What's your name?Clay. If it's like, y'know, a formal-type name, like for a form or some shit, then Clay Donnel. Middle initial J. Most people call me Clay, 'cept for Mrs. Silver, she calls me C.J. I think it's retarded. Who the fuck wants to be called letters, y'know? What son-of-a-bitch sits down like 'Hey, I'm gonna name my kid A.J, or O.K, or T.Q' or some dumb hippie shit? Anyway, off-topic. Name's Clay.
How old are you?I have to answer this? I'm, uh, eighteen, actually. But before you say some shit like 'Ohh, eighteen-year old in high school, must be one dumb motherfucker', just shut up, okay? I get that I'm dumb, but I don't like hearin' 'bout it. I got held back twice. First time was 'cause I didn't go to school, second time was for fighting. Anyway, off-topic too. Eighteen.
What do you look like?Other than what you see? Dunno. I'm not good at descriptions. Max says I look like a Clay. People say I look kinda dirty. Not in the sex way. The bath way. I look like a guy with scars on his hands and brown eyes like mud. I keep my hair short so ain't nobody can grab it. I dress in whatever's cheap, which is usually just jeans and button-ups and sweaters and wifebeaters and shit like that. I own a pair of boots and a pair of sneakers, but I only wear boots if it's snowing. Too many guys around my school think they become some kinda badass if they wear boots all the time, and I think they all look like punkass bitches. Off-topic too, my bad. Anyway, long-story short, I look like me.
Do you have any hobbies? Please feel free to discuss them here.Like, impressive ones? Sometimes I write songs about stuff, except, in my head. I remember them though, I have good memory. I like movies too, especially Lord of The Rings and Marvel and shit. Fantasy stuff. Do those count as hobbies too? Yeah? Fuckin' A. Also, I probably shouldn't mention it, but I like to box. Like, you could say 'Clay likes fighting', but except without like, choking or kicking or other shit. Dennis taught me to box when I was little, from before he left.
Any dislikes?Teachers. Classmates. School and teachers and classmates and shit, mostly. Everybody treats me like some retard, they talk slow to me like I don't speak English. I don't understand most of what they teach either, so I mostly cheat or guess or make up excuses. I don't like school, and I been thinking of dropping out and working. I ain't have no skills, but, y'know, I still got two legs. I could shovel shit for all I care instead of dealing with everybody at school.
Tell me, what are your goals for the future? Both immediate and long-term.None. Does that sound sad? I dunno. I just don't have many options. I can't stand school. I'm not smart enough for scholarships, I'm too fuckin' poor to buy my ticket into college. I was born in a trailer, and I'mma probably die in one too. I guess the only goal I got is just, not being where I am now. That make sense? I wanna be a guy who's got like, a girl, and a dog, and a house. Maybe a kid. Dunno yet. Kids are sticky.
What's your home life like? Specifically, what is your relationship like with your parents?I have to answer that too? Alright, 'kay, gimme a sec. I have both parents, first-off. Usually not what you expect, from some guy from a trailer park, right? Yeah, both of 'em. Most people have a mean dad and a nice mom, but I don't think that's what I got. They both call me stupid and shit like that, so I just block them out. My mom has a job at the hospital, but not no doctor-type stuff. She's an orderly, like, she holds down crazies and cleans up after old people. My dad just kinda sits around and smokes weed and shit. I don't like him either. But it's not all bad, like, they don't say mean shit to me twenty-four seven. I wouldn't go that far. When they ain't mad at me, they act like regular parents I guess. Only problem is they usually got something to be mad about.
Siblings?I got two baby brothers. That's all you need to know. Sometimes I take care of 'em while their mom's working or Max is busy and I ain't got nothin' better to do. Love 'em to bits. They draw pictures of me sometimes, and I think they got nicknames for me. One time the littlest one broke his nose fallin' off a porch, and Max freaked and didn't know what to do, and I reset his nose with my thumbs. Their mom still ain't know exactly what happened. That guy I mentioned earlier, Dennis. My older brother. Not talking about it.
What's your favorite animal, and why?Naked mole rats are some badass things, man. Think about it. Naked mole rats barely feel pain, can't get cancer, and act like bugs with a queen and soldiers and shit. They even fight snakes. They can bite through dirt and rocks and whatever too. Basically, they're, like, little shriveled up superhumans. Imagine what a 6-foot long naked mole rat would look like? I'd ride it to battle and shit. Man. Naked mole rats are the fuckin' bomb. I bet if we made, like, an alligator-sized naked mole rat, it'd be like, the dominant species and shit.
