Wolvena

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

Esme slightly flinched when Bobby scolded them all for yelling and bickering. She couldn’t help it. Cason blurting out just made her so mad. She should have been the one to break the news about it. She also didn’t realize that Anna and Sam went outside or that Mika took Duke out of the kitchen. After Esme mumbled her words, she regretted it. She didn’t mean to hurt Dean with her words. That was the last thing she wanted. But it was how she felt. If she hadn’t needed to check if Dean had come back, she wouldn’t have had to deal with Cupid, demons kidnapping her and Cason, and Duke would have never found her there. There was a chance he would have never gone to that barn and been stabbed and died. Dean’s words caused her to pull her face back to look up at the ceiling again. “I noticed.” she started in a whisper. Yes, I know he would be.” Esme sighed quietly as Dean continued, his words bringing back memories of when he would say something similar when they were together. “Alright. I’ll stay awake till then.” she told him. Even though she felt she could pass out at any moment, she wasn’t quite sure just how much rest she would get.

“I still can’t help but feel he would have been better off not finding me when Cason and I were kidnapped.” she said, her voice barely audible. “And even now, with me not knowing what I am or what else I’m capable of doing.”
“I’m afraid of hurting him. I’m afraid of hurting you and the others.” she admitted. Esme looked at Dean, the fear of what she could possibly be showing in her eyes. “I almost killed you and Cason tonight because I lost control. If I ever killed you, Duke, Bobby, or one of the others from losing control, I’d never be able to forgive myself.” She took a shuttered breath, wiping away the tears stinging her eyes. “I’m a bomb that no one knows when it will go off.” Esme looked back at the ceiling and closed her eyes. “I’m dangerous. A possible monster…. I know you want me to feel like I’m part of this family, but how can I, and how can you want someone around that could possibly kill that family? Maybe instead of trying to hide somewhere, it’d be better to just lock me up in the basement for everyone’s safety.”

She then brought a hand to her aching head and rested the other on her queasy stomach. The thought of her taking them all out made her sick to her stomach. Esme was genuinely starting to think everyone should keep their distance from her. Esme feared that if she lost control again like she did tonight, the only way to stop her would be to kill her. But she didn’t see any of them being able to do that. She wasn’t even sure Sarah could do it because of how attached she had gotten to her and because Cason told her to keep her safe. Esme was also pretty sure that Sarah wouldn’t disobey Cason’s orders. Then again, if something were to happen to her, which one of the group would contact Sassy? Bobby would most likely be the one to contact her. While she was thinking about her, Esme remembered that she hadn’t checked in with her in a while, which she would have to do soon. She was so lost in her fear of herself and her thoughts she didn’t hear the conversation about her going on between Bobby and Cason. She hardly even heard when Bobby came over to the couch. “That would be me, I guess.” she sighed, as she came out of her thoughts. She looked at him with an apologetic look for her outburst towards Cason.

All Roads Lead To You

Esme

When Duke laughed and made his own comment about their trauma bonding, she laughed, even with him calling this a date. She laughed a little more at his description of himself. ‘So, that’s how you see yourself.’ she thought. But at his thank you, she softly shook her head. “I think we both needed a hug after that conversation. Also, you owe me that drink.” she told him. Talking about the death of parents was a sore subject for her, and she could tell it was for Duke as well. She was still surprised he came out and told her about how his parents had died. She was even more surprised with herself coming out and telling him about her mother and what happened to herself that same day. When Esme brought up Dean, she almost lifted her forehead from Duke’s shoulder as she felt him thinking about her words. She was about to answer when Dean’s voice rang out as if on cue. “Well, guess I jinxed that.” she whispered. When Duke pulled away, Esme stepped to the side and turned to face Dean as he and Duke spoke. Then, he saw the look that Dean had given her.

