Hey kids!

Yeah!?

Are you ready!?

Yeah!

To move to the sound of the beat!?

Heck yeah!

Just wiggle your feet to the sound of the rhythm.
And let the rhythm wiggle your butt in your seat!

Oh yeah!

Hendersons safety seats! Are the coolest seats around;
Whatever the weather, we'll get through it together;
Cause Hendersons safety seats are round;

And they are made of leatheeeeerr yeah!
They are made of leatheeeerrr ow!
Sweet soft leatheeeerrr baaaaby, alright!
Hendersons brand leatheeeeeer!

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!

Hendersons safety seats. Buy yours today.

TWOSDAY NIGHT REVIEW: HAMON AND TWIST
The hostages usually make up the audience for a first timer, but we happened to be sliding out of the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty at just the right time to catch the first and last performance of Hamon and Twist. Down here, where nobody thinks to talk about anything unless it's got seven zeroes after it, young artists are struggling to make themselves known. Those that don't burn out burn up, horrifying and entertaining audiences in equal measure. "There but for the mutually assured destruction clause in my insurance go I," as the saying goes.

Hamon and Twist, aged too old and too young respectively, were already negotiating with the security of Rantan Tower for a chance to reload and find their missing limbs by the time we arrived at the crime scene. There'd already been two casualties, courtesy of the sort of ridiculous firepower you'd only see at the birthday party of an adrenaline addicted five year old. The back wall of the Rantan Tower lobby was transformed into the worst sort of abstract expressionism. It was hard to tell exactly where the bodies began or when my recurring nightmares about it will end.

Seeing no real artistic merit in it, neither I or any of my drinking companions wanted to stay, but we were encouraged to remain as witnesses by the Ranton Tower security team. I told them we'd seen it all before, desperate newcomers to the scene hoping to make it big by fighting their way up to the top. Inspector Medeski sweetened the deal, letting us decide exactly what brand of justice they'd visit upon them. He'd got a team of snipers on the building opposite on standby, a case full of grenades that explosively deployed ball-bearings and ants tweaked on a genetic level to be even angrier than you'd expect, and some vigilante off the street who offered to pay the security team money if he could go in there with his custom built flamethrower.

The drinks were kicking in at this point, and in our heightened state of meta-awareness, somebody from our group suggested using all three. If a job is worth tackling, it's worth tackling with a reckless disregard for the safety of everyone else. That's the Ofromia way, and I'll sacrifice any number of other people to see this natural order maintained in our streets. Such an obviously elegant solution to a tricky, ugly problem took everyone by surprise, none more so than Hamon and Twist, who thought that they'd just negotiated a two book publishing contract, full medical coverage and a lifetime on the chat show circuit.

They say that to reach the top in this town, you have to be lucky, exceptional and have a sound media strategy. How many other crimes went unreported last night? If Lady Fortune, made manifest by the stingy bastards that are running the Treaty into the ground so fast you'd think they were drilling for oil, hadn't dragged us past Rantan Tower at just the wrong time, would you even know the names of Hamon and Twist?

Aggro Deluxe is a freelance journalist, crime critic and campaign manager. If you're interested in a life of high-budget crime with excellent production values for a reasonable price, contact him at 88-1250-6318.

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From ISF Planetary & Culinary Guide, the ad-supported guide to the Galaxy.
This article is about the city. For other uses, see Ofromia (disambiguation).

Ofromia is a city of two halves, except those halves are stacked on top of one another like a Double-Whammy Rib Sandwich. and protected by a giant solar-dome. Henderson's Ribs operates three restaurants within the city (^{1 2 3}), providing a range of galactic favourites alongside reinterpretations of traditional Ofromian cuisine. Once a visitor is used to the social stratification in the city, Ofromia represents an exciting opportunity for tourists wishing to sample the parties of the upper level, or the performance crime of the street level. It is recommended that visitors should limit their time on the street level, even if they are insured.

Contents
1. Etymology
2. Administration
3. Culture
3.1 Restaurants
3.2 Parties
3.3 Performance Crime
4. Transport
5. See Also

Etymology

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Main article: Etymology of Ofromia
Ofromia is named after the planet, Ofromia, sharing a name with the nearby star (Ofromia) and Ofromia's only natural satellite, Ofromia. It was originally accepted (^{O RLY?}) that this was due to the general silliness of the native Ofromians when faced with a First Contact Situation, but more recently, scholars at Henderson's Ribs Linguistic Clarity Department suggest it stems from a religious belief held amongst the diplomatic caste of the original Ofromians that all things are connected and stem from the nearby star of Ofromia.

