Captain Alex Sora watched through the observation window of the bridge while his pilot brought the Yondaime ship closer to the speeding train. The engines screeched as they struggled to slow and match the speed of the streamengine. Things had to be handled perfectly, if they were going too fast, his men could miss the jump and end up face first in a pile of sand. Too slow and the train would pass them up, carrying their pay away.
He placed his hand on the shoulder of his pilot. Kill Bones, sweat dripping from his brow, took no notice of the tender touch. “You can’t fuck this up,” Alex said. “You know what’s on that train.”
“I know,” KB growled. His knuckles had turned white as he fought to keep the ship steady. For several agonizing moments, Alex didn’t know if they were going to make it.
“I’m a leaf on the wind,” KB mumbled, “watch me soar.”
“I’ll soar my foot up your ass if you don’t hurry up.”
No response, another long moment as the pilot kept his deathlike grip on the controls. With a satisfied sigh, he relaxed his hands and flipped a switch, causing the entire ship to shake. The engines whined for a few seconds, but the ship finally fell into a steady speed. They were right alongside the train.
With a grin, the Captain opened the comm-link. “Boarding party, you’re all clear. Operation Snatchhatchet is a go.”
“Roger that chief.”
* *
Jster loaded his rifle as the cargobay ramp started to lower. “I’m giving us five minutes until shit starts hitting the fan. Remember, we practiced this exercise all yesterday, so we should have it down.” Behind him, Drakel helped Goldmarble into the harness that was attached to a tit-tanium rope, which would bring Goldmarble back onto the ship once he had taken the payday. Jster wore a similar harness, but his job was a bit different. He carried a dufflebag thrown across his shoulder with a third harness, which he would attach to a particularly large item on the train. He didn’t know what it was, but the Captain was adamant about getting it.
“Boarding party, you’re all clear. Operation Snatchhatchet is a go.”
Jster tapped the Bluetooth comm-link, “Roger that chief.” He turned around and waved at Goldmarble, “Let’s go Gold.” He made his way down the ramp, feeling the hot air sting his face. He fucking hated these desert planets, but that’s all there seemed to out on the outer rim, in this fucking Frontier sector. After a quick prayer, he made the jump.
The leap was fucking frightening. The precious few seconds where your feet had nothing, where you could feel gravity about to penetrate you, where everything hung in the balance. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced, save for in Grif’s whorehouse.
His feet hit the roof of the train’s compartment, and gravity immediately removed its genitals from him. Of course, the landing hurt like hell and he immediately lost his balance and fell, but that was to be expected. He was on a moving train.
While he started working on opening the hatch on the compartment roof, Goldmarble made the leap. Like Jster, he lost his balance and fell, and Jster was quite happy to see it happen to someone else. It made the jump a bit more bearable. Drakel watched over them from the ramp of the ship, armed with his Dragonuv sniper rifle.
The hatch opened relatively easily, and Jster waved Goldmarble through. The compartment was for freight only, so there were no passengers to worry about. As long as one of the engineers at the front of the train didn’t bother to look backwards, they were safe. Once his partner was inside, Jster followed and dropped down through the hatch.
The compartment was full of crates. Some were unmarked, others were written in foreign languages such as 7331 speak, and one or two had the phrase “Warning: Amputee Porn” written on the sides. It would take hours for the two of them to go through all the crates and find what they needed, and that was time they simply didn’t have.
Luckily, the intel they had been given was correct. The informant had given them details on the specific crates, and when Goldmarble opened them, they were full of the .gifs. At Jster’s nod, he started to grab handfuls of the .gifs and load them into his dufflebag, while Jster started work on the main package.
It was easy to find. A long crated marked, “DANGER: FOR MOD USE ONLY” and “USE BY UNLICENSED INDIVIDUALS IS A BANWORTHY OFFENSE IF USE DOESN’T RIP YOUR THROAT OUT OF YOUR ASS”. Jster removed the harness and started to hook it to the crate.
Goldmarble finished loading the .gifs and yanked on his cable. On the ramp, Drakel pulled a lever and the crewman was lifted out of the hatch, leaving Jster alone with his work.
He tapped his comm-link, “Captain.”
“What’s up?”
“This is a big package, it’s going to be a really tight fit.”
“I’ve heard that quite a bit. Check the item I put in your bag, put some of it on it and it’ll slip through.”
Jster dug out the container of Astroglide Alex had put in his duffel bag and poured it over the crate. He yanked on the cable and Drakel pulled the lever. Slowly the crate started to raise and go through the compartment’s hatch.
Is this giving me a boner? Jster wondered.
“WHAT TER FUCK!”
Jster spun around, instinctively bring his rifle to his shoulder. In the doorway of the compartment was a large man, holding a bottle of Irish whiskey in one hand and a revolver in the other. The badge on his chest glinted, and Jster felt himself get a little scared. A member of the Irish Modfia.
“I can explain everything…” The crate had finished its journey through the hatch, leaving the way out open.
“Alrighty ten, explain.”
Jster opened fire at the man’s feet, sending him into cover. He yanked on his cable and almost laughed with relief as he felt himself being lifted. He kept up the fire to keep the Irishman in cover. He was lucky, the man didn’t get to return fire until he was almost completely out of the compartment.
Once he had made it back to the ramp of the ship, Jster found the Captain in the cargobay, almost fondling the crate, while Drakel and Goldmarble were running their hands through the .gifs.
“Captain, why the hell was the Modfia on that train? Just what did we steal?”
Alex rubbed the wooden crate with his cheek, “All that glitters is not gold my friend. You’ll find this quite…the bomb.”
“Fuck.”