“Don’t you give me that look, Dean Winchester. I heard you.” Esme told him in a firm tone with a raised eyebrow after wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Like Duke said, our conversation got a little heavy. We both needed comforting, and you weren’t here.” She crossed her arms over her chest, resting her gun on her arm as she looked at Dean. “What should I have done, hugged the fence post or one of the mannequins for comfort?” she asked, gesturing to both as she spoke. “Besides, it was one hug. It’s not like we made out…. Would you rather us be at each other's throats instead of getting along?” Esme understood he was trying to protect her from Duke hurting by bolting when he felt like it, but she couldn’t be cold to the guy. If they were going to be staying at Bobby’s, she had to make an effort to get to know him. Plus, how could she know this little shooting date would end up with them talking about how they lost their parents and end in a hug? She then gave him a look that said, ‘Don’t make me shoot you for being overprotective.’

All Roads Lead To You

Esme

Esme had placed the safety on her gun as she stood there. With her hands as shaky as they were, she knew she could easily set off her gun. She didn’t want to shoot herself in the foot or Duke accidentally. As she breathed, the images worked their way back in, and she could hear her mother’s screaming her mother’s desperate cries to her father for both of them to run. She could see her father fighting to save her mother before the Hellhound came for her. As the memory played out, she vaguely heard Duke speak and step up to her. Esme flinched when wrapped his arms around her, pulling her out of the memory, but she didn’t pull away like she normally would have since it wasn’t Dean comforting her. When he pulled her to his chest, and she felt his hand massaging the back of her head, she rested her forehead on his shoulder, as tears rolled down her cheeks. At his words, Esme wrapped her arms around Duke. “Thank you.” she whispered. As they hugged, she could hear Dean’s words ringing in her ears. She could now see why he gave her his warning about Duke.

With how sweet and friendly Duke was, it would be hard not to get attached to him. And even though they didn’t know each other well, he was easy to talk to. She knew she should be careful with how much she shared with him, but it was just so easy. She also knew that it wasn't like herself to spill things she kept locked up and accept a hug from someone she hardly knew. Even if Duke was labeled as a bolter, she couldn't deny the connection she felt. But she wouldn’t say she was attached yet. As Duke hugged her, she could feel her shaking subsiding and her emotions calming. After a moment, Esme sniffled and sighed softly. “Look at us trauma bonding.” she said with a light laugh. If her forehead weren't pressed to Duke's shoulder, Esme would have shaken it. She always laughed at the idea of trauma bonding, thinking it was a load of crap, yet here it was happening to her. Which she never would have guessed would happen to her. Sniffling again, her thoughts went to Dean and how she had invited him to join them out here. She thought about his reaction to seeing her and Duke hugging and what words would be said, especially after his warning before she came out.

Would he even believe them after they told him that Duke was comforting her after talking about a traumatic event in her life, or would he think Duke was up to something else? There was really no telling for her. She was still trying to figure out how Dean’s mind worked and process his emotions, especially when she had difficulty getting him to open up to her about things. Esme debated whether or not to say something about it, just to lighten the air after such a depressing conversation. She then decided to go with it. “You know? After everything in the kitchen, Dean will probably have a cow if he sees us like this.” she laughed lightly.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

Esme nearly flinched at how fast Duke and Dean reacted to her collapsing. It was like old times with the three of them, but something about this was different. Duke was different. Duke was angry and possibly jealous about Dean stepping in to help her. Yeah, she had felt anger from him before, but never on this level, and it was scary, to say the least. Esme held her breath, hoping nothing would break out between them with all the tension in the room. When Dean got Duke to sit back down, she released the breath she was holding, then looked at Dean as he spoke to her as he prepared to lift her from the floor. As soon as Dean lifted her, she took in a sharp breath, holding in her groan. When Dean looked down at Duke, she looked at him too, matching Dean’s uncomfortable feeling at how angry Duke seemed. When Dean carried her out of the kitchen and to the couch, Esme rested her head on his shoulder. She quietly groaned when Dean laid her on the couch as he and Bobby exchanged words. She turned her head to look at Dean. “I’m so sorry, Dean.” she told him softly.

