@Dervish *smacks yo self-depreciating head* BAD. YOU WRITE GOOD.

@Dervish *smacks yo self-depreciating head* BAD. YOU WRITE GOOD.

Actual photo of my work space while making this roleplay.

Better organized my sheet, tidied up the grammar, replaced marksman low proficiency with speech, added a paragraph to personality (as well as tidying up that section a bit).

<Snipped quote by DearTrickster>



Actual photo of my work space while making this roleplay.

It's true, I saw it all. The man's a genius with crayons and cardboard.

Better organized my sheet, tidied up the grammar, replaced marksman low proficiency with speech, added a paragraph to personality (as well as tidying up that section a bit).

Nonononoo wrong way!

You guys will see tomorrow (god, I hope I'm done tomorrow) of the critiques why I say to get rid of Speech as a skill. TL;DR, since this is a roleplaying medium, a character's speech proficiency really lies in your ability to write. It's hard to justify a player character to, say, convince a merchant to give him free goods if they write something like, "I hero, you give good stuff to me for yes?"

I think a part of me would die a little if I had to actually consider that shopkeeper being persuaded. Somebody think of the children.

<Snipped quote by Dervish>

It's true, I saw it all. The man's a genius with crayons and cardboard.

You just wait until I get construction paper and safety scissors.

As a last minute surprise, I've revised Berich as a character. I guess you can call it a downsizing. I made him as a bit of a hyperbolic character, but I think I should take a bit of a more serious tone. Also, I made his own failings as part of his downfall, rather than random chance interrupting his amazing success. I like to think I made him more believable now, and more interesting.

roleplayerguild.com/posts/3637112

@HellisValen is fairly unique. It's nice to see a character who (like Idlehands character) is sent to the prison that isn't there for some monumentous reason. Your guy just kinda got pissed off/tired of life and ended up there. I think other than some grammatical errors (and don't worry, I had some too) it's a fine character sheet, and it'll be interesting to see how you play him.

Well shit. That aint ominous or anything.

I for one welcome our new insect overlords, and hope that I can send many to work in the glorious sugar mines!

Totally not using my Pro insect overlord position to sway the deciding vote on who's character sheet gets in, even though I could convince many to toil in the dark sugar caves.

There you go again @Dervish, straining our wits with memorable animated horror. Bee-tee-dubs, Faruq is has been updated into an anime plushie named Fúx8 who hacked the console and exclusively wears a black and gold dragonbone thong crafted at the Skyforge, which she owns. Hope that's cool!

@Hellis Valen is an excellent example of when character sheets are not enough. The background you provided touches on dunmer culture and lightly upon the deeply rooted politics of Morrowind as well. These are wells rich with opportunity and interest. My suggestions have much less to do with the content of your sheet and more with the structure. Were I you, I'd approach Valen's history in sections -- A Life Assumed, Desertion, and Bridge. The first would establish Valen as a youth, or in his raw state. What happens in this section really defines the character's morality and long-term personality. I really enjoy your description of Valen as one of a lesser family groomed to squire for one of higher nobility. I think that time is really important to demonstrate how much Valen has sacrificed. I imagine while Aivilos enjoyed a soft life of study and rhetoric, Valen trained rigorously. A juxtapose if you will. This makes the romance between Valen and Aivilos so much more as it is in essence the one thing that makes it all worthwhile to Valen. And then, when pushed, as Valen sacrifices this too we see his first step into adulthood. I find the ashlands very interesting as well. Seeing how such a raw deal effects Valen, now free of reputation in a new land, I'm just curious what he actually does in those 12 years. You mention he learns to master the horn bow too so this suggests to me that he worked with some camp or other group that perhaps shared little loyalty for the royal houses too. Honestly, I think you need to bulk up this time to help us understand just how this time changed or effected Valen. I believe this would make his transition into a deserter make understandable too. Perhaps considering this place in the ashlands akin to 'The Wall' in Game of Thrones, where Valen perceives he has been abandoned rather than given another chance to honour his family. This could materialize into an extension of the house he serves maintaining a small group to 'protect assets'. Valen could find a mentor here, explaining his horn bow training. Eventually, he could experience some trauma or battle that convinces him to abandon duty, leading well into desertion. This seems like a lot, but in truth, I find your concept extremely inspiring. When I suggest all this it's because the bones you have crafted are so damn intriguing that the ideas flow quite easily. I very much enjoy Valen and believe he would've done well with my old character, Juinarto.

@DervishMoved it back to marksman, then.

Also thanks for reminding me my love for Majora's Mask.

@ConstableWalrus That sound you hear? Just to buzzing of the worker bugs who are going to get you to sign a few pieces of paper promising a lifetime of servitude to the hive.

Hope that's cool.

@Lo Pellegrino I, for one, choose to never forget that one day our moon might turn on us and we should all live in terror of the day it smiles back.

@Spoopy Scary You're very welcome.

It's my favorite Zelda game, along with Twilight Princess.

@Dervish All I'm looking for is a possible foreman position, and possibly a few more rations of soylent green. Then I'll sign anything they want. Praise thee ant overlords.

@HellisValen is fairly unique. It's nice to see a character who (like Idlehands character) is sent to the prison that isn't there for some monumentous reason. Your guy just kinda got pissed off/tired of life and ended up there. I think other than some grammatical errors (and don't worry, I had some too) it's a fine character sheet, and it'll be interesting to see how you play him.

Totally being accused of murder isn't a big deal.

@ConstableWalrus Depends on how large your mandibles are, your wingspan, and if you would make a good contestant for "So You Think You Can Dance".

@ConstableWalrus Speaking of Soylent Green I think I have the recipe for it right here~

@Dervish So... They are killer space bee's then? Damnit! I was expecting ants Dervish ants!

@DearTrickster Eh, the taste differs from person to person honestly.

@ConstableWalrus We defy classification. Get on our plain of existence, scrubmortal.

@Dervish You are going the right way for a RAID bomb to go off in the nest.