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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Tlstiffl
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"I am sorry if I have seemed physically distant, but it was just me being cautious and not wanting to hurt your body. But every moment I don't see you, even if it is just to go to the toilet, you are on my mind. And I have the same fears. If I don't know where you are, I am terrified and constantly thinking if you are alright. And I have the nightmares too; the images of seeing you lying on the ground, that will never leave my head. And I just wait, wait for you to realize how it is in fact me who doesn't deserve you. The world think just because I grew up with money and my parents are Christians, we are better. You see yourself inferior to me. Yet you and your parents have been nothing but kind to me since the very beginning. Even though society made me your enemy, you gave me the benefit of the doubt. You are good. You are kind. You are the better person. I just fear the day you realize that."

She took a deep breath, her mouth was getting away from her, but she had to finish. But before she spoke further, Ezra pulled her into a passionate kiss, one that she returned fully. She would not have minded if kept going, but she could sense Ezra's physical struggle.

"Ezra I grew up with everything. I had my choice of toys as a child, I slept in a bed two times the size of this one. My personal bathroom is bigger than your whole house. But none of that gave me happiness. I felt so alone sometimes. And then I came here, and I am home. I am able to be the person I am meant to be. You gave me that. I will do whatever you want to show you I am not leaving your side. I will marry you. I will give you all my belongings. I will change my name. I will cut my hair. I will do whatever I have to so I am by your side forever. I wish I could understand why the things are happening the way they are. My hope is honestly, God is testing us. We are Romeo and Juliet, Ezra, we are two star crossed lovers... would our deaths change anything? Bring the two sides together? No, but I truly believe God doesn't want us to give up, no matter what...I will follow you anywhere Ezra. Whatever you want of me, you can have."

She was winded after saying all that but she spoke such truth. Sitting up, Marta gave us a deep look. A look of passion. She didn't know if it was the surge of adrenaline she felt after her talk, but she did something a bit absurd, and she hoped Ezra didn't get upset. Leaning down, Marta gave Ezra a soft kiss on his lips. And much like he had earlier, she began to butterfly kisses all over his face: his nose, eyes, forehead, chin. She worked her way down, kissing along is neck and as she did she reached up and began to unbutton the shirt he was wearing. As she revealed more of his skin, she continued to kiss down his collar bones, then his chest, taking special time to kiss his scars, making him realize that they did not bother her. She kissed all the way down his stomach, before sitting up. Her eyes were dark. "You are my world Ezra Baer."
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Ezra wasn't sure exactly what to do when she started unbuttoning his shirt, but his mind didn't seem to need to work all that hard as his hands moved on their own helping her to undress him from the waste up. Her lips were soft and a little warm against his skin and when she kissed his scars he could feel his body tingle in response. His heart was beating faster, but then she pulled away all too soon. He had heard her words clear that night. They were not going to be broken so easily no matter his doubts, or concerns. His brain couldn't seem to form words as he felt his cheeks turn red. Before he knew exactly what he was doing his hands were sliding up her dress and he was pulling her to straddle his waist.

"You are my life," he whispered as he brought her face down to his meet his own in the kind of kiss that should only be reserved for husband and wife.

He found his lips wondering from her jaw lawn to her neck and his hands gripped her waist, his fingers slowly moving up her back. He felt her body tremble underneath his hands and it sparked something inside of himself that he'd never felt before. He pushed his waist up a little feeling his pants become more constricting. His lips found their way to her collar bone and he bit her softly.

Pulling away slowly his face bright red, "I'm sorry. I don't...I don't know what's come over me," he gasped wincing slightly at the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

He found himself kissing her again though, his hands moved from underneath her clothes into her hair and he held her close wanting nothing more than the fabric between them to disappear, but as her hips moved slowly against him through their clothes he let out a soft groan and began to slow himself down. He wanted to continue, but he couldn't let their first time be with him half injured and wincing in pain through every kiss or every thrust. His hands fell down to her thighs, smooth like the rest of her and he kept her dress hiked up so that her panties showed and he messed with the underwear band pulling it away from her skin in temptation and letting it slowly go back against her hip. His pants still kept the tightness and he felt a little embarrassed at having been so rough with her. He was pretty sure she could feel the issue he was having pressed up against her, but he didn't push her off. He laid his head back and laugh slightly.

"I'm so sorry, Marta. Forgive me for my behavior," he said with a smile.
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Marta wasn’t sure what came over her just then, but when she saw the same look of desire in Ezra’s eyes, she let out a gasp. The darkness to his eyes made Marta bite her lip. She couldn’t believe she was with such an attractive, handsome man. Feeling his hands on her legs, goosebumps raised on her skin. When Ezra encouraged her to move atop of him, she carefully straddled his waist, cautious not to hit his ribs or put too much weight on him. When he began to kiss her, she leaned over, resting her hands on the pillow under his head, not wanting to rest on his chest. She let out a sigh into the man’s lip, letting her tongue wander into his mouth and let his tastes overcome her. Kissing Ezra always created a tightness in Marta’s stomach, but tonight the tightness was more south on her body. It was a feeling she never experienced before.

When he ran his hands up her back, a shiver ran down her spine. And suddenly she felt something pressing against her inner thigh. She was a bit confused, thinking maybe it was his knee bent up, but when she pulled back and saw how flushed Ezra was, and the darkness of his eyes, she knew what was happening. She felt his arousal continued to rub against her, and suddenly Marta felt wetness form in her panties. For a moment, she thought that her period begun, but it was different. The wetness also came with a pressure in the same region, and it made her skin shiver every time Ezra’s arousal rubbed against her.

Marta continued to kiss Ezra on the lips, neck, face, wherever she could reach. However, when she felt Ezra’s hands on her panties, she let out a little moan and the wetness grew. She didn’t know what she was suppose to do, and too embarrassed to ask, so she was a bit relieved when Ezra stopped his motions. Marta felt a bit ashamed that she was so naive about sex, but she had a feeling Ezra was too. They were both discovering their own bodies together, while discovering each others. Everything felt good and right, but it was still a scary unknown.

