@BlackSam3091
Is that any better? I tried to address every concern.
Name:
Ellis Taevon
Race:
Class:
Age:
Sex:
Appearance:
Backstory:
Psyche Profile:
Specialty:
He is most famous for two incidents, one in which he was nearly killed, though no one knows that fact. The first, one Earth, when he alone was able to break the Reaper ground forces’ enemy line in Atlanta, and held them off alone for two hours, until reinforcements arrived. The second, on Omega, wherein a platoon of Blue Suns got in the way of his objective. He killed them all, slowly and simultaneously. His biotic abilities range from elementary, such as pulling or throwing, to the advanced and sadistic, such as his signature Iron Maiden, in which an adversary’s armor becomes their tomb, crushing tighter and tighter at varying intervals. He cares little for technology, his suit providing basic hacking and cybersecurity. As such, he has great disdain for Engineers and tech specialists.[/indent]
Powers/Skills:
Equipment and Resources:
Sample Post:
[indent]“Ellis awoke, his suit’s alarm system releasing an ammonia-based inhalant to shock his wetware awake. His hardware needed no such assistance, and the servos hummed to life like little buzzsaws, their characteristic tone music to Ellis' augmented ears. He stood, six foot six, head and shoulders, a boy who was once the smallest in the galaxy, (in his mind). His stature, his demeanor belied his loneliness and shame, but he was not one to be pitied. No, not Ellis the Undying. But he was not Undying, and berated himself for the fear that iced his blood. There was someone on his ship, and now was no time for fear. Intruders always went one way: through the airlock, in a bloody, wet cube.
A young girl, an Asari, maybe, or a human, stood before him in white armor. A biotic barrier sizzled over her body. The pistol shook in her hands as she raised it slowly, to meet Ellis' eye. He cocked his head, activated and fortified his own barrier, and waited. 'Y-you killed my dad.' Ellis withheld his surprise. It was a young boy! 'A-nd n-now you're gonna pay.' The boy was getting less confident by the minute. Ellis overclocked the servos on his right arm, like a batter winding up for a swing, and his hand shot out and snatched the pistol from the child's fingers before even fingers touched trigger.
'Boy', Ellis said, his own hands crunching the weapon to a mangled mess, 'How did you get on my schooner?' The child was terrified, literally shaking in his boots. 'I need to know', as the heat sink clattered to the floor, 'how you got on my ship.' The boy stayed silent, save for a panicked muttering. Ellis raised the gun-turned-steel wool so that that the kid could see it. 'When you come to a good party, you bring a good gift.' Ellis drew his own pistol, and called to his ship's VI. 'NERO! INTRUDER!' The ship's yoke flipped away, revealing an ultraviolet laser, humming to life, generally reserved for ship to ship to ship combat. NERO, spoke, a cool female voice like that of an emergency services operator,
'One intruder detected, sir. Initiate Purge?'
'Well, boy? How did you get on my ship?' The kid's legs gave out as he practically sobbed,
'I stowed away! Omega!' Ellis chuckled.
'Omega? Any family there?' The kid relaxed a bit, in surrender.
'My mom! Two sisters!' Ellis set his pistol back on his hip.
'You have a name, I presume?'
'Rakhtesh. My mom named me after a krogan.' Ellis tilted his head, puzzled. 'She fell in love with him before my dad.'
'So, he isn't "a krogan", he was your mother's love.'
'I guess. Are you gonna kill me?' Ellis laughed out loud, he couldn't help it, the voice synthesizer giving slight feedback to the sound. The boy was not amused.
'Of course not. NERO, shut that crap off. Rakhtesh, if your mother named you after her love, she must love you. Very much, I might add.' The kid was more uneasy than ever.
'W-what are you doing?'
'I'm trying.'
'If you're trying to scare me, it's working. If you aren't gonna kill me, can you just take me back?'
'NERO, set course for Omega. Rakhtesh, who was your dad?'
'John Taylor. You didn't kill him.'
'But you said-'
'That man was not my father.'
'Then who did I kill?'
'Rakhtesh.'"
Notes
Is that any better? I tried to address every concern.
