"How 'bout Michigan? Nobody lives theyah, and it's just south a' Canada, if ya feel like runnin' foah the bohdah. Hell, pahts of it ah just north a' Canada. Detroit, foah instance." He wasn't really sure where his suggestions were coming from, but Dan felt reasonably certain that his ideas were all good. Better than Italy, at least. "Maybe Florida. I heah they got Skunk Apes. I always wanted tah see a Skunk Ape. Down in Sarasota, I heah they have a Skunk Ape museum..." but Dan knew he was getting off topic. "Anyways, why in the hell would we want ta fight 'em head on? They outnumbah us by a whole helluvalot, and we ain't exactly professionals. Now, if we'ah goin' by plane, it'd probably be bettah if we chahtah'd one rathah than get on a commercial flight."
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Dan shook his head, making sure he had listened correctly. "Did ya hear a word a' what I said? If we go on some grandiose world touah, we'ah just gonna end up dead in a ditch oah gettin' towcha'd somewheya. The moah we scooby doo the fuck around, the angriah that middle-eastehn son of a bitch is gonna get. We eithah go straight ta him oah straight to America. These colahs don't run, and all that shit." He was certain that this dubiously-American kid, this "Jobban" (which sounded very wrong in Dan's head) had to be nuts, or slow in the brain. Had he never watched a single fugitive movie or episode of 'Prison Break'? Well, the latter wouldn't surprise him. Dan DVR'd the show, but never actually got around to... He was getting off task. "But if ya really want ta risk ya life ovah the LOOK a' the guy, be my fuckin' guest."
THE DAN WITH THE PLAN
"Ya know..." the gears in Dan's head were definitely turning now. "Why in the hell ah we even' runnin' from this guy? We got no chance a' escapin', an' frankly no mattah weyah we hide, he'll find us. If he's got a lucrative offah, I say we listen ta him. We'ah all technically criminals already, not a one of us don't got a murdah to ouah name."
Dan was definitely mulling it over in his head, but then another thought came up. "Unless you did somethin' real stupid ta get away from him. Then we might be best off headin' foah the States. Land a' the free, home a' the brave. Safah that way, ya know."
Dan was definitely mulling it over in his head, but then another thought came up. "Unless you did somethin' real stupid ta get away from him. Then we might be best off headin' foah the States. Land a' the free, home a' the brave. Safah that way, ya know."
"If we'ah go in' suggestions, I suggest we foahm a team a' kickass supahcrooks." He chuckled, knowing for certain not one of them would go along with it. "Maybe we could look foah moah elemental shitheads like us. Don't think it'd jes skip from Chlorine ta Copernicium. That don't make sense."
Dan scratched his head. He wondered just how common these powers were... He was getting worried he might not have been as special as he hoped.
Dan scratched his head. He wondered just how common these powers were... He was getting worried he might not have been as special as he hoped.
Me as well. I'm liking where this is going actually.
Dan, though definitely in minor pain, let out a roaring laugh. "And I'M the creep? Look, I'm shoah you had yah reasons ta do it, but c'mon. It's like havin' a bunch of cleavahs comin' up to a kitchen knife an' callin' it 'edgy'. I know I do fucked up shit, but I ain't justifyin' nothin'. All I done was strictly foah profit an' my own personal gain. Not gonna pretend I got the high ground." He looked at the four other church occupants. "So, we done playin' this game of 'antagonize Rad Dan'?"
@Scarlet Angel94 PLEASE STOP POSTING OTHER PEOPLE'S REACTIONS. IT IS VERY ANNOYING AND RUDE. ALSO CONFUSING AND INTERRUPTING TO THE STORY.
"Swearing in church ain't a problem foah me, seein' as I'm Episcopalian. Tendency ta live an' let l-- HOLY SHIT!" The last bit came as the ball of frozen shit came flying at him. He swung his bat in front of himself just in time, shattering both the icy helium and the bat. "You fuckin' nuts? Talkin' bout how I'm dangerous? I ain't the one who opened with a goddamn fiyahball, or iron whip, or toxic gas cloud, or icy blast a' God knows what! And I'M THE DISGRACE? Listen, Chloe theyah is a killah, too. Fuckin' gassed some prick. Saw it on the news, I think. Look, I'm fine with jes' talkin', but it's cleah you all don't feel the same."
TOTALLY RAD
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