N/A

I finally have a simulation of the Gabriel system:



From Left to Right: Luke, Gabriel, Solomon, Ezekiel and (if you see it) Ezra.

It only took a morning of tediously balancing things and screaming every time the moon system fell apart or one of the worlds got set on fire from tidal heating.

One major difference from the diagram is that Ezra now orbits Ezekiel as a tiny moon for it turns out that a subgiant water world like Gabriel can only hold so many moons so I put the burden on Ezekiel to hold Ezra (which is that speck on the right).

Amazingly enough that actually worked.

I also switched Exodus out for a ice world named Luke. By accident I found out my innermost world actually could realistically be a ice world despite the tidal heating.

Finally I will put genuine consideration in adding a exotic hot biosphere in the inner star system based on a actual exoplanet orbiting Eridani and likely building out the whole solar system, though don't expect much in regards to habitable worlds. Just lifeless worlds or worlds with some strange esoteric things hostile to human existence.

Interplanetary exploration takes a long time though, it will take weeks to reach these other rocks. On the other hand better to strip mine the asteroids and strip down metal rich ruins in other regions of the star system than strip mine the planet you set up with society on, right?

@Nytefall
There's already another player with a hivemind, consider sharing concepts with him and not just arbitrarily introducing redundant entities. There is a lot I don't like about the app, but the main thing that bothers me is that the Ouroboros Empire is something that was cut and paste without considering the context of the setting given the mention of a empire that spans, if not dominates multiple planets.

In most space NRPs it would be fine, but here it makes you a superpower.

@Arawak It's just a rough draft from a previous Nation roleplay that I will adapt. They are technically a Hive but not a hive mind as they are insect like it just made sense for it to be a hive. All of the soliders have mind of their own and I will adjust it all when it moves to OOC. As I said its a draft cs and I can edit it around right now if you want to. I will adjust it to fit the scaling and the power level you want. This application is just a general idea that I will expand upon just wanted to give you an idea of what I was going for.

Also the image isn't showing up.

In that case I recommend having them be related more to Liotrent's stuff.

My personal suggestions is that they could be a more developed off shoot of an imperial caste Liotrent mentions that developed to have more specialized military castes and is more independent thinking compared to the general hives due to how they make clones instead of rely on a queen while enslaving the other mantids for the shit work like spartans in Greece did. They sound like they use similarish tech anyways, so they may share similar tech even if your military tech is more advanced.

They don't need to be space faring to be powerful and you can always have a "empire armed the barbarians" fuck up from another player in the back story to justify having space faring capability.

Though in terms of physical design they sound like cave dwellers so they fit into Ezekiel. Only difference is that they may due to the lower gravity have soldier castes that take advantage of the low gravity, cavern and mountain filled environment of Ezekiel.

I swear I fixed the image. I see it on my end.

@Arawak Yep the image is working now.

The idea mainly stems from halo and the flood as well as several games I have played. I will take your ideas in mind and change it around when I have to complete the whole applications

@Arawak Hmm I think I might actually change around to a more arctic based nation similar to vikings

@Nytefall With the same species?

Ezekiel's cold enough to have icy regions so you wouldn't need to change much.

They are more humanoid but I can make them less human if need be

Name: Vikuns
Type:
Humanoid:
They follow several types of gods that worship fanatically.
Oraeo: God of war and honor
Feldriel: God of nature and animals
Nelo: God of comradely and protection

Description: The people of Baridi are a proud and hardy race of people. Living in the harsh lands of Voara where snow and ice are a daily thing, they have adapted to these harsh lands and have flourished trade wise, being one of the main markets for ivory, iron and furs (They get ivory from the woolly mammoths that live in Voara). However they are not to be messed with as they are followers of the deity Feldrial who granted their Shaman the power of the Wendigo's allowing him to control these beasts to fight for Baridi.

@Nytefall

While I was off put by the last app, this concept is everything that I didn't want people doing in regards to the alien species by using a human culture as basis for your civ (your civ comes off as something from a fantasy NRP) to such blatant extent that I believe a communication problem has happened with the OP.

It's not the best written OP so i'll close this thread and remake the interest check from scratch with more pictures, better presentation and more clarity in regards to what the worldbuilding guidelines are along with adding in travel rules and whatnot.

@Arawak

I assume you want me to make them more alien. As it's hard to not get inspiration from human culture. I'm happy to make changes to fit your setting.

