Once upon a time, there was a bright piece of orange plastic sitting in a box, on a shelf. It was not aware of how it got there, or why it was there. Around it were several other such items, of various sizes and shapes, with people inspecting them all. It noticed, sometimes, some were taken. Some were not. However, its feelings were irrelevant to this story, for it was in a pet store, and its fate was soon to be revealed.

One day, when the store closed, and the lights turned off, a cat slipped out of its cage. Around its neck was a collar and a metallic name tag. The cat was called Nexerus, and he was curious thing. The toy noticed there was a mistake in its name on the box: Carot, made in China. Nexerus hissed and with a single bound knocked the toy inside its box down onto the ground, and with a loud thud, it heard the the violent, furious assault of clawed paws tearing through cardboard and wrapping paper. Then, moments later, it felt the razor sharp teeth wrapped around it. Nexerus then squeezed it his maw and a loud squeak came from it. Nexerus hesitated, then with delight began to bound about with his newly discovered play mate, it saw the cage where Nexerus slept, and the counter where Nexerus jumped at it with murderous intent from. Altogether, the cat had a wonderful time.

Then the lights came back on. Nexerus panicked and threw it in a cage with a dog before bounding back to his own cage. The last thing the toy saw of Nexerus the cat was its head craning to see the humans coming, before one came and took him away from the toy. Shortly after that, the toy was thrown in a dark black bag.

Then, just as all hope seemed lost, just as it felt the heat of something grabbing it, instead, it found itself back in Nexerus' maw, in a large carpeted room. Nexerus delightfully gave the toy a quick bite to ensure the squeak was right before carrying it off to further adventures.

Such intriguing creatures mankind were, altogether he had created them to better understand what it was to be mortal, yet, it still escaped him. Lucian oversaw the construction of their base molecules, their personality traits randomly chosen by the environment they grew up. These cretins had been born and slain a thousand times and yet he always reverted back to this one, bitter moment in time. To this couple, a man and a woman, of the same species, screeching about whether or not to have a child, no, wait, about an expensive car, no, wait, about plants?

Human beings were such bizarre creatures, Lucian couldn't make sense of it. He had "lived" for the better part of eternity, alone, without any equals, and thus the interactions of lesser beings in such a manner confused him. He gave them wealth, and they argued over how to spend it. He gave them power, and they argued over how to use it. He gave them knowledge, and they argued over what it meant. No matter how many things he gave them, this argument occurred anyway, and the more things they had, the sooner they began to argue.

Still. What more could one do?... Even with omnipotence he was merely their creator, he imbued them with free will and now they used it. Despite wielding all of his powers he could not make them not have this argument without changing the actors themselves, and at that point, it became challenge-less.

So here he was.

Staring at a pair of insignificant insects whose entire lives he already knew. Arguing over their favourite character on a TV show's favourite colour. Whilst hundreds died every minute.

Petty creatures... Even as they invariable split and went their own, separate ways, Lucian merely drew a single line next to many, many other lines. "Not this time." He murmured to himself. "...Maybe... If I made them speak another language..."

Rien n'a changé.

This story's punchline will be back in three months after the Mexican cartel holding our dear leader has been sufficiently appeased with the value of his golden Fonz statue.

Hint: I may or may not write this. More likely will, just need some sleep first.