Wolvena

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

When Esme sat on the bed, and her stomach growled, she saw the frown appear on Duke’s face before she asked him to raid the kitchen. Knowing Duke, he’d be fine with some whiskey to hold him off until morning. She could do that too, but with everything that had happened, she needed something solid in her stomach before going to sleep; otherwise, she’d be feeling quite sick in the morning when she woke. That wasn’t something either of them needed to wake up to, especially Duke, who was being so protective of her now. Esme knew he’d never let her leave the RV without a fight if she woke up sick from not eating. The thought made her laugh inwardly. Her smile then grew as he answered her request to raid the kitchen and went to order her not to fall asleep before she read his mind, and he nodded. She knew him well enough to know that those would have been the next words out of his mouth. “Thank you, Love.” she told Duke as he turned and opened the door. Esme didn’t move until he was down the steps, and he closed the RV door behind him.

Taking to her feet, Esme walked over to where she hung her jacket, pulled her phone from one of its pockets, and then walked back to the bed. Before getting on the bed, she unbuckled her belt, undid her pants, and slipped out of them, leaving them in a pile on the floor. She then crawled up on the bed and got under the covers but didn’t lay down, knowing if she did, she’d be out like a light as soon as her head hit the pillow. She also needed a shower but was far too tired even to attempt to take one. Esme crossed her legs in front of her, placed her hands in her lap with her phone, and looked around the RV momentarily, taking in everything about it. Most of it she remembered from back in the day, but some things seemed new or things she had missed. “How did I miss that?” she asked herself aloud with a laugh as her eyes fell on a picture of her, Duke, and Dean. Pulling her eyes away from the picture, they soon fell onto two masquerade masks, and Esme couldn’t stop the grin that came to her lips.

“I can’t believe he kept those.” She was tempted to get out of bed and pick them up but was too tired to get out of the bed. As she stared at the masks, the memory of the night came to her mind and swallowed her. Esme could still picture every moment and the music that played in the background. She wore a tight purple dress trimmed in gold that matched her mask, and both boys wore tuxedos. Duke’s mask was a gunmetal gray, and Dean’s was black. They both looked absolutely gorgeous that night. She had walked into the party with them, one on each arm, and was overtaken by the vastness of the place. They were there to get information about a case they were working on and to have a little fun at the same time. After getting the information they had gone there for, the two boys took turns dancing with her, and they all three enjoyed the wine, champagne, food, and each other's company. The night may have ended a little differently than they all intended, but it was still a beautiful memory for her. Pulling herself from the memory, she looked down at her phone and opened it.

Scrolling through her contacts, she selected Sassy’s number and texted her despite it being late. Esme received an answer moments after sending hers. She read the message with a slight smile on her lips. Esme and Sassy sent a few more before stopping moments before Duke returned to the RV. As Duke walked in, Esme looked up from her phone and smiled warmly at him, setting her phone off to her side. “A Bobby special.” she repeated softly, looking at the sandwich on the plate he was holding. She was still a little wary about eating or drinking anything made by Bobby after the whole incident that morning, drinking the glass of whiskey he had made her, and she still wondered what he had put in it. But she trusted Duke and knew he would have watched Bobby make the sandwich and would have put a stop to him adding anything unnecessary to it. “Thank you, Bright Eyes. That’s actually more than I thought you might find in there.” she said warmly as she looked back at him. “I already know the answer, but I will ask anyway. Would you like half of it?” As she waited for his answer, she patted the bed next to her, silently asking him to come over and sit next to her.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

To say Esme was surprised by Mika's agreement with her was an understatement. She could have never imagined the woman agreeing with anything she said this soon after having a civil conversation. She figured it would take more time for her to come around to most of what she said, but Esme was glad to have her agree with her. Maybe Mika was finally starting to see her as her own person, which was a relief to Esme, and it helped not to have Dean lingering in the background while they talked. When Mika gave her a nod of agreement and spoke, she gave a small smile in return. “Don’t be. It’s not like either of us had a chance to really get to know each other with everything going on.” she told her. She was also happy that Duke had agreed with her before she dropped her hands from his face; it made her feel a little better, but it still bothered her how guilty he felt. Esme knew it was because he felt that he had let her down, which was far from what she felt. Duke hadn’t let her down at all. She felt she had let him down the day she left the trio.

