed to the room Madison had gone into. He gently pushed open the slightly cracked door and stepped into the room, then walked over to the bed. He looked down at her sleeping form for a moment before taking in a deep breath. “Madison?” He said her name softly as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme Stirling

Esme continued to walk by Dean’s side, back to Bobby’s in silence, with her hands in her jacket pockets. She looked at the ground ahead of her, thinking back on all the night's events and how bizarre and hurtful it had all been. Not really noticing, he was stomping away from her. She felt as if it had repeatedly stabbed and ripped her heart from her chest tonight. It still ached from it all. She sighed inwardly and shook her head softly to rid it of the thoughts running through it. She wanted the night to end; she wanted all the pain to stop; she wanted to find out who or what was doing this to them and for what purpose.

She looked over at him when she felt his gaze on her, wincing a bit as she saw his bruised eye and the sadness within both. She tried to smile to show she was okay to go alone, but just couldn’t muster it and sighed. “You’re right.” she agreed. “My mental state hasn’t been like this in some time, but……” He cut off when he reached over and pulled her arm into his. She knew it was a comfort move. Pulling her hands from her pockets, she placed her free hand on his arm, giving it a small squeeze. “I don’t really want to go alone, but I’ll be alright to. You need to make sure she’s alright and see if you can calm her, that’s the important thing right now.” she whispered.

After everything, she was half tempted to lay her head on his shoulder to comfort him more, but thought it would be a bad idea. “I’ll stick around if you want or need me to, but I’m going to stay out of her sight. I’m pretty sure she’d like to kill me right now. ” Esme fell silent as an image of Mika flashed before her, her face full of anger and hate with a gun pointed at her face. She gently shook it from her mind.

Cupid popped in to watch them, a smile on his face now that they were completely alone together. He looked at the two and sighed happily. His plan to get them alone was working, even if it caused a few problems. As he watched the two walk, he thought this would be the perfect time for another song for them. His smile turned into a large grin as he whipped up another melody to play softly around them, steadily growing louder by the minute.

Esme was doing her best to relax and calm her emotions, but she soon heard the melody start playing. She unconsciously gripped Dean’s arm and became tense as it became louder. She didn’t want to hear or sing another song tonight, but she soon felt the words bubbling up within her. She fought against them, closing her eyes tight, but they took hold of her and she began to sing once again. “I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family. I haven't seen them in a while….. You've been good, busier than ever, we small talk, work and the weather, your guard is up and I know why.”

She loosened her grip on his arm as she opened her eyes, slowed her steps, and fell behind him. “Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses, and I left them there to die.” As she sang, she brought her arms up around herself, wishing she could stop and not continue, but the words continued to pour out from her mouth and heart. “So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, ‘I'm sorry for that night’, and I'd go back to December all the time.” She fought against the urge to run up in front of him as she sang the words, and for once, won. Though she still couldn’t stop singing the song to Dean.

“It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I go back to December all the time.” She fell further back from Dean, half wishing he’d turn around and place his hand over her mouth to stop her from singing, but also hoping he wouldn’t turn around and watch her sing. “These days, I haven't been sleeping, staying up, playing back myself leaving. When your birthday passed and I didn't call. And I think about summer, all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side. Realized I loved you in the fall.”

She held back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes from the words, she hated singing this even though the words were true and he probably needed to hear them. “And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was ‘Goodbye’. So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you, saying ‘I'm sorry for that night.’ And I'd go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.” Esme blinked away the tears in her eyes, still half wished he’d help her stop.

She tried to bring her own hand to her mouth, but she couldn’t pull them from around herself. She screamed internally for the will to stop. “I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time.” She tried again to pull her arms from around herself, this time only getting them as far up as her upper chest, gripping at her shirt. “I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right. And how you held me in your arms that September night. The first time you ever saw me cry. Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, if we loved again I swear, I'd love you right.”

She gripped her shirt tighter, hating she had to sing to him about love at a time like this. “I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I understand. But this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying, ‘I'm sorry for that night.’ And I'd go back to December…… It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I'd go back to December all the time…… All the time.”

When the song was over and the melody died away, she took in a shaky breath, slowly letting it out as she felt herself shaking from the effort of trying to control her actions. Esme closed the gap that had formed between them as she sang, but still walked a bit behind him. Her hands were still up to her chest as she willed herself not to let her tears fall from her eyes, too many tears had been shed this night.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme Stirling

Esme watched Dean as he processed the words that had spilled out of her mouth from her heart. She could see and feel just how overwhelmed he was with everything going through his mind. He caught her off guard when he took her face into his hands, brushing back her hair with his fingers, then turned her towards the building. A small gasp escaped her lips when her back connected with the brick of the building. She watched him as he leaned in and kissed her. It was the one thing she never thought she’d feel again, and she melted into it, not being able to push him away.