When Ezra apologize, Marta shook her head and looked into his eyes. “No apologies needed. I am yours,” she whispered softly, her voice a bit huskier and deeper than normal.

It seemed both were ok with ending it here, so Marta carefully climbed off Ezra’s lap, but stayed closed. She laid down next to him, her front pressed into his side and her head resting on his shoulder. She felt the wetness in her panties getting cold and made it bit awkward, but she didn’t want to leave Ezra’s sides. Eventually she felt her eyes growing heavy and she fell asleep. It was the first night in days that Marta did not have a nightmare.

-----------

Marta awoke to sunshine pouring onto her face. She blinked her eyes a few times, adjusting to the light. She glanced up at the clock hanging in the bedroom and saw it was half past eight. Usually Ezra’s parents were up at 6 AM, so it felt nice to sleep in a little. Marta sat up and smiled at Ezra’s sleeping form. Last night came flooding back, and Marta’s cheeks flushed as she thought about it. She did not regret what happened, but it was new territory for the both of them. She wanted to touch and explore more of Ezra’s body, and have him to do things to her like he did last night again, but in baby steps. Reaching over, she pushed the hair from his eyes and kissed him gently on the cheek. She then carefully stood up, trying not to wake him. She wanted him to get as much sleep as possible. She grabbed clean clothes and went into the bathroom to freshen herself up, since she did not take care of the mess in her panties from last night. After she was clean, she went to go start breakfast, making sure to listen for Ezra since she is the only one here to help him now.
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Ezra stretched a little, the kind he'd done every morning since the hospital. It didn't quiet satisfy his body, but it was better than nothing. The sun hit his eyes and he groaned laying a hand over his head and pushing his curls in front of his eyes. He needed a little bit of a trim, but his parents refused to let anyone near him. He peaked through the curls to see if Marta was still by his side, but he knew the answer before he even checked. With a frown he pushed himself into a seated position and swung his legs over the bed. He'd lost track of the days and time since he hadn't been working or going to school. He was pretty sure he was considered a drop out now that he hadn't attended for more than a week.

He pulled himself up off the bed using the headboard and wobbled over to the wall that held his crutches. He could smell food coming from the kitchen and he closed his eyes to inhale the scent. "I could get used to this," he said to himself with a smile as he took his time walking out to meet Marta.

He saw her messing with the stove and part of him wanted to go and help, but the other part knew it wouldn't end well if he dropped his crutches. He let out a small cough to let her know he was in the room. "I see working in the bakery helped your cooking skills a little bit. Have you been watching my mom?" he asked moving over to the counter and leaning his back against it to take the pressure off his torso.

It was than that Atalia walked in with a stack of books. Ezra hadn't even heard the door downstairs or her steps so when she dropped the pile on the floor he jumped a bit and let out a bit of a yell. Atalia covered her mouth with her hands and looked at him with wide eyes. She was more shocked to see him half naked and slightly embarrassed that she hadn't thought to knock first.

"I'm sorry Ezra, I thought you'd be sleeping still," she said pushing her hair from her face and moving her gaze to Marta.

Ezra nodded slightly, leaning on Marta who had moved to his side the second he jumped, "What are you doing here Atalia? It's not even noon yet. I can't imagine you being awake this early."

"Your parents told me to check in periodically to make sure Marta had everything under control. I also had these books lying around from when we were kids learning about Judaism," she said taking a quick pause, "I...I thought Marta could use them. It's very basic stuff, you probably know it already, but I thought they could help you convert. Unless...you aren't doing that anymore. I overheard the Rabbi telling your parents it wasn't a good idea and you had been slightly against it while taking medication, but I thought maybe if she proved her knew her stuff they'd be more open to it," Atalia said looking at the floor now.

She was trying to show her acceptance of the situation and to let Marta know she wasn't going to get between them, that she would help them. Ezra was her best friend and just because they weren't to be wed anymore didn't make it any less true. She could sense the smile on his face without even looking up and she relaxed a bit as she bent down to pick up the books she'd dropped.
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Marta was working carefully over the stove, doing her best to copy what she saw Edith do. The past week, Marta woke every morning to help Edith make breakfast while Abe would get Ezra ready for the day. Marta didn’t want to tell Ezra she helped, because she was still learning, but she felt she was getting better. She was currently attempting to make malawach. It was a french toast like dish, made from a puffy dough that Edith made a large batch of yesterday before she left. Marta was carefully doing her best to fry the dough in the pan, not wanting to burn it or do it wrong.

Hearing a cough, Marta glanced up and saw Ezra standing there. She smiled brightly, and let her eyes appreciate the view. He had his shirt still unbutton and Marta could see his bare chest and for a moment, she felt her stomach form a loop. But she shook her thoughts away when she reminded herself she had to focus on breakfast. “Just you wait mister. You are going to be so impressed.” She looked up at him and stuck her tongue out playfully.

As she was beginning to flip the dough over to start frying the other side, there was suddenly a loud noise and Ezra screamed. Marta dropped her spatula and jumped out of her skin. She turned, panicking that it was Oscar and he snuck in, but when she saw Atalia she relaxed a bit. She saw that Ezra looked shaken, and with his weakened state, she went over and stood by his side, wrapping an arm around his waist. She felt him lean against her, and she let him.

She listened to Atalia explain the books she brought and Marta smiled at her. “Atalia that is so kind of you. It is a bit unclear what is going to happen” she said, a frown forming on her face for a moment, but taking a deep breath, “But I am not going to give up. And it means so much that you want to help.”

