Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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If Wilson's ok with it, Kapu, you feel like starting the fireworks?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by EldritchOne
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Praise my Dark Masters in the inner cosmos, another essay down! Just one more to go! :D
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by kapuchu
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Might get one up tonight. Or possibly tomorrow. I dunno. The next 2~days are pretty busy.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by EldritchOne
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kapuchu said
Might get one up tonight. Or possibly tomorrow. I dunno. The next 2~days are pretty busy.


Same, Will be clear tomorrow though, so that means I can contribute again soon.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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kapuchu said
Might get one up tonight. Or possibly tomorrow. I dunno. The next 2~days are pretty busy.


I'll be busy basically till the holiday season, but my skills at making time have improved significantly since the beginning of In Nomine over yonder.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by WilsonTurner
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I'm hella busy with school until holidays as well. Probably gonna be hella busy during holidays, too. But I'll cram time in for posts if you guys can be a bit patient with me. :)
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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Wilson, I'm not the GM, but you're definitely gonna have to explain why he's somehow got the martial capabilities of the Dragonborn. And Kapu has stated prior, you have an itty bitty bit of magic as a human, not enough to give sudden faster stronger better abilities, and certainly not the ability to spit poison as a human. If that's supposed to be for shifted form, then list it under powers.

Abilities: What you as a human can do (IE, Lily is fast and nimble because of her time on the streets, Alice is fast, strong, and knows her way around weapons because of the training she went through, Sindri is nimble from practicing parkour, etc...)

Powers: What you as a shifter can do, this is where the faster, stronger, spitting venom, armored hide, etc... come into play.

Kapu, of course, can correct me whenever, I'm simply trying to fill part of that role while he/she/other is absent.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by EldritchOne
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Rejoice! my trials and tribulations are over, the three headed hydra of essaykind has been psychologically mauled by my now distinctive grumpy cat face.

Thank Deus Squidface its over.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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EldritchOne said
Rejoice! my trials and tribulations are over, the three headed hydra of essaykind has been psychologically mauled by my now distinctive grumpy cat face. Thank Deus Squidface its over.


Wish I were that lucky, all my stuff seems to be peaking in difficulty and quantity.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by kapuchu
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WilsonTurner said
WIP


Okay... So. There is one huge thing which I want to say now, because unless you change that I won't allow you in here. I know that's very bluntly stated, but there are standards: Your background. I require at least ten times the size of a background. As I wrote in the character sheet template your background is the blueprint for your entire character, and you should be able to take EVERY aspect of your character, look in your background and find a reason for why it's there. His ability to wield duel war axes? How did he learn that? Where? Where did he learn to ride? To joust? Where did he live? What was his childhood like? Who taught him how to use the crossbow, lance, pike, and so on? You have literally nothing of this even though I made it perfectly clear that it's required. I would also like to reiterate that this is an advanced RP. My personal standards aside, you are still required to make a proper effort as pr site rules.

Read the other character sheets, take a look at their backgrounds and you will get an idea of what is necessary to put in.

Now, from the top.
First is his appearance: You're making him far too tough for a Demon Class. While most Demons are relatively tough, none of them have a defense as powerful as your guy's. If you want that kind of toughness, I suggest increasing his size, reducing his speed, and make him a Titan Class instead. What you seem to want is a Demon Class with Titan qualities, and that's a no-go.

His abilities: He has a little magic in his human form, but since he's primarily a physical Demon Class, he won't really have anything aside from being slightly faster, stronger and tougher. So he can't spit poison as a human: He just doesn't have the ability to do so.
His powers, also, does not match. He's a Demon Class, so it's only natural that he would be faster than other Shifters, but this whole "unit" thing does not match with the Manticore mythos. There are accounts of them having some sort of fiery breath, shooting spines like arrows from its tail etc., but not a "suddenly faster because units."

Finally there's his personality. He seems strangely unbalanced, as if something about him is really fucked up (pardon the language). Again, why is he like that? I find it hard to believe that someone like him would be accepted into the Academy based solely on how he can go from socking someone in the jaw to hugging them and singing a lullaby for them.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by WilsonTurner
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WIP- wasn't even close to finishing with the backstory, and was going to mess with the personality as I develop the backstory.

And yea, he'll probably be a Titan-class, just didn't edit it. I've been getting a bunch of homework and the like lately, so I'm a bit disorganized and, idk, frazzled?

As for his weird panic attack, he doesn't do that to one person, just a weird sort of thing that's different for each person present. If someone doesn't do anything, he might try to have a staring contest- I certainly do. If someone looks sad, he'll try to be helpful. A bit loopy, but still. However, due to the fact that he doesn't have any problems in Manticore form, and since being a human would be next to useless against all the Shifted forms, then I think one could make exceptions to the human form if everything's good in the Shifted form, and he can still learn in his regular form. After all, it's only when he loses track of something, and it is a bit of exaggerated. For example, I will almost never hug someone irl- my character will be the same. But, other people might not get what I'm saying if I start talking about what _I_ do to show sympathy, but hugs are pretty obvious across the world, I think.