Her eyes fluttered close as she returned it, bringing her hands to rest on his arms, her breath catching in her throat as he pressed his body against hers. She could feel all the emotion flowing through his kiss, and that he wanted her to forgive herself as he had forgiven her. She also knew this would be the last kiss she would ever receive from Dean. This was their closure of being with each other one more time. Esme brought her hands to his face, as a tear escaped each of her closed eyes and landed on his hands as she gave a small whimper of her own.

Her eyes shot open at Mika’s voice and as he abruptly pulled away from the kiss. Her eyes landed on Mika as she yelled, all her emotions pouring off her and Esme was feeling it all. She could feel it building before Mika balled up her fist and punched Dean in the face, which caused her to flinch. She saw it all happen in slow motion, starting with the punch to Dean falling to the ground. “Mika…. I……” she couldn’t finish what she wanted to say as she stormed off. She looked at Natalia as she scolded them. She winced, knowing that the woman was right.

Esme’s arms dropped to her sides as Natalia’s tone of disappointment stabbed her heart. When Natalia yelled at Dean and flipped him off as she went after Mika, Esme turned into the wall. “Hellfire!” she mumbled as she slammed the side of her fist against the wall and closed her eyes tight. She couldn’t call after Natalia as Dean had. She had no right to. She had fallen weak against her emotions and let them get the better of her and take control. She opened her eyes and turned back to Dean as she threw up his hands, and saw his eye swelling along with his apologetic look.

She gave her own look in silence to say he had nothing to apologize for. At his gesture to follow him, she did and remained silent with her hands in her jacket pockets, keeping her gaze averted from him. Esme’s eyes went to his phone when he received the text. When he growled and placed the phone against his forehead, she knew it was bad. She looked over at him and shook her head softly in response to driving her to the motel. “It’s alright, Dean….. You don’t have to. Just worry about taking care of her….. And getting her to calm down….. I can get there.” She gave a small smile as she picked up her pace to stay with him. She fought the urge to reach out and touch his arm to calm him.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme Stirling

Esme had heard Dean’s words as she stepped away from him, and they slightly lifted the weight on her heart. She almost missed him reaching out to her to pull her to him. She noticed him freeze and flinch when she moved away from him, then shoved his hands into his jacket. Even as she had spoken, she could see he didn’t know what to do with himself just from her stepping away and spilling her heart out to him. When he turned and met her gaze, she noticed his eyes softened and he went into thought. When he stepped towards her, she tried to step back but was frozen in place.

Esme’s eyes closed as if on their own as he brushed away her tears, then pulled her into a tight hug. She hesitated for a moment before wrapping her arms around him, not being able to fight it anymore. As he hugged her, apologized, and kissed the top of her head, she tightened her hug and gripped his jacket tightly. As Dean spoke, she closed her eyes tighter, listening to every word, and it tore at her heart, making it ache even more. When Dean mentioned not thinking about anyone telling her about his death, she tensed up as she remembered the call. She could still remember it like it was yesterday.

The news had frozen her in place and couldn’t breathe, and she had barely gotten out the words ‘No, he can’t be’ before she dropped her phone and fell to her knees in a sobbing mess. Esme opened her eyes when he sniffled, then listened to his next words. She tried to shake her head but couldn’t with the way he was holding it. “But I…..” she started, before he pulled her face from his chest. She stared into his eyes as he stared into hers. His words hit her hard. Mostly, the part about how she left was one of the worst nights of his life. Even if he forgave her for it, she couldn’t forgive herself and wasn’t sure if she ever would.

She had run away from the best thing in her life, all because it scared her and was afraid she wouldn’t find answers to her father's death, that she didn’t want to drag Dean into. Esme looked up at Dean with tear-filled eyes that held sorrow, pain, regret, and shame. “I…… I honestly don’t know how…… You can forgive me.” she stammered. “That was one of the…… Worst things I could have done to you…… Everything was so good between us. Then I…… Up and leave because I was……. Scared.” She dropped her gaze in shame to his shoulder, feeling a fresh wave of emotion hit her. She fought hard against them, not wanting them to take her over, the effort still making her shake. “I still can’t for…. Forgive myself for leaving and only leaving a note behind.”

