Hope I'm not stepping on anyones toes with my police brutality.
Woop de doo
As Lev said...it was kind of abrupt. I talked with Ghost Shadow a bit, and we'd like to request an edit to your post. There's issues from both an in character and out-of-character perspective.
IC issue: a BoD officer and a crew of 10 riot cops, to take down one crime lord. One NPC crime lord, at that. Your character is risking serious violence and bloodshed by busting into a huge bar like that, when stealth may have been a better tactic. Like Lev said, abrupt.
OOC issues: 10 riot cops. You're basically NPCing your own small army. That's a very unfair advantage to you if any characters want to put up a fight.
And the fact that you're raiding the club at all is a slight issue with me. We've got several characters in there, already establishing storylines and interacting. Vander, Audrey, Elizabeth, Deon. Your post derails any existing interactions with a sudden police raid.
Please make some edits. I don't want to see an army of NPC cops, and I don't want to see the existing character interactions interrupted.