Duke had tried to get her to stay by telling her he could make her happy, but she turned him down, which she regretted afterward. Esme wished she had stayed with him. If she had stayed with him, maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t have ended up in that damn asylum, and she’d still be human. After the dream she had, she felt she knew the demons were responsible for changing her. Duke, placing his hand on her lower back, pulled her out of her thoughts, and she looked up as Duke spoke and nodded in agreement. Esme had to agree with Duke; she felt Dean and Anna would be the hardest to get through to. But she still felt like it was possible. They had to get through to them and have the whole group on the same page. “Yes, we are, and I agree.” she said softly, the tiredness showing more in her tone. As she stood there, she tried to think about the best way to get the two on board with them without causing any more trouble between the two, without using any type of force, and without using her empathy to make them compliant with the idea of working together.

Her mind drifted from Dean and Anna to what Castiel had said before he left them in the field next to the rubble of the asylum. Esme couldn’t help but wonder what he was referring to and what would be in store for the group in the coming days. She could only hope that all of them would make it out alive, even though she knew that was a large ask. Mika’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and Esme couldn’t help but smile warmly and nod in agreement. “I believe you’re right about that. I’d actually prefer not to sleep on the couch again tonight.” Her tone held a light laugh as she replied to Mika. As Mika stepped away from her and Duke, Esme just barely had enough time to grab her jacket and drape it back on her shoulders before Duke spoke and wrapped an arm around her waist. A smile graced her lips when he called her princess. “Alright.” she said softly as he pulled her to the door. As he helped her down the steps, Esme was reminded of times he had helped her up the steps from botched hunts and long nights out, and it made her smile a little more as she reached the familiar gravel.

Once her feet were on the gravel, she slid her arm around Duke, rested her free hand on his stomach, and walked with him and Mika to the RV. Her eyes followed Mika as she walked over to the RV and opened the door for them. “Goodnight, Mika, and thank you.” she said warmly with a matching smile just before Duke told her goodnight. She then stepped inside with Duke’s help and kicked off her boots near the door, but out of the way as Duke shut the door behind them. Then she removed her jacket as Duke turned and faced her with a soft smile that she matched. “Having you here all night with music and you caring for me without drama sounds absolutely wonderful.” she said as she hung up her jacket near the door. She then went over to the bed with a yawn, sat on its edge, and her stomach growled softly. Reminding her that they never went out to get something to eat. “Before we get too comfortable, could I talk you into going back inside and raiding the kitchen for some snacks? We never made it out to get anything.” she said with a light laugh and a sweet smile.

“I’ll stay right here, and I promise not to fall asleep until you get back and we eat a little something.” Esme knew that Duke was now in protective mode and wouldn’t let her do anything but rest for the rest of the night, which was exactly what she was planning on doing. She didn’t want to do anything but eat a little something, rest, and snuggle up next to Duke for the night without worrying about anything but themselves. She wanted to tune everything out and become deaf and numb to everything outside the RV, and she wanted a decent night's sleep that wasn’t plagued by nightmares and memories.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

Releasing her hold on her jacket, Esme brought her hand to rest on her aching chest. She still wasn’t sure why she told Duke and Mika about that night. It was like as soon as it came to her mind, she couldn’t stop it from leaving her lips, which she immediately regretted and wanted to bolt from the kitchen when she felt the sorrow and guilt coming from the two. She didn’t want them to feel sorry for her for being in the asylum and going through what she did. Esme also didn’t want them to feel guilty for not knowing she was there. There was absolutely no way they could have known. Lifting her gaze to Mika, she shook her head softly after she and Duke finished talking. “Yes, it was pretty terrifying back then, but you have nothing to be sorry for, Mika.” she told her. “Even back then, it was a wonder that the place was still standing. And if she looked anything like I did, I don’t blame you for rushing to get out of there, especially with how many demons were there and the possibility of more coming. From what I could hear, I know getting in and out was a hell of a fight.”

Esme sighed softly, the sounds of the fighting ringing in her ears and sending a visible shiver down her spine. “I hold nothing against you for not going in and looking for others. There was absolutely no way you could have known they had someone else locked up in one of the other rooms. Not to mention, it would have been hard to find that room. They had the door well hidden.” she told Mika. “The only reason my godmother found it was because someone came and opened the door and told me it was going to be alright and that help was coming. To this day, I have no idea who they were or why they didn’t come in and unstrap me from the gurney or how they knew my godmother was coming for me.” she added. Esme still wondered who it was in that doorway back then, why they chose to keep their face hidden from her, and why they didn’t loosen her restraints. She wouldn’t even be able to pick out their voice since they spoke to her in a whisper. Esme could still clearly picture their silhouette standing in the doorway as they whispered to her.

