It's time for a little honesty. For several months now, going all the way back to July, I have been struggling to stay involved and engaged in NewGen. Though the struggle comes not from anyone else, but from myself. It has progressively gotten worse, to the point where I'm at now where I'm not even posting. This is no one's fault but my own. But because of my inactivity, regardless of reason, I have been holding back potential progress in the IC. For that I sincerely apologize. I really do, as weird as it is for someone with my attitude to be apologizing so formally. While NewGen is clearly a great roleplay, one that I've been in for over two years now, I don't find it nearly as fun as I used to anymore. In fact, I hardly find it fun at all. And because of this I have been ruining the fun everyone else is having. That is why I'm now officially leaving NewGen.
The cynic in me wants to point out that I haven't posted in well over a month so me announcing that I'm leaving isn't much of a big deal when compared to the present facts. True as that is, I don't want you guys to have expectations that cannot be met. It would be unfair of me to stick around if I'm not going to ever do anything. Don't get me wrong, everyone here is great. I consider you guys my friends and I don't intend to suddenly stop talking with those of you still willing to converse with me. To absolutely destroy any confusion and leave no room for questions, I'm going to pull a Gerontis and explain a few things.
It probably is fairly obvious, but I have been attending a university full-time since August. While I'm not the best student, it does take up a good portion of my time and attention. But on top of that I have been working nine hour shifts in a frozen food factory to be able to afford not only my education but to afford my own food, travel, and even cover the expenses of others in my family. These two things alone take up a large portion of my time and energy. Lately, to add to my list of complaints I need to file to whichever deity rules the universe, my family's financial status has been sinking and I have been helping to cover the gap so my sister and mother can keep a roof over their heads. Which made my factory job turn from part-time to full-time. My mind and body are pushed to their limits almost every day and the stress has been compiling. So when I get home, sore and tired, I just want to relax and enjoy myself. My "out", if you will. The free time I do have, I want to have fun. That is the selfish reason why I am leaving.
This isn't a goodbye to everyone. Hell no. As if you people would get away from me
that easily. This is just a goodbye to NewGen itself. It's been in my life for two years and has actually helped me through many things whether it knew it or not (which it probably didn't because the roleplay isn't sentient or even animate for that matter). While this may not be goodbye to everyone in NewGen, let's be real here: I'm terrible at keeping in touch. I'm constantly reminded of that by family and friends. I intend to keep pestering the lot of you, but just in case it takes a while until I actually follow through with that threat, I've prepared a few things to occupy the space between.
You're a punk, you know that? But I'm grateful for it. You are one of my Fairy Tail buddies, as wrong as fuck as your predictions can be, so of course I can't leave you hanging. Working with you was pretty fun, even if some of the things we worked on weren't exactly "fun" themselves. And you need to stop poking me on Facebook. Like damn. XD
You still haven't made that video, damnit! I want to hear the sound of my own voice. I mean... Nah, that's totally what I meant. But seriously, you're a bro to me. You suck, literally suck, at insults but you're cool enough to throw them at me anyways. If my microphone wasn't broken I'd talk shit for days about you, but you know it's always been in jest. Stay light-hearted until the next time we chat. And also finish that damn video! Especially the video!
Sorry the Diancie code didn't work, but you can still get one so it's cool. Oh, and a slight update: I know I've told you before to get back into watching Fairy Tail, but I kinda want to revoke that. The 2014 episodes are kinda full of filler and generally suck so only watch until episode 175. Trust me on that one, you'll seriously enjoy yourself. But if you get curious and keep watching you probably won't find as much entertainment in what you find. Ask Nim if you want a second opinion. Oh, and we totally need to battle some time when you aren't doing a Nuzlocke.
It's been kinda dull without our in-depth theoretical analyses of the human mind and the world around it. Not like my brain needs much more stimulation than it already gets, but I always learn something every time we have one of those chats. I'd like to think you also get something new out of it every time too, but you're the Psych major not me so you may very well already have a good understanding of the shit I say. Which, on the subject of psychology, is actually an interesting field in the sense that it is one of the few sciences that is actually a split community in terms of analysis and explanation. Probably why it's so fun for someone like me.
How many damn tank simulators do you have? XD But seriously, while you are hardly ever serious on your own, you actually have a lot of interesting ideas and I like your way of thinking. Though that also deals with the non-serious stuff, because your way of thinking when you aren't serious is hilarious. Perhaps I should one day get this EU game that you and the others play so I can see where %50 of the gibberish comes from. But that requires money so it might have to wait a while. :c Unless I win the lottery or mug a rich guy. Second one being more viable than the first.
