As a heads up I'm leaving to go up to the lake for the weekend with my folks. I'll have my tablet and phone with me but with family, downtime is pretty hard to come by so expect little activity from me over the next 48 hours or so. I was debating whether or not I should go but considering my school semester is about to kick into overdrive this winter, a mini vacation wouldn't hurt. So when it comes to CS stuff, I'd rather wait till I'm able to dedicate my full attention to editing and collaborating. So, TalijaKey & Rysmarin I'll need you guys to be a bit more patient with me if possible. Again, I'm sorry. I feel like a bad GM but I have no idea how the wi-fi will be where I'm headed, it honestly sounds like a place where I'm likely to be murdered. I mean "Clearlake"? Come on, I bet a bunch of kids were killed there five years ago by a guy wielding a chainsaw but whatever.

I'll be online a bit longer and then probably check in every couple of hours via phone for any light chit chat around the site but by Sunday afternoon, I should be home and have feedback ready so we can get this back up and rolling.

Very well, then. I wish you a good, safe trip.

Thanks, here's to hoping I don't get murdered. ^^;

I am away for a while ( well, a little long while ) and there is kidnapping and all kind of things. Why is that everytime I am absent somewhere, things tend to happen?

*waves the gm off* enjoy your trip if you find bodies dont scream before checking how fresh they are.

And I am not minding the wait at all ^^~

Oh and make your the Lovecraftain lake monster is not hungry before you jump in!

I'm back, ready to get back to writing! I'll be editing this post with the needed feedback. :3

Cool~ Welcome back nice to see you nothing killing you. ^^

Important Post:

As a note, I will be controlling most of the next post since it will be transitional and will try to bring in the new roles, while doing away with the old ones lost. As a note, these old Correctors may be put on the back burner for being used as enemies in the future, because why not?

Okay, while I'm fiddling with my last essay of this boring class, I have time to finally get to some stuff here...

@Red Fox: Yeah, there was a kidnapping. And hey, you can't expect us to wait around for you! XD In terms of bringing your character back in, I have 1-2 ideas. Your character can either be brought in during my next post, since we all assumed yours had some "family thing" going on and wasn't with the others, they can have been grabbed as well, just not with the group. The other thought was that they're sort of in on the kidnapping, either being told since they were MIA in Soshi's pad or something. The first is probably less complicated though...

@TalijaKey: First off, thanks for sticking around!

That is a weird ass hammer, you'll have to clue me in on its uses or if it's just light and used for close combat.

Now onto the background section, it was a bit hard to read in terms of some sentences just sounding stiff so you may wanna try reading it aloud to work out any kinks that deal with flow and grammar. I know you mentioned you did some editing but it does need some more work, some misspellings and re-wording of sentences...

Then a question I had was regarding his change in demeanor after he came back from visiting the Balkans, he seems more out going which should be a good thing, why would his parents move away from the man who was helping their son? Only to have him begin to act out because of moving away in the first place? Is the parent (grandfather of your character) of the kid's parents not on good terms with whoever his kid is? (Miro's mother or father, whichever side the grandpa is on)

You also mentioned him having bad influences such as bad friends, would these be other bullies?

Overall, I think it does makes sense though I'm always tired of hearing about characters who go through phases of being rotten or angst ridden but the bit about him liking cute things was a fun surprise. In terms of his geographical location, I'm not sure if I missed it or not...did you mention where his grandfather lived and where he lives now? I know he took a break to help his grandfather and he'd like to return now. Would you want him with our group as a new face (someone they know but don't work with) or someone who has been in the group but is returning?

And how old is the grandfather? Considering he's ill, I assume in the 90s?

Anywho, just some feedback. ^^;

@Rysmarin: So sorry about the delay, again.

If you'd like your character to have American influence, that's fine with me. I just want to make sure he'd be in the right position for a Corrector job, it's uncommon for Gvn to accept non-natives into their Corrector program, though world peace has been seemingly established, most countries want to keep their own closer, than say, rely on immigrants.

Okay, that's a better word, I like it.

I think everything is alright...I think I can accept you. In terms of jumping in, I do have a few tiny ideas.