@Nytefall
It's not my setting. It's our setting.

I just am the GM and set the foundation for who knows what the players do. I seek to basically serve as a directing force to allow for a emergent story to come from the contribution of multiple people. The guidelines I set are to encourage creativity instead of stifle it since I believe when you have limitations set creative thinking becomes more likely.

For instance inspiration from a human culture I understand, but you make it very obvious with the mention of Wendingos and use of Mammoths on a alien planet.

Either way expect a better organized OP before tomorrow as I have tons of free time right now.

I won't by Tuesday though.

@Arawak I'll get to work on it.

One thing about the 2nd edition OP you may notice when it is made is how I can be vague beyond mentioning natives, custodians and some vague overview of human history that really just gives people a loose timeline to answer questions like "when did humans get spaceships again after having to build up from just a few thousand people?". Humans are prone to division so multiple human factions I view as a given and thus I don't even dare speak of the details in regards to what human societies exist in this universe.

Similar with the custodians and the intelligent (or at least well organized) aliens. That is all player domain and so I don't go into it much. I just hope that players can work together to string together things to keep things coherent. That's why I suggested a way to link Lio's insectoids with Nytefall's and went as far as to have a "no redundant sapients" guideline to enourage such lore linking.

I like my aliens multicultural.

I see a lot of developments, and a new player. What's been happening? I got a new draft but I've been having trouble naming it, I can adjust for player connections if the other player wants.

Anyways, here's my improved draft, with uh no name yet, I'm trying to think of a name that sounds Alien but not inherently Human, (Though I mention them but as for now they will be placeholders, if say Nyte finds a way to connect to mine, we could work on it if need be)

Name: Unnamed for now
Class: Alien Bug Species
Description:

[Discovery]

During the first expedition to the moon of Ezekiel, a desert planet with low gravity conditions, and light fauna covering its sandy surface, they encountered alien life in the form of rather large insectoids near mounds of sand and rock in the shrubbery’s and coasts of Ezekiel’s surface.

From first impressions, the weary explorers thought of them as primitive, and animalistic, it is only later they find that they are quite docile when approached, they express signs of curiosity, however none of it aggressive, as they entered the mound, they were surprised to the large cavernous underground that they possessed, it was an underground city almost, highly organized and partitioned for different levels.

[Behavior & Culture]

The insects don’t seem to mind until they get interrupted on the way to a task, assigned by the Colony’s caste superiors, they don’t seem to communicate through telepathic means, on closer observation, they seem to communicate via radio transmission using implants at the base of their skull. Even if this was the case, insectoids worked in unison, efficiently, and without stoppage, and when scientists jammed the area from a distance, the silence was replaced with loud clicks and chirps, and the smell of the air changed from dry, dusty and salty to humid musk, perhaps vocal and Chemical communication, their unison and efficiency dropped by a slight margin as they were slower to react to these other methods of communication. It is thought that different tasks use different chemical and vocal commands, thus garnering a different response.

Their intelligence is quite surprising considering the insects have knowledge of their own biology to be able to plant implants, but as well as the intelligence to plant it into the center of their brain responsible for smell and sound, without impairing their regular senses. However, unlike humans, they dispose their dead underground, the explorers, as of this moment are still barred from entering deeper into the lower levels of their colonies.
Note however that the city itself is made up of many spires, only some of which reaching the surface, perhaps for ventilation or gathering moisture from the air as some show some sort of pipeline running down below. Despite not burying their dead, their culture is quite interesting, they show levels of intelligence that are comparable to humans, such as large sculptures, and some sort of worship to a god like being, perhaps the queen/s of the colony, it is unknown whether they are polygamous, or if they perhaps combine colonies into their own making a sort of super colony, or some other sort of arrangement that binds colonies into some sort of alliance, like treaties.

Their food sources are limited to the shrubbery above however, large columns of warrior caste and worker caste members leave the colony in different directions presumably to hunt or gather, the shrubbery in the surrounding area shows signs of herbivory, however from studies of their remains this is not shown to be their main diet, it seems they feed on some type of fungus, and other protein rich organisms. Which implies they have figured out agriculture of some kind, similar to leaf cutter ants.