Whether he realized what she was apologizing for or not, she felt the need to apologize to him. She was apologizing for the trouble she felt she caused him that night. Apologizing for nearly killing him, worrying him, and putting him uncomfortably close to Hellhounds. She went quiet, looking up at the ceiling as she listened to the conversation in the kitchen, shaking her head lightly as she heard what Cason said. ‘Of course, he was able to get info from a demon from the barn.’ she thought. Esme continued to listen and instantly felt sorry for Anna when Cason spoke about her. She knew this was a lot for Anna to process. “Poor girl.” she whispered. She fell silent again, listening to the rest of the conversation and tensing up when Bobby asked why she looked so much worse than Dean and Natalia. When Cason blurted out what Castiel had told them, Esme closed her eyes tight and balled up her fists. “Damn you, Cason!” she called out, bringing a hand to her sore throat with a wince after Mika spoke up. ”I didn’t want that coming out like this! And it wasn’t your place to say anything either!”

“Yes, I know it would have come out eventually, but it was my place to tell them and a little gentler than you just did!” Esme sighed heavily as she laid there on the couch, wanting to punch Cason in the face. Mika’s words didn’t help her mood either. “I don’t know any more about what I am than you do.” she said, not expecting anyone in the kitchen to hear her. “I’ve gone my whole life thinking I was a human and an Empath. Then, one day, I’m able to burn demons by touching them, and then the next, I become a nuke….. I don’t know what the hell I am.” She sighed heavily again, running a hand across her face in frustration and exhaustion. Esme then turned her face away from Dean so it was almost buried into the back of the couch, closing her eyes tightly. “Maybe I would have been better off not coming to check if you were back from the dead. And maybe I’d be better off alone so I don’t continue to hurt everyone I love.” she mumbled into the couch.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

As soon as Esme walked through the door of Bobby’s, and the familiarity of it hit her, she felt safe and could feel herself relaxing. Her eyes instantly fell on Bobby and how he was looking at Duke, like he was a ghost, before he made his way over to them. When Bobby brushed his thumb over her cheek with a fatherly smile, she smiled back warmly. As he moved to Duke and spoke to him, she let go of Duke’s hand, taking a step back, watching as Bobby hugged Duke and looked him over. It wasn't hard to see how much Bobby had missed him and was worried about him. The lack of a smile from Duke as he responded to Bobby, worried her, especially after getting a slight smirk outside moments ago. When Bobby sent Duke to the kitchen, Esme turned her gaze to Bobby, just as he wrapped an arm around her neck and pulled her into him. She quietly whimpered at the action, then wrapped her arm around Bobby, hugging him back. “Yeah, I know. I don’t feel so hot either.” she replied softly with a smile at him calling them idjits. “Missed you too, Bobby.”

Esme then headed to the kitchen after Bobby had let her go. Once in the kitchen, she grabbed a beer from the table and found a place on a wall near Duke. She then took a long drink of her beer, wincing slightly at the soreness in her throat. Leaning against the wall, she crossed her arms in front of her, waiting for the others to file in. She knew that Bobby wasn’t going to let any of them go to bed without looking them over or without hearing what happened that night. It had definitely been one hell of a night for all of them. Esme had zoned out briefly, staring at her beer, when Dean and Bobby came in last, and Bobby spoke, snapping her out of it. Esme wasn’t looking forward to talking about what happened. She didn’t want to relive it. But when Sam spoke first, she closed her eyes and listened to what he told Bobby. Then Natalia chimed in when Sam couldn’t finish. She winced when Natalia said her name and that she was taken because the demons wanted her back at the asylum and to mess with the others. She remained quiet as Natalia spoke.

She felt sorry for the woman. She should have never had to go through all that again. She knew she needed to fill in the rest of the story from her perspective when things fell quiet. She didn’t look up from her beer as she sighed and prepared herself to tell the rest of the story. “After we found Nat had been taken, Mika found items that belonged to Nat and a pamphlet for the asylum. There was a note for me to come back on it. We took Duke to the hospital, and I was the only one they would let in with him. He was in such bad shape they took my blood to give him. But a little later, they came and said he…. Died.” Esme paused for a moment, gripping her beer tighter. “I fell apart, and then Cason showed up to take me to the asylum to help get Nat. I fought my way through the demons, lost control of myself, and found the two demons that tortured me in that hellhole for two years. I killed one before Cason came back for me. When he found me, I was….. Not myself. I was feral. I had lost all control over my emotions.”