Slightly shifting, Esme let her fingers slip from Duke’s belt loop and looked up at Duke. Removing her hand from her chest, she placed it on his chest. “And you, Duke. Especially you, have nothing to feel sorry or guilty for.” she told him, her features soft. “I know if you knew I was there, you would have been there in a heartbeat, but even if you had been there, I’m not sure you would have been able to feel me like you used to. When I left, the link between the three of us was broken. Or at least it was with Dean.” she told Duke. Esme then reached up with both hands, causing her jacket to fall from her shoulders and reveal the bruises she had been covering, and took Duke’s face into her hands, making him look at her. “Don’t beat yourself up for not answering the Dean’s call and missing the chance to save me from that place. I knew things would be hard between you and Dean when I left, but I never thought you’d leave and cut him out of your life for a while. For that, I’m sorry.” she told him softly, looking deep into his eyes.

“And don’t beat yourself up for what happened at the farm, either. Things happen that we can’t control, and we couldn’t have known what was waiting for us there. What matters is now. We’re together, and we’re both alive, a little beat up, but alive.” she told him with a small smile to try and get him to smile. “We’ve been given another chance, so let’s grab it by the horns and run with it. Don’t dwell on what happened. Just keep looking forward. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of opportunities to protect each other down the road.” Esme held his face a little longer to make sure her words got through, then let her hands slip from his face as she took a shaky breath, crossed her arms over her stomach, and turned back a bit towards Mika, her smile fading a bit. “I feel like we’re all going to have to protect each other in some way with what’s coming. It’s good that we’re all working to be on the same page because we will all need to work together when we face what’s coming. It’ll be hard, or we’ll never see the end because we’re divided.” she sighed tiredly. Esme suddenly felt as if she could pass out right where she stood, even with her aching chest.

But even with being tired, she was worried about what they would have to face. She worried about her vision of Dean coming true and worried about losing Duke again. There was no way Esme would survive mentally if she lost Duke again. Something deep down told her she’d take out more than a building if she lost control of herself over losing Duke again. She also couldn’t help but worry that Duke would be reckless, especially if he ended up separated from her or the others. She hoped that he’d be smart about things to come after what happened at the farm. Esme dropped her eyes to the floor and closed her eyes in an attempt to ground herself and push away the sorrow and grief, but it was proving difficult with how tired she was and no other emotions to focus on. So she focused on something that made her happy, and that slowly started to work. Once she was where she felt comfortable, Esme opened her eyes but didn’t lift her eyes from the floor.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

When Mika smirked and chuckled at her remark about Dean being crap about telling others how he felt, she couldn’t deny that it didn’t make her feel a little better than she felt before. She could have smiled and chuckled, too, if she wasn’t still thinking about how Natalia was. She was honestly worried about the girl and wondered how she had made it this far without really losing it. Yes, punching someone and breaking a car window wasn’t the most significant way to release her anger, but it could also be so much worse for whoever she directed that rage towards or if she directed it towards the wrong person and they came back at her. Which was something Esme would hate to see happen. She was also worried about how the conversation outside was going, but she tried not to focus on it too much since she knew it needed to happen. So, she tried to stay focused on Duke’s emotions, feeling how calm he was with the civil conversations between herself and Mika. She barely noticed how Duke moved his hips a bit closer to her as Mika spoke to her. Esme was definitely happy he was there at her side.

Even with Mika being civil, she wasn’t sure she would feel all that calm if she were in the kitchen alone with her, not with how tired her mind was. But that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have kept things civil. She would have. When Mika answered her about Natalia, Esme softly nodded and sighed softly. When Mika told her that she needed to be thanked for her help, Esme's eyes softened more, and she nodded again when Mika asked her to help Natalia. “I will do all I can to help her work through everything she has bottled up. And I also give you my word that I won’t use my empathy on her unless she permits me to or things get out of hand.” she told Mika. “I can already tell that working through all that anger will take some work, but I’m sure we’ll be able to get a handle on it.” When Duke spoke up, Esme turned her eyes up at him and nodded in agreement. “Yes, she is a lot like Dean, from what I’ve seen and felt from her…. And yes, we are all making strides tonight.” she said with a small smile.

Her smile faded as she went into thought about Natalia. “I think what helps me with Natalia is that we both went through the trauma of everything in that asylum at roughly the same time.” She sighed and turned her eyes away from Duke, looking at the kitchen floor and shaking her head softly, not believing she was about to say this out loud but felt it needed to be said. Esme felt she could trust this information with the two of them. “I’d never be able to admit this to Dean myself because I’m not sure how he’d take it.” she started, then paused, releasing a heavy sigh. “I was there, in a secret room, when Dean and Sam charged into the asylum to save Natalia…. I heard it all. The fighting, the bodies of the demons hitting the floor, the screams as demons smoked out, and even the moment they found Natalia and got her out.” Esme lifted her gaze, looking at nothing in particular, fighting the tears that threatened to show and tensing up again. “I was too weak to scream loud enough for them to hear me, and I couldn’t make any noise because I was strapped down tight to a gurney….”

