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3 yrs ago
Marvel RP seeking new players. roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
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Supernatural RP still looking for players. roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
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Supernatural RP looking for players. roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
3 yrs ago
Vampire Diaries RP looking for players. roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
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Bio

Hey there, I'm Wolvena!
So, after being away from the roleplay world for a while, I'm ready to jump back in. I don't do many 1 on 1's because I tend to struggle to keep it going after a little bit. I normally go with group rps on the smaller side, just because I tend to get a bit lost in larger ones. My go-to genres are animal(mostly wolves), anime, sci-fi, and fantasy, though I'm always up to give something new a try.

Location: Texas
Addictions: Minty chocolate, Wolves, Supernatural Tv Show, Anime
Favorite Quotes:
Even if you think you're alone, even if you think
there's no one else to listen to you. You're not alone.

You are Not making mistakes,
you are Not losing.
You are either Winning or Learning!

Most Recent Posts

Esme

After Esme got what she needed off her chest, she fell silent, listening to Dean and Duke. She sighed softly when he commented on how he knew how people saw him and her heart. It was true she let people in and cared for them, but not all got that treatment from her. There were some people she knew she couldn’t get through to. But the comment about ‘Even if they don’t deserve it’ stood out in her mind. Did they both feel they didn’t deserve the kindness she had shown them or was Duke’s comment directed at Dean? The question slightly faded as she felt Duke was uncomfortable, possibly finding the answer to the question he asked her before Dean came out. Esme knew it had to be hard on him, knowing that Dean told her he was bolter and not to get too attached. She knew he had to feel Dean was trying to keep her away from him. Hell, she felt like he was trying to keep her away from Duke, but that’s a bit impossible when they are all in the same house, and she’s not where she can just get up and go somewhere if she wanted.

Esme was pulled from Duke’s uncomfortable feeling by Dean stepping up behind her, placing a hand on her hip, and pulling her to him, which she didn’t fight against. She closed her eyes as Dean buried his nose in her hair and spoke. Sighing softly, she opened her eyes and looked at the fence post. She was well aware that Dean didn’t do ‘I love you’ and not getting his way, but he also knew that she didn’t do well with being told what to do. Not that his warning about Duke was telling her what to do. Another soft sigh escaped her lips when Dean kissed the back of her head, rested his forehead against her hair, and continued. She brought her left hand up and pinched the bridge of her nose. More space from him isn’t what she wanted, even if she did say she would leave his ass here. She hated hearing him grovel when he knew he had annoyed her. Esme rolled his words around in her mind as she also felt how much Duke was bothered. Duke chiming in about them needing beers pulled her out of her thoughts, and she softly shook her head.

“No.” she said simply. Esme pulled away from Dean and walked over to her bag, placing her gun in it. Then, she finally turned to face Dean with no smile on her lips or in her eyes. “After everything I’ve said to you this morning, do you really think more time alone is what I want or need?” she asked him sternly. “Dammit, Dean!” Esme said under her breath, then turned her back on him once again, looking down into her bag of weapons. “But if you feel like that’s what you should do, go ahead. I won’t stop you.” she told him. She was done with having time alone. If she wanted time alone, she would come right out and say it. She already felt alone enough, with how much her father and other family went off on cases without her. She didn’t want to feel that way with Dean. Esme wished he could see that giving her so much time alone wasn’t always the answer. Running her hand through her hair, she looked up from her bag, sighing through her nose. “Before you do anything, though. You need to fix whatever is going on between you and Duke.”

“I won’t stick around and watch it build and become a brawl between you. I’ve watched it happen enough in my family, and I won’t watch it with you two. So, fix it.” she told him. As much as she cared for Dean and what she could feel Duke could be, she wouldn’t watch the two tear each other apart over built-up emotions they never worked through. Plus, what she could feel between them was starting to be a little too much to handle and making her irritable. Esme needed them to work it out so she could relax and not worry about a fight between them. She wasn’t looking forward to being in the middle of that, even if it wasn’t her place to try and break it up. But she swore to herself she wouldn’t be around if it started to build up to that point. Esme then zipped up her bag, picked it up, and turned to face the boys. “I don’t want to see either of your faces until you work things out. Got it?” she told them, looking them in the eyes. “Don’t even think about coming in and telling me you worked through it when you didn’t. Dean knows better than anyone. I’ll be able to tell if you’re lying.” With that said, Esme walked past them, without another look, and towards the house.
Esme

Esme looked into Duke’s face as he leaned in closer. It was good to see him smiling and having the smile reach his eyes. The state he was in the night before was really worrisome. She slid her hand from her face to rest on her chest as he spoke. She wanted to go and check on him this morning, but after collapsing in the kitchen, throwing her guts up, and then passing out, she didn't quite make it that far. So, him calling her sweet pear and seeing his smiling face with some mischief first thing after waking up did her a little good after being plagued with dreams of bad memories. She stayed quiet as he continued, a slight smirk playing at the corner of her lips at his words. Esme could feel Bobby’s eye roll at Duke’s words to her. “A dream, huh?” she questioned. “Now you’re just being sweet. After what happened this morning and the dream-filled sleep I had. I know I look rough.” She watched Duke as he grinned at Bobby before looking back down at her. This was the Duke she knew and loved more than anything. This was the Duke she had fallen for.