Either he can be from another city or quadrant of JPN and transfer to the Tokyo one, considering the Gvn doesn't know of the kidnapping, he might not come in yet. But if we wanted to bring him in ASAP (probably better), we could do something with Red Fox and your character in terms of them being tipped off about the kidnapping and have them go after the other Correctors, as your own Corrector could be part of the group already (but been MIA?) or as mentioned, a transfer.

-That is a weird ass hammer, you'll have to clue me in on its uses or if it's just light and used for close combat.

me: At first I wasnt too sure how weapons would work. But reading the rp I got a few ideas. Miro tends to use the hammer in close combat. To block and parry with its hilt or to swinging it around in a circular motion. I was thinking of incorporating maybe mid ranged attacks by using the hammer as source of shock wave that would dis balance the opponent if slammed on the ground. Including the enchanting of direct hits, as in amplifying the destruction if the hammer directly hits the opponent. The down side would be that MIlos is slow compared to some other correctors, and simply prefers the close combat.

-Now onto the background section, it was a bit hard to read in terms of some sentences just sounding stiff so you may wanna try reading it aloud to work out any kinks that deal with flow and grammar. I know you mentioned you did some editing but it does need some more work, some misspellings and re-wording of sentences...

I will do it. Its so annoying to read it myself at times as I myself end up cringing to some of the things I wrote. ^^; In posts its easier, as I dont have to focus on a whole life story with 101 things, but just on a handful of scene
Thank you for giving me a chance to fix it. ^^


Then a question I had was regarding his change in demeanor after he came back from visiting the Balkans, he seems more out going which should be a good thing, why would his parents move away from the man who was helping their son? Only to have him begin to act out because of moving away in the first place? Is the parent (grandfather of your character) of the kid's parents not on good terms with whoever his kid is? (Miro's mother or father, whichever side the grandpa is on)

Me: The grandfather would be on the mothers side of the family.
And I was thinking that part from Milos perspective. In his eyes at that young age he may have felt that his parents didnt want him to be influenced by his grandpa as much as he was.
In truth it could have been several disputes, along from possible not fully approving his daughters husband in the first place, to some money problems. The father then moving with his family for a better job and on the plus side not having to deal with the extremely stubborn man. Leaving their son constructing the story in his head that it was because of him enjoying more the time with his grandfather then with his family. Of course once away they wouldnt go visit the man ever weekend, but actually prolonging the time between the visits, which only strengthened the ideas in their sons head why they moved away.

You also mentioned him having bad influences such as bad friends, would these be other bullies?

More like friends who skipped classes, stayed in the street. Thinking school is useless. Sneaking around buildings in construction phrase, and places children were not allowed at all. Dont see Milos sticking with bullies who would beat anyone up at that time. I can see him get in those years in some fights, rarely but could happen. More on the side of brawling then something seriously.

. In terms of his geographical location, I'm not sure if I missed it or not...did you mention where his grandfather lived and where he lives now?

Well, I just mentioned the region not the exact place. His grandpa would be coming from Serbia. But he would have spent his life in Japan, even now he would still live there. At some times the grandpa would go visit his home country but it wouldnt be all too often at all.
When it comes where in Japan the old man lives, anything beside Tokyo would fit. For example Osaka, etc.

But I did left the option open that if Miro's grandfather died, his last wish would be to be buried in the country he comes from. Serbia, meaning Milos could be there for some time. If the geographic fits the story. If not then Milos could just be in Japan the whole time, just in a different city.

I know he took a break to help his grandfather and he'd like to return now. Would you want him with our group as a new face (someone they know but don't work with) or someone who has been in the group but is returning?

Personally, both way could work for me. But if asked for preferences. I would say that my preference would lay in, the situation that he worked with the group before he took the leave for a year or something, and now would wish to surprise them with his returning.

And how old is the grandfather? Considering he's ill, I assume in the 90s?

Considering the status of healthcare in the roleplay, it would make sense him to be 97 years old.

Anywho, just some feedback. ^^;
No problem I love feedback and pointing out my mistakes so I can improve all around ^^
And thinking even deeper about my character.

I'm not sure if Rysmarin is around...so...

> Your explanation of the weapon was very helpful, thank you. I think it could work fine. If you can to edit that into your CS, that'd be great.