“I know I scared the hell out of him with the state I was in. I almost attacked him before the second demon showed up, I killed her, and almost attacked Cason again when Dean showed.” Esme sighed heavily. She didn’t want to tell this part of the story. “I was at the point of going nuclear when Dean showed. He tried to talk me down, but it was too late for me to stop it. I tried to get him to leave, but he refused. I went nuclear and took out the asylum. As it crumbled, hellhounds jumped in and shielded us from the rubble. Castiel showed up and pulled us out of the rubble and healed Dean and Nat. Then we found Duke walking down the road, dazed and confused on our way back to the hospital. He didn’t think Dean and I were real.” Esme felt silent, squeezing her beer until her knuckles turned white. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out to collect herself. Suddenly, her legs gave out, and she collapsed hard to the floor with a groan. She knew it was only a matter of time before her legs finally gave out, but she hoped it would have been near a bed or the couch.

“Tapadh leibh uile!” she breathed, closing her eyes tightly as immense pain washed over her. Opening her eyes, Esme tried to get back on her feet, but couldn’t get her body to cooperate, it felt like a lead weight. It had finally succumbed to the energy drain of her going nuclear. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes as she sat on the floor of the kitchen, shaking from the immense pain that shot through her body from the fall and still hadn’t subsided. Esme dropped her head, trying to breathe through the pain the best she could.

All Roads Lead To You

Esme

When Esme got to the range, and Duke called her sweet pea, she couldn’t help but smile. It was something new. She had never had anyone call her that. If he had already come up with a name for her, did that mean he was already getting comfortable around her, or was that something Duke called all the girls he was around? She shrugged off her thoughts. She couldn’t hold back her laugh when he joked back with her. It may have sounded mean, but it was too funny not to laugh about. “Ah, so I wasn’t imagining that internal struggle.” she laughed. When she asked her question after collecting herself, Esme noticed a change in Duke even though his smile remained. Her smile faded a bit as she watched him look across the yard. She could see she had taken him off guard with her question, so much he had to think before answering her. She watched his actions before he finally spoke. A small smile graced her features when he admitted he mostly just wanted to get to know her and make a new friend. Even though he added, ‘while I’m around, she was perfectly fine with that.

Did that mean he wasn’t planning on sticking around long, as Dean had warned her? Duke sighed and continued, her smile fading at his words. “I may be your shrink, but you don’t ha……” She was cut off by him shooting one of the mannequins, hitting his mark. Esme fell silent as he spoke about the Werewolves and his parents. She never could have imagined he’d tell her about what happened this soon. Her eyes dropped to the gun in her hands after he shot at another target. She knew what it was like losing your parents, or parent in her case, to a monster. When he offered her the targets, Esme pulled the magazine and checked to make sure it was loaded. After popping it back in, she pulled the slide to load a bullet and aimed at a mannequin. She blinked away the tears that were trying to well up in her eyes. She shot the mannequin right between the eyes after Duke finished talking with a heavy sigh. “I’m so sorry, Duke. I know how it feels to lose a parent to a monster you hunt almost daily.” she told him with sorrow heavy in her tone.

Esme aimed at another target, then shot twice, making a slight adjustment in between, hitting a pan and a can. She lowered the gun along with her head, closed her eyes, and sighed through her nose, fighting the tears. Images of her mother flooded her mind and the night she was taken from her, making her want to close in on herself. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, looked up, and looked at Duke, her hands now shaking as well. Her eyes were glassy, with tears threatening to fall. “It was a Hellhound that….. That killed my mother. I was barely.” she said, her voice filled with tears. She looked back at the targets. She hated it when others saw her teary-eyed. “I don’t know why it came for her. She didn’t seem like the person to make deals with demons…. She always said she had everything she could ever want.” Esme lifted her gun once more, doubled-tapping, hitting a mannequin in the chest before letting it drop to her side along with her head, gritting her teeth. “Then it came for me…. It bit me just above the ankle, snapping the bone. It dragged me three miles from home….”