As Duke spoke again, Esme lovingly squeezed his hand as his words reached her ears. Then he leaned forward and gently kissed her nose. She closed her eyes and smiled. It was a gesture she remembered well from when she was still with Dean. It was something that always made her smile when she was upset or in a fair amount of pain. She opened her eyes and looked into Dukes. “I wish I could say I was feeling okay, but I’m feeling pretty rough and sore.” she told him truthfully. “With the lack of a good night's sleep and what happened before I passed out, it’s a wonder I’m even awake right now.” Esme then dropped her eyes to the bandage on Duke’s stomach, and her smile faded. She lifted her hand from her chest and gently brushed her fingers over the bandage. “I wanted to check on you after Bobby patched me up. I didn’t want you to have to stay out in the RV alone. But as you can see, I didn’t make it that far.” Esme fell silent. It was clear she had gone into thought about something, and something she did.

Her thoughts went back to this morning when Bobby asked Dean to get her the glass of whiskey from the kitchen. She could remember how much darker in color the whiskey seemed to be, the foul taste of it, and how sick she got after drinking it. She could even remember how Bobby answered when she told him it might have gone bad. It then hit her like a slap to the face. The whiskey hadn’t gone bad. Bobby had put something in it. But what? What could he have possibly put in the whiskey that made her so sick? She just might have to confront him about it later. After a moment, Esme shook herself from her thoughts and looked back into Duke’s eyes. “I think some aspirin and some of that coffee I smell will work wonders if you get it. I’m not in much of a trusting mood for anything Bobby gives me after this morning.” she told Duke softly. She then moved her hand from his stomach and gently placed it on his cheek, rubbing it lovingly with her thumb. “But more importantly, how are you feeling, my sweet Cowboy?” she asked with concern in her blue eyes.
Esme

Esme slept her day away, dreaming about things that happened in her life and things that could possibly come to pass that were joyful and scared the hell out of her. Her dreams soon became a jumbled mess. Hunts with her father, Sassy, and the guys started interweaving as if it all happened together. She could only remember once, maybe twice, when she and the guys hunted with her father, not counting the day she met Dean. Sassy never joined them on any hunts but would help over the phone whenever they needed her. In fact, Duke, Dean, and Bobby never had the chance to meet Sassy face to face. Esme never told them much about her except that she was her godmother, didn’t live far from her childhood home, and was well-versed in supernatural things. There was always one thing about her that she kept secret from them, not really knowing how they would take the news. Also, there never seemed to be a good time to bring it up, and the guys never really pressed her on anything involving her, but knowing Bobby, he more than likely had figured it out on his own.

After a while, the memory dreams sorted out and played like a movie, playing all her best and worst moments without the guys in her life. Times she got out of hunts within an inch of her life, and others where she came out with hardly a scratch. Esme relived moments when she met other hunters, and they helped each other get through a hunt, shared a beer or two, and parted ways. She even relived the ones that didn’t turn out so well, either by the hunter dying or being completely put out by her showing up or trying to kill her. There were plenty of hunters out there who didn’t like anyone in her family and wanted nothing to do with any member of the family. Many other hunters had tried to get many of them killed by giving false tips about a case they came upon or wanted to kill them themselves. The Stirling family had a dark stain on their name, all because of how her mother had died. That was one reason she tended to give a false last name to other hunters she came across. She would either give her last name as Vespertine or Blackstone for her safety and to keep things peaceful.

Later that evening

Esme’s dreams went completely dark that evening. She relived when she met up with a small group of hunters in their early to mid-twenties. Even though they were young, she still told them that her last name was Vespertine, just in the off chance they had heard the last name, Stirling. After she had saved their asses from a nest of Vampires, the five of them hit it off and became quick friends. Esme gave them lessons and pointers on hunting, and they even showed her a few new tricks they had come across on their own. She had stayed with the group for months, finally feeling like she had found a group she could call her family again. But it wasn’t to last. Before she saw the signs, it was too late. She had gotten too close to the four and missed all the signs that demons had taken them over. The demons must have been watching them for a while because they had their personalities and mannerisms down to a T. If only she had used her Empathy, things wouldn’t have gone south so fast. After a hunt, they all returned to the hotel to clean up and go out for drinks.