Little did they know, Cupid was still sitting on the roof of Rusty’s in tears as he watched Dean and Esme. Notching an arrow in his bow, he pulled it back, taking careful aim at the two below as they embraced each other and talked. Adjusting his aim, he pointed his arrow at Esme and let it loose, his arrow hitting his intended target. A soft melody began to play after the arrow hit Esme, steadily growing louder by the second.

Esme tensed up when she heard the melody begin to play, looking around for its source but couldn’t find it. She closed her eyes, gripping Dean’s jacket tighter as she fought against the urge to sing to him. No, I don’t want to do this she thought to herself. The more she fought against it, the stronger it became and soon started to hum along with the melody against her will. Her gaze slowly lifted to meet his, her eyes turning soft as she sang to him. “Turn down the lights. Turn down the bed. Turn down these voices inside my head.” As she sang, she released her grip on his jacket and caressed his cheek before pulling away from him and stepping back.

“Lay down with me, tell me no lies. Just hold me close, don't patronize, don't patronize me.” She closed her eyes, turned and walked away as she continued to sing as she brought her hands up to her chest. “'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she sang to Dean, still not able to fight against the words forming and pouring out of her mouth. “Here in the dark, in these final hours. I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power.” She turned back towards him, opening her eyes and dropping her head as she continued.

“But you won't, no you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me…... If you don't…….” Esme wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes again, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I'll close my eyes, then I won't see. The love you don't feel…. When you're holding me. Morning will come and I'll do what's right, Just give me till then to give up this fight….And I will give up this fight.” Esme opened her eyes and took a couple of steps towards him, closing the gap and taking his hand in both of hers, looking at their hands. “'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours. I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power.”

She looked up into his eyes, with her tear filled ones as more tears slid down her cheeks. “But you won't, no you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't…….” She hummed along with the end of the music and caressed his cheek one last time. Gasping for air, after the song finally ended. Esme released his hand and put some space between them, then turned her head away, dropping her gaze to the ground. “I…… I’m sorry.” she mumbled through her tears. She brought a hand up and wiped away her tears with a sniffle and shaky sigh. “I couldn’t fight it.” She had done the same thing he had done to her, sang out her hidden truth and couldn’t stop from doing it. She brought her arms around herself, placing her hands on her elbows before slowly looking back at him.

Supernatural - After The End

Esme Stirling

Esme smiled more as she felt Dean’s hand against her thigh, then felt his thumb run back and forth along it. She sighed softly, holding back a shiver from his touch as she drove out of the parking lot and onto the road. Then she placed her hand on his and gave it a gentle squeeze as she kept her eyes on the road. When they pulled into the drive thru, she gave a little laugh at his comment. “I do every now and then.” she told him with a grin. When he leaned over her, she leaned back in the seat a little, then smiled at the older woman that came to the window.

She looked at Dean as he leaned his ear against her chest and ordered their food, then looked back at the older woman, watching her face. Her look brought a warm smile to Esme’s lips. When she stepped away from the window, she looked back at Dean, seeing him lean up at her with a sweet smile. “Is that really such a bad thing?” she asked with a sweet smile at his pouting. “Is it really that bad if a few people see your softer side?” She looked down and took his hand in both of hers and gave it a squeeze. She then turned her hands and rested the back of his hand in her left palm, then set her right on top of his before sliding her hand up, letting her fingers trace over his hand. “Like I said earlier. I like this side of you.” As she spoke, she looked up and smiled sweetly at him.

Sam Winchester

Sam looked at Castiel and gave a nod to his words. “I’m prepared for whatever might happen, Cas.” he started. He knew that there were many things that could happen while Madison was still learning how to exist among humans. He sighed heavily as Castiel spoke a truth about himself. It was true, he did tend to get attached quickly to people. “I know you don’t want to take the help or even ask for it, but I’m sticking around, anyway. I can only imagine how she would react if I were suddenly out of the picture.” Sam said, looking at the table.

“It wasn’t that easy earning her trust. It took her almost losing control in the diner and talking her through it for me to earn it, and showing her I was there for her and not going to kill her.” The memory of the moment flashed before his eyes, almost as if it were happening all over again. He shook the memory from his mind and looked back at Castiel, trying to drive home that he planned on sticking around to help with Madison whether or not he asked.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme Stirling

Esme wiped the tears from her face as she walked across the lot. With the distance forming between her and the bar, she had hoped the pain in her chest and the emotions would die down, but they hadn’t. They felt stronger than ever, as if some force was keeping them on the surface and not letting them recede back into the depths where she kept them. She clutched her chest with her right hand and her head with her left as another memory forced itself on her and flashed before her eyes. The memory was of them coming back from a case involving vampires. Both were pretty battered and had bleeding wounds.

