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Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Drake Baku
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Drake Baku The Draconian Dragon Prince

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Removing the other two characters fully.
Due to my chars were overlooked and ended up not being accepted, I will rework on Blade as mine main purpose and for now my only char.


Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Horrid
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Horrid aesthetic.

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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Penguin
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Yay cute doggy! Accepted. I love your photosynthesis idea haha.

Removing the other two characters fully.
Due to my chars were overlooked and ended up not being accepted, I will rework on Blade as mine main purpose and for now my only char.



Okay some things:

- You need to end your sentences with a period instead of running them on. I've pointed out where. You seem to try to end some with a comma and it's like you know you're making another sentence because you put a capital letter. It's a little thing but it makes it MUCH more easier and enjoyable to read.

- Now I like that you added some downsides but you still have quite a number of abilities. Look at the size of you talking about your abilities compared to the size of someone else's. I would like if you picked one or two and built on them gradually maybe as the story goes.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Connormon99w
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@Penguinand@SepticGentleman, I'll make it a 22 rife, it is light and has no kick. Also penguin, he is supposed to be a frakking violent kid, he likes to burn stuff and shoot people who annoy him. Maybe being raised in the woods isn't as nice as Tarazan makes it seem... :P
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@Penguinand@SepticGentleman, I'll make it a 22 rife, it is light and has no kick. Also penguin, he is supposed to be a frakking violent kid, he likes to burn stuff and shoot people who annoy him. Maybe being raised in the woods isn't as nice as Tarazan makes it seem... :P


Okay thanks!! And haha guess not! Maybe him and Elijah can be friends. Elijah loves explosions.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by SepticGentleman
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SepticGentleman 𝙼𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

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Just gonna make a note here that @Horrid and I are going to pair Bozak and Atlas together. Just so that's out there.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Connormon99w
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@Penguin I sadly may only be able to be on for an hour a day., is that okay?

Also, two little kids that like to blow stuff up? That would be lots of trouble for Adelaide. "Well it WAS a forest, we may or may not have burnt it down." Though Graham is not that friendly to people, - People are annoying,- he might actually like Atlas.

I can't get back on til' tomorrow, bye.

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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by SepticGentleman
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SepticGentleman 𝙼𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

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@Penguin I sadly may only be able to be on for an hour a day., is that okay?

Also, two little kids that like to blow stuff up? That would be lots of trouble for Adelaide. "Well it WAS a forest, we may or may not have burnt it down." Though Graham is not that friendly to people, - People are annoying,- he might actually like Atlas.

I can't get back on til' tomorrow, bye.


The pooch is mine. I have claimed him. Ask @Horrid, he'll admit it.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Penguin
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@Connormon99w that's fine!
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Drake Baku
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will have to check, I guess some traits could be just as easy to be more trained, just took the easy way and give him trained effects while having him not train XD
so yeah, change that will remove at least 2 (speed&agility and vision enhancement (as training your eye sight can mimic the same effects and those matters could have been done in those 5 years of blank memory)





there, now he has to keep up training for his physique and for his eyes, they have been skimmed down from earlier to what is really trainable (the "light sight" for example is gone as I dont see that as something you can train in real live)
I know people have been training to in darkness a little faster, or to follow some fast movements with their eyes (though seeing is not enough to act if you dont guess the next attack correctly) and trying to read and see slightly further then most people who dont train this

would this be better?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Penguin
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will have to check, I guess some traits could be just as easy to be more trained, just took the easy way and give him trained effects while having him not train XD
so yeah, change that will remove at least 2 (speed&agility and vision enhancement (as training your eye sight can mimic the same effects and those matters could have been done in those 5 years of blank memory)





there, now he has to keep up training for his physique and for his eyes, they have been skimmed down from earlier to what is really trainable (the "light sight" for example is gone as I dont see that as something you can train in real live)
I know people have been training to in darkness a little faster, or to follow some fast movements with their eyes (though seeing is not enough to act if you dont guess the next attack correctly) and trying to read and see slightly further then most people who dont train this

would this be better?


Yes. This is better assuming you're talking out the natural resistance paragraph. However, I'm going to have to ask before every post that you go over it and check for run-ons and capitalizations. Break up really long sentences into two if you're unsure. Place your post in Microsoft word and use the grammar check. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Xilaw
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Thank you for your cooperation.


Copper!
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Drake Baku
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Drake Baku The Draconian Dragon Prince

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updated the sheet, how is it now?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Penguin
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Removing the other two characters fully.
Due to my chars were overlooked and ended up not being accepted, I will rework on Blade as mine main purpose and for now my only char.



Do that and you're good you can put it in the CS tab.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Drake Baku
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Drake Baku The Draconian Dragon Prince

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<Snipped quote by Drake Baku>

Do that and you're good you can put it in the CS tab.

do what?
I had already changed the powers stuff and the other chars wont show up anymore, so you got me confused


never mind, realized it a bit late that you crossed the resitance matter, though it hardly will get to show up and is double edged as no one if it would work and will gove a blow afterwards
while I can let it go but just want to ask why its a issue
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Apokalipse
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Apokalipse AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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Ah, I don't remember if I posted this here already, but due to my dog just having one of his eyes removed because of a tumor, I may not be super-active. I'll be able to post every couple of days and I will check the IC and OOC at least once a day, but just keep that in mind (:
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Connormon99w
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Also, @Penguin, I'd assume I'd be at the cabin soon, maybe I'd be there at the end of your next paragraph. Now... how would Graham reacted to rubble?

"Aw... I can't have the doggy? Can I shoot it then?"
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by SepticGentleman
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SepticGentleman 𝙼𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

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Also, @Penguin, I'd assume I'd be at the cabin soon, maybe I'd be there at the end of your next paragraph. Now... how would Graham reacted to rubble?

"Aw... I can't have the doggy? Can I shoot it then?"


God damn. This child is unreasonably savage.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Connormon99w
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<Snipped quote by Connormon99w>

Frak. This child is savage.


He's been living in the woods for two years, only coming into town to sell and to buy ammo and gunpowder, which he keeps inside a stuffed bear with it's head barely attached. So... yeah. Thank you WW3, for ruining children everywhere.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by SepticGentleman
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SepticGentleman 𝙼𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

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<Snipped quote by SepticGentleman>

He's been living in the woods for two years, only coming into town to sell and to buy ammo and gunpowder, which he keeps inside a stuffed bear with it's head barely attached. So... yeah. Thank you WW3, for ruining children everywhere.


I still cannot, in good faith, accept all that when he's only ten. Wasteland or no, there are natural implications of a child's psyche that would bar certain things from manifesting so early.

If he were in his teens, that'd be a different story.
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