Suddenly a smell entered her nose and she remembered the breakfast. “Oh!” she said, making sure Ezra was ok, before turning back to the stove. Thankfully she caught it in time and nothing was burnt. She looked at Atalia, “Would you care to stay for breakfast?” she asked.
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Atalia hesitated a moment unsure if she should accept or leave them alone. "I don't want to intrude. You seem like you two wanted to be alone, which I understand. I'm sorry I just barged in the way I did," she said as she swallowed and looked everywhere else.

Ezra made his way over to her slowly and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Hey, you're not intruding. If she didn't want your company she wouldn't have asked. Plus you look like you haven't eaten in days. How's your mom taking everything?"

"She's sad about father still. We don't really eat anymore unless it's a special occasion. He's the one who brought the money, without him moms scrapping by. I don't like her to know how hungry I get. I eat some at school though. Joshua and Isiah give me food sometimes. The girls split their lunches also if they have extra. I'll get through it though. I started looking for a job," Atalia said quietly so that Marta couldn't hear. She didn't want the other girl feeling sorry for her, "on the plus side Isiah and his family have been talking with my mom. Since Beth moved away a couple months back he's been looking for a bride. You know I've always had a small crush on him. They think we could have the marriage soon."

Ezra grinned and walked to the table for a seat. Standing was starting to cause him some pain and he could feel himself getting tired. The news of Atalia and Isiah made him happy though. Isiah had been one of his closest friends growing up. Isiah and Atalia always had a special bond that Ezra used to be jealous of when they were kids, so to hear he would marry the girl he had to let down made him feel a little better. "That's great. Isiah is a good replacement for me. He's smarter and stronger. I would trust him with my life, so I trust him with yours. When would you two tie the knot?"

She glanced up at Marta and shrugged, "When school is over. They want it to happen fast so that him and I can have kids before it's too late. I know it's crazy to want to bring a child into this world with Hitler and the designated areas for Jews, but it's what our parents want and it could provide some normality. Maybe we could have a double wedding. You and Marta, me and Isiah. I trust she'll be converted by then."

Ezra looked over at Marta who was finishing up the breakfast and his smile dropped a little. They would never be able to marry with friends or family around if she didn't convert. They would have to do it in secret with only God to bare witness. He switched his gaze back to his friend who had taken the seat across from him rather than next to, which felt a little odd to him. He could sense the shift Atalia was making to ensure that she didn't make Marta uncomfortable. Her comfortable demeanor had changed to almost timid and she spoke much quieter. He felt guilt wash over him, but he refused to let it rest.
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Too distracted by cooking breakfast, Marta did not hear Ezra and Atalia talking. She glanced up occasionally and saw the two were obviously speaking, but it was in hushed tones and their heads were low. Obviously they didn’t want Marta to hear. And she understood, but it also sat heavy on her heart. She did not doubt Ezra’s love, or worry that he would suddenly leave her for Atalia. But the two have known each other their whole lives. They were best friends; Atalia knew things about Ezra that she may never know. She even probably knew how to make him feel better sometimes than she did. Marta hoped one day she could know Ezra as well as Atalia, but for now, she accepted that even if she was the one who was in Ezra’s arms at night, she was the third wheel in this situation.

Marta finished the malawach, proud that they appeared to look almost like Edith’s. They were a little smaller in shape, but the coloring was right and smelled right. She put it all onto the plate, took out the tomato paste sauce used on top and carried it over to the table. She set it down, before running back into the kitchen to get everyone plates and utensils.

She sat down, feeling a little jittery because she was nervous. “I hope it is ok. I know it won’t be as good as your mother’s” she said glancing over at Ezra, smiling gently, “But I understand if you don’t want to eat it.”

It is still so hard to believe how much her life has changed just in a month. Last month, she had ever meal prepared for her, she was driven wherever she needed, she had her clothes cleaned for her and she hadn’t a care in the world. Now, she was cooking not only for herself, but other people. She helped Edith with the laundry, and cleaning around the house. And if she wanted to get anywhere, it was on her own two feet or the bus. But now that she was officially cut off from her parents, she would have to be more careful with the little money she had managed to save and keep on her.

She ate her food, impressing herself a little. It didn’t taste bad, and it seemed to be cooked right, so she mentally patted herself on the back. She glanced over at the books Atalia brought before looking across the table at Atalia, “I would love your help with the books Atalia. I know that the journey a Jewish girl takes to become a woman is different. Bless Ezra’s heart, he has tried to explain it, but he is a little less knowledgeable in that area.”

Atalia smiled gently, “Of course Marta. Us ladies need to stick together.”
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Atalia and Marta had just finished cleaning up the dishes, sharing girl talk about Isiah and stories about Ezra from his childhood while he sat on the couch denying the fact that he once broke his mothers favorite plate trying to jump off the kitchen table and then denied it all while he cried holding his broken arm. She shared the stories of him sticking up for kids on the playground and teaching people how to be nice. How he'd been pushed around, but never resorted to violence himself. He was the saint they had needed in their lives as kids and it was Ezra who had showed them all the path of right.

Marta was standing behind the couch and Atalia was on the floor in front looking through the books to see which would better to start with when the door downstairs busted open. Footsteps came quickly up the steps and Atalia and Ezra were frozen in place when they finally emerged before them dressed in full uniform. Atalia shook her head and looked at Ezra who was struggling to stand. Marta had found her way to his side and was holding him up when the first man spoke.

"We're here for a Marta. We've got reason to believe her father has been part of illegal activity. Please step forward," the man said in a low voice.

Ezra refused to look at her scared he'd give her away. "You don't have any right to enter this house. This is private property. You can't come in here and harass my family," he said voice firm.

"This doesn't concern you rat. Marta step forward now or we take you all in. You seem like nice kids, but we won't hesitate to use force and that one looks like he's about ready to pass out already," another man said.

Atalia stood up hands above her head. "I am...I am Marta. I am the girl you are looking for," she said loud enough for them to hear.

The men looked her over in disgust. "You've even begun dressing like them. Disgusting. Sympathizer's are the worst. You're coming with us," the first one said grabbing Atalia forcefully by the arm.