They practically had to carry each other into the hotel room they were staying in. Once in and mostly collected, they tended to each other's injuries and talked to stay coherent and conscious to bypass the threats of concussions. Being so tired, they climbed onto the bed, not even bothering to change clothes or get cleaned up, and curled up together. Dean held her close to his chest and kissed her on top of her head and stroked her hair while she snuggled into him and tangled her legs up in his. The memory faded after she kissed him sweetly and he returned the kiss and they passed out in each other's arms.

Esme gasped for air as the memory released its hold on her and she staggered forward, almost falling to her knees. The memory was so vivid, as if she were there reliving it. She released her head and wiped away the fresh tears that escaped her eyes. That’s when she heard his voice ring out across the parking lot. He had followed her yet again. She took in a shaky breath and closed her eyes briefly. By the time she opened her eyes, Dean had closed the gap between them and grabbed her arm. When he spun her to face him, a gasp escaped her lips. Esme kept her gaze on the gravel beneath their feet.

She couldn’t look up into his tear-filled eyes for fear of crying more herself. She closed her eyes tightly as he spoke to her, asking her not to leave, and he didn’t know what was happening to him. She wasn’t planning on leaving, she just needed to get out of the bar and away from it all. Then again, she couldn’t leave without hitchhiking, anyway. As Dean continued to hold on to her arm, then placed it on her shoulder to turn her more to him, she opened her eyes and her gaze slowly traveled upwards and stopped on his shoulder, still not being able to look at his face.

“Talk to you.” she whispered softly. She gripped her chest more as her shaking became more visible and her emotions got stronger. How could she bring herself to talk to him about what she was afraid to admit to herself? She took in a shaky breath and slowly let it out. “After you pouring out your hidden truths…… It’s hard to.” she admitted in a whisperer. “Most of this night I’ve been reliving our time together because of the memories that have been coming to me. I’ve relived the day I left and the day I found out you had died.” She choked back a sob that tried to escape her and she turned slightly away from him.

“I…… I regret the way I left that day. I knew there was a better way, but I was too afraid to confront you with why I was leaving. I couldn’t look into your face and see the hurt that my words would cause.” she closed her eyes, a tear slid down her cheek as the memory hit her again. She shook her head to keep it from overtaking her. Esme opened her eyes again, blinking away the other tears. “I know that saying I’m sorry won’t take back the pain I’ve caused you or make up for my actions, but I am so very sorry. I don’t even expect you to forgive me for it.” She sighed heavily and took a few steps back from him.

“When I heard you had died, everything we shared and lost hit me like a ton of bricks.” she said as a shiver ran through her body. She wrapped her arms around herself almost in an attempt to stop herself from shaking. She finally lifted her gaze, her blue eyes meeting his green. “That day, I felt more alone than I ever have and I completely shut down and shut out the world around me.” she admitted to him. “I cut myself off from everyone and everything for weeks and……” she trailed off as she remembered everything after that day, then stepped back even further from him as she continued to look into his eyes. She watched him to see how her confession would hit him. She was even surprised that she had even told him about it all.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme Stirling

Esme had followed the three into the bar silently taking in the atmosphere, it was crowded but there was still room to move about with everyone in their own little groups. She softly sighed, already starting to feel herself coming down from everything just hearing the sounds within the bar. Her attention was pulled to Jess as she came up to Dean and Mika, she seemed quite excited to see them. Esme listened as she spoke to them, her eyebrows raising slightly at the mention of karaoke. As much as she loved getting in on karaoke, she was going to pass up on it tonight for fear of singing one out of her control. She just wanted to get a few drinks down her, talk a bit, and play some pool tonight.
__________________

After sitting down with the three and getting some alcohol in her, she started to have a pretty good time. Her shoulders had relaxed and she could even laugh and carry on a decent conversation with all three of them. It somewhat surprised her how smoothly it was going and how much better it seemed to be, but there came a point where she needed some time to herself. So, she politely excused herself and went to go play some pool. As she played, she noticed Dean would look over and see if she was still there. She figured to make sure she hadn’t run off. She had promised him she would stay, but it seemed he still thought she would run.

A few times, she gave him a small, warm smile when he stared over at her. Esme played against several people in the bar and happily took the cash they had set on the table as a bet. When Jess made her announcement for karaoke, Esme was just finishing up a game and looked up briefly before going back to the game. When the crowd cheered, she didn’t look up from the table. She was concentrating on sinking her shot. After sinking the shot, she went to the next, then the next. By the time the music started, she was finishing up the game. “Eight ball, corner pocket.” she called, pointing to the pocket with her cue stick. She took the shot and made it, much to the disappointment of her opponent.