But that’s where things went wrong. Once in her room, Esme set her gun and knife on the nightstand and, gathered some fresh clothes, and started to clean up so she wouldn’t scare anyone she came across, but before she could get changed, the door was broken off its hinges, causing her to turn around and look at the door. “Bradley! What the hell!” Esme yelled. Bradley grinned, and his eyes turned black. “Sorry, Sweets. I’m afraid Bradley’s been dead for some time now.” he grinned. “As have Lily, Nathan, and Tasia.” As he spoke their names, they came into the room, all flashing their black eyes at her and grinning widely. “I was almost sure you would catch on to us sooner. Oh well. It was still fun while it lasted.” he laughed. “You bastards!” she yelled. Esme had taken a fighting stance, looking between the four demons and then to the nightstand. Esme took a dive for the bed, but she was stopped and thrown against a wall by the demo’s power. “Yeah, I don’t think so, Sweets.” he was walking over to her. “Now, why don’t you be a good girl and come with us quietly?” “Never!” Esme groaned from the floor.

She plunged her hand into her pocket to grab a handful of salt but was thrown against the wall again, then thrown across the room, smashing into the dresser and television. Demons Lily and Tasia came over, picked her up, dragged her to the center of the room, and threw her down hard. “Still want to do things the hard way?” demon Bradley asked. Esme pushed herself up on her hands and knees, only to be kicked by demon Nathan in the stomach. Esme grunted and fell back to the floor. She then used her Empathy, projecting fear on the four as she got to her hands and knees again. “I’m not going anywhere with you.” she yelled. Then things went dark. She was hit in the head by some blunt object. When she came to, she found herself in a dimly lit room that was damp and cold, strapped to a gurney. Even though groggy, Esme struggled against her restraints, realizing she was in cut-off sweatpants and a sports bra. “Ah, you’re finally awake.” came a male voice from behind her. She could hear footsteps coming toward her, and then a face came into her view with black eyes.

“My, you really are a pretty one. Such a shame.” he cooed as his eyes went normal. “Let me go, you black-eyed son of a bitch!” Esme yelled at him. “No, I don’t think I will. We have plans for you, Miss Stirling.” he grinned. He brought his hand up and bushed Esme’s cheek with the back of his fingers, causing Esme to jerk her head away from his hand, which made him grin more. Esme then used her Empathy on him. His eyes went black, and a scowl came upon his face. “Now, there will be none of that.” he said, then punched her in the face. She pulled her face back, looking at him with a glare. “We’ll see how much fight you have left once a few others get done with you.” he sneered. He stepped away, and she looked at the door as others walked into the room. “Have fun with her, Morana, but don’t kill her.” he said to those who walked in. “Don’t worry, Valdin. I’ll stop before it gets that far.” Morana answered with a grin. Morana and her henchmen quickly got to work, bombarding her with questions that didn’t make sense, cutting, carving, and beating her until she passed out.

They tortured her every day, only stopping when she would pass out. Once she was good and weak, they began wheeling her out of her room, down the halls, and into another room, where they hooked all sorts of things up to her and injected her with needles filled with strange-colored liquids. Esme’s dream caused her to relive each day of the two years she was trapped in the asylum. She relived each punch, stab, cut, broken bone, near drowning, and injunction all over again. She even caught a glimpse of one of them helping her occasionally. Then came the day when she heard the demons panicking that hunters had found them. The demons that were in her room fled and shut the door behind them. In Esme’s weak state, all she could do was listen as the hunters went through the asylum, killing the demons and getting whatever it was they came for, which turned out it wasn’t her. They never found her in the secret room she was put in because she was too weak to scream for help that was loud enough to hear. When all went silent, Esme laid on the gurney and cried.

She knew the demons would be back for her, and it would start all over, or they would leave her there to starve and die alone. Suddenly, the door of the room opened. Esme turned her head to look but could only make out a silhouette. “Help me!” she called weakly. “Don’t worry, help is coming!” a male voice called back to her. They then disappeared, and it all fell silent again. Esme looked at the ceiling and closed her eyes, tears falling from them. “Who’s coming? No one knows I’m even here.” she whispered tearfully. A little time passed before Esme could hear footsteps running down the hall. She opened her eyes and looked at the door. “I’m in here!” she called as loud as she could. “Esme! Can you hear me? Esme!” a woman’s voice called out. “Sassy?! I’m here!” Esme called out again. The woman soon came through the door, followed by a handful of others, and Esme broke into tears. “Sassy!” she cried. She ran over to Esme, undid the straps holding her down to the gurney, and helped her sit up. One of the men who came with her came over and gently draped a jacket around Esme’s shaking shoulders.

“Thank you.” Esme whispered as Sassy hugged her. Esme hugged her back, watching the others keep an eye out for any more demons. “Seraphina, we should get out of here before more show up. There’s no telling how many that first group missed.” Seraphina nodded and pulled herself away to look at Esme, a soft smile on her lips. “Let’s get you out of here and take you home.” Seraphina said warmly. Esme nodded with a weak smile. The man who gave her a jacket stepped over, gently picked her up off the gurney, and carried her out of the room with Seraphina and the others following. The dream faded and went into something new. Esme found herself in a place she had never been before, but it strongly resembled the room from the asylum, and she was strapped down to a gurney so tightly that it was hard to breathe. She looked around the room, seeing a figure in the shadows. “Who are you?” Esme demanded. The figure laughed darkly, flashing a smile that almost seemed to glow in the dim light. “Oh, you know who I am, sweet one.” he said in a low growly tone.