She let out a small squeak and tears began to fall from her face as she faced the same men who had taken her father previously. She looked back at Ezra who had his hand over Marta's mouth. She could see he was using all his strength to hold himself up. Her body began to shake as they pushed her down the stairs. She stumbled a few times, but it only made them angry. Ezra could hear one of the men slap Atalia in the face as if she was struggling, but he knew the man did it just because he could. He flinched the echo of impact in the stair way. His body began to tremble and he let his hand fall when the door closed. He could hear the sobs from outside the window. Atalia's screams were almost deafening until the cars drove away.

Ezra fell back into the sofa eyes wide and glassy from the tears that refused to fall. His breathing was rough and he couldn't stop the shaking in his hands. He reached for his pendant, and then dropped his hand. He didn't deserve the star of David around his neck. He'd just betrayed his own people. He betrayed his best friend. He let his heart rule over his mind and he allowed himself to let Atalia go to her possible death. He kept trying to speak but all that came out was small squeaks. He looked at Marta to gauge her reaction. She probably felt just as bad as he did.

"I couldn't let you...I had to stop you from coming forward. I got her killed Marta. It was you or her. If she doesn't come back...if Isiah finds out...her blood is on my hands. I stopped you. I betrayed her. Who..who am I? I don't..." his voice began to shake and the tears he'd been holding back finally drenched his face and he began to claw at his chest like he was trying to rip his heart out, "I can't breath. I don't know how to breath. What have I done? I turned on my people. I let her get taken. I didn't have a choice, no I had a choice...you or her," he was repeating the last phrase over and over trying to find the logic behind his actions. "You or her, you or her, you or her..."
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Marta was enjoying so much hearing about little Ezra. It made her heart warm when she learned he was just as sweet and loving as a child as he was now, but it didn't surprise her. Marta was standing behind the couch, her hand subconsciously running through his hair, listening to Atalia speak about the difference between a bar and bat mitzvah. It was a celebration for Jewish kids when they were 12 and 13. They were now adults, meaning they had to take responsibility for their actions. Marta internally frowned, knowing she would never be able to have her own, but maybe one day she would have a children and could celebrate theirs.

Marta was feeling wonderful. She felt a new friendship forming with Atalia, and after last night, she felt even closer to Ezra. Little did she know, things were about to make a drastic change. When Marta heard the door slam open, she jumped out of her skin. She knew right away it could not be Ezra's parents because they weren't due back yet, and also they would not be so violent in their entrance. Fear sweeping her, Marta quickly circled the couch, and stood next to Ezra who had stood up. She clutched onto his hand and arm and felt her heart stop when the three officers appeared before them. Her heart was racing, what were they doing here? Did something happen to Ezra's parents? Were they here to take him too? She held onto the boy even tighter, listening to him try in vain to get the men to leave.

And then they spoke, and when she heard her name, Marta's eyes widened. It was like time froze for a moment, her brain unable to fully register what happened. And before she could decide what to do, she heard Atalia confessing that she was Marta. Marta shook her head, but before she could do anything, Ezra's hands was over her mouth. She tried to fight him, but despite his injuries, he was still stronger than her. Tears were streaming down her face, her chest heaving as she watched Atalia dragged out of the apartment. This couldn't happen, not another person hurt, or worse killed, because of her.

When Ezra dropped his hand, Marta didn't move a muscle. She was hyperventilating, staring at the entrance Atalia was just taken through. She had to make this right, she had to fix this. Fuck those men. Fuck Hitler. Anger was boiling up in Marta, she was feeling something she has never felt before in her life: rage. She felt her teeth clenching and her fist tightening. She barely registered what Ezra was talking about.

Suddenly without warning, Marta let out a scream. Letting all the rage escape through her mouth. She felt momentarily better, but she was still seeing red. Looking at Ezra, her heart clenched, she felt bad, but she was also so mad. Mad at him, mad at the officers, mad at the world.

"You fool!" she said, her voice louder, but she tried not to sound too harsh, "You should have let them take me! They are going to discover very quickly Atalia is not me, and then they will kill her! And then they will come back for me, and kill you too for trying to hide me! My life is not worth that much!"

She let out another scream, and began pacing around the small room. She had to make this right. Marta would have to turn herself in. She knew that Atalia was doomed, she couldn't save her at this point. But if she turned herself in, at least Ezra could be spared. Marta began to think where they would have taken Atalia. Possibly the police station, but knowing her father was involved, they could be holding her at the government offices. Thinking of her father, she felt anger rise again. What happened? Did he confess to having a sympathizer as a daughter? She truly wished that wasn't the case; she knew she disappointed her father, but deep down Marta felt that he still loved and cared for her. No he must have been betrayed.

Deciding the best path was to turn herself in, Marta ran into the bedroom and slipped on her shoes and grabbed her coat. When she came back out, she looked at Ezra. He hadn't moved from the couch, his body shaking, and he looked like he just saw a ghost. Marta suddenly felt her resolve melt, and she dropped her coat. She walked over, carefully she climbed onto Ezra's lap, straddling his waist. Unlike last time, the movement was not sexual at all. She reached up, her hands on both sides of his face, and made him look at her.

"Ezra..." she said softly, her fingers playing with his loose curls around his neck, "I need you to tell me who to call to come watch you after I leave."

Marta didn't think she would ever be returning, so she was going to take a few minutes to be with Ezra and make him understand what was happening, and to say her goodbyes.
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Ezra listened to Marta yell at him, not sure what to say. Each word felt like a knife to gut and his chest only got tighter. He wasn't sure he understood. She was mad at him, but he had just saved her life. Why was that a bad thing. Her screams echoed in his ears along with Atalia's in an endless cycle. The tears had stopped falling and when she finally came back to the room he already expected her words. She was leaving him. There was nothing he could do. She forced him to look at her and but he wasn't sure if the words she was saying were real or fake. Everything began to hurt inside of him and not just because of the injury. He shook his head gently trying to will her to stay with him His eyes became watery once more and he leaned his head forward so that it was resting on her shoulder and began to sob as his arms wrapped tightly around her waist refusing to let her go.

