Man this sucks

my momma taught me not to french kiss public water fountains

Stop kissing.

Sex is much safer.

Err...okay.

I once ate dinner with my doctor, Dr. Lecter. Great guy, but his cooking habits? Eh, not so much. I was eating a steak with him and I said, "Gee doc, this steak tastes funny." Doc said, "Well it was a clown."

m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-4-gLlF0uw

I tell you something, my neighbor man. This guy gets me. He's a nice guy, but his motto is "Love thy Neighbor." He lives beside me and a strip club!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-4-gLlF0uw

*taps mic* Hello, is this thing on? No? Ah fuck it! I went moose hunting up in Canada with my buddy one time, and he had this brilliant idea we were gonna get in a two person moose costume and blow a moose mating call. So we're sitting in the costume when this moose comes up to us. My buddy goes, "Oh shit, the zipper's stuck! What do we do?" I look back at him and say, "Well I'm gonna nibble on some grass, but you better prepare your ass!"

m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-4-gLlF0uw

I walked into a bar one time. Guess I wasn't paying attention then. No but seriously, I walked into a bar one time to order a drink and this panda sat beside me. He asked the bartender, "Can I have a sandwich?" Bartender gives him a sandwich. The panda ate the sandwich, pulled out a pistol, shot the bartender in the head and left the bar. I guess a panda does eat shoots and leaves.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-4-gLlF0uw

Well that's all I got! I'll see you in court! Goodnight RPGuild!