Esme knew that voice, which sent a shiver down her spine as her eyes widened. She never learned his name, but he terrified her. “Ah, so you do remember. Good.” he cooed. “Don’t even bother asking why I brought you here. You know full well why you’re here. We’re going to finish what we started all those years ago.” he said with a grin as he came out of the shadows. Esme's eyes grew into saucers as he came into view. She couldn’t even fight against her restaurants. “You’ve grown so strong, but I think I can make you stronger. Now, be a good girl, and I’ll give you something special after we’re done.” he told her. Esme was plunged into a scene where she was hooked up to machines by tubes and demons all around the room. “Alright, let’s get started!” she heard the demon call out. Esme fought against her restaurants, but they were so tight she couldn’t move. As soon as the liquid from the tubes entered her veins, she screamed. It felt like they were injecting her with acid. “Don’t fight it, sweet one. It’ll only make it burn more.” the demon told her with a hearty laugh.

When Esme felt she couldn’t take the pain any longer and would pass out, the pain and room faded away. She found herself outside a building that looked oddly familiar. She was with the group, and they were heading in on what looked like a routine hunt for what she didn’t know. After entering the building, they were ambushed by demons and separated into small groups. The more demons she killed, the more that seemed to show up and take their place. She was growing tired and irritable as time passed. Esme could feel herself getting dangerously close to her breaking point, then it finally happened, like flipping a switch. She got to the point of going nuclear, and she couldn’t control it as she fell to her knees. There was no way the others would have time to get out, even if they heard her scream to get out. “Duke, run! Now!” she yelled at him. He hesitated, looking at her, worry and fear in his blue eyes as he looked into her bright white eyes. “Go! Now!” she yelled at him again, struggling to hold by the explosion. Esme watched as Duke ran out of the room they were in, but as soon as he was out of her sight, she lost her hold.

Esme’s head went back, and she took in a breath and screamed as she went nuclear. But this time was different from the last ones. When she breathed in, everything was sucked in towards her, then blown outward when she screamed. The blast tore through the building, leveling it. All the debris had been blown away from her. Collecting herself, she looked around her and the damage, and her eyes widened in horror at the sight before her. She scrambled to her feet with tears in her eyes. “No!” she screamed. Esme brought her hands up to her mouth as she looked on in horror at the bodies of the group, none of them moving. Starting with Duke, she ran to each of them to check them. They were all dead. She had killed them. She ran back over to Duke, dropping to her knees beside him, picked up his hand, and held it to her cheek. “I’m sorry, Duke.” she cried. “I’m so so sorry, all of you.” Pulling Duke’s hand to her chest, she looked up at the sky and screamed another, “I’m sorry.” That last sorry came through in the waking world as she jolted awake on the couch.

Esme's eyes snapped open, her heart racing as she looked around, and her fuzzy vision clearing. The familiar surroundings and smell reminding her she was at Bobby’s, she was home, and she was safe. It took her a moment to realize someone was on the couch with her, holding her hand. She looked at her hand, seeing it was, in fact, being held. She knew that touch. She knew it was Duke sitting next to her, holding her hand. Esme gave his hand a gentle squeeze before she brought her other hand up to her face as she closed her eyes. The image of seeing everyone dead because of her was still fresh in her mind. Esme sighed heavily through her nose, griping Duke’s hand a little tighter, realizing how badly her head was pounding. She didn’t want to move. Her whole body was sore, but she knew she would have to get up eventually. She opened one eye and finally looked at Duke. “Hey there, Bright Eyes.” she whispered.
Esme

After Dean brushed the hair from Esme’s face and tucked it behind her ear, she nuzzled her head against him with a small sigh. Then, the next round of dreams began. First came a memory of when she, Duke, and Dean took on a nest of Vampires. It was only supposed to be four, but it turned out to be more like ten, plus the three people they were keeping as their own personal blood bags. They made a game out of it to keep themselves on their toes and engaged. Whoever killed the least out of the three would have to buy the other two a couple of beers. That night, Duke had the privilege of buying the drinks after the hunt. He wasn’t too happy about it either and accused them both of cheating and working together, which was far from the truth. The next memory was when they got tangled up with a couple of Shifters. After finally tracking them down, the Shifters separated the group. When they met back up, the Shifters had taken the forms of Dean and Duke and tried to confuse her on which were the real ones. After screaming at them to shut up, it wasn’t hard for her to know which were the real Dean and Duke.

She put a bullet in each of the Shifter's heads and let the boys take care of the rest. That day messed with her head for a while. Even though she knew it wasn’t them that she shot, the moment haunted her dreams. She also hoped she would never have to go through something like that again. Esme then found herself in her childhood home, sitting at the dinner table with her parents. She was nine, almost ten. They were talking and laughing, discussing plans for her upcoming birthday. That was until her mother began to act strangely. Her father was concerned, but Esme was scared of how her mother was acting. Her father stood from his chair, rushed to her mother's side, and took her face into his hands. “Evvy? What's wrong?” he asked her, concerned. “I don't know, but something isn't right.” she cried. Her parents began to whisper, causing Esme to become more scared. “Daddy? Is Mama okay?” Esme asked. Her father turned and gave a small smile. “Don’t worry, My Little Wolf. She'll be fine.” her father replied. Esme watched her father look back at her mother, knowing he was lying, but was too young to understand why.