"Don't leave me, Marta. I can't watch you go too. I know I'm a terrible person. I'm the worst man alive, just as bad as Hitler, but you cannot abandon me. I can't carry this weight without you by my side," he was pleading with her now, "Don't do this. Don't leave me. You can hit me or cut me or torture me in any other way but I would not survive if you walked out that door. I did my best. I did what I had to and now..." his words cut off as his body shook even harder and his fingers gripped onto her tighter.

He pulled away from her ashamed of himself and his actions. Had his parents been here they'd have yelled at him too. Called him a traitor and they never would have let him live it down. He began to slowly detach and his body stopped trembling. His breath was still ragged, but the tears no longer fell. His eyes were hallow like his chest and when he looked at her now he saw and felt nothing. He leaned against the sofa and let his arms fall away. He had no right to have her in the first place or to beg her to stay.

"You can go. I'm sorry. I'll be fine on my own. Forever on my own. I don't need you or help. Go and do what you need to. Runaway from me and this life. I don't blame you for changing your mind. I wouldn't want me either after tonight. I'm a traitor to my people and nothing I do is ever right. I won't be alive long anyway. Find yourself a real man to make you his wife and never think of the moment we shared yesterday. Never think of me again, Marta," Ezra said in a monotone voice that felt and sounded robotic as it came out. He was torn between wanting her to stay and wanting her to leave so he detached himself from the situation all together and decided to feel nothing.
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Marta felt her determination slipping. She suddenly found the thought of leaving Ezra becoming harder and harder. When he wrapped his arms around her and cried into her shoulder, Marta held onto his tightly. She ran her fingers through his hair, hushing him as she tried to calm his tears. She felt stuck now, torn between the right choice. Her mind told her go, do what she can to right the situation. Maybe there was a chance they would free Atalia, but her gut told her that was highly unlikely. She was a Jewish girl who just tried to pass as a rich, Christian girl. But maybe Marta could somehow bargain for her freedom. But then her heart, her heart was here. Her heart was clenching onto her right at that moment. Her heart that belonged to Ezra was telling her to stay.

His words were like the last strikes with the hammer. Her determination was gone and she knew her mind was made up. She wasn't going to leave. The guilt of Atalia's fate would follow her like a curse, but Ezra was the most important person in her life and he needed her. He lost his best friend, he couldn't lose Marta too. But they were no longer safe at all here. The home, which had been a sanctuary of sorts for them, was now dangerous and tainted. But Marta wasn't sure where they could go.

She felt Ezra pull away from her physically and mentally. His voice changed and he seemed non-human. She almost want to shake him, did not want to hurt him. She refused to move from his lap, not until she knew Ezra was snapped out of it. So many emotions and thoughts were in the air, neither of them thinking 100% clearly, but Marta felt like she had to be the voice of reason, to some extent.

Forcing Ezra's head back up, she gave him an intense look. Not anger, or sadness, but a look she hoped would bring him back to her. "I promise you last night that I would never leave your sight. And I won't break that promise. I am not changing my mind, you are my everything Ezra and I am not going anywhere. Not now. I let my fear and anger blind me, but I am thinking more clearly. You are the real man I want in my life, so I need you to come back to me. We need to figure this out together."

She stood up from his lap, reaching down she helped him stand too and walked him back into the bedroom. Once he was settled on the bed, Marta looked down at him. "Ezra we can't stay here. They are going to come back looking for me. Is there any place you can think of where we can go?"
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Ezra shrugged a moment trying to remember if there was any place they'd be safe when Jeremiah came into his mind. He hesitated a moment wondering if it would be a good idea to involve him. He wouldn't judge, he'd just be disappointed in him. He sat up and began to nod his head a moment before deciding to speak.

"Jeremiah. He's a family friend. He's like an uncle to me, but he's a couple blocks down. Mom and Dad told me I could trust him always ever since I was a kid. He'll help," Ezra said trying to get the screams inside his head to stop.

"You need to get me a bag, and you need one also. You can't lug around expensive suitcases. I should have a duffel in the living room and then my dad has a spare in the closet. We can pack some clothes...and hope my parents don't come home earlier than expected," he said trying to remain calm.

It was a struggle to move around the house packing things they might need. He'd made a call to Jeremiah to let him know that he would be coming over and to set up a space for him in the living room. The old man obliged without question and promised to have the house ready for him and Marta. Walking down the steps was hard, but the determination to get Marta to safety was even stronger. The buses didn't run directly to Jeremiah's area so they could only ride it half way there. Marta did her best to help keep him steady and when they finally arrived at their destination he could barley stand. Jeremiah half carried him to the sofa and set him down gently.

"Ezra, you can stay as long as you need to, but I need to know what happened. I can't go into this blind, son," Jeremiah said helping Marta with her bag and setting her down next to Ezra. He went to the kitchen and brought back some tea as he waited for one of them to explain.

Ezra hesitated a moment, "They came to our house Jeremiah. They took Atalia right in front of me and I didn't stop them. They just barged in without any reasoning. I heard her screams and I heard them hit her and I couldn't do anything. I just stood there frozen," he said as another wave of guilt washed over him.
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When Ezra spoke about Jeremiah, Marta nodded her head. She recalled him speaking of the family-friend numerous time, though Marta has yet to meet him. In fact, Marta hasn't met anyone in Erza's life except for his parents and Atalia. She knew though that if Ezra trusted the man, Marta would too. She prayed that Ezra's parents stayed away as long as they would, that way they wouldn't be here if the gestapo came back. Marta quickly got to work, getting the bags and began packing only the essentials. She packed majority of her clothes, since she didn't have many anyways, and she packed enough clothes for Ezra to have a different outfit for seven days. With winter approaching, she made sure to pack some gloves and scarves and had their two winter coats. Once everything was ready, and Jeremiah was alerted, they got ready to leave.