“It roughed me up pretty good before my father was able to catch up. He showed up just before it turned to attack me.” Esme involuntarily shuddered before lifting her head again, looking out over the yard. Every time she saw the scar, she was reminded of that horrific day. Bringing up her left hand, Esme wiped her eyes. She was tempted to put her gun away and walk over to Duke and hug him, but she refrained from doing so. “What are the odds that we would lose parents in almost similar situations and be used as toys by those monsters?” Esme asked after a brief silence. Esme could hardly believe that all came out to Duke, especially since she had never gotten that far into it with Dean. Closing her eyes, she sniffled, then took a deep breath, slowly letting it out to calm herself down.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

Esme listened as everyone got out of the Impala but didn’t take her eyes off Duke as he woke up. The small smile she had on her lips faded when she saw him frown, making her wonder what he was dreaming about. And even though his eyes were open, did he still think he was dreaming? When he rationalized, she softly nodded her head. “Yes, we’re at Bobby’s.” she replied. She let her hand fall from his face as he looked out the window and sat up. Her slight smile returned when he ruffled his hair, a small sign of him being himself. At his gesture, she turned and opened the door and slowly got her sore and stiff body out of the car. Esme stifled a hiss as she stretched a bit, then turned to Duke as he stepped out of the Impala. The smirk she saw playing at the corner of his mouth brought a new smile to her lips as she took his outstretched hand. “You and me both.” Esme responded after Dean agreed. She pulled her gaze from Duke to Mika as she asked her question. “Yes.” she said with a nod at the same time Dean answered.

Before she could turn her attention back to Duke, Sam and Anna pulled in with Sarah coming in behind them. She trotted over and sat next to Esme, who rubbed the back of her hand against her. Esme watched Anna get out of the truck, make a beeline to Cason, hug him, say a few words, and head back to Sam. Before she made it, Esme heard Dean call out to her. The conversation caused her to wince at the harshness, but she couldn't blame Anna. It was Dean who told everyone to leave Cason to die in the barn that night. Pulling her attention back to Duke, giving him a warm, tired smile, and interlocking her fingers with his. “You ready to head in and have Bobby fuss over us?” she asked. “Then we can grab that beer and relax.” She hesitated briefly before walking towards the door. Bobby had never seen her this busted up and tired, except for maybe that night she met Duke. Esme felt she looked a lot worse off than she did that night, and she felt a lot worse too. She thought back to what she did those days.

Yep, today was a lot worse than that day. That day consisted of a handful of demons and four ghosts, two of which gave her hell before she could get their items salted and burned. She unconsciously gripped Duke’s hand tighter as the entire memory invaded her mind. She softly shook her head to clear her thoughts after she brought her free hand up to it. As happy as she was to see Bobby, she felt that she looked like she’d been put through the wringer almost every time she walked through his door. She could only remember a handful of times she had walked through his door unscathed or with only a few scratches and bruises. Esme sighed heavily as they reached the door and then stepped into the house, pulling Duke inside with her.

All Roads Lead To You

Esme

When Esme went to turn, after pulling away from Dean, she stopped and turned back as what he said sunk into her mind. A warm smile graced her lips as she looked at him. “I’ll keep that in mind. I’ve dealt with my fair share of bolters.” she told him. “That’s why it took me a bit to warm up to you fully.” She gave a little laugh to lighten the air. Plus, just the little time she had been around Duke, she felt that he was someone who would run off without warning and stay away for long periods of time. Dean’s warning only drove home what she had assumed. She then walked to the kitchen doorway and stopped, looking back at him. “I hope you do decide to join us….. And don’t think of it as hovering. Think of it as…. Spending time together and having fun on this rare day off.” Without another word, she left Dean in the kitchen and went to collect the guns she wanted to use. She had left her duffle with her weapons at the base of the stairs, from not having the energy to take it anywhere else the night before.

