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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Voltus_Ventus
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Voltus_Ventus The Voltusiest Ventus

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Very.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Murtox
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Murtox

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Colors=Problem always , i think i am going to search for resources as i have plenty nearby
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by KaiserAuto
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KaiserAuto A Genius and let none deny it.

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>Already forgot what color I am
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Chenzor
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GM
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Chenzor

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You're gray. You have no color. Silly kaiser.
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Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by KaiserAuto
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KaiserAuto A Genius and let none deny it.

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>As grey as a pheonix.

I'm curious and also a bit interested as to how people feel about my writing:
Is it good, is it bad?
If it is bad, what should I improve on, etc.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Cyclone
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@KaiserAuto If I try hard enough I can find minor grammar problems, but I'm sure you could say the same for all of us. Overall I like your writing style and enjoy reading your posts.

I've noticed that you tend to put a lot of dialogue into posts, which is something I've occasionally experimented with, but I usually try forgoing it to some extent in my own posts in favor of more detail and better imagery. Still, I like dialogue too.

What do you think about my posts?
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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by barkmeat2
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barkmeat2 The Bearded Dankier Hobbit

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>As grey as a pheonix.

I'm curious and also a bit interested as to how people feel about my writing:
Is it good, is it bad?
If it is bad, what should I improve on, etc.


You're quite passionate about your works to say the least. I wouldn't think to be even able to attempt to write something as long. That said I enjoyed it myself, but I enjoy a lot of things and I'm not qualified enough to give criticism.
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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by KaiserAuto
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KaiserAuto A Genius and let none deny it.

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@Cyclone I am aware of some of my own grammar errors, but often times I am far too lazy to fix them.

I find great curiosity in witnessing your writing.

Observing a style with such rich words and impervious metaphors places me at joys end. Whilst they are often times fluent and without worry, there are also times where the heavy use of metaphors brings the flow to a quick halt, forcing you to understand what you had just read. This is mainly due to the usage of such a rich vocabulary. Whilst it isn't a fault in itself, it brings the reader down and forces them to either learn the meaning of the word, or the meaning of the sentence.

However, in and of itself, for what I can say from my personal experience is that that doesn't bring me down. (Not trying to brag) That is probably due to my own vocabulary not being such a small decrepid place of malice and rundown filth (lol)

Like I was trying to say before I got lost in my own terrible sense of humor: I like it very much, however, understand that some who may not be as rich in word knowledge may not understand everything you voice through your writing.
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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Murtox
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I forgot to add to the Summary the stone houses O.O
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Cyclone
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@KaiserAuto
I'm flattered that you like my metaphors and wording; and here I was thinking that what I'd came up with so far was mediocre at best. As in for it being difficult to understand, thanks for pointing that out. I'll try to keep that in mind and not go overboard with the flowery phrasing, though admittedly I allow myself more slack on this type of RP than others because if somebody gets confused they can always just read the summary to make sure they understood the gist of what I was trying to communicate.

Admittedly I have a difficult time writing from the perspective of a nation, which is why I've been trying to write from Danr's perspective as much as possible.

Speaking of difficulty understanding what I try to voice, something that's been bugging me as of late is that if I read my own work, I always feel that I need to break up my longer sentences. Of course I know what I am trying to say, but I often get the feeling that I've made a sentence so long that it becomes confusing to the point that someone would have to read it three or four times to understand. Sometimes my sentences just seem to stretch on and on for lines, yet breaking them up usually leaves me unsatisfied as the writing usually seems more choppy and the thoughts that I try to convey more fragmented. A good example of what I mean is the third sentence of this post. It's just...long, but I'd have difficulty breaking it into two sentences whilst somehow having a smooth transition and keeping the paragraph as a whole on topic.

I'm interested in your thoughts, as I've seen you write some rather long ones yet I thought that they still flowed well. Do you think that I tend to ramble on and could do a better job segmenting some parts, or am I fine?
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by KaiserAuto
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KaiserAuto A Genius and let none deny it.

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@Cyclone can you pinpoint me to the sentence?

Edit: OH.

Well, Cyclone, the trick is to not have dead space. rambling is a way to fill out space, but the space is dead and without importance. Therefore when writing one should have a ghoul with every sentence and kill any possible dead space found within it.

You can do that by removing unnecessary parts and decreasing the lenght of your sentences based on word necessity.

For instance:
Yesterday I saw a crocodile, it's tail was longer than the towers of Hababubabu and it's teeth were sharper than the sharpest knife- but one might not even understand the might of it's strenght, I think even I would be thrown by that thing!

could easilly be turned into:
Yesterday I saw a crocodile. It held a long tail and sharp teeth- and it's strenght was unparalleled.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Cyclone
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"I'll try to keep that in mind and not go overboard with the flowery phrasing, though admittedly I allow myself more slack on this type of RP than others because if somebody gets confused they can always just read the summary to make sure they understood the gist of what I was trying to communicate."

That was the one I mentioned. Maybe it's not a good example, here's some from my posts:

"Acting preemptively, they ceased participation in the endless wars and feuds of our belligerent tribes, and devoted every moment of their waking moments to finding a way to escape our lands before the ever colder winters killed us all."

"The boatbuilders' blood stained the snows as we fell upon them, leaving their cold bodies behind as we stole their ships, for the endless winter has made us strong; our hearts are cold and some say that ice flows through our veins."

I feel like sentences like this are hard to swallow in one gulp, so to speak. I know what I'm trying to say and can follow my own train of thought easily as I read through those, but I've been wondering if other people can take in sentences like those without reading them once or twice.

Edit: Yeah, I try not to drivel needlessly, but when you look at the examples from the IC maybe you'll understand my predicament. I try to convey all of that information but it usually ends up being mashed together in one sentence because otherwise it usually turns into a paragraph of broken and fragmented thoughts.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by KaiserAuto
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KaiserAuto A Genius and let none deny it.

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Mental reading is no worry since you don't have to breath.
That's one of the main reasons why you shouldn't worry.

Edit:
You are filling the sentence with dead space.

For instance:
"The boatbuilders' blood stained the snows as we fell upon them, leaving their cold bodies behind as we stole their ships, for the endless winter has made us strong; our hearts are cold and some say that ice flows through our veins."

Cut it down a little and it would turn into:
"The boatbuilders' stained the snows as we fell upon them, leaving their bodies behind as we stole their ships.(, for the endless winter has made us strong.)"

But overall you shouldn't worry.
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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by KaiserAuto
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KaiserAuto A Genius and let none deny it.

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I like how I seem to keep writing even though I'm almost dying from fatigue.
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Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by barkmeat2
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barkmeat2 The Bearded Dankier Hobbit

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Not gonna lie guys, I'm using Civ 4 Fall from Heaven mod tech tree to plan my turns.

Of course I'm going for a ragnorak cultural victory.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Murtox
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I read wikipedia before posting , so dont worry
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by SgtEasy
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SgtEasy S'algood bro

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I think I may need to drop out. I don't think I have the patience for an NRP and the advanced posts that come with it. This is a fantastic rp but I need to just do some more casual stuff for now, mostly because of the life things that are happening. I am so sorry if this interrupts something or any plans but I just need to calm down a bit.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by salamimike
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salamimike Probably not even real.

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This is how Goblins learn. By their brethren dying horribly.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Cyclone
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Through trial and error death, stupidity, and !!FUN!! attempt to have some goblins learn to tame the byters enough to ride them.


Fix'd
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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by ActRaiserTheReturned
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ActRaiserTheReturned

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@KaiserAuto

I'm stressed. I"m not backing out but I"m asking for leniency in rules weirding out.
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