Cool stuff, looking forward to the bio. Do you have any questions or need of guidance?
So I had two thoughts, one serious and one silly.
Serious: The Korriban chapter should end with a duel between Saidor and David. Regardless of the ending, David and the Jedi will have to flee(because even if he wins, he'll have just beaten one member of a hostile faction whose base he's still in). I had in my head this image of Saidor investigating the ship, where David is still in hiding(having sensed him, or just gotten curious), and them dueling there, possibly fighting through the ship and eventually bringing the fight to the landing pad and out into the public view, probably the first time most of these people have seen a lightsaber.
Silly: I had this thought, in writing not in audio, of a conversation between David and Dren which would go
"Saidor, I presume?"
"It's pronounced Saidor, but yes."
"Oh, my apologies."
Because I don't actually know how to say his name.