Feisty-Pants said
Okay...here goes nothing I suppose. WIP.How is this so far?

First thing I notice:

Don't we already have a dragon...?

There's something about her powers that I'd like rewritten, and one thing changed entirely. Her Dragon Breath: It's okay if you write that her breath is more powerful than average, but going so far as to say that it's "threefold", or three times as powerful, is a bit too specific and, I'll admit, falls into powerplay. You wrote in the description that she's sleeker and faster, so her raw strength and firepower would suffer from that: less bulk = less muscle, but more speed.

Then there's her speed: A Dragon can be fast, sure, but the Demons are the ones who thrive in speed and even they would not be able to run/fly several hundred km/h. So while she's fast, fast enough to fly from a slower aircraft, she can't outfly one of the fastest. As for her intellect, she is the same person when she changes, so she's no smarter or dumber. She just has a new body with new abilities, and while her strength and speed may change, she doesn't get smarter. And again, remember, since you go for a sleeker dragon, you'll be giving up strength and a little bit of defense for speed and agility.

I'm sorry I'm so hard on you, but this is an advanced RP, so there are certain standards :/

Monochromatic Rainbow said
First thing I notice:Don't we already have a dragon...?

We had someone who wanted to be a dragon, but their character wasn't approved and there was a lot of contradictions in character and behavior that didn't make any sense, not to mention history.

Monochromatic Rainbow said
First thing I notice:Don't we already have a dragon...?

Yes and no. I haven't gotten any word back from Littlemist for quite some time, so I pretty much assume that she has left us at this point.

Edit:
And for you, Feisty: I assume that she doesn't have elfine ears as a human, right? Just want to point it out since, well, humans don't have pointy ears like that :)

Working on more edits then.

kapuchu said
Yes and no. I haven't gotten any word back from Littlemist for quite some time, so I pretty much assume that she has left us at this point.Edit:And for you, Feisty: I assume that she doesn't have elfine ears as a human, right? Just want to point it out since, well, humans don't have pointy ears like that :)

Does that mean I get to reclaim the sucky parent award for the RP?

Monochromatic Rainbow said
Does that mean I get to reclaim the sucky parent award for the RP?

Probably, the stuff Alice's dad did sounds like the parenting shown in HANNA.

I think my shifter is more of a Demon: the Manticore. More sneakiness and cleverness and speed than strength. Jabs with his tail, for sure, but they aren't going to be like punches; it'll rely on lightning-speed and penetration to get the job done, than bashing the enemy's skull in.

EldritchOne said
Probably, the stuff Alice's dad did sounds like the parenting shown in HANNA.

Monochromatic Rainbow said
Does that mean I get to reclaim the sucky parent award for the RP?

Just ignore the orphaned girl who never had any fucking parents and left her to rot on the street :p

WilsonTurner said
I think my shifter is more of a Demon: the Manticore. More sneakiness and cleverness and speed than strength. Jabs with his tail, for sure, but they aren't going to be like punches; it'll rely on lightning-speed and penetration to get the job done, than bashing the enemy's skull in.

You may go for that, but unless you make it rather small (humanoid sized, a great dane-bear-sized thing) it'll be a Titan. If you make it that small, it can go under Demon.

kapuchu said
Just ignore the orphaned girl who never had any fucking parents and left her to rot on the street :p

Depends whether you consider a lack of parents worse than a parent who is training you into single purpose tool of war, I'd argue the latter was worse simply because its prolonged and physical abuse rather than Lily's non existent parents who aren't there to abuse her, despite leaving her in an ultrashit situation.

EldritchOne said
Depends whether you consider a lack of parents worse than a parent who is training you into single purpose tool of war, I'd argue the latter was worse simply because its prolonged and physical abuse rather than Lily's non existent parents who aren't there to abuse her, despite leaving her in an ultrashit situation.

I'd say Lily would argue against it, saying that being abandoned like that, to watch with envy as all other kids were picked up by their parents while knowing that she herself would never experience that, was worse than parents who pushed you to the edge and beyond. At least they had parents, she'd argue.

Which makes me think... I wonder how Ikari would react if Lily started calling her "Mom" xD Might make Ikari a sort of mother-figure for her, or rather, have Lily see her like that.

kapuchu said
I'd say Lily would argue against it, saying that being abandoned like that, to watch with envy as all other kids were picked up by their parents while knowing that she herself would never experience that, was worse than parents who pushed you to the edge and beyond. At least they had parents, she'd argue. Which makes me think... I wonder how Ikari would react if Lily started calling her "Mom" xD Might make Ikari a sort of mother-figure for her, or rather, have Lily see her like that.