“I never knew it was them until I learned that Natalia was there, and they found her there.” Esme drew in a shaky breath and slowly let it out. Even knowing that the place had been turned into rubble by her and there was no way she could be taken back, it was still hard to talk about and not fear being taken back to that horrendous place. “Those demons were never supposed to have taken me. That’s why they had me in a secret room, keeping me hidden from the others. I still find it a miracle my godmother found me.” Esme fell silent, shaking the memory from her mind, wishing she could forget about all of it. Lifting her free hand, she wiped away the tears that had welled up in her eyes and sighed again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all that on you.” she said softly.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

As soon as Esme walked into the kitchen and saw Mika, she felt uneasy and a little nervous. The two hadn't gotten off to the best start, and Esme was a little worried that something would break out between them, which she wasn't feeling up to. When Duke came over and put an arm around her waist, Esme leaned into him as she put her arm around him and slightly smiled as he wiped a tear from her face. Esme knew he had to feel how tense she was standing there, even if the room felt lighter for Duke. It wasn't until Mika spoke and Esme saw a much kinder look on her face that she relaxed and looked at the woman kindly in return. “You don’t have to thank me for helping her.” she started after Duke spoke. “She’s dealing with some deep emotions she’s never been able to process. She doesn’t know how. I wanted to help her because I know what it’s like trying to process emotions you don’t understand. The only difference is I didn’t have help.” she told Mika. Sighing softly, Esme briefly looked at the floor, collecting herself a little more. “I don’t like seeing them fight either.” she admitted.

“Especially knowing how much he loves and cares for her. I can feel it. He’s just crap at showing it. And Natalia…. She feels like she’s the sister Dean probably never wanted.” she said sadly. “And she still remembers Dean and Sam's conversation outside the door after they saved her. It clearly still haunts her…. I hope this talk between them will help start bringing them closer.” Esme really did hope that this talk between Dean and Natalia would help bring the two closer. She hated seeing family members not get along or seeing family members think they didn't belong in the family. It was hard to see when she witnessed it in her own family and watched it tear them apart. So, if she could calm Natalia down enough for Dean to talk to her, she would be happy. As Esme stood there, she found herself falling into memories of her family and tensing up again with a lump forming in her throat. Esme forced the memories from her mind and swallowed the lump in her throat, then unconsciously put two fingers through one of Duke’s belt loops to hold him closer to her. She then focused back on Mika to keep herself from drifting back into the memories.

Esme’s mind was tired from the lack of good sleep, so it was taking some effort to hold back memories the situation stirred and keep some emotions at bay. “While we talked, Natalia asked me if I would help her process her emotions, admitting she didn’t know how. I told her I would.” she told Mika. “I have to say I was a little surprised. She doesn’t seem like someone who often asks for help, at least not with something so personal.” Esme knew that the way she told Mika sounded as if she was asking if it was okay, but she didn't care. She felt she should know and did hope she was alright with it. Esme didn't want to overstep in any way but did want to do what she could to help. She also didn’t want Mika to think she was trying to take over anything. Just step in with her where she could and help out. Esme didn’t want the tension to linger between them since she didn’t know just how much Dean told her about their relationship.

All Roads Lead To You

Esme

After Esme broke the silence in the kitchen, she could feel the laugh that Duke held back. She clenched her fists a little as she continued to stare at the tabletop. What was so funny about her being the first to break the silence? And was this really the time to laugh? She turned her eyes up to Dean as she spoke and watched him walk over to the grocery bags and pull out the chocolate he told her he’d get for her. She gave Dean a small smile of thanks as she took the chocolate from him. As he returned to Duke’s side, Esme opened the chocolate, broke off a small piece, and placed it in her mouth. Sighing silently when Duke started to talk, she set the rest of the chocolate on the table and slowly looked up to look at Duke. She almost narrowed her eyes as he spoke until Dean pulled the back of Duke’s hat down, and she saw Duke's face more clearly. His red cheeks and nose were a clear sign he’d been drinking, and he seemed pretty out there. ‘He’s drunk. This could turn out good or bad.’ she thought as she looked at Duke.