[Caste & Biology]

Physically they look like the mantises of earth, however, their biology is perfectly made for their harsh environment, a respiratory system that relies on creating a vacuum to gather as much air as possible, a mouth filter for clean water, different sets of limbs for each caste to work specific tasks, antennae and various spines and hairs built for sensing changes in their environment, large eyes that can see into the infrared spectrum, large muscular bodies for digging and fighting, and other such things, their exoskeleton also has an inner part that is used for structural support and weight distribution so that the weight of the exoskeleton doesn’t affect impair the functions of their organs.

Their front facing limbs can vary, they can have four front facing limbs and most of the time they have a pair of front facing limbs that have hands and not digging claws, or large sword like appendages, though this can sometimes happen.

Their dead gave an idea to how their caste is structured, with scientists classifying it into three main categories.

-The Leadership Caste
This caste classification belongs to queens, brood lords, and Super Majors. These are the only ones in the colony to have been classified under this caste.

The queens:
They are quite large, bulbous in physique, however, they are the driving force and the beating heart of the colony, they give commands to all other castes, and those castes then pass down command to lower castes, thus maintaining the order of the colony. She is responsible for laying eggs, and leading the colony.

The Brood Lords:
they can easily be classified as kings, but unlike ants they serve another purpose, and that is to protect the queen or lead in place of the Super Majors if they are absent in the colony, thus making brood lords, larger than some of the largest warrior caste, being 8ft at most, and 3ft wide, their equipment is also heavier and less expendable. Though this comes at a price, due to their large size, their exoskeleton being heavy only covers a fraction of their overall size, though through analysis of the bodies, it is theorized, they can take a lot of punishment due to the injuries of some of these brood lords, this could be easily disputed that they died of these injuries though that is not what the evidence suggests. Their major blood vessels remain intact, they show no signs of pain receptors so there is no shock due to injury, and their major organs still seem rather functional, it is presumed that their thick muscle layer acts as some sort of cushion or extra layer of defense, thus leading to the atrophy of the exoskeleton as it was no longer needed through the process of their evolution.

The brood lords are responsible for mating with the queen, protecting the queen, and leading in place of the Super Majors thus their placement in this caste.

Super Majors:
they are the leaders of the expedition, the military mind, the brains of the army. These Super Majors coordinate the Army they serve as the tacticians and often a pivotal member of the colony if the colony is to survive competition with rival colonies. They are larger than your regular warrior, 6’5 standing tall as to official records of observation, they have hard exoskeletons, and longer antennae.

-Warrior Caste
This caste belongs to, regular warriors, Majors, Dragoons, Combat Technicians

Regular Warriors:
They average about 5’0ft, to 5’5ft as their name implies they are the backbone of the colonies offensive capabilities, they are often equipped lightly or not at all, due to their biological weapon, their scythes/sickle like limbs being usually enough for the job.

Dragoons:
These are regular warriors that are heavily equipped with a combat frame, as they are used for a chassis of a combat suit/walker that makes them 6’0ft tall, is usually equipped with regular canons, or repeating auto canons, they’re moderately armored, except for the back where the power unit is housed. Some Super Majors and Majors can be equipped with these as well, they can be 7’0-8’0ft at most

Majors:
These are what would classify as squad officers, in the warrior caste, in charge of small groups of units that can make decisions independently after receiving orders from super Majors, it is presumed that most if not all of the Mantis like insectoids are individual decision makers. They are at least 6’0 and have a more complex exoskeletal pattern than the Regular warriors, though even then it is hard to distinguish the two apart from size.

Combat Technicians:
They are in charge of the tech that comes into the battlefield, they repair any and all equipment that can possibly be repaired, if it cannot be repaired they assist in removing it in order for the other warrior castes to be able to fight effectively again, it is hypothesized that they also work with vehicles as evidences of large mechanical objects moving through a certain colony have been discovered, and unknown flying objects near colonies have been sighted but have not been officially documented as of this record. (OOC, Larger combat walkers, Artillery, Armored support vehicles, tanks, transports, various aircraft of different roles, etc.)

-Worker Caste
This belongs to Builders, Farmers, Nursers, and Engineers.
(OOC this caste is mostly based around what they do rather than their physiology, as having one strain do all the work, is easier on the queen than having 4 different strains do specialized work, this way the colony can just shift their roles to their needs)

Builders:
The name itself is enough to explain the worker caste role of builder, they build, dig, and assemble things for the colonies infrastructure to their industry.

Farmers:
Again self-explanatory, these are the ones that tend to the fungus in the colony’s depths, and keep the colony fed.