She took the money off the table and put it in her pocket, then looked to the stage to see who would be singing. Her eyes widened a little, not expecting to see Dean on the stage. She hoped this song was of his own accord and that he was looking at Mika and not her. But as he sang, and she heard the words, she realized he was forced into singing and to her once again. He was also staring at her and not Mika. The words he sang were triggering memories of their time together she had been holding back. She set the cue stick down and walked away from the table, her right hand coming to rest on her chest as she watched him.

She fought against the rising emotions, not just what she felt from Dean, but her own as well. His begging for help tore at her heart, and she closed her eyes as she saw his tear and fought against her own. “Breathe Esme. Just breathe.” she whispered to herself as she felt that all too familiar ache. No matter how much she tried to fight it, she couldn’t stop the emotions from building. She still couldn’t understand what was causing this and why they were enjoying torturing them so much. She couldn’t even drown out his words as it became harder to breathe. They filled her heart and her soul, causing her to be filled to the breaking point with both of their emotions.

She opened her eyes and looked at Dean, tears now spilling from them and sliding down her cheeks. She still loved him, and couldn’t deny it even though she had tried to shove it down and lock it away, but his words had brought it back to the surface. The regret she had from leaving him had also been brought to the surface. She started to tremble from the effort of holding everything back, especially the urge to run up on the stage and hug him tightly to let him know it’d be okay because she knew she shouldn’t. “Hold it together woman.” she shakily whispered to herself.

His words continued to pull at her heartstrings, and she couldn't take much more, she could feel herself buckling under the heaviness of his words knowing they were from his heart. Esme blinked the tears from her eyes to clear her blurred vision, not being able to pull her gaze from his as he continued. This hurt her heart so much, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs to release the pain, but she held it in, her trembling becoming shaking. She was close to completely losing it when Dean broke off, the tears in his eyes tore at her more. She tried to form words, but she couldn’t get anything to come forth, she was lost in the emotions far too deep.

She was thankful when the music finally died off and the lights went back to normal, signaling the song was over. It wasn’t until the clapping started, she felt she could move, but was still having trouble catching her breath. The moment Dean wiped his face, she took the opportunity to dash for the door. His song had definitely done a number on her this time. Memories of their happiest times flashed before her eyes as she ran for the door. She was nearing full breakdown mode, which was a side of her she had never let him see. She pushed past several people, tripping and almost falling a couple of times before she reached the door and burst through it.

Esme forced herself to take a deep breath of the cool air before making her way across the parking lot and running a shaky hand through her hair. “I can’t keep doing this to myself.” she mumbled.

Supernatural - After The End

Esme Stirling

Esme lifted her chin from her arms as Dean made his way around the car and to the passenger side. She turned so she could watch him, keeping a serious look on her face as she watched him think about her question and watch her face. When she saw him smirk, she tried her hardest not to smirk as well. As Dean spoke, she nodded, looking as if she were thinking about his words. She was still fighting the smirk that threatened to show itself. As he raised his eyebrows, she put a finger to lips and tapped it against them. “Hmm, that is something to think about.” she said thoughtfully.

Esme let her hand drop before getting into the car and shutting her door, then put the key into the ignition. Once he got into the car, she gave the key a turn and started the car. When she first arrived, she hadn’t intended to stay this long, but now she really couldn’t bring herself to leave. She was enjoying Dean’s company far too much and didn’t want to leave. She also knew that her arrival was unexpected to everyone, and there was no way they could have planned for her to be there or even stay. Esme smiled inwardly at the thought of actually staying for a while and getting to spend more time with Dean. Pulling herself from the thought, she looked over at Dean and gave him a warm and sweet smile. She then pulled out of the parking space and out of the parking lot.

Sam Winchester

Sam watched Madison, seeing how tired she had become after all the exercises she had done. He gave her a hug back when she hugged him and watched her walk to the bedroom. His attention went back to Castiel, noticing his raised eyebrow and then listed as he spoke to him. Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair as Castiel spoke about Madison and nodded. When he took a seat and offered him a seat, Sam sat in the chair across from him. “Listen Cas, I know you pretty much have this handled, but you don’t have to do this alone.” Sam started. “Dean and I both gave our word that we would do what we could for Madison. I don’t plan on going back on that.”

Sam looked at Castiel to see if he was getting through to him. “It’s not hard to see that she is a powerful force and more than we have ever dealt with, but that doesn't mean I’m going to run from this. I’m going to see this through and make sure nothing happens to her.” he told Castiel.