And I substituted flame for poison/venom because somebody suggested it, and it actually kinda evened it out when facing something such as a dragon. The Manticore wouldn't have a chance against a massive dragon or a giant, and fire wouldn't change that. Fire would just make him have to get really close to use it, and he's fast for a Titan. Fire wouldn't be too much of an advantage, and if anything, would be a disadvantage because he'd have to get in really close to use it, and the poison/venom just makes him a bit safer by just shooting, aggravating, and distracting enemies. And I didn't change the arrows; darts and arrows are kinda like the same thing when it comes to projectiles launched from living creatures.

What do you mean, "units?" When I was talking about units, I was referring more as his energy. If he can run ten miles in twenty minutes, then using his power thingy will let him run ten miles in fifteen minutes, and be just as tired. I don't mean for that long of a time span, more like just a few seconds, but yea.

I would've kept with all that I could find about the original mythological creature, except you have massive creatures that could crush the Manticore, even if he was the size of a bus, with a single blow. Others can kill him without even having to get close, or without even him knowing where they are. If I recall, the Manticore and dryads and other creatures like that aren't really meant to go beat up dragons or giants. It'd be like peasants to a knight. That's why I changed it from the original myth; it'd be totally outmatched by anything larger. Based on what I could tell, the Manticore was meant to prey on much less defended creatures- humans. Humans aren't fast, medieval humans didn't have the best ranged weapons nor the best soldiers, and so a fire-breathing lion-thing that can shoot arrows from a scorpion tail would be very effective. When faced against all this magic and stuff, he'd be outmatched, even as a much larger creature. And if he were really small, then his advantages, such as his arrow-shooting tail, would also be shrunk even more. Wherereas before, his little dart-things would be rather large, a Demon-type Manticore would simply be useless against anything larger than a house, and many of these creatures are.

And if I am meant to go behind enemy lines and hunt down smaller support types, such as the dryads, then being the prideful scorpion-tail lion also wouldn't be the best- scorpion tail is a bit hard to hide, since it'd be completely and totally natural to keep it up, as you would see a scorpion keep it up for all-time.

I do understand that my app is unfinished- I said that as the title of the hider, in case you didn't catch it, which appears to be the case- and that the Manticore I made up is very different. The manticore had the head of a man- I changed that, but that also means that its body was about the size of a lion's. I also made the size different. I changed the tail to more of a pincer that shoots darts instead of just a spiky-looking club-tail.

If you want me to go exactly as the myth says, then I wouldn't join, because the Manticore would be the most like the original creature in this roleplay, minus dragons and the like which are giant brutes with powers in the first place, and because it's simply not meant to fight everyone else in the roleplay. It's like bring a butcher knife to a swordfight, or a slingshot to an archery duel.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by kapuchu
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I did see the "Work in Progress," but usually there are places left blank if it is as such. And since the Background wasn't left blank I simply assumed that it was finished. Apologise for that, but it looked finished since everything was filled out, though some of it being a bit bare.

As for the poison/Flame thing. There are myths of the manticore breathing fire, and of it being poisonous. It's both so you have free reign as to which one you choose. I only ever mentioned flame because it's a possibility.

As for the size. As a Demon I imagine he'd be a bit larger than a tiger. perhaps 20-50% larger in total. He'd be one of the slower types of Demons, having far more defense and physical strength than others, but still be plenty fast to outrun a Titan.
As a Titan he would be much larger, perhaps 2/3 the size of the average Dragon. Faster and more nimble than the average Titan, but a bit lacking in raw power and defense, making up for that with his poisonous spines/thingies he shoots from his tail.

You complain a bit about how he'd be weak and small compared to dragons who can crush him with a foot, so here's a few human/dragon comparisons of what I view is their average size:



Dragons are the #1 of the Shifters, and unquestioningly the most powerful of the all, but that doesn't mean that you can't beat them. Each and every Shifter has strengths and weaknesses, and while the Dragons are the most powerful they are not quite as quick as the Demons, and despite their immense power and defense, a Fae could still blast them into next week. It's not only about size, but speed and agility. Sure someone may be huge, but who's to say they can land a hit on someone who's smaller and much faster? It's also not 1v1 fights, but group skirmishes or even small wars between a couple hundred shifters. So he's never alone, and he always has dragons or other massive Titans to take care of the opponent massive titans.

