I forgot to add that the posts were really great. Thank you. I'll try to get a reply out as soon as possible. ;)

I hope you get paid for taking care of him. Tods can be a handful. :|

I'm really sorry. I'm just having a mental break down. Okay? So I'm going to take a break from role playing, so it can be one less anxiety. I love the rps and everything, but I feel like I can't do anything justice and I keep having to make people wait and that's not fair. I have legit reasons, but there are too many of them piling up. Illness, family drama, you name it. It's one thing after another. But mostly, it's just me. I'm just really sick. Deep down.

So I'm taking a break from pretend. I wish sometimes you could take a break from real life as well.

I'm guessing this RP will need to be put on hold as well since it is such a small group. Or you guys can go on without me. I'd understand. (By this I mean someone taking over as the temporary GM and playing Nixie until I come back or if that is not your style, feel free to adapt the idea and make a new RP. Just don't copy paste from my OOC.)

I'm sorry.

I had this heartfelt write out of what I am feeling right now and I was going to message it to one of my friends. She used to be my best online friend but she suffers from anxiety and everything and doesn't talk to me anymore, but only every 5,6,7 months and barely a message from here or there. I initiate every conversation. We used to talk 24/7 for a good 4-5 years, but now she avoids everything to do with her "past life" because it is hard on her. She moved from Maine to Sweden to be with her boyfriend, which was a big culture shock for her since she has a phobia of social situations and being around people in general. I guess this is why she started to shut everyone out.

I want to send her the message, but maybe my reasons are just selfish. I want my best friend back but I know things change for a reason and we don't always like the changes.(Maybe I just wish I still had someone I could share those words with and not feel judged. She used to get me like we were twin sisters.)

When I'm like this, I ramble. But you can see the state my mind has been in. I'm not feeling creative at all. I'll just crawl under some rocks because now I've probably embarrassed myself. I should not be around the computer when I'm upset.

:/ Naw, it's ok dude. There are just times where everything piles up and we try to swallow it slowly, one by one, but we already made a mountain of it, so it hurts so much even in minuscule chunks. Just get your life sorted out, see how it goes with your best friend.. Take care of yourself please.

On the other hand, I would like to continue this RP, so if it's ok with you, I'd like to find one other person to fill in the role. We'll probably just kill off Nixie or something, or make her ride off to permanently live with the dolphins, LOL.

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Hey, I think some hot chocolate and a good rest might clear your head up a bit. You seem really distressed and overwhelmed, and honestly, another thing to stress over is not something that you need right now. We'll handle the RP, we're ok. Like I said, you take care of you. Go see a doctor or a therapist, it might help, although you more than likely already did that.

We don't know for sure how long you'll be gone, so let's say it's going to be extended, like a month or so. If you're not back within a month, I guess adding a new character sounds plausible for me. Idk about how the others feel about that.

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I'm thinking this could probably do with being put on hold, I understand what you're saying Maki but Nixie and Rarity are a rather important part of this RP ^^' Killing Nixie off wouldn't be viable it doesn't fit into the setting, lets be honest...and considering where the RP is at, we'd be at a loss as of where our characters would go for answers etc. I'm going to suggest/vote this be put on hold for the time being, not sure about you guys but I'm personally willing to wait it out.

And Rarity as I've said before, please take all the time you need! You'll have at least one person willing to continue this with you when you come back (Even if it is the one with the mermaid sporting the least important power ^^')

Yes she is important, but she did give us permission to keep going if we wanted to. I don't know if you realize this, but depression and any other potential disorder that she could be dealing with right now WILL take a while to get under control. If we hold up the RP to wit for her, I think she will feel even worse and guilty about it, even though it's not her fault. She did say she would take a break, and that's why I said I'd wait for a month or so for her to see if she gets well enough to continue. If not, then we can conclude that she needs to sort her life out before anything else, especially over an RP.

Hey Rarity I was wondering if your RP was still open? i'd like to join it again.

Hey dude, I'm sorry, but Rarity is kinda... having issues right now. We're currently waiting to see if we are going to continue the RP, hold off until a month before continuing, or holding off altogether until Rarity gets back.

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The killing off Nixie part wasn't the end all of the solution, but I thought you would be gone for a really long time, so that was the first thing that came to mind. I'm sorry it came off as insensitive to you, but I did try to suggest other workarounds that did not involve killing her, like her wanting to go live with her dolphin friends for a while. I really apologize that it seemed that way to you, but I only mentioned the guilty and such part so that you wouldn't have to worry about making people wait. I'm kind of socially inept, so the things I say that attempt at diffusing a situation can really put off people. I really am sorry that I hurt you, and I thank you for pointing that out.

On the other hand, there is no need for you to accuse me of prioritizing RPing over real life, and even though I understand you have a lot going on, that's a pretty shit thing to accuse of a person just because I like the RP enough to want to continue while you deal with your life. I'm the one who's been telling you to go and rest and not worry about the RP for this one, BECAUSE I FUCKING KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO DEAL WITH MENTAL DISORDERS AND I DO NOT DOWNPLAY ITS EFFECTS AND ITS POWER, EVER. It's like you don't even read what I wrote in the OOC, trying to be supportive (even though I understand how it could come off as dismissive, it was a genuine attempt at empathy and understanding) and then you come and tell me that I prioritize THIS FANTASY WORLD OVER A REAL PERSON'S LIFE? Are you really fucking shitting me?

And if that's what you guys decide on, so be it. I'll just wait. Kick me out if you want because of what I said, but I hope you didn't expect me to just bend over and grovel apologies at your feet, considering your accusation.

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Maki Casanova said
Kick me out if you want because of what I said, but I hope you didn't expect me to just bend over and grovel apologies at your feet, considering your accusation.

People don't have to curse to come off as rude and dismissive, and the fact that you addressed nothing in my post aside from my "cursing and yelling", as if you didn't even read the substance, tells me there is nothing else to be said. Just go, and I really, sincerely hope that everything works out for you in the long run.