She kept quiet as Duke continued, being well aware of the emotions coming from both boys in front of her. She did her best not to let what she felt get the better of her, which could easily happen if she wasn’t careful. The more Duke talked, the more Esme began to understand where Duke was coming from. In a short time, he had developed feelings for her, which scared him. She looked at the table, partly blaming her empathy for what he felt for her. Something about it drew people in like flies to honey, even when she wasn’t using it. Some time ago, something similar happened, but the guy turned into a stalker, and she had to scare the hell out of him to get him to leave her alone. When Duke moved to get up from the table, Esme’s eyes returned to Duke and watched Dean stop him before speaking. Her eyes shifted between them as they spoke, taking in their words. She could now see that it was mostly on Duke why he left, but it still hurt. When Dean helped Duke come clean by saying that he really liked her and wanted to be her friend, she lifted a single eyebrow.

Esme saw Duke’s eyes widen as he looked between her and Dean. She focused more on Duke and his emotions, feeling how he felt he was in trouble. With the way things were going, to anyone else, it would sound like Duke had a crush on her, but she knew better being an Empath. This felt like more than a crush coming from Duke, which could make things extremely difficult if Dean ever found out. Esme continued to focus on Duke as he responded to Dean’s help. She stayed silent, letting what she heard and felt sink in a little more before she finally spoke softly. “Trust me, you’d know if you crossed any lines, and I would say you’re more than a little drunk.” She looked down at the chocolate on the table, broke off another small piece, placed it in her mouth, and leaned back in the chair with her arms crossed over her stomach, thinking about her following words. “Friendship could be a possibility, but….” She looked up and met his eyes with her own, a seriousness taking over her features. “You have to promise me you’ll be honest with me. No more lies.” she told him.

“If you can’t do that, a friendship will never work between us.” With him being drunk, she wasn’t sure how well she was getting through to him or how much he would even remember when he sobered up. Esme hated being lied to. She had been lied to enough by her family, and now that she was spending most of her days here, she didn’t want to be lied to by anyone here. She wanted one place where she could fully trust the people she was around. Esme held Duke’s gaze momentarily before dropping her gaze to the chocolate on the table again and silently sighed. “Once you’ve sobered up, we can talk more.”

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

Esme opened her eyes and looked over at Natalia, seeing her eyebrow raise at her admitting to damaging the Impala, giving a light laugh. She knew from what Natatia had seen from her since they met it was probably a little surprising to hear she’d take her frustration and anger out on Dean’s car. “I know, it's a little hard to believe.” she said softly. Natalia’s next words caused the smile to leave Esme’s lips and her face to soften into sadness for the woman. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she listened and felt what Natalia was feeling, then wiped away a few tears that rolled down her cheek. “I’m so sorry you had to hear them say that, Nat.” she started softly. “I won’t pretend to know what that felt like. I don’t have any siblings, but I can imagine it was quite painful. And with everything those two had been through, you can’t really blame them for being suspicious and cautious of you then.” she told her. “I mean, if I were told I had a sibling out there somewhere, I’d feel the same way. I’d have to wonder if the universe was playing some sick, twisted joke before finally accepting it.”

Esme looked at Natalia and gave another soft sigh. “Look at them now, though. They love you. They would go through hell and back to make sure you're safe and alive. There’s nothing they wouldn’t do for you, even when they're upset. When Dean found out you were taken…. He was out of his mind worried about you.” Esme fell silent, watching Natalia, then followed her gaze to Sam and Anna, who appeared to be leaving for the night. She couldn't blame them with all the tension in the air. Esme didn’t know what happened in the house, but she sure could feel it wasn’t anything good. She knew how Dean could get and what he’d say when his feelings hurt. She turned her eyes back to Natalia when she spoke. She moved to sit next to Natalia, wrapped her arms around her, and hugged her tightly. “Don’t blame yourself for what happened. I’m sure Anna doesn’t blame you.” she said softly. “You should have been told what happened in the barn. Sure, Dean wanted to be the one to tell you, but we both know how long it would have taken him if he had ever done it. Dean doesn’t like confrontation and will do anything to avoid it.”

Esme sighed and rubbed Natalia’s back comfortingly, resting her cheek on her head. “I’m glad she told you, but not for what came out of it. But we know she’s in good hands with Sam, and he’ll take care of her until Dean cools down. Then, we can all talk it over. If we can’t talk about it, we'll never get past it.” Esme hugged Natalia close until she felt her phone vibrate in her jacket pocket. Releasing Natalia after a moment, she pulled back and pulled her phone from her pocket, seeing she had a text from Duke. Opening the text, she read it, sighed, and put her phone back into her pocket. She didn’t want to leave Natalia, knowing how scared she was to talk to Dean, but she also knew the talk needed to happen. Looking back at Natalia, Esme placed a hand on her arm. “Dean is on his way out here to talk to you, and he’s more civil than he was.” she told her. “I know you’re scared to talk to him, but at least try to give him a chance to explain everything to you.” As she spoke, Esme looked into Natalia’s eyes, trying to get her to listen.