Name:
Ellis Taevon
Race:
Human
Class:
Vanguard
Age:
34
Sex:
Male
Appearance:
Scarred, quadriplegic, cannot exist outside of a regulated, self contained, gel filled suit. The suit is matte black, designed for blitz attacks, and built with oversized plating for intimidation. The advanced servos allow him greater than average strength, and reflexes, comparable to an typical Krogan Grunt. The armor is built from a carbon fiber over titanium exoskeleton, allowing it impressive durability.
Backstory:
Ellis grew up in a small family, cosisting of a brother, a father, and a cat. He never knew his mother. As a child, he was more interested in stories, games, and things of creative or imaginitive value. He had no interest in the guns or weapons of the life of an Arms merchant. His brother, on the other hand, took to it all too well, becoming their father's favored son.
In a deal gone bad with a Turian militia faction, The Rising Eye, his father's cargo was detonated when they opened fire. Ellis' favorite place to read had been in the air ducts between the inner and outer hull. The fire rushed into the updraft. He only barely survived, his body suffering fifth and sixth degree burns so severe, they torched off his lower arms and legs instantly, leaving him with charred and tender stumps for the rest of his life. Element Zero whirled in with the smoke, like a radioactive sandstorm, and coated Ellis' charred and crispy flesh. His older brother survived, having been in the ship's cockpit, far away from the blast. The cat perished in decompression. Ellis' father was vaporized instantly when the charges imploded. Ellis' brother activated the distress signal that brought a nearby human dreadnought to the rescue, just in time. The Dreadnought docked at the Citadel, and a boy more corpse than child was rushed into Emergency Care. Along the way, his heart stopped. Medical technicians ran an electrical current through his body. As his body resuscitated, so also did something else awaken.
Ellis required serious care, ranging from a variety of antibiotics and vitamin supplements, to a hyperbaric chamber and the need to be suspended constantly in a special gel. It was time for Jeb Taevon to step up. The years were rough, Jeb using the family's well guarded savings to pay for Ellis' medical care, special and variable as it was. He took care of Ellis the best he could, finding work in odd jobs, eventually finding he had both a talent for problem solving,and natural leadership skills. He took up bodyguarding for a time, making enough to afford his own apartment, a place for Ellis to call home. He enlisted in C-Sec as soon as he was able to, becoming quite a prodigy in his own right, joining the ranks of C-Sec. Ellis was not so lucky. Ellis suffered debilitating loneliness as the world passed him by.
He was not exactly helpless, however, as he worked as an information broker, from his bed as best he could, selling secrets from his father's files. He made many enemies this way, but was a very hard person to assassinate, as his condition required round-the-clock care. Fearing for his life, he opted for biotic implants. The L2s took to his brain as though he'd never been without them, and he proved to be a more than successful human biotic, his new power being his sole means of contact with the world around him. His mind unbound, he was able to develop biotic abilities at an impressive, inhuman rate. Even from within his sealed chamber, he found he was able to manipulate objects far outside the reach of his bed. He developed his abilities further, attempting to manifest solid biotic forms. Most biotics learn to move dark matter asthough it is a martial art. Lacking this capability, he trained with dark matter with the only muscle that was still worth its weight. His brain moved matter like wind moves water, and he found that this was one thing he need no hands, no feet, no walking or running or jumping, even. This was something he could do. He began experimenting with his power in attempt to give himself new limbs, or at least some semblance of his former mobility. He succeeded only in developing some of the most horrifying biotic techniques in Adept history. He enrolled in classes for a degree in Psychology at Oxford, but never completed his degree, bothering only to complete the coursework for subjects that served him, through remote study. He was approached on the idea of selling his techniques and his mind to a number of military corporations, each one greedier than the one before, and less trustworthy. He refused them, afraid to leave his tight cocoon of safety his brother had set up for him. He intended instead to use his new education to develop biotic psychological warfare for personal use. R&D is still in progress. At age 30, he received a message on his omnitool, encrypted with a biometric lock, opening only for him. . The letter was addressed Cerberus, and read "We have heard of your gifts and would like to utilize them. You will be given suitable compensation." When he responded, asking,
"Compensation in what form?", they presented an offer he could not, could never refuse.