Administration

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Ofromia is a decentralised "tower state", with each tower providing services to their residents. Projects that require the co-operation of multiple tower-owning families are usually handled by temporary councils consisting of representatives from affected towers. Ownership of towers is based on both the social and financial standings of a family and, as families rise and fall, ownership of large areas of the city can change quite suddenly.

Culture

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This is intended to provide a broad overview of Ofromia culture. For a more in-depth analysis of Ofromian culture and how it pertains to Henderson's Ribs franchising opportunities, click here
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The city of Ofromia plays host to a number of sports teams, including the Baleen All Stars, who recently won the 78th Intra-Galactic Series with a staggering victory over Pentix Heavy Industries. Highlights of the match include a half-time battle between the two team mascots and a last-minute reek to secure the historic win over Pentix. A fully featured experience-dump of the match can be purchased here and, for a limited time only, you will also receive TWO vials of tears shed by Pentix fans, harvested mechanically after the match. Makes for a perfect Gorbin present!

Restaurants
Eating in Ofromia, with the exception of Henderson's Ribs, is risky. Native cultural foods mingle alongside imported foodstuffs, creating a diverse array of flavours and ingredients. Given the lack of legislation regarding food safety in Ofromia, allergens, toxins and reconstituted sentients are rarely labelled as such in lists of ingredients, when lists of ingredients are provided. A dedicated Gastronaut, with adequate health insurance and a willingness to take their life into their own hands, could spend a whole trip on the busy street-level of the city, enjoying a galaxy of flavours.

Parties
Party culture in Ofromia is serious business. As the social standing of families within Ofromia is considered of paramount importance, parties have evolved from relatively simple affairs to elaborate, week-spanning acts of debauchery which are designed to leave guests with little doubt as to the standing of the host. The "party season" spans for two months of every year. More conservative hosts follow trends and themes for parties that were popular at the beginning of the season, while more radical party-goers will attempt to blaze their own trail, hoping to be at the forefront of new trends, or even inventing their own trends that others might follow.

Performance Crime
Lawlessness and crime are such a common occurrence on the street-level of Ofromia that, in order for a criminal to get noticed, crime has to be a performance. Performance Crime is characterised by the excessive; ludicrous targets, larger-than-life actors, elaborate costumes and, for the particularly entreprenurial, massive ticket sales. Some self-styled "super villains" began their journey on Ofromia, taking Performance Crime from the streets to the galaxy at large.

The exact reasons for artists taking up a life of Performance Crime vary. Many see it as a way "up the tower", to higher social status, as Performance Criminals have been hired to provide entertainment at parties. Money can buy some prestige in Ofromia, and a single well-received piece of Performance Crime can bring in revenue exceeding that of the average Ofromian's yearly salary, once experience-dump sales are taken into account.

Transport

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Due to the demands placed on the city by the party season, Ofromia has worked diligently to expand their infrastucture over the last decade. Landing pads can support up to a Class C Ship, and cross-tower support for a centralised Space Traffic Control system has reduced accidents by 89% since it's inception. Landing fees were abolished as a meands to increase tourism, though visitors using the gravity of the planet to perform slingshot maneuvers will be heavily charged.

Within the city itself, public transport is rarely available. Locals prefer to walk from place to place, and there is rarely space on the streets for large vehicles to pass through. The frail, injured and the elderly that can afford to have their legs replaced with mechanical replacements often choose to do so, as "walking and talking" is an important part of everyday Ofromian life.

See Also

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• Families of Ofromia
• Baleen All Stars vs Pentix Ltd (Legal Dispute)
• Henderson's Ribs
• List of criminals from Ofromia
• List of Highest Rated Crimes in Ofromia
• Click here for GREAT SAVINGS on ISF Merchandise!!
• Mascot Boxing

If it makes it easier to visualise, I can draw out the information that the Cleaner Bot has gathered. Hopefully this all makes sense, is easy enough to follow and at least vaguely interesting to read.
Turn 2 will begin with your next set of orders.
I am being incredibly mean by saying that your first set of orders was Turn 1, but the GM Hat compels me to do so.

Summary:
Team A reports a dead-end.
Team B faced with a choice between left and right.
Team C faced with a choice between left, right, and up.