Esme unzipped her duffle, pulled out a smaller bag, and unzipped it. She then removed a few pistols, bullets, and knives from her duffle and placed them in the smaller one. Once satisfied she had what she wanted, she zipped up both, grabbed the smaller bag, and headed for the front door. Each move she made, she had been careful not to aggravate her sore muscles. Esme opened the door, ready to step through, but stopped to look back through the house. “Don’t keep me waiting too long.” she teased. She then walked through the door, closing it behind her. Walking to the steps, she looked out over the yard, seeing Duke in the distance at the range. She then slowly made her way down them and out to the range to meet up with Duke. She walked a little slower than she normally would but eventually made it. Esme took a deep breath and slowly let it out as she stood there, collecting herself for a moment. The walk over took a little more out of her than she thought it would, but she wasn’t about to admit that to Duke or Dean when and if he showed up.

“I actually made it. Can you believe it?” Esme joked. “I could tell he was tempted to stop me.” She laughed softly, then went over to where Duke had placed his duffle, set her bag next to his, and unzipped it. “So, you already know what I’m blowing off steam about. Is there anything this is helping you release, or is it just something to do to pass the time and talk to me?” she asked him, pulling out a pistol from her bag.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

Esme was glad when Duke didn't argue with her about finding answers. But whether he wanted her to or not, she was going to find out how in the hell he cheated death. She had to know what had brought him back to her even though she knew she should let it go and just be happy he was there in her arms. It nagged her from the back of her mind. Other than her giving him her blood, what else happened in the hospital? When Duke returned her hug and pulled her close, Esme winced but didn't let him go. His hug was genuine, telling her she had gotten through to him, and he now knew she was real. It brought her a little relief that she was able to get him to realize that it was a start to bringing him fully back. When he returned her, ‘I love you,’ Esme softly smiled and closed her eyes. The words echoed in her mind as they hugged, but it faded when she felt his guilt. Why was he feeling guilty? She saw nothing that he should feel guilty for unless he was picking up that his demeanor was making them uncomfortable.

For Esme, it was more worry than anything, but she still saw no need for him to feel so guilty about it. Whatever he went through, it must have really shaken him up for him to lose that bright smile and humor. When Duke pulled back to slump in the seat, she opened her eyes and watched him. He had left room for her to snuggle up to him, but it hit her hard when he spoke, making it even harder to hold back her tears. “Sorry?” she repeated. She softly shook her head, then leaned in and kissed his cheek. Then, she settled into the seat and snuggled up to him, resting her hand on his chest. “Don’t apologize, Love.” she softly whispered to him. “You don’t have to apologize for this. Not at all.” Esme fell silent as tears slid down her cheeks from Duke’s apology. The fact that he felt he had to apologize for not smiling or the person they expected him to be bothered her greatly. Yes, they were worried about this new side of him, but that didn’t mean he had to apologize for it. She sighed heavily and snuggled into Duke a little bit more. As tired as she was, she didn’t see herself getting any sleep on the drive to Bobby’s. A little time passed, and the car fell silent.

4 Hours later

As she predicted, Esme didn’t get any sleep on the way to Bobby’s. She was awake the entire four-hour drive while snuggled up to Duke, staring at the back of the front seat. Her thoughts raced with thoughts from Duke to what Valdin had told her before her nuclear moment brought the asylum down and what Castiel had said. Once they figured out how to help Duke, how in the hell would she break the news to Duke about her not being human and being the product of a possible deal? And if he asked what she was, what could she tell him? She had no idea what she was at this point other than an Empath who could become a nuke. She kept being an Empath from him for so long, but how could she keep this from him? Everyone but Duke knew she wasn’t human. They all heard it from Castiel’s mouth. And how would she bring it up to Sassy when she got the chance? She felt she had a lot on her plate right now. She was pulled from her thoughts when the car stopped, and she could see Bobby’s house through the windows.