A little later, Esme saw her mother jump and look to the door with terror-filled eyes. “Mama? What’s wrong.” Esme asked in a fearful tone and tear-filled eyes. Her mother said nothing. She continued to stare at the front door, and then suddenly, there was a bang against it, followed by the sound of scratching and growling. Esme jumped out of her chair and ran over to her parents, hugging her father. He wrapped a protective arm around her, staring at the front door. “What is it, Daddy?” she asked, clinging to him. Before he could answer, her mother spoke up. “Wesley, take Esme and run.” she cried. “No! I’m not leaving you with that thing!” he told her. “You have to! She needs you, Wesley. Take her and run! Now!” “Mama, no! You have to come with us!” Esme cried. Evelyn smiled warmly at Esme, tears in her eyes, and rested a hand on her cheek. “It’ll be okay, Esme. Go with your father…. I love you.” she told Esme. I’ll hold it off for as long as I can so you can get out.” Evelyn said, looking at Wesley. “Love you too, Mama.” Esme told her mother as she let go of her father and hugged her tightly.

Wesley pulled Esme away from Evelyn and turned her to face him. “Run to our safe place. I’ll be right behind you. Okay?” he told her. Esme nodded and did as she was told. She ran to her father’s office. Before she crossed the threshold, she heard the door break, followed by deep growls and barking. Then a man's voice asks, ‘Where’s the girl? I want her too.’ Esme could hear her parents telling the man they’d never have her. When Esme reached the secret space in her father’s office, she could hear the fight, her mother screaming, and her father yelling for her mother. Tears streamed down Esme’s cheeks. Instead of doing as she was told, she found one of her father’s guns and ran back to the fight. She pointed the gun at the man standing over her father and shot the man in the back. “Esme! Run!” Wesley yelled at her. But it was too late. The Hellhound knocked her down, causing her to drop the gun, and then bit her just above the ankle, snapping the bone. Esme screamed in pain and looked down at her leg. The Hellhound came into view, as did her mother’s shredded body, causing Esme to scream in terror. Her father had never told her about them.

“Good. You know where to take her.” The man told the Hellhound. Esme was then dragged from the house, calling to her father for help. As she was dragged from the house, she could hear gunshots and screams over her screaming as she was dragged into the woods next to her home. The more she screamed and tried to get away, the more the Hellhound would thrash her about, drag her through something, or run her into things. Esme had been dragged three miles from her home before the Hellhound had had enough of her screaming and struggling. It stopped and turned on her, ready to silence her, even though she was barely conscious and only crying. It was then her father finally caught up with them in his car. Seeing her father's car, Eame tried to pull her battered body away from the Hellhound, but when she heard her father yell over the engine of the car not to move, she stopped. Wesley punched the gas and ran over the Hellhound. Knowing where it was by its breath in the cold night air. Her memory faded with Wesley getting out of the car, finishing off the Hellhound, rushing to her side, holding her close, and whispering that he was there, he had her, and it was over.
Esme

Esme watched Dean as he reacted to her scolding and what she had said next. She caught Duke’s movements from the corner of her eye like he was getting ready for a show to unfold before his eyes. She then listened as Dean began to talk, taking in his words, causing her to sigh and shake her head. Did he really think she could be charmed or manipulated that easily by someone? When Duke spoke, Esme leaned against the fence post, looking at the ground, and let the two hash it out, taking it all in. When Duke called out Dean about being afraid he was going to run off with her, she looked up, watching Dean as he answered. ‘Lier.’ she thought. How could he possibly think she wouldn’t fight, even in her state, if Duke had tried such a thing? She knew Dean was super protective of her, but this was wild. It showed her another side of Dean, making her feel like she would have to walk on eggshells whenever Duke was around. She sighed heavily as Duke turned the conversation to her. She caught the glimmer of mischief in his eyes as he looked at her.

Esme uncrossed her arms and turned her back on both boys, then rested her arms on the fence and leaned against her arms with a sigh through her nose before looking out across the yard. “Start over, huh?” she started, her tone holding no emotion. “I’m half tempted just to call it done and take Duke up on his drink offer. Leaving your ass here.” She held her gun, looked down at it briefly, and released the safety. “You’ve already started digging yourself a hole that’s going to be hard getting out of.” she told him. She straightened and took aim at a mannequin and fired twice, the first shot hitting the heart and the second hitting between its eyes. “You’ve made it clear you think I can be easily manipulated and charmed by someone I’ve just met and that you think I can just be whisked away.” Esme had planned to go along with Duke, making a joke out of everything, but the more she thought about it, the more upset it made her. It felt like Dean didn’t trust her, or he was just letting his intrusive thoughts get the better of him. Esme took another shot, hitting a pan dead center this time.

