You are CALICALIBUR, and you are at the border of the old lands of GASHADOKURO, homeland of the NINJA SKELETONS, and CHAINBEARDIA, homelands of the PIRATE SKELETONS. Before you is a road to the mythical land of GROUNDCOW; homeland of the lost COWBOY SKELETONS and their art of COWBOY.

With you is your trusty steed, HORSEY. HORSEY is a skeleton horse. On your person is a KATANA, a prized sword given to you by a nobleskeleton of GASHADOKURO, and a PISTOL, a muzzle-loaded sidearm gifted to you by your best friend from CHAINBEARDIA.

Aside, you are wearing NOTHING, because you are a badass skeleton destined to become BIG BONE. and BIG BONE doesn't actually need 'clothes' or 'armor', because he's just that hard. Nonetheless, before you is a ROAD, and you can see SMOKE in the distance.

Probably fucbois.

A) Go on the road
B) Find an alternative route
C) Check your inventory again
D) Spook somebody
E) Something else entirely

D) Spook.

D) Spook someone

They probably have cool stuff we can take after vigorously spooking them.

D) Spook somebody
E) Something else

Make sure to draw on your angry eyebrows so they know you mean business.

You'd draw on some angry eyebrows, but you don't have a marker or pencil with you. Nonetheless, you go back from whence you came, further up the road, and see a CARAVAN of traders, likely trading in fine scimitars and spaghetti noodles. You sneak up to one of the guards of the CARAVAN and spook the shit out of him; he drops his BUSTER SCIMITAR; it's like a REALLY FAT KATANA. You believe you have just enough discipline in both the PIRATE and NINJA schools to use it, so you pick it up.

You use your powers of NINJA to evade them after spooking the shit out of one of their number, and go back to HORSEY, who's been doing horse stuff while you were gone.

Strangely, there's a puddle of brown liquid when you get back to where you were. Horsey seems spookied by it.

A) Lick Liquid
B) Go back to apologize to Caravan
C) Practice with your BUSTER SCIMITAR
D) Tell Horsey he's a big wuss.
E) Go back and spook somebody again.
F) Something completely different.