Yeah, there is huge psychological abuse happening there, but thats also present in Alice as well, plus Lily's parents never brought about a situation were one of her limbs had to be replaced with cybernetics, which Alice's did. Overall though, I'd say you both had pretty shit parents. Sindri's were nice, honest people, but they died way too early for him to not feel some psyche trauma over it, especially his Mum who basically gave up on fighting the cancer after the death of her husband and left him alone in the world, he's pretty insecure about that.

Personally I don't know whether to consider Lily calling Ikari "Mom" would be cute or just kinda disturbing, depends how you show it.

I'm still unsure about the personality of my character. Vicious? Simply silent and cold? Idk. He'll be distanced, for sure, but there will be two things for someone to get him if they want him to be friendly: Fruit mixes, like a bowl of pineapple and strawberries and stuff, and desserts. :3

Food bribes = good with my character.

Maybe he'll be more like the lazy type, but once he gets going he doesn't stop

WilsonTurner said
I'm still unsure about the personality of my character. Vicious? Simply silent and cold? Idk. He'll be distanced, for sure, but there will be two things for someone to get him if they want him to be friendly: Fruit mixes, like a bowl of pineapple and strawberries and stuff, and desserts. :3Food bribes = good with my character.Maybe he'll be more like the lazy type, but once he gets going he doesn't stop

You shouldn't make up a personality. The personality should be a byproduct of his background: Why did he become as he is?

kapuchu said
Just ignore the orphaned girl who never had any fucking parents and left her to rot on the street :p

I'd always thought they'd died and left her on the street. If they're still alive and left her because they didn't want her... damn.
Wait, if she never had any parents was she grown in a test tube?
It's the 'Luminati! They're the ones behind this!

But hey, it seems that all of us have a lot of suck in our backstories, no clear winner there.

EldritchOne said
Yeah, there is huge psychological abuse happening there, but thats also present in Alice as well, plus Lily's parents never brought about a situation were one of her limbs had to be replaced with cybernetics, which Alice's did. Overall though, I'd say you both had pretty shit parents. Sindri's were nice, honest people, but they died way too early for him to not feel some psyche trauma over it, especially his Mum who basically gave up on fighting the cancer after the death of her husband and left him alone in the world, he's pretty insecure about that.Personally I don't know whether to consider Lily calling Ikari "Mom" would be cute or just kinda disturbing, depends how you show it.

Both did indeed have shit childhoods, so let's stick with that :P

As for the whole mom thing... I'm not sure if she'd outright say it, but she might view her as a motherfigure simply because of how much they are alike (the nine tails and that), and because she has never really had anyone she could call a parent save perhaps Max.

Monochromatic Rainbow said
I'd always thought they'd and left her on the street. If they're still alive and left her because they didn't want her... damn.Wait, if she never had any parents was she grown in a test tube? It's the 'Luminati! They're the ones behind this!But hey, it seems that all of us have a lot of suck in our backstories, no clear winner there.

Lily does have parents... but why she was orphaned. Who knows? Perhaps Max is her biological dad who just lost his home and did his best to take care of her? :p I actually don't know, but eh xD

EldritchOne said
Yeah, there is huge psychological abuse happening there, but thats also present in Alice as well, plus Lily's parents never brought about a situation were one of her limbs had to be replaced with cybernetics, which Alice's did. Overall though, I'd say you both had pretty shit parents. Sindri's were nice, honest people, but they died way too early for him to not feel some psyche trauma over it, especially his Mum who basically gave up on fighting the cancer after the death of her husband and left him alone in the world, he's pretty insecure about that.Personally I don't know whether to consider Lily calling Ikari "Mom" would be cute or just kinda disturbing, depends how you show it.

Just to add on a little, but that contract whereby her dad's company paid for the leg, she had no legal say. It was basically "Hey kid, I'm replacing the leg I caused you to lose and signing you on as a soldier for the same company with or without your consent, Now get on the ground and give me fifty!"

I work them together, but I always work out how he'll be like, first. It's a sort of guidelines, and as I make a personality, I make a story with it. Then I just elaborate and extend on the little version I make

WilsonTurner said
I work them together, but I always work out how he'll be like, first. It's a sort of guidelines, and as I make a personality, I make a story with it. Then I just elaborate and extend on the little version I make

Alright. That works :)

Anywho, guys. I'ma head off. Night!