“It’ll be okay, I promise…. If things start to go bad, you know Cason will step in. You should really give him a chance, though.” Esme told her. As she spoke to Natalia, she saw Cason stop Dean from the corner of her eye. She knew Cason was protecting Natalia from Dean. When Cason let Dean pass, Esme lifted her hand from Natalia’s arm and stood from the car. “If you need to talk afterward, you know where I’ll be.” she told her softly. Esme then stepped away from Natalia and her car, adjusting her jacket on her shoulders. As she passed Dean, she placed a gentle hand on his arm and gave him a small smile, silently telling him that Natalia was calm. “Be her brother. That’s what she needs. Nothing else.” she told him softly. Esme pulled her jacket tighter around herself as she walked across the lot to the back door, opened it, and walked inside. Her eyes quickly fell on Duke and Mika, and she stopped. “Cason and I got her to calm down. I just hope she’ll listen to what Dean has to say.” she told them. “She’s so scared of him hating her for what she did tonight.” Reaching up, she wiped away a few stray tears that were on her cheeks, which she hadn’t realized were there until now.

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

As Esme spoke to Natalia, she knew it had to be a bit strange hearing another woman say she loved Dean when she was so used to it being Mika with Dean. But it was true. She had been deeply in love with Dean before Duke came into the picture and then fell for him as well. She wouldn't admit to anyone out loud, but she still loved Dean even after how the trio split up. Dean was her first true love, and it was hard not to love him anymore, even after he hurt her. But even with still loving Dean, Esme’s deepest love and heart entirely belonged to Duke. When Cason met her gaze and relaxed his features as she spoke to him, she felt she half knew what he would say. She almost shook her head in protest when he told her it was alright. Esme didn’t feel like it was alright. She still felt horrible for leaving him behind. She listened to what he had to say and nodded, smiling a bit when Cason called Duke the blonde idiot before apologizing for his own actions. Esme opened her mouth to respond but closed it as Cason continued, and she smiled a little more at his words.

“You’re right, I do love that blonde idiot.” she laughed a little. “What I felt when I heard those words is something I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to feel…. I also understand where you were coming from when getting me to come with you. Your mind was on her.” she told him, gesturing to Natalia. She sighed, thinking about his last words to her, and nodded. “I can get behind chalking up to wrong place, wrong time. But I still feel like I should apologize for some of what happened.” Even though he said she had nothing else to apologize for, she still felt that a few things hadn’t been said she needed to apologize for. Cason apologizing to her and saying she had nothing to apologize for made her see him in a different light. He was really showing her that he wasn’t like other demons. When she heard Natalia speak, she pulled her gaze from Cason to Natalia and nodded. She couldn’t have been happier that Natalia was actually talking to her and opening up to her. Esme’s eyes widened and then softened to her next words.

Natalia was asking for help from her, something she never saw coming. A warm smile came to Esme’s lips as she looked at Natalia. “I’d be more than willing to help you work through them. I can’t tell you how many times I wished I had help with mine while I was struggling with them.” she told Natalia. “I’ll do my very best to help in any way I can.” Esme felt when Natalia’s thoughts went to her actions towards Dean before she spoke about Dean hating her. She followed the woman's gaze to the Impala, then rested it back on her as she watched her readjust her head on Cason’s shoulder and regrip his arm as she pushed her hand through her long sleeves. It didn’t take being an Empath to see how much Natalia regretted her actions towards Dean. It was clear on her face. Esme's face softened more, and she was about to reply to Natalia’s comment that Dean would hate her when the woman spoke again. A new smile graced Esme’s lips at her asking if she could come to her for advice and be her friend. How could she turn her down after this talk?

Once again, Esme opened her mouth to speak, but this time, she was interrupted by Cason pulling himself from Natalia and sliding off the hood after a few words to her. At Cason’s nod, she nodded back, understanding what he was telling her. Looking back to Natalia, Esme moved closer to the car and looked at Natalia. “You can come to me anytime you need to.” she started warmly. “If you need help working through something or just want to vent, I’ll be there to listen and help. And if you just want to talk without any feedback, I can do that too…. I could also use a female friend.” Esme fell silent for a moment, her gaze drifting over to the Impala, looking at the broken window and the shattered glass on the ground. She knew Natalia was scared to face Dean over it and apologize to him. She sighed softly, remembering her own incident with Dean’s beloved Impala and how furious he was with her about it, but he never hated her for it. “And the answer to your other question is no.” Esme said, looking back at her. “Dean’s not going to hate you over what you have done.”

