Sana kept pushing forward, driving her horse further and further down the path; her cloak whipping in the wind as the chill in the air stung her exposed skin but she didn't care. She was too lost in thought for the elements to register to her senses. The last twenty-four hours had sent her world spinning out of control and she was unable to grasp on how to handle the emotions that were swirling through her. It seemed to drag back to a place she had thought long put behind her, that same feeling of helplessness that had driven her away from the family she had known so very long ago.
Watching Hugh nearly bleed out the previous morning had brought out a wrath in her that she had never thought possible. A brutality that scared her as much as the thought of losing him did. Her mind flashed with the memory of the rage that boiled in her blood when she stared down those that had hurt him and it sent a chill down her spine. She never wanted to feel that type of desperation again and though she felt remorse for the harsh death she had caused by her bare hands, she knew that if any where to harm him in such a manner again she would not hesitate to repeat such again.
That alone would have driven her into cold demeanour she was in but the days harshness had not ended there. At the slavers encampment she had found her father there, tied to a post and his back split open again and again by the whip of the slaver she had fought. His words rang still in her ears that her family was gone, echoed by his last breath before his eyes closed to never open again. The loss stung in a way she had never imagined and there was no condolences for the daughter of a gypsy.
Finding sweet Ariana had helped to break the darkness that was beginning to consume her, yet it was only for a short time. The seeming peace broken by the filth that chased them down on his hound of hell. Sana had lost so much in a single moment she had foolishly stood her ground alone against such a foe and nearly lost her own life in the process. Her body still ached from the night before, her chest being crushed and her back breaking. She had been healed but remnants of the damaged nerves remained, perhaps they always would.
Her world had spun and turned out of control, flipped upside down and she had been left on the sidelines to watch the man she adored face the Anti-Paladin with the others, fear welling back up within her that the same would happen to them that happened to her. Coaxing from one she did not know gave her enough willpower to sing. She had thought nothing would come from it but something had changed and an ability that had laid dormant for her entire life broke free and came to fruition.
Her mind flashed to Hugh after the battle and though he did not know the details of her father's death, no condolence came from him for her loss. No acknowledgement came from his lips of her change. He knew her songs well and knew she could not cast and yet not a word was spoken. Both she had chalked up to the excitement of battle and the late hour of the day but it still stung that she had gone through so much and not a word was whispered.
Adding to all this was not so much Ariana, because the child brought a smile to her features and warmed her heart, but the implications of her presence complicated matters. Hugh had been happier than Sana had ever remembered seeing him since the appearance of the little one and that brought joy to Sanas heart but it also scared her. Her single biggest fear since she had learned of Hughs loss had been that she would end up being nothing more than a replacement wife and mother; it was a concern Hugh had been made aware of so long ago and one he promised that would never occur. Yet to Sana it felt as if it could very well happen now.
Ariana was a Rawn, so no matter what happened Sana felt the child was her responsibility but what would happen between her and Hugh because of the entire situation? They had never spoken of marriage nor children, only enjoying each other presence and living life as much as they could. Sana cared deeply for Hugh, he was her only love though she had never spoken the words, and though she thought Hugh felt the same of her he had never spoken the words either. Sana had wanted to tell him for sometime but had never wanted to push him to feel he needed to say them just because she had so she had waited. Perhaps she had waited too long?
Sighing deeply she pulled back on the reins and brought Epona to a steady trot. She knew Hugh did not know what was going through her mind but it stung that she had been through so much that he did know of and her emotional change was so obvious; yet he still offered no comfort when she was around him or even a single question. Those that had just met her, who knew nothing about her, knew something was off about her. The man that
adored her did not? Where did that leave her?
Taking a deep breath she pulled the hood of her mantle down further to cover her melancholy expression and continued on, trying to focus on her surroundings and the path that lay before her. Attempting to push the turmoil swirling through her out of her mind or at least burying it deep within but it was difficult. How could she speak to Hugh about these feelings if he didn't seem to even acknowledge the change. The look on his face when she left hurt, she had wished he had spoken up, said anything but he looked away from her. Perhaps he was just clueless to the entire situation but if that was the case, what then? She did not know and it caused dread to knot up in the pit of her stomach for when dusk approached. Would it be another evening of silence?
Groaning slightly, she glanced over towards her travel companion for this part of the journey before looking away and back towards the road. Perhaps she should say something, try to be polite but she didn't seem to be able to muster such pleasantries right then.