Marta looked around, making sure they weren't forgetting anything or leaving any trace of where they are going. Only than the empty dresser drawers, it did not look like anything was different. She glanced around and saw a framed picture of Ezra with parents, and then one with himself and Atalia. When he wasn't looking, Marta carefully stuck them into her suitcase. She wished they could bring more because she knew when the police came back they would trash everything, but they had to carry light.

Helping Ezra down the stairs and onto the bus, while carrying the suitcases was a difficult task, but she had to do it. She had to be the strong one, mentally and physically. She held onto his hand tight and let him put as much weight on her as he needed during the bus ride. By the time they reached Jeremiah's apartment, Marta's legs were shaking and she could only imagined how exhausted Ezra was. Once they were safe inside, and the bags taken care of, Marta went over and sat down next to Ezra, once again reaching for his hand. She didn't want him out of her sight now, and if she wasn't touching him, she felt insane.

She listened with so much guilt as Ezra gave a brief description of what happened. Marta swallowed hard and looked up at Jeremiah.

"Don't blame Ezra sir. Everything is my fault. My name is Marta, and I am sure you are aware of who I am and why I am shocked you agreed to allow me into your house. My father, he works for the government, and somehow the police found out that I, his daughter, was a Jewish sympathizer. They barged into Ezra's house today, and Atalia, for whatever reason I will never understand, claimed to be me. They took her before I could stop them." She left out that it was Ezra who actually stopped her, but it wasn't important. "I wish there was a way to save Atalia, but I fear it may be too late."

Jeremiah had sat and listened to her story intently, not showing any emotion on his face. She was waiting for him to throw her out of his house, but he simply nodded his head. "Excuse me, I need to make some calls."

Jeremiah stood, Marta giving him a strange look. That was not the response she was expecting. But for now she ignored it, and she turned to look at Ezra. She knew there was nothing she could say to make things better. He would be distraught for days, even weeks, over his friend. So Marta just leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder and stayed close. It was all she could do at the moment.
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Ezra hesitated a moment before moving himself away from Marta. He didn't want to be touched at the moment. He didn't feel like he deserved any form of kindness, especially from her. Deep down she probably hated him for covering her mouth and at the moment he hated himself. He was sure if Jeremiah knew what he did then they'd both be kicked out and left on the streets or back at the home where Atalia's screams would linger. He looked over at Marta with a sadness that seemed like it would forever be carved onto his face.

"I can't have you touch me like that. I don't want to feel your love. I want to hate myself for what I did. I should have protected her. If she hadn't come over or if I hadn't talked her into staying she'd be alive and well. Instead she's probably being tortured just like her father was. I could see it in her eyes Marta. She knew I'd never see her again. It was like this was her parting gift to us and I can't help but hate myself. How am I better than Oscar? Just because I'm not the one who physically handed her over...I still allowed her to be taken," Ezra said as he heard Jeremiah's muffled voice in the background.

Classical music was playing, it tended to ease Ezra's soul. Jeremiah was the one who taught him about music therapy, but tonight it seemed to make things worse. He turned his face away from Marta and stared blankly ahead. After a moment he stood up and the movement alone made his body shake with pain but sitting still wasn't an option. He grabbed the blankets that were sitting on the shelf and began to lay them out on the floor as best as he could. He wanted to sleep forever.

"If I lay down and close my eyes do I even deserve to wake up, Marta?" He asked holding onto the pillow like it was his only form of oxygen.

Jeremiah came back to the living room then and gently touched Ezra's shoulder. "Son, you shouldn't be standing anymore. You need to sit and rest. Your tender to the touch. Lift your shirt and let me see your body."

Ezra dropped the pillow to the floor and unbuttoned the shirt he had on. His torso was a giant bruise from all the movement and he heard the older man sigh and say a small prayer. His necklace was cold against his chest, and when Jeremiah gently touched his body he bit his lip and fell to his knees breathing hard.

"No more movement for the next three days, Ezra. I mean it. You will be staying in the guest room not here. The blankets you were just handling are in case the room gets cold. I will bathe you unless you'd rather Marta do it. We will bring you whatever it is you need and I have my people looking into Atalia. Do not ask questions, if you don't want to know the answers," Jeremiah said lifting Ezra up and sitting him back on the couch. "The bed in the guest room is big enough to fit you both, I just ask you keep it down in there. Marta, do you want to bring him up, while I grab the bags?"
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Marta flinched when Ezra pulled away from her. She was hurt by Ezra's words, but she didn't let him know. He was upset and grieving, Marta was too, but she couldn't imagine what Ezra was feeling. If Ezra needed some space, she would give it to him, even if it made her unhappy. What would make Marta happy was knowing Atalia was safe and Ezra could see her again, and then all of them and Ezra's parents ran away. Left the country and never looked back and started a new life. But it wasn't that simple, it was never that simple.

Hearing his words, Marta felt cold stabs all over her skin. He was blaming himself so much, yet she wanted to make him realize it wasn't. None of it was his fault. It was all her fault. They were there for her, Marta was the one they wanted. If Marta never came into Ezra's life last month, then Ezra would be well and Atalia would be alive. Marta could imagine it; Ezra would be baking fresh bread in the bakery and Atalia would come in and would make him laugh and smile. They would discuss school, their religion, and everything they had in common. His life would be better, or as best it could be with the situation happening in the country.

She watched him carefully as he stood, even if he didn't want her touch, she wasn't going to let him fall to the ground, not if she could stop it. When he spoke of death that made Marta's heart stopped. She looked at him, her face in pain. Not physical pain, but emotional pain. How could he say something like that? He had to know that it would upset her. But he wasn't himself, at least, not the man who she spent the night with last night. It was insane how much can change in 24 hours.

