So, I'm going to take a couple risks here; one, the fact that this is more of a mature topic (BDSM/sex/etc.), and I'm not sure if it is appropriate to talk about here: and two, that many people might actually just dismiss this post in general, or bad mouth it.

Anyways! In case anyone hasn't heard about it (and let's face it, almost eeeeveryone has), there is a movie coming out based off of the book Fifty Shades of Grey. What I want to talk about, are general thoughts and feelings about the book, the movie, and probably the dynamic in general.

As a Dominant, myself, my main concern about this book is that it totally misinforms the public about BDSM. The mantra that all of us kinksters know is, "safe, sane, and consensual." This being said, let it be known that Christian Grey is, in every sense, an abuser. Not only does he stalk Anastasia, but takes her home, undresses and changes her (while she is DRUNK), then tells her he is going to keep tabs on her for "her benefit."

Also, a big part of the relationship (especially concerning after a session) is aftercare. Scenes can be very traumatizing, and it is imperative that the Dom provides aftercare. What does Christian do after submitting Ana to her first (and very traumatizing, I might add) experience? Leave. Yep. That's right folks, he leaves, and on top of that, gets mad at Ana for not telling him she was hurt, even though a true Dom would have stayed and provided care anyway.

Now, concerning the "consentual" part of the relationship that was absent in this book, he undresses her while she is drunk. He tracks her phone. Sends a shit ton of emails and texts, that in some parts of the books, make her uncomfortable. He also buys her a car, despite the fact that she refuses many times. And let's look at the way Christian asks for a woman who has never, ever been in any BDSM relationship in her life; a contract. A list of kinks and rules. He doesn't even give the poor girl any information on the topic. He just gives her an ultimatum, "sign this or you don't get me." And sure, she could have looked herself, but that's not what a responsible Dom would have a potential sub/girlfriend do, especially one that has never been in a relationship like this before.

Anyway, those are more or less my thoughts on the book, and movie, that is going to do nothing good (other than maybe vaguely showing people what BDSM is), for anyone. In fact, it most likely will show guys it's okay to be a total ass hole, and an abusive fuck, and it's going to tell women that all it takes to be in a relationship like that is just being used. Moreover, it's going to show couples that all BDSM is is spankings and rough sex, which it isn't.

I'd love to know what you guys think. So, comment below. That's just my (and a lot of the community's) take on it.

An extremely mediocre book produces an extremely mediocre movie for those with an extremely deprived sex life and repressed imagination.

Something I can skip and do without, really.

I heard it was written excessively in first person narrative from the perspective of each main character.

So after prolouge: nope.

I am just going to state that I did not like these books.

They were made to fulfill people’s fantasy not educate anyone about BDSM.

I think they mixed up the words. Instead of dominate he should have been referred to as domineering. He came off as a reclusive tyrant and cared little for the safety and well-being of Anastasia both mentally and physically. It was his way or no way & that is unacceptable to any submissive. Everything should be explained as so the sub can feel safe and understand what they are getting into. The book seemed like a private look into a relationship going sour leading into inevitable irrevocable abuse. Basically she couldn't say no or voice her concerns to Christian and trust in a relationship such as that is mandatory. It was difficult to read at times, at least for me. There is also so much more in the world of BDSM than spanking!

Christian Grey has clearly not conquered his own demons & takes that out on Anastasia. In my opinion, he makes for an unfitting Dom in several categories. The thing that many people might think of when they read the books or see the movie is that he got into BDSM because of his harrowing childhood. That isn’t the case with all subs/doms.

I don’t know. It was a bit ridiculous if you know a few things about BDSM or are practicing it, and since I have too dabbled in such things I found it quite um, uncomfortable to say the least.

Am I the only one who has a mother who was really excited for this movie? :/

Though, to answer seriously (Note, I comment as someone who has absolutely zero interest in ever seeing the book or movie).

Gonzo said Not only does he stalk Anastasia, but takes her home, undresses and changes her (while she is DRUNK), then tells her he is going to keep tabs on her for "her benefit."