With a heavy, tired sigh, Esme pulled herself away from the snoring Duke and looked at him. She hated to wake him, but they couldn’t leave him in the car. Reaching over, she brushed his hair from his face before resting her hand on his cheek, rubbing it with her thumb lovingly. “Hey, Love. It’s time to wake up. We’re here.” she said softly but loud enough for him to hear her. She didn’t want to talk too loud and startle him out of his sleep.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

As Esme sat in the backseat clinging to Duke’s arm, her fear for him was growing stronger by the minute. She had been trying to push it from her mind since she realized it was him walking down the road. Sure, it was apparent he was scared and confused when they found him on the road, but she thought he’d be more happy to see them by now. She thought she’d see his bright smile by now and his blue eyes twinkling brightly, but they weren’t. She had never seen him this dark, not even in the most dire situations. It scared the hell out of her to see him in that state of mind, and she knew it was probably showing in her eyes by now. He wasn’t the Duke she had met all those years ago, nor the Duke she had fallen in love with. He had returned to her a different man, as if something inside him was missing. Esme would give anything to see him as she always knew him, to hear him tease one of them. Just a smile would make her feel better. But she could see she wouldn’t get any of that soon.

When the conversation started, Esme pulled her face from Duke’s shoulder but didn’t lift her head from it. It was then she caught Mika staring at Duke, realizing Dean must have told her about Duke dying before they left the field. Cason’s and Duke’s following words made her feel sick; she couldn’t open her mouth to respond, but Dean did. He stopped the conversation cold, not allowing anyone else to discuss it. Esme lifted her eyes to the rearview mirror, watching Dean as he spoke to Duke. The way Duke responded broke her heart more than it already had. He was like a child being scolded. Esme lifted her head from Duke’s shoulder when the conversation of where they should go started. Even before Cason said it, she was thinking about Bobby’s. That was one place where she had always felt safe and comfortable. Her eyes turned to Duke as he broke his silence. She tried to smile but couldn’t. She couldn’t even force one. Before she could respond to Duke, Dean had. It caused her to look back in the rearview mirror. He said something she never thought she'd hear him say to Duke, ‘Snuggle up with your girl.’

It shouldn’t have surprised her, but it did. She and Duke were together now, but it sounded strange coming from Dean’s mouth. Everything else was spot on. When Dean glanced back at Duke, she could see that he felt the same way about Duke as she did; she could also feel it. She would have smiled at Dean’s last words to Duke if she could have. She knew Dean would do anything for Duke, just as she would. Esme looked back at Duke as he responded to Dean in a mutter and gave him a forced smile. This was not her Duke at all. She unwrapped one of her arms from around Duke’s, brought her hand up, and placed it gently on his cheek as she turned towards him, even though it hurt like hell. “Duke?” she said softly. “Duke, please look at me.” She lovingly rubbed her thumb on his cheek, unwrapped her other arm from around his, brushed his hair from his face, and placed it on his other cheek, looking into his eyes. “We will figure all this out…… I promise you, Duke. I won't stop looking until I have the answers…. You hear me? I won't stop looking.”

Esme did her best to drive home what she was saying to him, hoping she was getting through to him. Hoping that some part of him deep down believed what she was telling him. After looking into his eyes for a moment, she gently pulled his face to her and sweetly kissed his forehead. Releasing his face, she wrapped her arms around him, pulled him into her, hugged him, and stroked his hair. “I love you, Bright Eyes.” she softly whispered, hugging him a little tighter and closing her eyes. “I’d do anything for you…. I’d do anything to bring back your bright smile and that twinkle in your eyes.” Esme didn’t care if the others heard her. Everything she was saying to Duke was true and she prayed he knew that. She pressed a soft kiss to his head as she held him to her, fighting the tears that burned at her closed eyes as she continued to stroke his hair. “I’m here. We’ll get through this together. But for now, just rest.” she told him, dropping her voice more. Esme sniffled and opened her eyes and softly sighed. She was terrified she wouldn’t be able to bring him out of this, even with the help of Dean and the others.