Setting the safety on her gun, she leaned against the fence again, looking at the ground. “I’m not a child, Dean. Even in this shape, I can take care of myself. I know you’re concerned and want to protect me, but I’m more than capable of taking care of myself…. I wish you could trust me in that.” Esme lifted her head and looked at all the targets in the yard. She softly shook her head. “Do you honestly think I’d ever do anything to hurt or worry you purposely?” she asked him. Running her left hand through her hair, she looked toward the garage, wondering if she should just go and hang out with Bobby in the garage for a while or just go inside and lock herself in the guest room. Both options sounded pretty nice at the moment. With all the bickering and Dean’s over-protectiveness for her toward Duke, she felt that rest would be hard to come by.
Esme

As Esme made her way out of Bobby’s office, she struggled to stay on her feet, even by grabbing anything she could to keep her somewhat upright. She didn’t even hear the words exchanged between Dean and Bobby while she was in the office. When Esme saw Dean running over, she stopped and sighed in relief for his help getting back to the couch. She smiled weakly at his words, but everything went dark as soon as his arm went around her waist. Exhaustion and her injuries finally won out, knocking her out cold. Esme didn’t feel Dean hoist her off the floor and carry her over to the couch, sit on the edge of it, and move her so Bobby could look at her head. She didn’t even hear the scolding Dean gave Bobby. Esme was plunged into memories of times when it was just her, Dean, and Duke, The Three Musketeers. They started with the first time she met Duke and how she pushed him into his chair from her rage from her lousy day and Dean's state. Then, it faded to the next day when she and Duke went out to the range to shoot. They talked about how they had lost their parents and hugged to comfort each other, only to have Dean come out a little huffy about it.

Esme's dreams then became a reel of all their greatest moments together, with every case ending with them finding the monster, dealing with it, and saving an innocent person who had been tangled up in a bad situation. They may have come out of it worse for wear, but they came out alive. Most of the time, they came back to Bobby’s, and he would help them patch each other up, sit back, and listen to everything they went through over drinks. A few of their worst moments they had slipped through the cracks, where one or two of them came out by the skin of their teeth. Dean and Duke, being the main two, feeling they had to step in and protect Esme at all costs in those situations, even if she was capable of fighting off the monster or ghost on her own, leaving her to drag them back to the car and drive them to a motel or Bobby’s to get patched up. Tears escaped her closed eyes as Esme slept, dreaming about the past.

Esme’s dreams shifted back in the other direction, showing her a memory she remembered well and cherished deeply. She found herself in the bar just down the road from Bobby’s, but she was watching from the sidelines instead of reliving it through her own eyes. They had just finished a case and had gotten through it with only a few scratches and minor bruises. The three of them had walked in, Esme in the middle, with her arms linked with Dean and Dukes. After putting in their drink orders, they sat at a table near the karaoke stage. As they waited for their drinks, they joked, laughed, and threw playful jabs at each other. When the beers made it to the table and thanked the waitress, Esme took a long drink before standing up and getting looks from Dean and Duke that said, ‘Where are you going?’ She gave a look back that said, ‘You’ll see.” with a grin on her face. “Don’t touch my beer.” she joked warmly. Without another word, she walked away from the table to the karaoke stage and spoke to the DJ. After receiving a nod, Esme walked up to the microphone and looked at the boys. “This one’s for you two.” she smiled warmly as the music began to play.

We will call his place our home
The dirt in which or roots may grow
Though the storms will push and pull
We will call this place our home

We’ll tell our stories on these walls
Every year, measure how tall
And just like a work of art
We’ll tell our stores on these walls

Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind
Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide
Settle our bones like wood over time, over time
Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine

A little broken, a little new
We are the impact and the glue
Capable more than we know
To call this fixer upper home

With each year, our color fades
Slowly our paint chips away
But we will find the strength
And the nerve it takes
To repaint and repaint and repaint every day

Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind
Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide
Settle our bones like wood over time, over time

Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine
Let the year we’re here be kind, be kind
Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide
Settle our bones like wood over time, over time

Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine
Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine

Smaller than dust on this map
Lies the greatest thing we have
The dirt in which our roots may grow
And the right to call it home

As the dream played out, Esme mumbled some of the song's lyrics in her sleep, and a couple more tears escaped her closed eyes. The dream faded as she bowed to the crowd and made her way off the stage and back to the table with Dean and Duke. Then, she fell into a more profound and slightly more peaceful sleep.
Esme

Before Bobby came over to the couch, Esme listened to Dean as he spoke to her. She knew he wouldn’t like the idea of putting her in the basement or that she called herself a monster. As he continued, more tears stuck in the corners of her eyes, and she slightly looked over at him. When he told her that her not being human scared him, she tensed up but didn’t relax when he said she was human enough. Esme nodded at the end of his speech when he paused, hearing Bobby’s footsteps approaching. He was right. Bobby’s was the best place she could be while she figured this out. Bobby’s home was her home, too, and he was also her family. When Dean pinched her chin, a light smile came to her lips at the familiar gesture. It would always make her smile and listen to what he had to say back in the day. She tilted her head toward him as he spoke, taking in every word that left his lips. “Together.” she said softly. As much as that made her feel better, she wondered how Duke would handle it after his reaction moments ago. Though she knew he would help her, too, once he was back to himself again.