Gonzo said What does Christian do after submitting Ana to her first (and very traumatizing, I might add) experience? Leave. Yep. That's right folks, he leaves, and on top of that, gets mad at Ana for not telling him she was hurt

Gonzo said he undresses her while she is drunk. He tracks her phone. Sends a shit ton of emails and texts, that in some parts of the books, make her uncomfortable.

Gonzo said In fact, it most likely will show guys it's okay to be a total ass hole, and an abusive fuck

This basically just sounds like Twilight (Which scaringly enough, my Mom is also crazy over... My Mom has issues with taste in books and movies :/).
Like seriously, this is the same routine over and over again now.

Guy's an abusive prick, but he's dark and mysterious about it... and dangerous, so girls gush over it completely forgetting the fact that the dude is a fucking manipulative asshole! >.<
Based on your description, the only point I can give 50 shades over Twilight is that at least the Girl isn't also a manipulative/abusive bitch.

Gonzo said -A bunch of BDSM stuff-

By the way you spoke in this I assume you take part in BDSM frequently?

I myself am a Virgin, so I have zero sex experience... let alone experience in kinks.
But I do know people into that shit, and from what I understand from them it really is a insanely caring and loving practice.
Just one that's constantly painted by media to be bad and dark because it involves bindings, and some level of (consensual) pain.

But honestly? That is hardly surprising.
We live in a society where sex is still a hugely taboo thing, where stuff like "No sex until marriage" are still very common concept's and practices. And where people like me who are "Save sex for someone you love" is also very common. A lot of people see Sex as primarily a bad thing save for certain circumstances, as a taboo thing. It makes sense then that more extreme versions then are seen with a shade of negativity (Pun not intended) and a lot of the fans/readers of such book are drawn into it cause of the mysterious/danger factor.

Essentially, if casual sex was more widely accepted and more people were willing to try non-traditional forms of it I don't think stuff like 50 Shades of Grey would have nearly as many misconceptions made, nor would such books have such a big following in the first place.

Gwazi, if it sounds a lot like Twilight, that's because it literally started off as Twilight fan fiction, if I remember correctly.

As for the book itself, no intention to read it. I don't know why this piece of trashy erotica became more of a sensation than the next, as as far as I'm concerned, it might as well be the exact same thing as enjoying a porn movie. It's meant to fulfill the same function. Just don't pretend it's a classier alternative because you have to imagine slapping genitals instead of being shown them.

That's all I got.

I remember hearing that before, it does make perfect sense honestly.
Though different element's of Twilight can also be seen in things such as Warm Bodies (Though admittedly that's more 'I love dead things' than 'I love bad boys'.

Manga even has similliar plot lines...
I mean there's one called "Yami no Purple eye" where essentially this girl can turn into a panther. She has a boyfriend who insults her and beats her constantly, a boyfriend whose reaction to some men trying to rape her was "How dare you go outside and put yourself in danger!", but he's painted as a good guy. This girl actually ends up getting raped by another boy... and the Manga shows genuine sympathy and care for the guy.

There's a lot more horrid shit to it, but that brief description basically get's across the whole these guys are obviously complete shit heads... But their idolized. And this is a Manga that constantly gets high praise... Just think about that, a Manga whose hero beats their girlfriend, get's mad at her for being raped, and shows sympathy to the rapist is a highly praised Manga.

Magic Magnum said Manga even has similliar plot lines...I mean there's one called "Yami no Purple eye" where essentially this girl can turn into a panther. She has a boyfriend who insults her and beats her constantly, a boyfriend whose reaction to some men trying to rape her was "How dare you go outside and put yourself in danger!", but he's painted as a good guy. This girl actually ends up getting raped by another boy... and the Manga shows genuine sympathy and care for the guy. There's a lot more horrid shit to it, but that brief description basically get's across the whole these guys are obviously complete shit heads... But their idolized. And this is a Manga that constantly gets high praise... Just think about that, a Manga whose hero beats their girlfriend, get's mad at her for being raped, and shows sympathy to the rapist is a highly praised Manga.