“I can’t say that he won’t be pretty angry, but I know he won’t hate you.” She looked up and saw Dean’s face in the window and where Natalia had punched him. She looked back at her and gave a warm smile. “You’re not the only one that’s hit him or damaged his beloved car. When I was with him, I lost my temper and did both as well. Though, what I did to the Impala could be considered far worse than throwing a hammer through one of its windows.” she admitted. “Dean was absolutely furious with me, but he didn’t hate me over what I did. But he didn’t want me around the Impala much after that for a while.” Esme dropped her head and closed her eyes, pulling her jacket more around herself as an image of the damaged Impala came to her, and she shook her head. To this day, she still felt horrible for what she did, even though she apologized to Dean a hundred times over it. “I’m not even sure if Dean is capable of hating people in his family.” she added.

All Roads Lead To You

Esme

Esme’s eyes never left Dean’s face as she brought his hand up and kissed the back of it. She took in his smile and sigh at her words. As he spoke, she took in his words and softly nodded. “Okay, I’ll do my best not to worry about it.” she replied softly as he paused. It was hard not to continue thinking about it even when she didn’t want to think about it anymore, but since she couldn’t read Duke’s mind. She couldn’t help but wonder a little bit about what it was about her that made him leave. She wasn’t used to people running away from her unless they knew what she was. Duke had no idea that she was an Empath. No one had told him, and with how things were going, she still wasn’t sure she would. But she would keep her word to Dean and push it to the back of her mind. Esme watched as he pressed his lips tightly together before bending down and kissing her forehead, which made her close her eyes briefly with a soft smile. Dean’s suggestion caused her to smile even more as she looked up into his face. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.” she said warmly.

Getting some rest and time to collect herself and then going out with Dean sounded like something they both needed, but she couldn’t help but feel a little bad about ruining their earlier plans. But after everything that had happened since Duke got home, she couldn’t see herself having much of a good time with the tension hanging around them and trying to avoid Duke. Esme didn’t want to see or talk to Duke right now, with everything still so fresh in her mind.

A little later

After getting comfortable on the bed, Esme passed out almost immediately, falling into a peaceful and deep sleep. She never heard Dean leave the room or leave to go to the store to get her some chocolate. Which just went to show how much the whole situation drained her. By the time she woke, Dean had returned and was talking to Duke in the kitchen. Esme laid in the bed, stretched and yawned, hearing the muffled voices of Dean and Duke traveling up the stairs and through the bedroom door. Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair. She didn’t want to leave the comfort of the room, but she knew she couldn’t hide herself away in there forever. She would have to leave it eventually and have to face Duke. Laying there a little longer, snuggling a pillow, she thought about staying there once again. Finally, she forced herself to sit up, put the pillow back in place, and took to her feet. Esme walked over and grabbed a pair of socks from her duffle and her boots. Then, she glanced in the small mirror and wiped the sleep from her eyes, seeing she was still a little pale but had some color returning to her cheeks.

Walking back to the bed, she sat on the edge and put them on. Once that was done, she stood and walked to the door, hesitantly placed her hand on the handle, and opened it. Walking out the door, she pulled it mostly closed behind her. Esme walked to the stairs and slowly descended them, listening as the boy's voices got clearer the closer she got to the kitchen. Her stomach also knotted the closer she got. Esme kept her footsteps soft, not wanting to alert them to her being awake, then stopped and hung back out of sight, listening to their conversation. Coming in on it at the point where Duke said he couldn’t get her to talk to him. She remained as quiet as possible as Dean explained things to Duke and told him he needed to tell her the truth. Dean was trying to get Duke to come clean with her. She couldn’t stop the small smile that made it to her lips. ‘Leave it to Dean to try and fix things and protect my emotions.’ she thought. But Duke didn’t seem to be so willing to, thinking it would cause trouble, sighing inwardly as she continued to listen.

Her eyes widened when she heard Dean admit that Duke liked her and had already gotten attached to her because they talked. ‘Did he really get scared because we talked and he felt something?’ she thought. Esme continued to listen as Dean told Duke he needed to talk to her and that she’d get it because she’s good like that. She smiled a little more as Duke asked what if it was more complicated, and Dean told him to uncomplicate it and talk to her. She shook her head. Leave it to Dean to try and force someone to uncomplicate things. Just as she got up the nerve to walk into the kitchen, Bobby moved at his desk. She had entirely missed he was there. Esme nearly jumped out of her skin and squeaked in surprise. She snapped her head towards Bobby, giving him a look that said, ‘Have you been there the whole time?’ only to receive a shrug of his shoulders and then gestured for her to go into the kitchen. Nodding her head, she took a couple of deep breaths to slow her racing heart a bit, then stepped into the kitchen with the boys.