When Jeremiah came back in and was fussing over Ezra, Marta was just doing her best not to have a meltdown. She didn't deserve to be emotional anymore, at least not now. The focus had to remain on Ezra. When Jeremiah asked her to bring him up to the bedroom, she nodded her head hesitantly. She knew Ezra would not be thrilled, but Marta was just doing as she was told. So wrapping an arm around Ezra's waist, she led him slowly up the stairs to the second floor and brought him into the room she assumed was the guest room since it just had a bed and a dresser, whereas the other room had a desk and other items around the room.

Once Ezra was settled in the bed, and Jeremiah brought him some water and their bags, he left the two alone to go make more phone calls. Marta stood by the bed, looking at Ezra. "Should I leave you alone?" she asked. He did not seem to want her near, and it hurt her. Just last night he spoke of never wanting her out of his sight.
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"No. You need to rest yourself. You're tired and there isn't anything we can do. I'm sorry. My mind is going on a loop and I can't figure out what I want or even what I need, but I know when you're here...when you're around me I get better. My body hurts and I want to give you affection you need. I know you're hurting like I am. I know you're blaming yourself in the same ways that I'm blaming myself. I know all this, but looking at you I can't help thinking I made the write choice because in my heart all I want is to see you safe. You tried to give yourself up. I know you hate me for not allowing it. I knew what they would do and when she jumped up claiming to be you...I went with it," Ezra said taking his shirt off completely and laying back so he could breath better.

He watched her face contort into sadness and helplessness. She needed him to be stronger than he was, but after everything that kept happening he was at his limit. He wanted his parents. They always knew how to handle situations, but they were off somewhere else. He wanted a comforting touch, but he felt like he didn't deserve it. He deserved the pain he was feeling, mentally and psychically. He pushed down on his chest and a small cry escaped his lips. He moved his fingers down his chest where his ribs were and most of the bruising and pushed down. He coughed a bit and a few drops of blood made its way to his lips and down his chin. He pushed again, harder this time watching Marta to see if she would react.

He coughed again more blood. His face had grown pale at the taste of it in his mouth and began to kick his legs like a child throwing a tantrum. "Why do you stay when it's so dangerous. I can't even protect you in the state I'm in. Today was the only time I felt like I truly did you any good. I don't regret saving you, I regret putting you in this position. I should have let you walk away that day one month ago and let you cry out from the words I spoke in the shop. I shouldn't have gone after you. If I had just stayed away you'd be at your home with your parents ignorant to the world and happy. I will never get to see you happy and I think that's what pains me most," Ezra said coughing once more. He gave her a forced smile, but his eyes still held the angst he was feeling deep inside.

His teeth were bloody and all he wanted to do was reach out and touch her, but he didn't deserve the touch of love he reminded himself. He deserved to feel alone.
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Marta stood there, looking at Ezra like a child looked for her mother. She felt lost and confused and scared. Marta truly wondered if this was Ezra's final straw, that he wasn't going to come back from this. Marta would never give up on him, no matter what, but in the end, only Ezra can choose to get better and be happy. She moved a little closer to the bed, sitting down near his feet. She wanted to be closer but still kept from touching him. "Ezra I don't hate your choice for stopping me. If i were in your shoes, I would have done the same thing. I never even imagined Atalia doing that, nor will I understand why. I have brought nothing but pain for her, so why did I deserve her mercy and her help?"

She looked down at her shoes, and was fiddling with a loose button on her dress. She wasn't fully aware of what Ezra was doing until he let out a whimper. Marta looked up, thinking he must have shifted weird and was in pain. But then she watched in horror as Ezra pushed down on his ribs and moaned in pain. She saw the blood trickling from his mouth and Marta had to put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't scream in pure terror. She stood up, reaching over trying to make Ezra stop, but he almost seemed in a weird trance. His words were not translating in her mind, she barely heard him. All she cared about was stopping the bleeding coming from his mouth and getting him to stop moving. Eventually he seemed to wear himself out and Marta stood there shaking.

She turn and ran from the room and down the stairs, stumbling at the bottom. She found Jeremiah in the kitchen making tea. She was trembling and tears pouring from her face. "Ezra...hospital...bleeding" she couldn't even form full sentences. But Jeremiah understood, and ran up the stairs. When he saw the boy lying there, his skin growing paler by the minute, Jeremiah knew it was bad. Scooping the boy in his arms, he carried him down the stairs, telling Marta to grab his car keys on the counter. Once outside, he took Ezra over to his car, placing him in the back seat, telling Marta to go in their and hold him. Marta listened, sitting down and placing Ezra's head in her lap. Tears falling down her face as she watched blood still coming from his mouth.

They reached the hospital and for the second time in a week, Marta watched the man she loved taken behind the doors and she couldn't follow. Nor could Jeremiah when they realized he wasn't family. So the two waited. Jeremiah pacing back and forth, while Marta sat huddled in a chair, her body trembling that it made her vision shaky and everything around her blurry. Would God ever give them a break?
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Jeremiah finally settled himself down next to Marta and put a comforting hand around her shoulders the way a father would. He felt her pain as his own and let out a sigh as he looked around to see if anybody he knew was on call this day. His eyes landed on two men in getsapo uniform who seemed to be flirting with a couple of the nurses. He shook his head slightly and turned to the girl. "Marta, I'll get you back there, but you see those two men," he said motioning towards the front desk, "stay away from them. All of them talk and word travels fast these days between those types of men. If they know who you are it may get Atalia killed. If someone calls for you, ignore them. You're no longer Marta at the moment," he said standing up.

He began walking towards a mild aged man who was looking at a clipboard. Jeremiah took the clipboard from his hands and began to write something down. That girl. She needs protection here. Trouble from G he scribble down and handed the papers back to the man. The doctor glanced up his eyes fell to Marta and Jeremiah nodded. He could faintly hear the conversation from the men in the background, but when Marta's name came up his ears perked a bit.