Nursers:
These workers take care of the eggs and the young, they look after them, tend to them, groom them, and nourish them by having a sort of second stomach for regurgitation of vital nutrients into the young.

Engineers:
These workers, are responsible for making technologies like walkers, and projectile weapons, they assemble the technical parts, and pass it down to the builders to assemble into the finish products

[Technology & Weaponry]

The technology they possess from what has been observed is quite sophisticated, far more advanced than what has been anticipated from such a primitive looking alien species. Armored combatants in powered infantry support walkers, and cybernetic augmentations.

Their weaponry however is quite similar to that of humans, using some sort of propellant for a projectile, however this is not the only weapon system they have, they also make use of a railgun that uses electro magnets to accelerate projectiles, it has been hypothesized that with the size and amount of power the fastest it can fire a projectile is from 1.5km/s to 2km/s though this is only used on their infantry combat walker, perhaps even on their vehicles.

Aside from their guns, they also have steel sleeves for their scythe like appendages, and even without these their physical bio-weaponry is quite devastating in melee having a thicker exoskeleton for support.

Their medical science is also quite advanced as with cybernetic augmentation came as well, functional prosthetics and nerve replacement, their underground homes are coated with some sort of liquid cleaning agent that is replaced every few weeks that help keep the colony as clean as possible, and all their sick go deep to the highest level to receive treatment, it is unclear what ailments these insects may have, perhaps parasites or some other common pathogens that they have grown to live with, at the very least from the bodies they’ve examined, most have died from old age, indicating that medical practices and cleanliness of their underground homes are excellent.

Their industry however seems primitive but has a basis for their society, some parts of their industry relies on automation, which has been observed in open areas of their mechanized factories, however it is believed that in the low gravity environment they should not have this much muscle which leads to the hypothesis that manual labor is used most often in the creation of their tools, prosthetics, and other such things, other members keep fit through sparring as war between colonies, or fighting hostiles is the norm on the sandy surface of Ezekiel, it’s harsh environment can lead to resilient organisms that are ruthless in their competition for food and water.

[Relationships with other colonies]

Interestingly, there are only two major colonies, with minor colonies aiding them.

It seems there may have been a civil war between these two Major colonies, but it is unconfirmed as they have never engaged each other directly. Their minor colonies, act as states for the Major colonies.

The two Major colonies have been given names;

Conquista and Imperia.

the Conquista are the main aggressors, in most conflicts, they treat their states as part of their colony, imperia on the other hand are the defenders in most conflicts, and treat their states as individual city states allowing them to do as they wish. In both cases the state colonies are quite well off. From the most conflicted areas of fighting the explorers gather that their rivalry has been a long one, many abandoned technology yet to be uncovered, the exoskeletal remains of many dead individuals, and the damage that they have inflicted on each other are apparent.

I see that they got their "telepathy" by developing radio mind control. Is this a trait exclusive to the more advanced colonies only?

And I like that you gave them a divisive nature instead of mindless hive unity.

Here is the guidelines for aliens for the second edition IC:

For the most part yes it is, for the smaller, less developed colony states, their industry and infrastructure cannot support it, as such they focus on building their home and establishing a population rather than their tech, as such this is when they are most vulnerable, when they are small in number, and have little in terms of fighting capability.

Also is there anything you have a problem with, or parts you want me to specifically work on?

@Liotrent
Not really, they're pretty solid.

Also I wrote out the perspective system that this NRP goes by. I mentioned it earlier but never codified it.

The Baridi Arctic warriors

Humanoid in shape and size? I'd like more elaboration on their design.

If you need help upping their alienness, one way is to give them a distinct psychological trait from humans along with some distinct means of reproduction (mother nature on earth has quite the play book for this). Think of them as animals in a habitat and how their social behavior is at their most primitive. Than you arm them with larger populations, civilization and carbyne infused bones.

Due to sharing a world, expect some carbyne to end up in use by Liotrent's bugs at times.

Chances are they'll have more than one culture, so defining their behavioral differences on culture alone isn't enough.

Though I will say I like the idea of some species that organizes in insular city-states with geothermal tech. Do they also have tribal groups outside the city-states?

Either way I like the direction you are going with this so far.

@Arawak They are more tribal in nature and are a race that constantly likes to push themselves. They are a race of people that like their mountain homes.

They do have horns.

Incidentally Carbyne is an actual thing.