/japan

It just glorifies the pleasure aspect of sex and not the fact sex is meant to bring husband and wife together into a covenental bond (sorry my inner theologian speaking there). I think it's absolutely going to be a box office flop, I'm sure many Christain groups are going to urge people not to see the movie. I am not going to see the movie, I have better things to see in theaters.

If there's only one thing I liked about the trailer is that new version of Crazy in Love by Beyonce. My lord was that a hot version of a great song.

Anyway, I feel the series glorifies the pleasure of sex and not the fact it's to bring married couples closer in a Covenental bond.

Anyway, these are my thoughts and I don't want this to start a theological war.

I couldn't give less of a fuck about it.

Pfroggy1 said It just glorifies the pleasure aspect of sex and not the fact sex is meant to bring husband and wife together into a covenental bond (sorry my inner theologian speaking there). I think it's absolutely going to be a box office flop, I'm sure many Christain groups are going to urge people not to see the movie. I am not going to see the movie, I have better things to see in theaters.If there's only one thing I liked about the trailer is that new version of Crazy in Love by Beyonce. My lord was that a hot version of a great song.Anyway, I feel the series glorifies the pleasure of sex and not the fact it's to bring married couples closer in a Covenental bond. Anyway, these are my thoughts and I don't want this to start a theological war.

I'll respect your desire to not have a theological war simply by saying that I disagree in sex being mainly about partnership and not pleasure.

However I do feel the need to point out that other movies get a bad reputation among Christians as well such as Harry Potter or Paul, and they are still very successful.

I am concerned over the fact that its a incredible missrepresentation of BDSM and lifestyle like it. The Dominant in this is more of a manipulative and obsessive stalker then a Mentor/Teacher/Master.. A person who exorcises his own inner demons as leviathan put it. The person who wrote it had at the moment of writing, no real experience in it and just wrote what essentially was her rapefatnasy and flavored it with BDSM, trying to pass of knowing about it. What Leviathan and OP wrote is correct. I had a terribly uneasy feeling reading the thing and I know the book led to alot of women getting the wrong image of what a D/s relationship is about. I myself have been in the lifestyle for years, and there has been a recent influx of people that while welcomed, had a really skewed view of it. Granted, it isn't usually to difficult to speak with them and provide some insight to how things are meant to be. Pretty much everyone agrees Trust and agreement in a mutual benefit relationship is far more alluring then being a piece of meat for some domineering emotional tyrant.

Y'know, I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and play Devil's Advocate for a moment. Just a moment.

#1: This is fantasy being played out by adults. Nobody sane goes raping people, but rape fantasies aren't uncommon. Nobody wants to get fucked by tentacles in real life, but there are people who enjoy that shit all the time. Last I checked, nobody was running around burning Hentai for fear that it might inspire people to rape Japanese school girls and attempt to make sweet love to the local Zoo's eight armed octopus.

#2: Most people who are not completely insanely retarded will just go look up what BDSM is after they watch this movie and inevitable stumble upon this kind of safety information anyway. The people who want to jump right into a BDSM relationship because of this movie without even looking up what it is, would have done so based on any other influence anyway.

#3: This is a mediocre book by an author that is genuinely surprised that it got anywhere near this popular being made into a mediocre movie for people who want to explore a fantasy.

Really that's about it. People worried that this will spread misinformation about BDSM should realize that even a cursory Google of BDSM, especially related to this movie, will bring up all the things wrong about how it portrays it and how safety is emphasized and so on. In fact, I'll just go on and say that all this movie is doing is making BDSM more mainstream, which makes it more culturally acceptable to talk about and explore, gradually, as the social barriers erected against it are slowly chipped away by even this mediocre crap.

Do I think this is going to be a good movie? No. The source material was pretty meh. The movie will be pretty meh. It'll be forgotten about in five months.

Stop thinking this'll create a sudden rash case of horrible rapes and abusive relationships. This won't, at least, not to any degree as to make it remotely worth the time of being a legitimate concern in comparison to lack of education and societal intolerance of the entire subject matter altogether.

Haven't we been having the debate over (insert media content here) is corrupting the hearts and mind of (insert demographic here) since the dawn of civilization? Watching trashy erotic fiction isn't going to make people abusive BDSM assholes anymore than playing Doom gave Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold the idea to shoot up Columbine High School. People are much better at separating reality from fiction than anyone gives them credit for, period.

