You have several ideas that pop into your head... But you realize that they won't really work. Even if the door was unlocked, you have no handle on your side. Even though the bucket would make a great helmet, it won't fit onto your head. As for seducing the guard... You are a genderless space creature, and have little to no knowledge of the mating habits of the creatures here.
You could at least sharpen the spoon, except for one thing. It appears to be literally indestructible. Maybe it's magic or something, but what do you know about magic?
>Throw bucket at door
It's time to throw the bucket at the door! You let out a primal scream!
Well, darn. You thought that would have gone better, but you're not sure what you really expected.
>Sharpen spoon, then check under the bed/haypile.
Yeah, I guess you may as well look under the bed.
Well hey, look at that! Somebody dug a hole here! I guess it's a good thing you didn't sleep in that bed.
