Deep beneath the earth, among caverns and tunnels crudely carved by stone and claw and tooth lay creatures most foul. Wretched, filthy and with a knack for finding themselves in the most precarious of situations, it is a wonder goblinkind has even managed to carve out a niche as the populace vermin humans of the surface consider them to be. Yet, for all their greed and vice, the goblins are a race of ambitious beings if nothing else. As they say, where there is a will, there is a way.

This axiom will need to prove true for the sniveling green gobs of the recently crowned Muktuk clan. Separated from their main horde by a cave in totally unrelated to their own deviancy, this group of twenty or so individuals, under the leadership of Chief Muk Tukkish I, set off into the dark, damp underworld to establish a civilization even the prissy pink skins above would be jealous of!

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The tattered remains of clan Muktuk gather around their leader in the filthy wallow they have claimed as home. It is a fairly spacious cavern, devoid of much else than a few scraps of semi-luminescent fungi growing from the walls and a variety of rocks, large and small but none too good for eating, as many gobs quickly found. To the south of the cavern lay the crumbled remains of the tunnel which led these foul souls to their current living space, thick with rubble too heavy to move. To the north, three different tunnels branching deeper into the networks of caves the gobs call home, but none too explored.

Hungry, impatient and utterly lost, the scraggly goblinoids look to their fearsome leader for guidance. What does he say?

Current Population; Twenty one goblins
Current Inventory; Nothin'.
Current Buildings; Nothin'.

We have 21 mouths and no food to fill them. Clearly, the short-term solution is to kill and eat two of our own kind. Two less mouths to feed and two goblins worth of meat for the rest of us. Win-win.

IF we eat two of our own we need to replenish our numbers and prepare to invade the service, so all remaining goblins must fuck vigorously to produce more. The odd-one out gets to watch and fap.

Collect fungi and pray there is no adverse effects from eating them. Goblins have strong innards.

Collect fungi and pray there is no adverse effects from eating them. Goblins have strong innards.

That seems like the smartest thing to do

They are supposed to be nasty deviants, yes? The intro implies this. Also they are ambitious and used to tunnel living.

Chief Muk Tukkish whips it out to take a piss in front of his people, and casually uses his schlong mid-stream to direct his three most nimble and healthy followers to explore the three tunnels ahead and report back. The remainder should stay put, conserve their energy, chew on the nasty fungi, and make cackling sounds like goblins tend to do.

Dig a piss-trough.

Die, for there is no hope.

It was obvious to Muk Tukkish, as with all goblins, that the shinier something was, the more power it held. By that logic, the mushrooms which sprouted from the walls of this damp abode were rife with the stuff! Knowing that the consumption of an object gives you its power, the mighty chieftain waddled towards a particularly large bit of fungi and tore it free from the wall with his grubby fingers. Into his maw it went, disappearing among smacking lips and gnashing teeth... The gobs around him waited, watching carefully as their mighty leader spun to face them.

With a triumphant cackle, Muk Tukkish declared the power shrooms to be just that; full of power. Mimicking the strongest of their bunch, the gobs descended upon the fungi in great number, consuming the glowing blue shrooms with gusto. So great was the power of these shrooms, that even the waste produced by eating them glowed blue with the power! Well fed and quickly gaining a surplus of fancy filth, Muk Tukkish inadvertently avoided starvation and cannibalism for his small cadre of gobs!

But now... What would he do?

Current Population; Twenty one goblins
Current Inventory; Piles of glowing blue dung.
Current Buildings; Nothin'.

Use glowing blue dung to construct a shack

Use glowing blue dung as bait farms to attract insects. Meanwhile, send a squad of four off to explore and collect sticks and stones for weapons and tools.

Send off as many goblins it takes to carry the waste into a single tunnel and instruct them to smear it on the right side of the wall to prevent getting lost.

Root out any Communist goblins and force them to the surface to find some wood. If there aren't any Commie goblins, force the weakest three to get wood instead.

Use glowing dung as manure to grow more glowing dung.

Investigate your new powers