She sighed softly as she looked at Dean. “I’ll keep fighting.” she told him softly before Bobby stepped up to the couch. Esme watched Dean scoot back to give Bobby room just as Bobby told her to sit up. With some difficulty and a hiss, Esme was able to sit herself up on the couch, sitting in a position that would make it easy for Bobby to look at her head. When Bobby returned and sat on the couch, she tried to relax as much as possible. When Bobby asked Dean to get a glass of whiskey, and looked off in the distance. She wasn’t much of a whiskey drinker but figured she’d need it for this. As Bobby parted her hair, she winced at how tender her head was around the gash. Esme laughed a little as Bobby gave her the good and bad news, then looked up at Dean as he handed her the glass of whiskey. “Stained hair is the least of my worries.” she replied. She looked at the glass of whiskey in her hands, noticing how it looked a little darker than usual. She couldn’t help but silently question it as she looked at it.

“Game of operation. Good one, Bobby.” she lightly laughed. Esme lifted the glass to her lips and quickly downed it in one go, scrunching up her nose and giving a couple of coughs. “Woah, I think that bottle’s gone bad, Bobby.” she coughed. She may not have been much for the harder stuff, but she did drink it occasionally, so she knew what it should and shouldn’t taste like, which didn’t taste right. It tasted horrible. She started feeling off as she sat there waiting for the whiskey to work its magic. It started in her already queasy stomach, becoming a disturbing sick feeling, then slowly moved its way up to her throat. Esme rested a hand on her stomach as she sat there, fighting against the ill feeling creeping up on her. “I think I’m going to be sick.” she said, bringing her free hand to her mouth. No sooner than she got the words out of her mouth, she jumped up from the couch and bolted to Bobby’s office, just barely weaving around Dean. In Bobby’s office, she dropped to her knees at the trash can next to his desk, positioned her head over it, and got sick.

Esme lost everything in her stomach and then some. Just when she thought she was done and nothing more could come up, another round would start. She couldn’t ever remember getting this sick before, not even as a kid. She chalked up to her body being over-exerted. When she knew she wouldn’t get sick anymore, Esme pushed the trash can away, pulled a bandana from her pocket to wipe her mouth, and slumped against Bobby’s desk, feeling her eyelids becoming heavy. She felt even weaker and more tired than before now. Her stomach ached, her head was pounding, and her throat felt like it was on fire. She tried to get her body to move to get back to the couch, but it felt like jello. “Tapadh leibh uile.” she breathed. “Chan ann a-rithist.” Esme could feel her eyes closing on her the longer she sat there on the floor of Bobby’s office. She fought against it and forced herself to her feet, leaning against Bobby’s desk briefly. Then, she slowly started making her way back to the couch, using anything she could to steady herself.
Esme

Esme slightly flinched when Bobby scolded them all for yelling and bickering. She couldn’t help it. Cason blurting out just made her so mad. She should have been the one to break the news about it. She also didn’t realize that Anna and Sam went outside or that Mika took Duke out of the kitchen. After Esme mumbled her words, she regretted it. She didn’t mean to hurt Dean with her words. That was the last thing she wanted. But it was how she felt. If she hadn’t needed to check if Dean had come back, she wouldn’t have had to deal with Cupid, demons kidnapping her and Cason, and Duke would have never found her there. There was a chance he would have never gone to that barn and been stabbed and died. Dean’s words caused her to pull her face back to look up at the ceiling again. “I noticed.” she started in a whisper. Yes, I know he would be.” Esme sighed quietly as Dean continued, his words bringing back memories of when he would say something similar when they were together. “Alright. I’ll stay awake till then.” she told him. Even though she felt she could pass out at any moment, she wasn’t quite sure just how much rest she would get.

“I still can’t help but feel he would have been better off not finding me when Cason and I were kidnapped.” she said, her voice barely audible. “And even now, with me not knowing what I am or what else I’m capable of doing.”
“I’m afraid of hurting him. I’m afraid of hurting you and the others.” she admitted. Esme looked at Dean, the fear of what she could possibly be showing in her eyes. “I almost killed you and Cason tonight because I lost control. If I ever killed you, Duke, Bobby, or one of the others from losing control, I’d never be able to forgive myself.” She took a shuttered breath, wiping away the tears stinging her eyes. “I’m a bomb that no one knows when it will go off.” Esme looked back at the ceiling and closed her eyes. “I’m dangerous. A possible monster…. I know you want me to feel like I’m part of this family, but how can I, and how can you want someone around that could possibly kill that family? Maybe instead of trying to hide somewhere, it’d be better to just lock me up in the basement for everyone’s safety.”