"A new body."
He became a hired terrorist, skilled in the art of fear. Morale was his enemy, and violence his weapon.
They gave him a body, human in nature, Geth in theory. He was famous, infamous, for his ability to soak up bullet after bullet after bullet, and still come back for more. Gradually, many came to fear him, earning him the nickname, “Ellis the Undying”. He yet harbored a great hatred of Turians.
Ellis never quite learned how to repair or maintain his suit. Any damage to vital areas required attention by a trained, skilled, and classified technician.
After leaving Cerberus for idealogical reasons, he worked as a gun for hire, always careful to monitor damage to his suit, as he would die without it. Word spread that Ellis the Undying was a free agent, and old enemies hunt him once more. There are too many, even for Ellis, and he alone knows that he is no longer Undying. Faced with mortality once more, he feels the fear he once forced on others. He now seeks companions, not only to protect him, but so that he can do something good, something decent before he dies. A change is at hand for Ellis.
Upon returning to Omega, one of his contacts sent him a classified message addressed to a prominent Krogan warrior, a "call up" from the Citadel. They needed an elite squad to ease tensions between races. Now was his chance to make right what was wrong. He answered the Call Up, ready to give his last breath for the greater good.
In a deal gone bad with a Turian militia faction, The Rising Eye, his father's cargo was detonated when they opened fire. Ellis' favorite place to read had been in the air ducts between the inner and outer hull. The fire rushed into the updraft. He only barely survived, his body suffering fifth and sixth degree burns so severe, they torched off his lower arms and legs instantly, leaving him with charred and tender stumps for the rest of his life. Element Zero whirled in with the smoke, like a radioactive sandstorm, and coated Ellis' charred and crispy flesh. His older brother survived, having been in the ship's cockpit, far away from the blast. The cat perished in decompression. Ellis' father was vaporized instantly when the charges imploded. Ellis' brother activated the distress signal that brought a nearby human dreadnought to the rescue, just in time. The Dreadnought docked at the Citadel, and a boy more corpse than child was rushed into Emergency Care. Along the way, his heart stopped. Medical technicians ran an electrical current through his body. As his body resuscitated, so also did something else awaken.
Ellis required serious care, ranging from a variety of antibiotics and vitamin supplements, to a hyperbaric chamber and the need to be suspended constantly in a special gel. It was time for Jeb Taevon to step up. The years were rough, Jeb using the family's well guarded savings to pay for Ellis' medical care, special and variable as it was. He took care of Ellis the best he could, finding work in odd jobs, eventually finding he had both a talent for problem solving,and natural leadership skills. He took up bodyguarding for a time, making enough to afford his own apartment, a place for Ellis to call home. He enlisted in C-Sec as soon as he was able to, becoming quite a prodigy in his own right, joining the ranks of C-Sec. Ellis was not so lucky. Ellis suffered debilitating loneliness as the world passed him by.
He was not exactly helpless, however, as he worked as an information broker, from his bed as best he could, selling secrets from his father's files. He made many enemies this way, but was a very hard person to assassinate, as his condition required round-the-clock care. Fearing for his life, he opted for biotic implants. The L2s took to his brain as though he'd never been without them, and he proved to be a more than successful human biotic, his new power being his sole means of contact with the world around him. His mind unbound, he was able to develop biotic abilities at an impressive, inhuman rate. Even from within his sealed chamber, he found he was able to manipulate objects far outside the reach of his bed. He developed his abilities further, attempting to manifest solid biotic forms. Most biotics learn to move dark matter asthough it is a martial art. Lacking this capability, he trained with dark matter with the only muscle that was still worth its weight. His brain moved matter like wind moves water, and he found that this was one thing he need no hands, no feet, no walking or running or jumping, even. This was something he could do. He began experimenting with his power in attempt to give himself new limbs, or at least some semblance of his former mobility. He succeeded only in developing some of the most horrifying biotic techniques in Adept history. He enrolled in classes for a degree in Psychology at Oxford, but never completed his degree, bothering only to complete the coursework for subjects that served him, through remote study. He was approached on the idea of selling his techniques and his mind to a number of military corporations, each one greedier than the one before, and less trustworthy. He refused them, afraid to leave his tight cocoon of safety his brother had set up for him. He intended instead to use his new education to develop biotic psychological warfare for personal use. R&D is still in progress. At age 30, he received a message on his omnitool, encrypted with a biometric lock, opening only for him. . The letter was addressed Cerberus, and read "We have heard of your gifts and would like to utilize them. You will be given suitable compensation." When he responded, asking,
"Compensation in what form?", they presented an offer he could not, could never refuse.
