@Urbanliner
Better on abilities.
Nothing really changed on the personality side, but that wording makes me hate it a lot less.
"As he joined, his rivals dropped out one by one as hard infantry training went on" seems at first to suggest that his rivals left because he joined and then that it was because of his training.
I take it English isn't your first language? its not a problem, but it may affect how I judge things.
Better on abilities.
Nothing really changed on the personality side, but that wording makes me hate it a lot less.
"As he joined, his rivals dropped out one by one as hard infantry training went on" seems at first to suggest that his rivals left because he joined and then that it was because of his training.
I take it English isn't your first language? its not a problem, but it may affect how I judge things.