[OOC] Bleach: A New Dawn (Page 1003)

For starters his last name, Tenshi, it’s realistic that people have the same last names and first. Rarely both, but to put it out there I have a character whose last name is Tenshi. Just putting that out there.

Second, his appearance. Kurisa used that for a Zanpakuto spirit, it’s changed but I’m sure it’s still important to his story. Something for Kurisa to speak on but I would suggest changing it anyways, just my take on it.

Now onto his personality, where I see you constantly contradict yourself…

drallinix said He is quiet, but not reserved. He enjoys being around people he likes and is outspoken then.

I mean, a quiet person is a quiet person either way it goes. But that one is fine…Just a minor nitpick, I guess?

drallinix said When around crowds or people he doesn't know he is uncomfortable. Women in general make him uncomfortable, but he can talk to them like normal.

If he doesn’t know he’s uncomfortable (Which I think is damn near impossible honestly. Sure you can question if you are or aren’t and be conflicted, but….), then how does he know he’s uncomfortable around women?

drallinix said He dislikes vain people.”
“He then joined when he could and now wishes to find a seat amongst squad 11.

ಠ_ಠ

drallinix said He will say how he feels regardless of who he is around and doesn't mind conflict.

But…He’s quiet….I don’t understand how someone could be quiet but say how they feel regardless of who they are around, a bit contradicting. Unless he’s quiet until on the topic of his feelings, if that’s the case then fair enough it’s just bad formatting.

drallinix said He grew up in the soul society as a slave.

T..That’s it? That’s all for that subject? Not gonna shine anymore light on that? Alright, I’m sure you’ll go into detail about everything el-

drallinix said He trained for years as a child to master his sword techniques.

drallinix said extreme speed and sword proficiency

…Ok, guess you aren’t gonna go into detail about everything else. Would help understand and get to know your character better, also would be nice to know how you get the extreme speed and extreme sword proficiency. But that’s a thing for another time it looks like.

Now onto your Zanpakuto…As for the spirit I’m not sure how that’d work exactly. Considering Zanpakuto Spirits are different spirits they wouldn’t look exactly like you unless you’re taking the term, Zanpakuto are a reflection of yourself, very literal. This also goes back to the earlier statement of your appearance.

drallinix said Lions claw He flash steps past the opponent and slashes them with his sword while it is infused with golden spiritual energy. Greatly increasing its cutting power.(cooldown 1 post)

The minimum cool down is two post to avoid spamming. I think this ability should have 2 – 3 at least.

drallinix said burning earth He stabs the end of his blade into the ground and gold flames erupt from the ground in a line towards his opponent.(cool down 2 posts)

I mean it is a linear attack, but I think a two post CD would be too quick even still. Bump it to four atleast.

drallinix said Kings cloak Gold spiritual energy envelops him. It appears like golden flames surrounding his entire body giving off an unearthly glow. These flames burn anything but him that they touch and extend along his sword as well.(lasts 4 posts has a 5 post cooldown)

I’m fine with it if everyone else is.

drallinix said Phoenix He uses an immense amount of spiritual pressure to heal his wounds(takes a lot of his spiritual energy only usable once every three days)

Fair enough.

Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Nicias Askani

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When around crowds or people he doesn't know he is uncomfortable.

When around crowds or people he doesn't know, he is uncomfortable.

do you see the difference?

Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Expllo

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Nicias Askani said
When around crowds or people he doesn't know he is uncomfortable.
When around crowds or people he doesn't know, he is uncomfortable.
do you see the difference?

Yeah, David just informed me.

....Still, bad writing on their part. Understandable misunderstanding, here, have a nana

Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zane620

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Nic it really still doesnt make sense. Cause he will argue with people despite being uncomfortable around people?

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