Good times. I remember when monsters had one fucking job: eat people, guard loot. Now they can go to school, be professionals, and we always have to dance around how they're portrayed in the media. Damn MJWs always calling us out on what should be accepted as good old fashioned tradition. And don't even try to start in on me with that treasure gap bs... Shit's a myth yo.

Did you hear that a Goblin is running for governor of California? What's next, a kobold president? Slippery slope guys, slippery slope. Makes me so mad I'm going to go find a group of likeminded people on Facebook and post angry memes about it. That'll show the world that my opinions are valid.

luckily she doesn't need tape! all you have to do is say "hey aster! shut your trap!" and he'll just be like "oh. :(" and drift into sad, thoughtful silence

i tried to think of something to keep the monster joke running but i'm not that clever.
writing dialogue for astrophel is so extra. i usually write normal person speech and then when i go back and edit i'm like "okay, how do i make this sound as pretentious as possible"