roleplayerguild.com/posts/3640106I see somebody’s fond of the Dragonborn race from D&D. :P
Around how old was Jex when he was captured? It suggests he had time after he hatched to grow, learn how to fight, and so on, but there’s no indication of how long it took for that to happen. For all we know, it could be two months or it could be twenty years. Some kind of gauge for when all of this went down would be preferable. However, I don’t really see why or how any dunmer would be making slaver runs down to Morrowind because officially, the province has renounced slavery when it became a part of the Septim Empire and while there’s no Imperial presence that would stop anyone from continuing the practice, a huge swath of Southern Morrowind is occupied by the Argonians, largely thanks to encouragement by the Thalmor and from centuries’ worth of rage at the atrocities committed by the dunmer against their people. Morrowind is not a strong province, and is in truth barely holding its shit together, let alone launching deep enough into Argonia to grab slaves (which would require stomping through occupied territories).
And here’s where we run into the first glaring issue I have with the sheet; what kind of fool guard would allow himself to be attacked like that in the first place, and the argonians are a race famed for their ability to swim and breathe in water as you pointed out he does so with proficiency the very next paragraph, so why wouldn’t slavers have them chained down or otherwise contained in the hold of a ship? If Jex is as large and fearsome looking as the description suggests, they wouldn’t drop their guard around him just because he was initially compliant. Also, I don’t care how strong you are, you cannot break out of iron bonds by bashing them against a rock repeatedly. Metal > Skin and bones, every time. Stuff’s not made out of crafting foam, it’s built to last.
We’ll get to evil merchant man in a second, but there are no dwemer ruins in Cyrodiil, at all. I also don’t know what person immediately gives somebody clean clothes and a place to stay and then trusts them to wander off into some ruins without just leaving with some new clothes. The ruins you find there are from the Alyeid elves. The dwemer were exclusively in the Northern provinces. Back to the merchant, other than going from zero from philanthropist to Buffalo Bill for no reason other than super fast drama with no build-up or reason, why wouldn’t he just set up the trap in his cellar and trap Jex there? I also don’t know what kind of diseases he was hoping to infect an argonian with, but they must have been super amazing and potent to a degree nobody has ever seen before because argonians are all but immune to disease.
And once again, we’re back to captors doing terrible things to Jex but letting their guard down because he’s not aggressive; he’s huge and terrifying! And in this case, the evil merchant has to know he’d want nothing more than to escape. Also, if he was being tortured without end after being largely malnourished after his initial escape and infected with these mystery super diseases, how would he be strong enough to once again, somehow break free of irons that aren’t made of crafting foam, he somehow escapes through what I assume are like prison bars? How?!
We’re also in stars aligning territory because apparently this merchant guy (who from all appearances is probably a reputable member of his community, and not some weird guy who tortures people), who simply has to run to the guards and say a savage argonian is trying to kill him, has decided to run into the wilds and follow enough of a daily routine of living in the woods that Jex was able to trap him and pull a Predator on him by ripping out his spine and skull. This is really just stretching any sort of logic in favour of just having a violent and edgy story that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny, and honestly, it kind of worries me exactly what kind of character Jex would be in the roleplay, because so far his only interaction with any living person or creature is to brutally kill it after suffering highly circumstantial indignities. We don’t even find out why the merchant did that to him, or anything about them; it’s just a paper thin caricature of the archetype of a friend betraying the protagonist.
So, now he returns to the city of the merchant who, up until this point should appear to be an upstanding member of the community and starts getting contracts against criminals, how? The merchant, who runs a business, suddenly isn’t there and nobody noticed or looked into it? I really think you just picked this guy to be a merchant to have an excuse for Jex to somehow break into his house again (with no lockpicking skills at that, unless the merchant runs around with his shop key on him at all times) just so there was an excuse to get supplies for your character. Also, was there any distinguishing characteristics of this axe he took from the orc he killed that some guy in Hammerfell would recognize? I assume that you mean they’re in a stronghold and took in an outsider for some reason. I also really feel like this really short Hammerfell orc clan is just another subplot to justify the Imperial City orc’s death instead of it just being a random contract murder.
And “spiked and heavy tail”? Is he suddenly an ankylosaurs now?
There’s a lot on this sheet that concerns me, especially from a group roleplay perspective, and it’s more than just a few corrections before I’d accept it. Sorry.