"A new body."
He became a hired terrorist, skilled in the art of fear. Morale was his enemy, and violence his weapon.
They gave him a body, human in nature, Geth in theory. He was famous, infamous, for his ability to soak up bullet after bullet after bullet, and still come back for more. Gradually, many came to fear him, earning him the nickname, “Ellis the Undying”. He yet harbored a great hatred of Turians.
Ellis never quite learned how to repair or maintain his suit. Any damage to vital areas required attention by a trained, skilled, and classified technician.
After leaving Cerberus for idealogical reasons, he worked as a gun for hire, always careful to monitor damage to his suit, as he would die without it. Word spread that Ellis the Undying was a free agent, and old enemies hunt him once more. There are too many, even for Ellis, and he alone knows that he is no longer Undying. Faced with mortality once more, he feels the fear he once forced on others. He now seeks companions, not only to protect him, but so that he can do something good, something decent before he dies. A change is at hand for Ellis.
Upon returning to Omega, one of his contacts sent him a classified message addressed to a prominent Krogan warrior, a "call up" from the Citadel. They needed an elite squad to ease tensions between races. Now was his chance to make right what was wrong. He answered the Call Up, ready to give his last breath for the greater good.
Psyche Profile:
Ellis was a human supremacist, though he hid it well enough. After leaving Cerberus, when it was discovered that they had a hand in both the Reaper attacks and the Collectors, he finds himself in an idealogical chaos. His paranoia is matched only by his newfound, terrifying need to redeem himself. Despite denouncing Cerberus, he still finds it difficult to ignore his past xenophobia. He is trying, though, and is even attempting to analyze and construct a new body, a hero's body, but alas, is still trapped in the guise of a monster. Ellis is lonely, and only now is he letting himself feel it.
Specialty:
He is most famous for two incidents, one in which he was nearly killed, though no one knows that fact. The first, one Earth, when he alone was able to break the Reaper ground forces’ enemy line in Atlanta, and held them off alone for two hours, until reinforcements arrived. The second, on Omega, wherein a platoon of Blue Suns got in the way of his objective. He killed them all, slowly and simultaneously. His biotic abilities range from elementary, such as pulling or throwing, to the advanced and sadistic, such as his signature Iron Maiden, in which an adversary’s armor becomes their tomb, crushing tighter and tighter at varying intervals. He cares little for technology, his suit providing basic hacking and cybersecurity. As such, he has great disdain for Engineers and tech specialists.[/indent]
Powers/Skills:
His Signature biotic manipulations include: “Iron Maiden”, aforementioned; “Dyson Sphere”, in which a victim’s shield or biotic barrier is turned into a kind of garbage disposal tornado; “Catch”, an ability that allows Ellis to transfer kinetic energy on impact to another object in physical contact with Ellis suit, i.e. a wall, another human being. He was regarded as an expert in the field of Omni-tool Close Quarters Combat
Skills
-Biotic Charge
-Catch
-Dyson Sphere
-Cryo Ammo
-Throw
-Fortification
Skills
-Biotic Charge
-Catch
-Dyson Sphere
-Cryo Ammo
-Throw
-Fortification
Equipment and Resources:
Ellis wears an experimental survival suit that allows him extreme shock-absorbing capabilities, and bears an impressive combat history and variety of skills that make him more of a weapon than a soldier, comparable to a fire-and-forget missile.
He also carries a M358 Talon heavy pistol and M96 Mattock marksman rifle, modified for antimaterial ammunition.
He also carries a M358 Talon heavy pistol and M96 Mattock marksman rifle, modified for antimaterial ammunition.