She then brought a hand to her aching head and rested the other on her queasy stomach. The thought of her taking them all out made her sick to her stomach. Esme was genuinely starting to think everyone should keep their distance from her. Esme feared that if she lost control again like she did tonight, the only way to stop her would be to kill her. But she didn’t see any of them being able to do that. She wasn’t even sure Sarah could do it because of how attached she had gotten to her and because Cason told her to keep her safe. Esme was also pretty sure that Sarah wouldn’t disobey Cason’s orders. Then again, if something were to happen to her, which one of the group would contact Sassy? Bobby would most likely be the one to contact her. While she was thinking about her, Esme remembered that she hadn’t checked in with her in a while, which she would have to do soon. She was so lost in her fear of herself and her thoughts she didn’t hear the conversation about her going on between Bobby and Cason. She hardly even heard when Bobby came over to the couch. “That would be me, I guess.” she sighed, as she came out of her thoughts. She looked at him with an apologetic look for her outburst towards Cason.
Esme

When Duke laughed and made his own comment about their trauma bonding, she laughed, even with him calling this a date. She laughed a little more at his description of himself. ‘So, that’s how you see yourself.’ she thought. But at his thank you, she softly shook her head. “I think we both needed a hug after that conversation. Also, you owe me that drink.” she told him. Talking about the death of parents was a sore subject for her, and she could tell it was for Duke as well. She was still surprised he came out and told her about how his parents had died. She was even more surprised with herself coming out and telling him about her mother and what happened to herself that same day. When Esme brought up Dean, she almost lifted her forehead from Duke’s shoulder as she felt him thinking about her words. She was about to answer when Dean’s voice rang out as if on cue. “Well, guess I jinxed that.” she whispered. When Duke pulled away, Esme stepped to the side and turned to face Dean as he and Duke spoke. Then, he saw the look that Dean had given her.

“Don’t you give me that look, Dean Winchester. I heard you.” Esme told him in a firm tone with a raised eyebrow after wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Like Duke said, our conversation got a little heavy. We both needed comforting, and you weren’t here.” She crossed her arms over her chest, resting her gun on her arm as she looked at Dean. “What should I have done, hugged the fence post or one of the mannequins for comfort?” she asked, gesturing to both as she spoke. “Besides, it was one hug. It’s not like we made out…. Would you rather us be at each other's throats instead of getting along?” Esme understood he was trying to protect her from Duke hurting by bolting when he felt like it, but she couldn’t be cold to the guy. If they were going to be staying at Bobby’s, she had to make an effort to get to know him. Plus, how could she know this little shooting date would end up with them talking about how they lost their parents and end in a hug? She then gave him a look that said, ‘Don’t make me shoot you for being overprotective.’
Esme

Esme had placed the safety on her gun as she stood there. With her hands as shaky as they were, she knew she could easily set off her gun. She didn’t want to shoot herself in the foot or Duke accidentally. As she breathed, the images worked their way back in, and she could hear her mother’s screaming her mother’s desperate cries to her father for both of them to run. She could see her father fighting to save her mother before the Hellhound came for her. As the memory played out, she vaguely heard Duke speak and step up to her. Esme flinched when wrapped his arms around her, pulling her out of the memory, but she didn’t pull away like she normally would have since it wasn’t Dean comforting her. When he pulled her to his chest, and she felt his hand massaging the back of her head, she rested her forehead on his shoulder, as tears rolled down her cheeks. At his words, Esme wrapped her arms around Duke. “Thank you.” she whispered. As they hugged, she could hear Dean’s words ringing in her ears. She could now see why he gave her his warning about Duke.

With how sweet and friendly Duke was, it would be hard not to get attached to him. And even though they didn’t know each other well, he was easy to talk to. She knew she should be careful with how much she shared with him, but it was just so easy. She also knew that it wasn't like herself to spill things she kept locked up and accept a hug from someone she hardly knew. Even if Duke was labeled as a bolter, she couldn't deny the connection she felt. But she wouldn’t say she was attached yet. As Duke hugged her, she could feel her shaking subsiding and her emotions calming. After a moment, Esme sniffled and sighed softly. “Look at us trauma bonding.” she said with a light laugh. If her forehead weren't pressed to Duke's shoulder, Esme would have shaken it. She always laughed at the idea of trauma bonding, thinking it was a load of crap, yet here it was happening to her. Which she never would have guessed would happen to her. Sniffling again, her thoughts went to Dean and how she had invited him to join them out here. She thought about his reaction to seeing her and Duke hugging and what words would be said, especially after his warning before she came out.

Would he even believe them after they told him that Duke was comforting her after talking about a traumatic event in her life, or would he think Duke was up to something else? There was really no telling for her. She was still trying to figure out how Dean’s mind worked and process his emotions, especially when she had difficulty getting him to open up to her about things. Esme debated whether or not to say something about it, just to lighten the air after such a depressing conversation. She then decided to go with it. “You know? After everything in the kitchen, Dean will probably have a cow if he sees us like this.” she laughed lightly.
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