Truth be told, I'm jealous of you. I have no idea how you can manage to remain calm and polite. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm not a particularly calm or polite person but even someone as brash as myself can recognize the value in those qualities. Though we haven't worked together as much as I've wanted, I do have to say that Ryoku is one of my favorite characters. Perhaps some of your skill as a roleplayer and writer comes from your disposition. If that is true then I would be more jealous and then we'd have a little problem. XD
Neighbor! Well, I mean neighbor as in "you actually live on the same continent as me." A remarkable accolade, I know. But the world is vast and the internet is more vast and about three times as scary. While you may play jokes on my American ways, you've been a cool guy too. Though, in all fairness, perhaps joking about America is cool in and of itself. So double cool? Eh, I don't give a fuck. Anyways, we need to play Left 4 Dead. After I get a new mic. And if it isn't too much to ask, after Gero finishes his damn video. But that may never happen so let's just keep our heads out of the clouds on that one.
Y u gotta art so good? I had some requests for you before, but I never got around to asking you for them. Don't remember why I never did, but perhaps I'll ask you when you have some free time in the future. I could always just ask right now. But nah. The common folk don't need to know that you are a good artist. They may already know, but with my insight you can be the next Michelangelo... Or better yet I can just stop being a conceited fuck. That could work too. But plz, don't charge me commission. x3
Ha ha, you both got stuck in the same hider. But there's a good reason for that. You two have been in the "game" as long as I have, if not longer. And I don't just mean NewGen, I mean Naruto roleplays in general. Us three, we OldGen. Because of this, it is up to us to ensure that NewGen doesn't descend to the level of OldGen. And if I'm gone, that means it is up to you two to keep it real. Basically I'm asking you guys to be Batman. Except there can only be one Batman so one of you has to settle for Robin. Not Nightwing, but Robin. You two also have to decide that on your own.
Neighbors! And you two are actually in the same country as me! Only you both are kinda... seriously afk. Like damn you both are vanished and will probably never see this. But in the slight chance that you do find this post I want to remind you that we have to show our American pride. Though not in the ignorant, racist way that most people on the internet do. We're better than that. True patriots only show their colors, not wave them around. But on top of that, both of you are hella fun. Shadow needs to invest in a computer microphone so in VCs we don't have to hear Chicago behind her, and Arkie needs to appear sometime soon so we can L4D again.
We may not be on speaking terms right now and I'm not ready or willing to recant that, but do know that our problem has nothing to do with me leaving NewGen. And credit where credit is due, you are actually an excellent writer. One that has inspired me on several occasions, which isn't a small feat because I'm conceited and arrogant as fuck. Take that for what you will.
This may come across as a goodbye, but really it's more like an interim warning. I may be leaving the stage but I'm still going to be in the theater. If that analogy made any sense. I'm not a playwright and I'm hardly a writer but I think I've explained everything. If I somehow missed something, as impossible as that is, then by all means tell me. I'll probably answer any questions though I imagine I left little room for those.
Oh wait, I almost forgot.
I'm sappy as fuck, aren't I? This might get interpreted as a general message to all the players involved in the roleplay, but this is actually toward the roleplay itself. So excuse me for a moment while I pretend the roleplay is both sentient and animate because this section is actually a goodbye.
NewGen has been great. It was born out of a need for a roleplay that wasn't bullshit or run by an asshole. Unfortunately I still managed to get a position of power so that second part isn't quite true here but close enough. This was actually the first Naruto roleplay that focused on characters over combat. That sounds like a small feat to anyone that wasn't around for what is now referred to as "OldGen" when the Naruto roleplays were either solely focused on combat or if they weren't the character development and interactions were less-than-stellar. But for someone that has seen that, it is actually quite a landmark.
Many good things have come of this, both in-character and out-of-character. I'm no sob story but NewGen has helped me through some hard times. The vast majority of my memories here are awesome, despite the last few months. The changes that have been made over the duration have just enhanced the roleplay and most everyone enjoys it. While I'm not included in that figure it doesn't make it a bad thing. People have tastes and even if it has evolved past mine that doesn't change the greatness that is NewGen. Everyone puts hard work into their characters and ideas, and it goes to show. Perhaps I didn't convey it well, but way back when RPG crashed I actually was quite devastated at how much we lost.
All in all, this is actually quite a difficult goodbye for me. It's better for everyone this way, but that doesn't change the glory of the past. While NewGen is moving toward it's next stage in "life" (I kinda can't say that seriously, given the roleplay isn't actually alive), so am I. And because of that I actually can let it go. If I was a smarter man I would've done so sooner rather than drag things down. At this point, I'm practically spare baggage to NewGen. And like the vestigial appendix of the human body, I need to be cut out. Kinda harsh when I put it that way, but no other way to put it really. Kinda sad that I'm leaving, but also a good thing. One less thing to impede progress of the great.
Two shots for NewGen. One for each year. Stay strong and don't forget the core values that you started with. Else I'll have to kick your ass.
This post really needs to stop before it starts to make me look like some kind of... I don't even know. Someone that isn't me. But don't anyone worry about me. Everyone has their trials and tribulations. Believe me when I say: I got this. If you're not smiling you better start because when you're getting caught up on what is leaving you won't notice what is staying. Damn that made me sound more proverbial than I actually am. Oh well, time for the summation of this entire announcement. But before I go, I relinquish all rights to my current characters and grant permission to anyone to do anything they deem necessary to my characters provided it benefits the roleplay. Itinerary complete.
Jacob out.
