4 Guests viewing this page
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Leos Klien
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Leos Klien

Leos Klien A gun to kill the past.

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@POOHEAD189Albert approved of this.
All the doges :D
1x Like Like
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by josephb
Raw
Avatar of josephb

josephb

Member Seen 4 mos ago

Hey. I'm interested in this if it's still open? :)
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
Raw
GM
Avatar of MiddleEarthRoze

MiddleEarthRoze The Ultimate Pupper

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@josephb

Feel free to send in a CS for us to look at. :)

@ethanjory@nariata
Are we still interested?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by josephb
Raw
Avatar of josephb

josephb

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@MiddleEarthRoze I'll get one up tonight.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ethanjory
Raw
Avatar of ethanjory

ethanjory The Mary-Sue Master

Member Seen 28 days ago

@MiddleEarthRoze Sorry to say, but I'll have to pass on this one, good luck anyway.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
Raw
GM
Avatar of MiddleEarthRoze

MiddleEarthRoze The Ultimate Pupper

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@ethanjory

Alrighty, thanks for letting us know.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by josephb
Raw
Avatar of josephb

josephb

Member Seen 4 mos ago



Let me know if you want me to fix anything. :)
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
Raw
Avatar of BurningCold

BurningCold Magical Bastard

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Here's my app. For reference, I believe all of the spells chosen are from Oblivion with the exception of oakflesh, which is from Skyrim.

Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by POOHEAD189
Raw
Avatar of POOHEAD189

POOHEAD189 The Abmin

Admin Seen 1 hr ago

I'm brainstorming on ze character currently, mah fwands
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
Raw
Avatar of BurningCold

BurningCold Magical Bastard

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@MiddleEarthRoze Just in case you're not getting any notifications without mentions, here you go.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Leos Klien
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Leos Klien

Leos Klien A gun to kill the past.

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@BurningColdNo need to worry, we are going over everyones Cs' and seeing if they require any rework, it should be done by tonight.
1x Like Like
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
Raw
GM
Avatar of MiddleEarthRoze

MiddleEarthRoze The Ultimate Pupper

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@BurningCold

As the man said ^^.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Frizan
Raw

Frizan Free From This Backwater Hellsite

Contest Mod Seen 2 yrs ago

"On careful reexamination we have determined that everyone's sheets are flaming garbage. Do it over, shitlords!"
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
Raw
GM
Avatar of MiddleEarthRoze

MiddleEarthRoze The Ultimate Pupper

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

"On careful reexamination we have determined that everyone's sheets are flaming garbage. Do it over, shitlords!"


how the fuck did you get into our PMs
fuck
EVERYONE IGNORE THIS
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by POOHEAD189
Raw
Avatar of POOHEAD189

POOHEAD189 The Abmin

Admin Seen 1 hr ago

"On careful reexamination we have determined that everyone's sheets are flaming garbage. Do it over, shitlords!"

*hasn't made character yet*

Dodged the fuckin' bullet there.
2x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
Raw
GM
Avatar of MiddleEarthRoze

MiddleEarthRoze The Ultimate Pupper

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

Many, many apologies for the delay in these reviews! I've been swamped with Uni work, and I know @Leos Klien has been busy too.

@josephb
Thanks for getting your sheet done so quickly - everything seem's okay except his backstory is a bit short.
The first part is great, but for a guy who's 66 years old, I'd like a little more detail in what's occurred in his life - particularly how he heard about the mercenary group and why he joined; not knowing what to do isn't much of an excuse for such a drastic change in occupations, considering how common death is for such groups. His reasons behind leaving are somewhat iffy as well - if the boy he beat so badly was the boss's son, I think he'd receive a far more brutal punishment than just being kicked out of the company.

So, fix and add some of his backstory and the seal of approval is yours! :D

@BurningCold
Loving the start so far; my own character will be an expert in the Ayleid so they should have some fun conversations on their journeys together! Just a few things to rework:

You've stated in the backstory and race that he's Breton, but his appearance and name say Altmer? Just need to correct that; if he is Altmer, his age is far too young. Both for the start of the IC and his first spelunking trip at 15; while physically I believe Mer develop the same as men, mentally, they don't. It'd be like taking a 7 year old into a ruin; bit dangerous.

I noticed Ayleid translation was under his skills section, but there's no explanation in his backstory about learning it? It would take quite a bit of time of studying to learn the language, at least to the extent that's available in libraries and whatnot. Spelunking into the ruins can definitely yield money and artifacts, but it doesn't mean by default that he knows the language. If he learnt it from his mentor, then you'll have to explain why his mentor knew the language. In fact, some explanation of his mentor's background in everything would be nice - he teaches Adamiir (Sorry, "Not Sheogorath") a lot which is fine, but where did Morinus learn his stuff? Ex Mages Guild? Hermaeous Mora in disguise? Jauffre's secret twin brother who's an expert in all magic?!? sorry I'll stop now

Lastly, his mother. The whole necromancy and escape thing is cool, but I find it hard to believe a dead woman carrying a baby on a horse would get very far. Despite the fact she'd have probably dropped him after dying, there are other factors to consider; the cold, dangerous animals (or Nords lmao), the horse panicking and throwing the two off - nothing is there to protect Adamiir. This would be easily rectified by Morinus finding Adamiir and Talasa while she's still alive, and she dies while he's there; or if you think of something else that can be used, that's fine too.

Oh, and Oakflesh will have to be removed; I'm avoiding Skyrim spells that don't appear in Oblivion just in case they were invented in those 200 years between the two games. So, fix all of those things and he's good to go! :D

And to the both of you; apologies again for the delay.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by josephb
Raw
Avatar of josephb

josephb

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@MiddleEarthRoze Good to know! I'll only be able to fix it tomorrow though, so when I get the chance I'll do it. :)
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
Raw
GM
Avatar of MiddleEarthRoze

MiddleEarthRoze The Ultimate Pupper

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@josephb

That's alright bud, do it whenever you're free. I can hardly complain with how long it took me to get your reviews back! XD
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by josephb
Raw
Avatar of josephb

josephb

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@MiddleEarthRoze Its okay! I work quite a bit so I can't be that person who posts in the ic daily. Haha
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
Raw
Avatar of BurningCold

BurningCold Magical Bastard

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@MiddleEarthRoze I used Altmer in his appearance to emphasize his height, as he is unnaturally tall for a Breton.

You make good points for everything else though, so I'll be adjusting/revising/editing as needed. I actually like how most of the criticisms are going to allow me to beef up the first part. I already have some ideas.
↑ Top
4 Guests viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet