[OOC] The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion - Crimson Skies

[Leos Klien]

@POOHEAD189Albert approved of this.
All the doges :D

[josephb]

Hey. I'm interested in this if it's still open? :)

[MiddleEarthRoze]

@josephb

Feel free to send in a CS for us to look at. :)

@ethanjory@nariata
Are we still interested?

[josephb]

@MiddleEarthRoze I'll get one up tonight.

[ethanjory]

@MiddleEarthRoze Sorry to say, but I'll have to pass on this one, good luck anyway.

[MiddleEarthRoze]

@ethanjory

Alrighty, thanks for letting us know.

[josephb]

Hider

Character Name: Fendryn Omaren

Age: Sixty-Six

Race: Dunmer

Sex: Male

Birthsign: The Steed

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Specialisation: Combat and Stealth

Class: Mercenary

Skills:

• Expert: One Handed Blade
• Journeyman: Light Armour, Speechcraft
• Apprentice: Merchantile, Hand To Hand and Athletics
• Novice: Sneak and Marksman
• Crafting: Journeyman At Smithing, Apprentice at Leather/Fabric-Work and Novice at Hunting

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Appearance: Fendryn stands just over six foot with a muscular physique, his shoulders are larger than usual for a Dunmer from his work as a smith. He has little scars all over his body, from his encounters with animals in the Forrest, but none are that noticeable. The shade of his skin is dark blue.

Fendryn has thick unkept charcoal black hair that is brushed back and just goes passed his ears, there is a light stubble on his face. His nose is larger than average for a Dunmers, which is bent from the amount of times he’s broken it. He is like every Dunmer and has red eyes. He has ten black gems pierced through his left ear in a row, for no other reason than he likes the look of them, they don't do anything.

Fendryn likes to keep himself in the best looking armour, seeing the armour more of an outfit than actual armour, trying to make himself look good.

Personality: Fendryn is a very outgoing Dunmer and a complete opposite to most of his race from the small amount of time he's spent with them. He usually makes friends quick and loves to drink and sing with the people he is with. He loves to wind up people who he thinks take life too seriously, usually making sarcastic comments towards them. Over the years his sense of humour has gotten darker from spending a lot of time with the wrong people. He has been the left hand man of a mercanary company because of his talent for leading and tactics on the battlefield.

It usually takes a lot for Fendryn to get angry, usually being able to hide and control his emotions, but sometimes he does snap and revert to a typical Dunmer and goes crazy. This has gotten him into a lot of trouble after he has occasionally attacked someone if they managed to verbally make a fool out of him because he can give out insults amazingly but can't quite take them.

Backstory: Fendryn was raised in the city of Cheydinhal, were his father owned a blacksmithing company. Since an early age he had been learning how to use the forge and how to create all types of weapons and armour. When he turned twenty-five his father thought that he was a friendly enough person to become the salesman when his dad was busy and he became good at bartering with the customers. In his spare time he practised with most of the weapons that he was creating, but stood out in dual wielding swords. A few years later his Father lost a bet, were he gambled a lot of his money and his shop to another business owner. They had lost everything and would soon lose the house having no way to pay the ever increasing taxes that Cheydinhal were demanding. Fendryn's father became depressed and started drinking, a few weeks later he was found dead, after he stumbled into one of the ponds and drowned. That's what the City Guards said anyway, the truth wasn't really known. 

Having nothing left, Fendryn sold his house, barely making any money due to the unpaid bills and decided to leave. He gathered a few bits of equipment first, which he bought with the last of his money, and headed off looking for jobs. At this time he was forty. He learned how to hunt animals so he could survive in the wilds, seeing that he already knew how to use a bow, it didn't really take long for him. It didn't take long for Fendryn to sign up for a mercenary company, mainly for the fact he didn't know what else to do. At first they used him to fix their armour and weapons, but slowly he started to fight In battles, showing off his skills with the sword. After years fighting he became one of the top men in the mercenary company, finding it natural how to command people.

One night when everyone in the company were drinking and Fendryn had a few too many drinks, one of the younger members started to joke with Fendryn but he didn't take it as a joke. Fendryn beat the boy bloody and was kicked out of the company because the member was the son of the leader. Having nowhere to go, Fendryn went to the nearest city which was Kvatch to bet on fights and maybe have a fight himself.

Inventory: Leather armour that is exquisitely detailed. A steel long saber and a steel short slender falchion that both have details all over the steel. He usually keeps around 200 septims on him.

When he leaves a city and will be camping, he grabs the rest of the equipment that he usually stashed in a tavern where he stays. The equipment is a detailed hunting bow and around twenty steel arrows. He has a massive olive green cloak with a hood. He always keeps a basic tent and a sleeping roll. A waterskin, a lighting flint and a smiths hammer.

Let me know if you want me to fix anything. :)

[BurningCold]

Here's my app. For reference, I believe all of the spells chosen are from Oblivion with the exception of oakflesh, which is from Skyrim.

Not Sheogorath

Character Name:

Adamiir Thiich

Age:

28

Race:

Breton

Sex:

Male

Birthsign:

The Tower

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Specialisation:

Magic/Stealth

Class:

Treasure Seeker

Skills:

• Expert- Illusion
• Journeyman- Destruction, Acrobatics, Trap-setting (Craft), Translation (Ayleid, Craft)
• Apprentice- Athletics, Restoration, Sneak
• Novice- Mercantile, Security, Alteration, Foraging

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Appearance:

Tall and gangly, nearly the height of the average Altmer when standing straight, with sharp bony features and his shoulders bent forward in a slight stoop, Adamiir’s form carries with it an aura of wrongness, as though he was put together by an amateur craftsman with pieces that never quite matched. His face is pale and clean shaven, his nose long and thin, pointed downwards, vaguely resembling the beak of a hawk. His mouth is a crooked slash of a thing, resting uncomfortably on his face. Set above high cheekbones and hollow cheeks are Adamiir’s eyes, dark and nervous, always jittering around, changing their focus every few seconds. Atop his head lies a thick mop of shoulder length blonde hair, dark gold, like that of a lion’s mane.

Unusually spry, despite his unwieldy appearance, Adamiir has built a small amount of muscle from a lifetime climbing trees in the Great Forest and pushing through its brush. Without concern for armor, he dons nothing more than a pair of leather shoes, sturdy but simple, brown cloth pants, for ease of movement without sacrificing durability, and a navy blue tunic, a belt of dark leather around the waist. The only other item of noticeable interest would be a plan silver amulet, given to Adamiir by his master.

Personality:

To call Adamiir eccentric would be both accurate and simultaneously a vast oversimplification. When it comes to the fine art of conversation, he is woefully awkward and unskilled, usually coming off of as somewhat touched in the head to the more judgemental folk populating Nirn. Despite these limitations, Adamiir prides himself as a teacher, always ready to educate present company with any information he has relevant to the conversation… whether his input was requested or not. As stilted as it may be, Adamiir does try his best to extend goodwill to those deserving of it; he is often caught between the desire to do good unto others and do what is best for himself. It would be correct in stating that Adamiir has a selfish streak running parallel to his generous one.

A particular fascination of his is the Ayleids, and while his enthusiasm for history is great, the passion he feels for the Ayleids’ mysterious nature is unmatched. Sometimes when he thinks no one can see him, he pulls out a welkynd stone, as full of magicka as the day he first claimed it, and stares deep into the crystalline blue surface, mesmerized by its glow.

Not a stranger to peril, Adamiir is confident in his abilities to escape most dangers with ease. More specifically, he puts stock in his prowess with the school of illusion, being able to manipulate the minds of others to cause chaos (or nullify it) while he makes a speedy exit from the scene. In cases where trickery wouldn’t be enough to solve the problem Adamiir faces, he is skilled in the fine art of melting faces.

He has a habit of gripping at his pendant when nervous, and often mumbles the end of a thought out loud when not actively refraining from doing so.

Backstory:

Adamiir’s Biography - Prologue - An Attempted Theft

For Jeriyn and Talasa Broell, the graveyard of Falkreath was like a candy shop. And they, of course, were the kids. As Jeriyn told Talasa often, there were enough dead soldiers buried there to take over the entire hold, and all it would take was two skilled necromancers, such as themselves. And as Talasa told Jeriyn often, the whole mess had better be worth their while, or she’d take Adamiir and turn tail right back to Cyrodiil, where it wasn’t so stupid cold. This exchange was repeated often between the two, all the way from Kvatch to the very graveyard in question. Talasa watched Jeriyn work incredulously, her babe pressed into her bosom to keep him warm during the chill of night.

Shiiick, shuck, ksh

Shiiick, shuck, ksh

Shiiick, shuck, ksh

Again and again Jeriyn labored, digging himself deeper into the earth, closer to the dead.

Shiiick, shuck, ksh

Shhckk

“I’ve got it!” Jeriyn exclaimed, the sound of metal striking wood one that he knew well. He dropped to his knees and began to scoop the dirt out of the way by hand, and sure enough the telltale planks of a coffin were revealed to him. “This is just the beginning,” he whispered to himself. “Soon, we’ll have an army.” Jeriyn hoisted himself out of the grave, and stood on its precipice. “Talasa, fetch the axe, I need it.” Wordlessly, she turned to leave. Talasa hated it when Jeriyn ordered her around in that manner, but refusing would just make him angry.

Nighteye guided her safely to the edge of the graveyard and beyond, into the brush where their horse, Whisper, was hidden, the animal’s reins tied to a sturdy, low hanging branch. Talasa retrieved the demanded axe from the saddlebags, its heavy weight feeling awkward and alien in her grasp. She started back towards Jeriyn, but froze mid step only a few paces later. There were angry shouts originating from where she came, followed by the unmistakable sight of Jeriyn’s spellfire. Talasa sucked in her breath, clutching at Adamiir, hoping against hope that her husband would come out of this unscathed.

It wasn’t to be. There were no more signs of magicka expenditure, yet the angry voices remained, and they were drawing closer. Talasa looked down in horror at the tracks in the snow that would lead her pursuers straight to her location. She took action in an instant, struggling to free Whisper’s reigns from the tree yet still managing. Pulling herself into the saddle, she seized the reins with one hand while her other arm held Adamiir close to her chest. The spurs digging into Whisper’s flanks were enough to get her moving, going at a full gallop out of the wood and onto the main road, Kvatch bound.

A storm of arrows whizzed past Talasa and Whisper, the former releasing the reins and trusting the latter to guide them in order to curl themselves around their child. Fire erupted in Talasa’s thigh, then again under her right shoulder blade. Both times she lurched forward in the saddle, crying with pain. The second time she spat blood flecked spit onto Adamiir’s face.

It did not take long before Whisper began to tire, and the horse slowed itself to a trot. Talasa held her head up slightly, surveying her surroundings as best she could as her vision began to darken. The Nords had not pursued. She lowered her head again, fixing her eyes on Adamiir. Alive. Unharmed. Tucking her chin against her chest and closing her eyes, Talasa allowed herself one small smile.

The infant Adamiir stared up at his mother’s serene face with curiosity, her heart beats echoing in his right ear weakening before slowly stopping completely.

Whisper trotted on.

Adamiir’s Biography - Part One - The Master

A blood stained babe clutched in the grip of what appeared to be said babe’s deceased mother was not what Morinus Thiich expected to discover on his return trek home from the Jerall Mountains. But sure enough, there they both were, one atop the other, motionless on the side of the road, whoever or whatever brought them here already long gone. Morinus sighed at the sight, running a hand through his silvery hair. At least one of them was still breathing. This was not the ideal process that Morinus hoped to use, but he had been looking for someone malleable to pass his knowledge down to. The aging breton sighed again, and seized the infant up into his arms.

Adamiir’s Biography - Part Two - Rocks and Spells, Spells and Rocks

A few years passed since Morinus first found his pupil by the roadside, and the child that was known as Adamiir quickly became Morinus’ most promising student. Any free time seemed to have the child entirely absorbed in his studies. Learning of the lore and history of the world was one of Adamiir’s great passions. What took precedence above all other activities, however, was Morinus’ rigorous training regime, climbing trees and scaling large boulders would teach Adamiir to always remain agile and light on his feet, skills that would be tested when trees and boulders became the dilapidated ruins of ancient ayleid temples. Being able to bend the minds of friend and foe alike would always be an invaluable aid to Adamiir, as would spells of light that would guide Adamiir safely through even the darkest of crypts. Paralysis spells would come in handy whenever a quick escape was needed, while invisibility spells would ensure that he could not be tracked easily. Indeed, the many fine intricacies of the illusion school of magic were a great passion of Morinus’, one that he would ensure was passed down to Adamiir.

However, there are always times in life when smoke and mirrors cannot deflect the truth, or for every tricky ace one has up their sleeve, their adversary has two more. The destruction school of magic was ideal for dealing with these incidents, and this too, Morinus taught to his young breton pupil. Aside from rocks and spells, he also saw it fit to give Adamiir some amount of proficiency in the art of trapping. When on the road away from extended periods of time, one must learn to be self sufficient. Though a few other bits and bobs were thrown in to occasionally mix up the schedule, the curriculum Adamiir would follow for years to come was set in stone.

Adamiir’s Biography - Part Three - First Flight

It was at fifteen years of age when Adamiir first accompanied Morinus on his excursions to the Ayleid ruins. The sheer scope of how vast the empire of the Heartland Elves once was awed him, whilst simultaneously instilling a strange sense of forlorn melancholy in his heart. Crumbling ruins crawling with the dead were all that remained. The underground locale shown to Adamiir was small, and of relatively simple design. Threats were few and far between, only a few shambling skeletons waiting to be sent to the next world. They were no match for Adamiir’s magic - Morinus was simply observing, waiting to see if his protégé was prepared for future excursions - and he suspected that Morinus chose this specific location for those exact reasons.

Adamiir had been correct in assuming that a safer, more straightforward ruin was selected for the purpose of acting as a final test, as revealed by Morinus during their departure. From that point on, Morinus and Adamiir traveled across Cyrodiil as equals, the lessons taught by the former serving the latter well, and only magnifying in their usefulness.

Adamiir’s Biography - Part Four - Homeward Bound

For many more years, Adamiir and Morinus lined their pockets pilfering the riches of a long dead civilization. Mages across the province paid handsomely for the ethereal blue welkynd stones, while a contact in the Imperial City rewarded the pair handsomely for the more uncommon treasures they discovered. Lord Umbacano proved to be a most gracious associate, treating the two to fine meals whenever a particularly intriguing artifact was delivered.

It seemed that whenever Adamiir and Morinus weren’t on the road, they were resting in an inn, the concept of home becoming a foreign term, just another pit stop whenever it was convenient for the route the two had undertaken. There came a time, however, when they were forced to return to their humble cabin in the Great Forest, a few miles down the road from the city of Chorrol. Morinus was growing weaker and more frail in his old age, turning a homecoming into an inevitable necessity. Adamiir’s trapping talents became more invaluable than ever, the furs and excess meats being traded with the local farmers for food, while anything he kept was consumed. During this time Adamiir made many stews, as it was easier for Morinus to consume. He became quite good at making them too.

Morinus had urged Adamiir a few times, before he became sickly, to let him be and go make a fortune, but Adamiir always refused, insisting that his place was at Morinus’ side. He vowed to watch over his master for as long as necessary.

And he did.

Adamiir’s Biography - Part Five - Bad News, Good News, More Bad News

After Morinus’ death, Adamiir was on the road once again. He couldn’t deny it, the call, the call that both he and his old master had felt. The secrets and treasures of the Ayleids called to him, their siren song luring him ever closer to his destiny, and further into the depths of the earth. For three more years Adamiir traveled Cyrodiil and fell deeper under the spell of his beguiling mistress, the lost Ayleid culture. It was on a routine stop to Kvatch to drop off some welkynd stones at the local mages guild that he first heard of the Emperor’s assassination, as well as the festivities to be held in celebration of the Count’s birthday. On a whim, Adamiir decided to stick around and participate in the festivities.

That choice was very likely a grave mistake.

Spells:

• Illusion- Immobilize (Touch), Dominate Creature/Human (Ranged), Eyes of Midnight (Self), Calming Touch (Touch), Rage (Ranged), Voice of Rapture (Ranged), Fearful Gaze (Ranged), Heroic Touch (Touch), Torchlight (Self), Ghostwalk (Self)
• Destruction- Lightning Grasp (Touch), Dire Wound (Ranged), Frost Bolt (Ranged), Searing Grasp (Touch), Lightning Bolt (Ranged), Flare (Ranged)
• Restoration- Convalescence (Ranged), Heal Major Wounds (Self), Heal Minor Wounds (Self)
• Alteration- Oakflesh (Self), Open Very Easy Lock (Touch)

Inventory:

• The clothes on Adamiir’s back
• A travel pack that the following items are either stored in or strapped to
• Sturdy twine for snares
• Two reusable bear traps
• Bedroll
• 243 septims
• 3 weak potions of sorcery
• Steel knife, utilitarian
• Flint & steel
• A welkynd stone

[POOHEAD189]

I'm brainstorming on ze character currently, mah fwands

[BurningCold]

@MiddleEarthRoze Just in case you're not getting any notifications without mentions, here you go.

[Leos Klien]

@BurningColdNo need to worry, we are going over everyones Cs' and seeing if they require any rework, it should be done by tonight.

[MiddleEarthRoze]

@BurningCold

As the man said ^^.

[Frizan]

"On careful reexamination we have determined that everyone's sheets are flaming garbage. Do it over, shitlords!"

[MiddleEarthRoze]

"On careful reexamination we have determined that everyone's sheets are flaming garbage. Do it over, shitlords!"

@Frizan

how the fuck did you get into our PMs
fuck
EVERYONE IGNORE THIS

[POOHEAD189]

"On careful reexamination we have determined that everyone's sheets are flaming garbage. Do it over, shitlords!"

@Frizan

*hasn't made character yet*

Dodged the fuckin' bullet there.

[MiddleEarthRoze]

Many, many apologies for the delay in these reviews! I've been swamped with Uni work, and I know @Leos Klien has been busy too.

@josephb
Thanks for getting your sheet done so quickly - everything seem's okay except his backstory is a bit short.
The first part is great, but for a guy who's 66 years old, I'd like a little more detail in what's occurred in his life - particularly how he heard about the mercenary group and why he joined; not knowing what to do isn't much of an excuse for such a drastic change in occupations, considering how common death is for such groups. His reasons behind leaving are somewhat iffy as well - if the boy he beat so badly was the boss's son, I think he'd receive a far more brutal punishment than just being kicked out of the company.

So, fix and add some of his backstory and the seal of approval is yours! :D

@BurningCold
Loving the start so far; my own character will be an expert in the Ayleid so they should have some fun conversations on their journeys together! Just a few things to rework:

You've stated in the backstory and race that he's Breton, but his appearance and name say Altmer? Just need to correct that; if he is Altmer, his age is far too young. Both for the start of the IC and his first spelunking trip at 15; while physically I believe Mer develop the same as men, mentally, they don't. It'd be like taking a 7 year old into a ruin; bit dangerous.

I noticed Ayleid translation was under his skills section, but there's no explanation in his backstory about learning it? It would take quite a bit of time of studying to learn the language, at least to the extent that's available in libraries and whatnot. Spelunking into the ruins can definitely yield money and artifacts, but it doesn't mean by default that he knows the language. If he learnt it from his mentor, then you'll have to explain why his mentor knew the language. In fact, some explanation of his mentor's background in everything would be nice - he teaches Adamiir (Sorry, "Not Sheogorath") a lot which is fine, but where did Morinus learn his stuff? Ex Mages Guild? Hermaeous Mora in disguise? Jauffre's secret twin brother who's an expert in all magic?!? _{sorry I'll stop now}

Lastly, his mother. The whole necromancy and escape thing is cool, but I find it hard to believe a dead woman carrying a baby on a horse would get very far. Despite the fact she'd have probably dropped him after dying, there are other factors to consider; the cold, dangerous animals (or Nords lmao), the horse panicking and throwing the two off - nothing is there to protect Adamiir. This would be easily rectified by Morinus finding Adamiir and Talasa while she's still alive, and she dies while he's there; or if you think of something else that can be used, that's fine too.

Oh, and Oakflesh will have to be removed; I'm avoiding Skyrim spells that don't appear in Oblivion just in case they were invented in those 200 years between the two games. So, fix all of those things and he's good to go! :D

And to the both of you; apologies again for the delay.

[josephb]

@MiddleEarthRoze Good to know! I'll only be able to fix it tomorrow though, so when I get the chance I'll do it. :)

[MiddleEarthRoze]

@josephb

That's alright bud, do it whenever you're free. I can hardly complain with how long it took me to get your reviews back! XD

[josephb]

@MiddleEarthRoze Its okay! I work quite a bit so I can't be that person who posts in the ic daily. Haha

[BurningCold]

@MiddleEarthRoze I used Altmer in his appearance to emphasize his height, as he is unnaturally tall for a Breton.

You make good points for everything else though, so I'll be adjusting/revising/editing as needed. I actually like how most of the criticisms are going to allow me to beef up the first part. I already have some ideas.