"We're out of food"

"What?"

"Were out of food, Darcs. Can you run up to the store and get us some?"

"We aren't out of food, we've got plenty of food--"

"We have, like, no food."

"We have SO MUCH food."

"Name me one dish I can make with the food we have."

"...Mashed potatoes and onions?"

"I DON'T WANT TO EAT MASHED POTATOES AND ONIONS."

"YOU SAID WE DIDN'T HAVE FOOD, WE HAVE PLENTY OF FOOD."

"5 POTATOES AND 3 ONIONS IS NOT PLENTY OF FOOD DARCS."

"IT'S SO MUCH PLUS WE HAVE OTHER STUFF."

"OH YEAH, LIKE?"

"JESUS CHRIST YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK AROUND IN THE KITCHEN FOR FIVE SECONDS WE'VE GOT LIKE TEA AND CREAM OF WHEAT AND SOME CHEESE I THINK."

"THAT'S IT???"

"THAT'S IT? THAT'S PLENTY!"

"WE DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY MILK!"

"It's fiiiiiiiine..."

"DARCS YOU GO GET US FOOD RIGHT NOW."

"OR WHAT?"

"JUST GO YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER."

"Right, I'll just go and steal up some food."

"What?"

"WE'RE FUCKING POOR IN CASE YOU FORGOT."

"THEN GO GET A JOB!"

"YOU GET A JOB!"

"I HAVE A JOB YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT."

"THEN WHY AREN'T YOU BUYING FOOD WITH YOUR FANCY JOB MONEY YOU CAPITALIST BOURGEOIS SWINE?"

"OH MY GOD DARCS DON'T START WITH THIS."

"RIGHT, I SHOULD JUST GO GET A JOB. LET ME JUST GO GET MY JOB HELMET SO I CAN POP ON IN THE JOB CANNON AND BLAST OFF INTO JOB LAND, WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES!"

"I CARRIED YOU FOR NINE MONTHS AND RAISED YOUR SORRY ASS YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE BASTARD."

"OH WOW THANKS MOM."

"FUCK YOU DARCS."

"BELIEVE IT OR NOT I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!... You know... being alive... I didn't ask you to bring me here!"

"..."

"...N-no one told me life was gonna be this way..."