Sample Post:
[indent]“Ellis awoke, his suit’s alarm system releasing an ammonia-based inhalant to shock his wetware awake. His hardware needed no such assistance, and the servos hummed to life like little buzzsaws, their characteristic tone music to Ellis' augmented ears. He stood, six foot six, head and shoulders, a boy who was once the smallest in the galaxy, (in his mind). His stature, his demeanor belied his loneliness and shame, but he was not one to be pitied. No, not Ellis the Undying. But he was not Undying, and berated himself for the fear that iced his blood. There was someone on his ship, and now was no time for fear. Intruders always went one way: through the airlock, in a bloody, wet cube.
A young girl, an Asari, maybe, or a human, stood before him in white armor. A biotic barrier sizzled over her body. The pistol shook in her hands as she raised it slowly, to meet Ellis' eye. He cocked his head, activated and fortified his own barrier, and waited. 'Y-you killed my dad.' Ellis withheld his surprise. It was a young boy! 'A-nd n-now you're gonna pay.' The boy was getting less confident by the minute. Ellis overclocked the servos on his right arm, like a batter winding up for a swing, and his hand shot out and snatched the pistol from the child's fingers before even fingers touched trigger.
'Boy', Ellis said, his own hands crunching the weapon to a mangled mess, 'How did you get on my schooner?' The child was terrified, literally shaking in his boots. 'I need to know', as the heat sink clattered to the floor, 'how you got on my ship.' The boy stayed silent, save for a panicked muttering. Ellis raised the gun-turned-steel wool so that that the kid could see it. 'When you come to a good party, you bring a good gift.' Ellis drew his own pistol, and called to his ship's VI. 'NERO! INTRUDER!' The ship's yoke flipped away, revealing an ultraviolet laser, humming to life, generally reserved for ship to ship to ship combat. NERO, spoke, a cool female voice like that of an emergency services operator,
'One intruder detected, sir. Initiate Purge?'
'Well, boy? How did you get on my ship?' The kid's legs gave out as he practically sobbed,
'I stowed away! Omega!' Ellis chuckled.
'Omega? Any family there?' The kid relaxed a bit, in surrender.
'My mom! Two sisters!' Ellis set his pistol back on his hip.
'You have a name, I presume?'
'Rakhtesh. My mom named me after a krogan.' Ellis tilted his head, puzzled. 'She fell in love with him before my dad.'
'So, he isn't "a krogan", he was your mother's love.'
'I guess. Are you gonna kill me?' Ellis laughed out loud, he couldn't help it, the voice synthesizer giving slight feedback to the sound. The boy was not amused.
'Of course not. NERO, shut that crap off. Rakhtesh, if your mother named you after her love, she must love you. Very much, I might add.' The kid was more uneasy than ever.
'W-what are you doing?'
'I'm trying.'
'If you're trying to scare me, it's working. If you aren't gonna kill me, can you just take me back?'
'NERO, set course for Omega. Rakhtesh, who was your dad?'
'John Taylor. You didn't kill him.'
'But you said-'
'That man was not my father.'
'Then who did I kill?'
'Rakhtesh.'"
Notes
Ellis hated society for their rejection of him, hated his brother for leaving him all alone, and hated Turians for killing his father. He has a lot of problems to work through, but is desperate to fix himself before he dies.
His primary source of income is selling information, both about his father's dealings, of which there were many, as well as classified Cerberus information.
In combat, his fury tends to overcome his common sense, and he overclocks his suit and augments in a blind rage. Afterward, his body requires a four new heat sinks, also forcing him to use his ammunition carefully.
He admires Jaqueline Nought, but believes his abilities are superior to hers. Whether or not this is true is a question he desires to answer in the future. He hopes to meet her someday.
His primary source of income is selling information, both about his father's dealings, of which there were many, as well as classified Cerberus information.
In combat, his fury tends to overcome his common sense, and he overclocks his suit and augments in a blind rage. Afterward, his body requires a four new heat sinks, also forcing him to use his ammunition carefully.
He admires Jaqueline Nought, but believes his abilities are superior to hers. Whether or not this is true is a question he desires to answer in the future. He hopes to meet her someday.