Favorite color?Real talk, yellow. Think about it. Star Trek, boom. Command yellow. Y'know who wore yellow? The best characters, that's who. Kirk. Data. Worf. All yellowshirts. Outside of Star Trek, all the best things are yellow. Baratheon? Yellow. The sun? Yellow. Butter? Yellow. Gold? Yellow. Flowers can be yellow too. It's a happy color, too. Ain't nobody gonna wear a yellow shirt and tell you some sad fuckin' shit.
You wake up late one night to discover that your house is burning down. What do you do?Grab my cash and get out. Ain't nothing I own too pricey to replace. Trailers ain't hard to escape, either. Afterwards I'd probably come back and see if my folks got out too. Shit. Fucked up kinda question, don'tcha think? I guess everybody thinks they got a plan, but real talk, I don't know what I'd do. Don't think I'd panic though. Worst case scenario, I'd get out and forget my money, but that's in a mason jar by my futon where I keep my keys too, so it's kinda hard to forget. Yeah. Money, keys, escape. Boom, next question.
Finally, a tricky one; which came first, the chicken or the egg?Sabbath.
Clay's RelationshipsMaxMax is geeky and weird and hyper, but nobody bullies her. Wanna know why? One guy tried, once, sayin' stuff about her freckles to his friends. Max heard about it. She said she didn't care, but I think she did, because she ain't ever look him in the eyes, and she walked faster when him and his friends would whisper in the hallway. I waited for him after school, slapped the shit outta him, and roofed his shoes with the socks in 'em. It was raining that day too, so he was walkin' home barefoot through puddles and shit. You know what happened after that day? Max dropped her books in the hallway, and he fuckin' sprints to pick them up for her. Problem solved. Nobody fucks with me, so nobody fucks with her by extension. She's my best friend since day one. My only friend too. Easiest way to put it, she's more to me than me.
[[Clay and Max grew up together. She is his closest friend, and the only person he trusts with his secrets. She is also the only person who can actually
tell Clay what to do. Although he is fiercely protective of her, many see him as a bad influence.]]
MarioNot exactly a fan. All I know about him is that he's some perfect all-star. All American, corn-fed, Eagle Scout, Track-Star set to inherit a family business. Probably goes to church every sunday and tosses papers from his bike. Seriously. Oh, I almost forgot, y'know that cousin you have that you get compared to? Imagine that shit, but with someone you don't even fuckin' know. My mom works with his or somethin', and I get stories about how good of a kid he is, as if I didn't already know I'm a shitty son. Seriously. Anyway, I don't know dick about him on a personal level, although he seems bareable from the stories from Maxie. I'd sum his existence up in a quote from Star Trek, season one, episode fourteen. "In a different reality, I could have called you friend."
[[Clay has no strong opinion of Mario, but is jealous of him for growing up in a comfortable middle-class background. He believes Mario grew up with everything he didn't.]]
TheoDon't like him either. Makes me feel dumb. I always see him talkin' about some science-y shit like he was the guy to discover it. Oh, I almost forgot this, check this out -- Dude has a fuckin' manservant that follows him around and shit. Drives him to school, probably packs his lunches and tucks him into his fuckin' bed too. He wears name brand shit too, I could never stand that. Anyway, back on topic. Just some poindexter snob. I don't fuck with him. The one conversation I had with him is when he asked me where the AP Chem room was.
[[Clay has no strong opinions on Theo either, although Theo's wealth certainly doesn't make Clay think more highly of him. Clay believes that he is very stupid whereas Theo is very smart, and there is an element of jealousy as well.]]
IikkaI hear stories about him. Mostly that we're the same, 'cept for one crucial thing everybody keeps missin'. I don't hit girls. Don't even slap 'em. I hear he beat the piss outta some chick for talkin' to him wrong. What the fuck's up with that? Christ. Fuckin' psychopath. Anyway, never met him before, although I met his lackey Jason a few times he tried bumming a cigarette offa me. People say they'd pay money to see me and Iikka fight. He tries steppin' up to me, maybe those people'll pay up. Maybe he'll see fightin' girls ain't the best way to make a name for yourself.
[[Clay has never met Iikka. Although the two have similar reputations, Clay only knows about Iikka through hearing that he beat up a girl, so his opinion of him is fairly low.]]