I'm pretty sure if anyone tries anything they see in the movie, it'll probably be mutually agreed upon and if it's uncomfortable, they'll stop and move on. 50 Shades of Grey is hardly a world changing phenomena, it's poorly contrived erotica that somehow captured the imaginations of women everywhere and left men shrugging about what the big deal is while they go back to Google Image Search and Redtube with a box of Kleenex. We'll probably here about one or two cases of BDSM going bad afterwards (still haven't heard anything really after the books hit it off big), but that's like when Jackass: The Movie came out and a few idiots made the news because they hurt themselves in spectacularly stupid ways. Given how the news isn't exactly the most reliable source of unbiased information these days, it plays up the very few events that do occur like it's a huge trend that's sweeping the nation instead of the machinations of guys who probably would have been sniffing glue if they didn't go to the movies that night.

Brovo. Only there has been a massive surge in interest towards kink due to the book. Most people I met who read the book and got interested in BDSM came in with really skewed view on things. People who come to meetings and munches and believe they know about D/s becouse they read the book. It happens more often then I'd like it to. I am talking from my experience in the matter, as I have been part of the local scene for years now. And the feeling in general where I live is pretty much the same. So yes, it does have a quite noticable effect. Atleast for us who are bound to be affected by it.

Brovo said Really that's about it. People worried that this will spread misinformation about BDSM should realize that even a cursory Google of BDSM, especially related to this movie, will bring up all the things wrong about how it portrays it and how safety is emphasized and so on. In fact, I'll just go on and say that all this movie is doing is making BDSM more mainstream, which makes it more culturally acceptable to talk about and explore, gradually, as the social barriers erected against it are slowly chipped away by even this mediocre crap.

Hellis said Most people I met who read the book and got interested in BDSM came in with really skewed view on things. People who come to meetings and munches and believe they know about D/s becouse they read the book.

People came due to their own interest in the subject. You educated them otherwise based on your experience within the scene. They either left enlightened to knowing that it is merely a fantasy or they found a new lifestyle to partake in and enjoy.

I honestly have no idea how this is in any way bad for you. Maybe inconvenient at best... But, well, that just comes with having something you enjoy getting more attention from the general public. I mean, I've been a gamer my whole life as an example. I literally lived through gaming going from a closeted nerd hobby to something that literally everyone does on their phone when they're bored. I still meet complete fucking idiots who have no idea what gaming culture is at all, but I just talk to them about it and either their interest is piqued and they learn more or they don't and they leave.

... Problem fucking solved.

I think people are more pissed about the "Getting a wrong idea about BDSM" aspect than they were about the "This will cause binding rapists" thing.

Personally though, my only real issue with the book is basically how it causes almost every girl to gush over what is essentially an abusive relationship. It seriously makes me question if most women either have fantasies of being abused, or sincere caring relationships are just so rare that they can't tell the difference between a caring relationship and an abusive one.

Magic Magnum said
I think people are more pissed about the "Getting a wrong idea about BDSM" aspect than they were about the "This will cause binding rapists" thing.Personally though, my only real issue with the book is basically how it causes almost every girl to gush over what is essentially an abusive relationship. It seriously makes me question if most women either have fantasies of being abused, or sincere caring relationships are just so rare that they can't tell the difference between a caring relationship and an abusive one.

Or it's just a fantasy like people have for... Anything you can imagine. I mean just look at this. Look at it. Look at the sheer amount of things that people will get all hot and bothered for. One of those is literally just fire.

People everywhere have deranged fantasies of some sort, sexual or not. That's perfectly normal... We all have dark impulses, it's part of how four billion years of cutthroat evolution works. We have a single brain, in which every single compulsion and desire is stored. It'd be extraordinarily abnormal for them not to cross over into each other's domains.

I know, but it's the sheer quantity of girls who fall for things such as Twilight or 50 shades of Grey. It's not a handful of people with one of 1000's of turn ons. It's a very large if not majority sized portion of the female sex.