If you have thin skin, are easily offended, or have insecurity issues, please stay the **** out of this thread!
Thank you!
•RULES•
Try to exercise some common sense, but for those who need something more tangible, I have some basic ground rules.
•1: Don't violate any of RP Guild's site Rules.
•2: Try to keep it clean! Use your language sparingly, and don't go crazy on someone until you've battled them a few times and have a sense of their threshold for insults. We don't want literal battles here. It's a game where you invent stuff, not try to hurt people.
•3: 6-8 Line Minimum for Battles. No 4-liners.
•4: Battles will be arranged by challenges, or mutual agreements, and will be held 1 at a time. This means you cannot blindside Johnny with a rap without his agreeing to a Battle prior to, and a Host (just me for now) setting it up for you to make sure you're not cutting an active Battle. This also means yo cannot cut an active Battle by posting your own Battle spontaneously, unless you're positive no Battles are active at that time.
•5: After a Battle begins, both parties will have 5 days to complete said Contest with
1 Rap Each. If for some reason, Both parties have not posted their Rap, that Battle will be postponed until the nearest available time. (This will encourage Battles to happen fairly quickly)
•6: Once we get enough rappers posting, we'll start holding Tournaments. Battles in a Tournament will be decided by a Judge or panel of Judges.
Just so you know I'm not some punk:
This is a debut rap from another site:
It's the motha fuckin' debut...
*John Doe*, this one's dedicated to you
I'd dust off that dictionary if I were YOU
Mic check, 1-2
1-2-3!
1-2-3!
Caught your pupils lookin' at me
Disciples of The One they-call-OT
...
Wild child since '85
A mild guy who's just lookin' to get by
But I'm a restless man, I really can't lie
I'll be a lone wolf [/i]til the day that I die[/I]
But sometimes I cry and I don't know why
'Cause tears feel dry when they form in my eyes!
I've cried so much I could fill the sky
And block out the sun
Let the shadows erase all the shit that I've done
'Cause life ain't fun when you're on the run
Steady under the gun
But I guess that's the life of an Outlaw, son
Haha! I'm back
The Undisputed Rap Battle Overlord
So put your pride aside boy and climb aboard!
Attention Please!
Attention Please!
Put the Mic down and step away from the keys
No, seriously...
Your raps look-taste and smell like moldy cheese
Steppin' to you should literally be a breeze
Now I'll admit, some of you got flow
I'd keep my day job if I were you though
Hello!
I finally hit the scene
Couple more verses man you'll know what I mean
I come out swingin' like a young Mike Tyson
Clean punks up like a brand new Dyson
Look man, I think this is a sign
"Write some better lines when ya post here next time!"
Ah man, oh no, wait
I think it's too late
My raps flow with the goal to annihilate
Circumventilate
This is dire, Mate
I spit flows that glow and grow til they gravitate
Mastermind rhymes that'll devastate
Make your mouth start to salivate
Elevate the mic to a higher state
You can call me Lord Torn The Great
Inebriate the masses as we lift our glasses
Filled to the rim with my funky hymns
Overload the mic with my rhymes so tight
Mmm! So tight!
I hit it just right
I'm talkin' about rhymes
Tisk, tisk, you perverted minds
'See rap to me is like ridin' a bike
I transcend the mic til you be soundin' like tikes
Your flow's ice cold kid, so take a hike
It's a new Regime, a funky-fresh Rappin' Reich
But I ain't spittin' in German
Lines written shall determine
Who among you shall be burnin'
Straight to poetry you'll be turnin'
A style like mine you'll be yearnin'
'Cause spittin' 4 poor lines is a crime against the spoken rhyme
So that Belt that ya felt should be yours, well it's mine!
I spit flows oh so Divine!
'Cause I'm the Rap Battle Champ
So run along now, Skamp
Your mere presence gives my style the cramps
I wanna show you how it's done
Spit hot shit like the risin' sun
But it gets real messy when I ain't havin' fun
I might get banned if I pull out the big guns
So this here rap is a real subdued one
Spit just for you
Aww, you're just so cute!
I could pinch those cheeks...
In about 18 years and some-odd weeks
That means you're a baby to me
A clone barely grown and yet unshown
The ways of the rhyme but you'll learn in time
Just study my lines and you'll do just fine
Goddamn man, I did it again
Bent the Cosmos with the tip of a pen
I'm outta control, I'm tearin' shit up
I'm burrowing a hole in your brain like a bug
Someone unplug the mic before feelings get hurt tonight
It's such a sad yet spectacular sight
'Cause I'm trouble on the mic
So quit if ya like
'Cause these people gonna love me by the end of the night!
Me not rappin' at 100% is for your protection, not mine
So who's the next in line?
And this is something written off the dome in response to a particularly belligerent rapper from another site:
Now who be the host wit the most to boast?
Post-traumatic roast and a toast to your ghost!
'Cause I be The One spittin' coast-to-coast
I drink to your bones as your spirit moans
Groans and phones home to atone for the rhymes you've shown
Apologize for the lies these guys have known
I spit lines you couldn't design through your entire life-time!
I've been crowned as a hound for the sound of a bass pound to the ground
Known around town just for rushin' the mound
Wit the Philly Shell D. you can tell who the hell rung your bell
Came through to quell, a new slew 'a Bullshit raps you and your crew would do well not to sell where I dwell
'Cause I'm a dark horse sprung from a dead-end course to divorce from despair and become a new force,
A whole new monster!
Blades swing for brain like a chopper!
I told you not to test me...
But oh so sure you could best me!
Your tyranny?
Oh, the irony!
I'll put you down, louse wit a fuckin' roundhouse!
I'm a lion, you're a mouse
Little bitch without a spouse
Bitch faggot... this is my house!
"My name is Kodiak A. Sayre"
-_- Jesus H. Fucking Christ, Player
You're a stone-cold killer pressed layer by layer
The Fabled disabled Rap Battle Slayer
The spoon-fed Special Ed. Mayor
Suburban expansion from your Brick Mansion Lair!
Haha!!
If you had a queen
She'd pro'ly be thirteen
Lookin' real mean
A mail-order bride
But the website lied
'Cause she's a fat ugly whore
Who doesn't do chores
And that slut's dick man, it's bigger than yours!
What?
Finally cum?
What are you dumb?
Broadcastin' your virginity
Reenforcing my Divinity
With your lyrical obscenity
And general stupidity?
Recognize my validity!
And don't ever try to step to me!
You're just another casualty
You'll realize this gradually
Your life is but a frailty
This is just reality
I embody pure totality
So come and swear your loyalty
I'll give you a tiny royalty
Since I hold the fuckin' Monopoly
Only in your dreams could you topple me
Wet dream? Probably!
You need a few lobotomies
To cure that obsession with homosexual sodomy!
...
How did you expect this to go?
You don't even know your lingo, bro
You flow kinda like a throw to the Andy Griffith Show
I think you might be slow
For real, though
Ask around, these people gotta know
They've been gagin' through your raps for 63 pages in a row!!
I think they've earned a break now, No?
I ain't never met a crew like you
who can do
what you do
how you do
when you do
what it is that you do
Nobody's got a clue
No not even Blue
My friend you're gonna rue
The day I came through
I tell you this is true
So witout further a due
Let me bring it to you
OT & Kodiak, Round number Two!
-Tosses mic to *John Doe*-
That's about it. And don't bother challenging me. I'm not rapping until the first Tournie, at least.
Let's kick things off with a freestyle session, to let everyone post in and get loosened up.