I also can't help but feel that, judging by what you just wrote, you're making a self-insert. That is, essentially putting your own personality into a character and then playing that. I advise against that, simply because it hints at a lack of writing skills. I know that sounds harsh, but that's really what a Self-Insert tells me :/ Regardless, that kind of character is not someone I'm sure would be accepted into the Academy. If he's likely to punch someone because he doesn't like them, then he does not fit in with a group of soldiers. They can't give him special treatment and group him with people that he likes just because he'll punch anyone else.

As for the unit thing. It just does not fit in with the mythos. A Manticore does not have some magic that suddenly makes him able to run faster. He has whatever speed his legs and such gives him. He is, essentially, magic-less, as is many Titans and other Beast-like Shifters.

and that the Manticore I made up is very different.

No. Just don't. This is not something you "make up." This is an RP centered around magic, and every other character here has their powers from mythology itself. The only exception might be our Giant with his touch-based telekinesis, but that's pretty much equivalent to brute strength and nothing more. So yes, I expect people to stick to the actual mythology as much as possible, making changes where it's necessary to give it some semblance of balance.

I know I'm jumping a bit back and forth here, but:
Manticore and dryads and other creatures like that aren't really meant to go beat up dragons or giants.

Indeed, they're not. While a Dryad alone would be able to restrain a Dragon, they do not quite have the raw power to kill them. That's why you work together like actual soldiers and comrades.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by kapuchu
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Alright, first post is a go. Remember, only one post pr "Turn." So start with only one post, people, then one more after I make another one. Easier to keep track of time and such that way. You're welcome to make a coop post if you want, though, to have a conversation flowing between two of your characters.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Feisty-Pants
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Ffff.

I forgot to finish editing that CS. Ah well.

What races are actually available then, since Dragon was apparently taken when I tried to make it even though there was no CS claiming it. ._.;
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by kapuchu
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Feisty-Pants said
Ffff.I forgot to finish editing that CS. Ah well.What races are actually available then, since Dragon was apparently taken when I tried to make it even though there was no CS claiming it. ._.;


There was a CS. I think the name is Misty-something and can be found on Page 3, I think. Anywho, look at the first OOC post. There you can find every accepted character. Those are the ones which are taken. Aside from those 6 you can take literally anything.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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Wilson, in regards to your manticore's role.

Ever heard of naval destroyers? They were designed so that submarines didn't wipe out naval fleets, including things like... I don't know, battleships and aircraft carriers? Ie the equivalent of titans?
Or heck, battlecruisers, have similar hurt power to a battleship, but with less armor than them and considerably faster.

See what I'm getting at? It isn't all battleships pounding away at each other (ie big titans like dragons and giants), there are other roles to full. Who goes after the Fae shifters and attacks them fast and hard and by surprise so they don't take out the big guys?

Think three dimensionally.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by WilsonTurner
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In naval terms, then dragons and other giant titans are ineffective, for similar reasons a walker wouldn't be efficient in modern warfare. Being big and giant causes more collateral damage, makes you slower, and gives you less magical support and range strength, which means if you have a line of a bunch of range-type shifters, the dragon or whatever is practically null.

Destroyers and the like replaced battleships because they could fire long-range missiles to hit precise locations, and cost less. Battleships were too big and too inefficient in comparison. Could take some damage, but a Destroy could fire a single missile and disable the ship without even sinking it, all the while being smaller and faster. Submarines could remain undetected and hit precise targets without anyone knowing, in their day.

Aircraft carriers could launch strikes against other boats from an even longer distance with better coordination and with more variety of weapons.

The big stuff is nullified by the new modern stuff. A dragon is like a heavily armored knight against a bunch of leather-clad against a bunch of ninjas with poisons and the like. Being a dragon is just being a giant punching bag.

And as for my app, I don't think I'll be joining because I've got a poopload of homework, and I'm tired and already relatively slow with my current roleplays. In addition, I can only really make big, good posts when I've got the proper inspiration, which I had at first, but not anymore.

And as for the self-insert thing, my characters are all somewhat like me. Not exact copies, but more so I have something that I _KNOW_. I'm not very good with being someone entirely different; every time I try writing a story, I feel like my characters are fake and stupid, and lack real personality. Having a basis similar to myself simply lets me have a much more realistic character, which I can change from there. Call me a crappy writer, I probably am.
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Bah. Too bad Lil' Sindri he left xD Woulda liked to see how he'd react to her suddenly just staring at him, shooting him the most infuriating, challenging smile she could, her chin almost lazily resting in the palm of her hand.
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kapuchu said
Bah. Too bad Lil' Sindri he left xD Woulda liked to see how he'd react to her suddenly just staring at him, shooting him the most infuriating, challenging smile she could, her chin almost lazily resting in the palm of her hand.


I sort of left it open for her to actually call out to him as he passed or at least grab his attention, you can do it if you want, I am pretty open to communication so far. :P
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