"Father is a government worker, but it appears his daughter sympathizes with the rats. Took her in to question her. Marta may just be getting brainwashed. We'll break her through and then we'll go for the baker's boy," the first man said. He was younger than his partner and his smile was evil.

"I heard he's been here a few times. The good lord has a sweet spot for him or something. Maybe we're supposed to use him and that girl as a lesson. Teach all the other boys and girls why you should kill any Jew you come in contact with," the other man said, slightly older and graying.

The first man laughed, "I heard the boy tried to kick them out too. They had to rough up Marta to show her just what would happen to people like her. We'll let her go if she gives up her fathers secrets. A girl doesn't just sympathize for no reason. It starts from the family and then the Jewish scum feed off that. Probably fed her some bullshit about them being good people."

Jeremiah turned back to the doctor who was already walking towards Marta. The stranger sat down next to her and quickly flipped the page on his clipboard and wrote her a little message. You're Ezra's cousin. You're watching over him while his parents are gone. Your name is Kiva. Only respond to that name. He slipped the paper to her and then stood up and walked away. Jeremiah took his place back at Marta's side keeping an eye on the getsapo men.

"Those men are after you and Ezra. Keep yourself a low profile here," Jeremiah whispered as a nurse walked over to them.

"Hi, Dr. Futterman said you were the cousin of one of our patients, a Ezra Baer. Are you Kiva Baer?" She asked with a smile.
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Marta was so trapped in her mind she didn't know anything going on around her. All she could see in her mind was the blood coming from Ezra's mouth. It shook her to the core, it would be an image she would never forget. And the fact that she couldn't be by his side was testing her limit of sanity. She didn't care anymore if Ezra didn't want to her near him, she just wanted to hold her hand. She felt a body sit down next to her, and she glanced up, her mind barely registering that it was Jeremiah. He heard his words, but didn't fully process them. All she heard was low profile. How could she keep a low profile when she was ready to crawl from her skin and scream until she got what she wanted.

But she managed, she just sat there, doing her best to keep her shaking to a minimum, but every time a doctor walked out from behind the doors she wasn't allowed past, she felt her heart racing and waited to see if they would come talk to her. But they never did. She would sink deeper into her chair each time it happened.

Marta was completely unaware of what Jeremiah was doing or the two men only a few feet away from her talking about her. It was probably for the best, because if she did, who knows what her actions would have been. Would she jump up and confess to her true identity? Would she try and run? Would she ignore the rules and race back and try and find Ezra, only to get kicked out and never be able to see them? They would never know and that is why it was for the best.

Suddenly she saw a doctor walking towards her, she sat up, her nerves racing. She hadn't noticed that the doctor was just talking to Jeremiah, so she thought he was coming over to tell her news about Ezra. But when he handed her a piece of paper, she gave him a piece of paper and left without a word. Marta confused, discretely unfolded the paper and read it. Marta went pale white, all the blood rushing from her face. She felt Jeremiah sit down next to her. Marta felt her hands shaking, the paper making a crinkling noise in her hand. But Marta took a deep breath; she had to remain calm and not draw any attention to herself. It took all her strength left not to look over at the gestapo. If they did it could arouse suspicion.

She looked up, keeping her eyes only on Jeremiah. She nodded her head, letting him know she understood what was happening now. It was more important than ever that she found out what was wrong with Ezra and get him out of here as soon as possible. She just prayed it wasn't too late and only she would be leaving the hospital. She shook that thought from her head, He will make it . She saw a nurse come over to her and ask if she was Ezra's cousin.

She nodded her head, sitting up and doing her best to act normal, "Yes I am Kiva. Do you know how my cousin is doing?"

"He had to go into emergency surgery. He was experiencing internal bleeding from his ribs puncturing his organs. We will let you know as soon as he is out of surgery."

Marta felt nauseous. Ezra was in such a frail state and Marta felt tears form in her eyes. He did too much... between their intimacy last night, and holding her back physical this morning and the traveling to Jeremiah's, it was too much for his body. Marta lowered her head, her hands burying themselves in her hair. She started saying every prayer she could think of, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, whatever. Ezra had to come out of this alive, he just had to.
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Ezra woke up in a daze and feeling like a bus just hit him. He couldn't remember where he was or why he had an IV in his arm. Color was still drained from his face but he couldn't taste blood in his mouth anymore. He looked around and tried to sit up only to have a gentle hand push him back down. He looked up to see a women dressed in nurse attire. Her gray hair was pulled into a tight bun and she was looking at him with disapproving eyes.

"Don't move. You've just had surgery. You risk pulling a stitch, dear. I have them grabbing your cousin Kiva now," the women said.

Ezra looked at her a bit confused. He didn't have a cousin in town, and none of his cousin were named Kiva. He was about to protest when she put a finger to his lips and shook her head.

"Don't protest. Just wait until she comes into the room," the women warned him motioning towards the door where one of the getsapo was placed. He sucked in a sharp breath and pain shot through him. He flinched a bit which caused the nurse to chuckle. "Jeremiah said you were funny."

His ears perked up at the name of Jeremiah, "You know him?" was all he could get out.

"He's your uncle and Kiva is your cousin. They are father and daughter. They should be in here shortly," the women said checking his blood pressure. "You've been out for a couple hours now. We were waiting for you to show signs of life before we called them in. You were bleeding internally. I honestly didn't think they'd be able to save you, but it seems you've got a guardian angel, Mr. Ezra Baer."

Ezra gave a light laugh and closed his eyes a bit. He still felt groggy, but the pain from earlier had began to dim. He knew it was the medication making him feel like this, but didn't bother protesting. After a couple minutes the door opened and Ezra let his head fall lazily to the side. Jeremiah walked in first and then Marta followed.

"Ma..Marta" he whispered in a voice he wasn't sure anyone else heard.

Jeremiah hushed him quickly, "Don't say that name boy or you'll get her killed," he said shutting the door so the three of them could have a little privacy.
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