After walking into the kitchen, Esme sat at the table on the opposite side of Duke, still not quite able to look at him just yet. She stared at the top of the table, crossing her arms over her stomach. She felt a tad awkward sitting in the kitchen with Duke after hearing what she did. Esme didn’t even know what to say as she sat there until one thing came to mind. It could easily be directed towards both of them. “Thank you for letting me sleep. I feel a little better than I did.”

Supernatural - Hell On The Horizon

Esme

As Esme waited to see if Natalia would even answer her, Cason spoke up, and she turned her gaze to him. She nodded in understanding. So, she was right. Someone had slipped to Natalia that they had left Cason in the barn, following Dean blindly as they got Duke out of the barn. She sighed inwardly as she turned her gaze back to Natalia, who hadn’t looked at her, feeling her hurt and anger towards her for leaving Canson behind to get Duke out. She couldn’t blame the woman for feeling that way towards her, especially with how she knew Cason saved her life at one point and had given her Sarah. Esme dropped her gaze to the ground and pulled her jacket tighter around herself, starting to wonder if she’d be any help here at all, but as soon as Natalia spoke, Esme lifted her eyes back up to her. She didn’t really expect the woman to say she was alright. That was bad wording on her part, but at least she was speaking to her. As Natalia continued, Esme nodded her head softly, a little surprised that she was spilling so much truth out to her at once.

Maybe she felt like she could confide in her since they had once been stuck in the same place at the same time, and they could understand each other. She still didn't know Natalia all that well, but what she was saying made it clear she had been lied to her entire life. She had been lied to by those she loved and trusted. Esme could partly sympathize with her because she had been lied to plenty of times by those she loved and trusted. Even with being a human lie detector, it hurt no less. Her father, godmother, Duke, and Dean had all lied to her at some point. A lot of those lies felt like slaps to the face and knives in her heart. Esme’s face softened even more as she listened to Natalia, not attempting to interject her own words, just letting the woman get what she needed off her chest. Then, she spoke about not being able to process her emotions. Esme knew what that was like all too well. There was a time she had the same problem, even more so when the emotions of others were bombarding her. Esme felt as if she would explode and had nothing to release it towards.

To this day, she still had trouble processing either her or someone else's rage. A slightly amused smirk came to Esme’s lips as Natalia finished talking and softly shook her head. “Don’t worry about the wording. I know exactly how you feel. Before my…. “Exploding moments”…. There were times I couldn’t process my emotions, and nothing but a tree or an old car to take them out on. But I also had the emotions of others mixed in with mine. Processing and controlling your emotions isn’t something you can learn overnight. It will take work. Especially after what you and I have gone through.” she told her. Esme took a couple of steps closer to the car. “If you’d like, I can help you with those emotions.” she offered kindly. She briefly looked down at Sarah as she moved with her and sat down at her side. “As for Dean and how I coped.” she started with a light sigh. “I can’t tell you how many times I asked myself the same question. I almost left several times, but either Duke or Bobby would talk me out of it.” she admitted to Natalia.

“I think I stayed so long with him because I felt he needed me just as much as I needed him, and I loved him deeply…. Our time together wasn’t all bad either. Some of the hardest times were when he and Duke would butt heads and Duke would run off. And a few times, he got jealous of how close Duke and I got and would confide in each other.” Esme shifted to one foot and felt a knot forming in her throat as she remembered some of those moments. She swallowed down the knot, refusing to let herself give in and tear up, but they still showed in the corners of her eyes. “And since we’re being truthful, I want to apologize for the truth being kept from you. I’m also sorry for my part in leaving Cason behind, but I’m sure you can understand in part why I did it.” she told her. Esme dropped her eyes once again to the ground. “But that’s still no excuse for what he’s done for me, which I am grateful for…. I’m sorry…. Both of you.” After a moment, she looked back up and at Cason.

“And I’m also sorry for almost attacking you in the asylum before I brought it down. I wasn’t thinking straight, and my emotions blinded me. I just wanted to end it all, feeling like I had nothing left to live for.” she admitted. “I felt that if you could take me out, I wouldn’t explode and risk hurting anyone else, and I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of losing Duke anymore.” Esme sighed heavily through her nose and wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek as she stared at the car's hood. “Rage, grief, and loss are emotions that tend to get the better of me.”