> It's no worry, I know speed typing can sometimes be a bit messy. ^^; As far as the further details go which you kindly elaborated for me, you could also add those in for future notices since it does clean up some of the history of who your character is now, compared to who he was. And in terms of the grandfather either living or dying, it is up to you, however easier it is to play Milos. Him being born and raised in Osaka would be fine with me, which means he would be a transfer from that sector of Correctors. If that's the case and what we decide upon, we'll need to decide how he played a part in that group and how/why he's coming to Tokyo.

> Though you also mentioned you'd prefer him to know the group and having taken a break to spend a year or so with his grandfather, which also works for me...we'll still need to lay out the terms of which when he moved to Tokyo (to work and then got hired as a Corrector?) or transferred from Osaka and has been with the Tokyo group for 2-3 years already, taking his break from them into account.

Does that make sense? Ish?

*nods adds the details and explanation to Miros bio and weapon.*

And in terms of the grandfather either living or dying, it is up to you, however easier it is to play Milos.

It would be easier to have the grandpa died of old age, and Milos had used some of the time of his absence to grief over it, too. So he could concerted on his job fully.

we'll still need to lay out the terms of which when he moved to Tokyo (to work and then got hired as a Corrector?) or transferred from Osaka and has been with the Tokyo group for 2-3 years already, taking his break from them into account.
Not too picky XP what ever works the best really.
I think the first option was closer to my first idea. His family could have moved to Tokyo, for work. Him going there some bit in school and then work, getting hired as Corrector.

But the transfer may work better as the group would know him but not be super close to him, for example, he could have spend his days under the superior within the Osaka department. And because of his living place, and work was transferred to Tokyo.

hm.... choose the idea that works better for the story. If its up to me...I may just use my trusty coin to decide on which option to chose.

Hmm. I think the idea of him having moved to Tokyo (time up to you) and being with the current group but having to leave for his grandfather, would be the cleanest way to bring him back without dealing with too much fluff (ex: introductions and the like) so that could work for me!

I'm probably still in for this, just having a few issues.

Anyway, I'll make a few minor adjustments to my character's history shortly in acquiescence to your preference, Genkai... As for how to bring him in, if it is possible to have Brandt move into the area and be tipped off to local events shortly thereafter, that would be ideal for me. However, if it's easier, perhaps he simply took a trip to America to visit his mother father?

What sort of issues? The RP? Or RL? I know you're not a talker but for the sake of keeping at least me (as GM) in the loop, I would like to know if you're unsettled by something, and see if we can fix it.

As I mentioned, I'd really prefer for the sake of not having anymore "special exceptions" for characters who aren't native (being native IS a requirement for any Corrector) and for the sake of the plot's logic, he really ought to be FROM Japan. Now whether he's lived in America for some time, or in another part of Japan (not Tokyo per say) is up to you but it would be easier on the characters' part if they weren't just accepting help from a transfer, and that at least 1-2 people knew him or that he's been with the group before and had to take a leave like TalijaKey's role and possibly Red Fox, if they're still around.

It's just a few personal issues IRL stressing me out, not the RP. I'm presently attempting to work them out, so don't worry about it.

Also, I apologize. I never intended to make it seem that I meant for him to be from America again. I just had something of a lapse in my logic concerning my character's time line, caused by overlooking a few key details therein. I think I'm going to more or less rewrite some of his bio to show this, but his biological mother is Japanese, and he chose to live with her rather than his father after their divorce. I assume that is enough to make him a citizen of Japan for the purposes of this RP?

Edit: Forgot to mention this a moment ago, but since you prefer that he be from the Tokyo area... Instead of having him move in, as I suggested previously, he could have been visiting his father's side of the family in the US. Would this be sufficient?

Oh okay, I'm still sorry to hear that.

That's okay, mistakes happen. ^^; And yeah, that should be fine then.

In your edit, you mentioned him visiting his father in the US, do you mean when we're starting to introduce you now...?

While I have half my post finished, I'd like to know those involved are still interested this (OOC) needs to be more active so we're all excited and on the same page. :3

I am here~~ Yes it should be more active. *thinks of what to say*....

Oh well the weather is nice here. ^^ //shot for weather talk

I'm around still.

hi.