Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Rune_Alchemist
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@Heckno12@LunarisDaFox@Kitty

Hmm, might as well bring back Mien. A few minor adjustments were made in regards to her history and personality a bit, but for the most part she's the same crime lord she was before.

Still gonna have her gear be confiscated to start with. Just something I'd like her to get later in the RP after a bit of time, perhaps with the help of someone else. Unless of course, you'd prefer her to start with them. I can do either.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Heckno12
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@Rune_Alchemist Well, I still like it. I'll have to wait and see if @Kitty and @LunarisDafox have anything to say though.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LunarisDaFox
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@Rune_Alchemist Hey Rune, overall really solid Character Sheet, me and Kitty both agree'd, we think you should clean up your bio some, Heck informed us you're char previously was meant for magic, so the bio has some remnants of magic around it, we want you to make sure you delete those, as you cannot have magic if you have enhancements, etc. We also want you to specify where the char got it's enhancements from, seems a little tedious, but it matters to us! After that, just tell us when you made the edits and me and Kitty will reread, before stamping our approval! Thanks for joining the RP again~
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Spike
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How's this?

Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by LunarisDaFox
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Heckno12
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@HeroicSociopath

Alright, so I'm just going to be upfront about this, but your character won't really work as he is now. You took a few liberties where the attunement were concerned (Life attuned magic requires physical contact, it's also not going to do much as far as some of the larger creatures go). and your character isn't very fleshed out as things are. I don't mind your character being a pacifist, that's okay, but I'd much rather they had a reason to be thrown on the ship other than mistaken identity. You're going to need an actual bio that's more than two sentences.

Then there's your "equipment." I'm going to have to say no to the bong, guitar, the drugs, and the gameboy clone. On a positive note, the alchemist ability would be plausible and is easily the best part of the sheet as things are. Other than that though, I have to mention that this is a med-casual RP and as such needs a fair bit more detail.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Spike
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@HeroicSociopath

Alright, so I'm just going to be upfront about this, but your character won't really work as he is now. You took a few liberties where the attunement were concerned (Life attuned magic requires physical contact, it's also not going to do much as far as some of the larger creatures go). and your character isn't very fleshed out as things are. I don't mind your character being a pacifist, that's okay, but I'd much rather they had a reason to be thrown on the ship other than mistaken identity. You're going to need an actual bio that's more than two sentences.

Then there's your "equipment." I'm going to have to say no to the bong, guitar, the drugs, and the gameboy clone. On a positive note, the alchemist ability would be plausible and is easily the best part of the sheet as things are. Other than that though, I have to mention that this is a med-casual RP and as such needs a fair bit more detail.


Okay I got you. To be clear though the glow sticks are okay right? Would a harmonica be okay? That's a thing people in prison have I think.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Heckno12
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@HeroicSociopath I can 100% deal with the glowsticks, they have some utility. The harmonica? I guess, yeah. It wouldn't be a burden to carry and probably wouldn't be too obnoxious. If you can work on all of the other stuff, we'll gladly take another look at it.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Rune_Alchemist
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@Heckno12@LunarisDaFox@Kitty

Well, I took out those two references to magic that I found (That's what you get when you forget to proofread the sheet like a doof! Twice!~)

I...admittedly am a little unsure how exactly you want me to expand on how she got the enhancements. Basically, they were illegal implants given to her to help with clandestine activities. I added a few lines to that in the CS to indicate that, but do tell if that isn't enough.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Kitty
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@Rune_Alchemist
For the most part, everything is looking a lot better. The only thing left is that we would like to see a better explanation within the bio of how and why she got her cybernetics because the cybernetics are a main part of her (literally a part of her) and who she is. It shouldn't really be something just glossed over because cybernetics would be quite life-changing. That is the only thing we are asking to be added now. After that, you should be good. Thank you for being patient with us.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Rune_Alchemist
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@Kitty

I mean

She literally didn't have a choice in getting the cybernetics.

It was get the cybernetics and become a trained assassin, die, or spend the rest of her life as a cheap prostitute. It's glossed over purposefully in her history because she herself doesn't consider it a huge deal at her current age.

That's just the way it is to her. They're just another thing that was forced on her. I thought I made that clear enough, and I am unsure why/how I need to expand on it more.

I'll try to expand on it, but I'm just having difficulties because the character herself doesn't consider the cybernetics a huge deal or very life-changing. Effectively, It's not a huge part of Mien's character, and in no way does she herself think twice about them or consider them a huge deal.

EDIT: To put simply because it's late and I might be rambling a bit -

Mien views the Implants as nothing more than convenient tools. Without them, she wouldn't be any different. Without them she'd still be the same. Without them, she'd still be the goo-girl with slightly sociopathic tendencies and a lust for power/survival. They are nothing more than a disposable, convenient tool that she doesn't need to live or survive.

I apologize if this comes off as slightly antagonistic or otherwise like I'm arguing, but no, getting implants was not a huge or important thing for Mien nor were they life-changing as you suggest.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by The Angry Goat
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this is interesting. I will be posting soon if you are still accepting.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Raylah
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I seem to be always coming back to this RP and checking what is new, so I finally decided to give it a chance. Character-making is a great thing for those night when you just cant fall asleep, no matter what :)



@Kitty perhaps some slight inspiration with Masika ;)
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Keksalot
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@Heckno12
I'm sort of tenatively interested and would try to whip something up if there are still slots for characters left.
Is that still the case?
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Rune_Alchemist
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@Kitty@LunarisDaFox

Alright, well, added some new stuff and for the sake of ease I'm going to paste the new paragraph and the one before it in her Bio here.

I write Bio/History for characters from their perspective and from things they would find important. Maybe I shouldn't, I dunno, but the point is here that Mien could care less about her cybernetics. They're just...there. She was never really given a choice in the matter, like she didn't have a choice for most of her early life.

If you want more than this, I'm not sure I can really do that without compromising some of Mien's own character. If this isn't good, then I'll probably just either scrap Mien as I don't want to do that.

If anything, it'd be more life changing for her to suddenly lose them. It'd mean that she was free from all of the bad shit that happened in her past, in a sense.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Heckno12
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@The Angry Goat@Keksalot6 We are indeed still accepting.

@Rune_Alchemist Well, you just got the official thumbs up. Go on and move her to the character tab.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by The Angry Goat
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@Raylah took the liberty of interconnecting our stories. If you dislike, I can remove it!


Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Raylah
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@The Angry Goat To be honest I think you should leave it out, I was planning on Lyra growing stronger slowly and I cant really imagine that would be possible if the one responsible for her suffering would be around her. Not without killing your character off in some ugly way :)

Plus the whole point of her being imprisoned for her master's crimes wouldn't really make sense if he was imprisoned as well.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by The Angry Goat
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@The Angry Goat To be honest I think you should leave it out, I was planning on Lyra growing stronger slowly and I cant really imagine that would be possible if the one responsible for her suffering would be around her. Not without killing your character off in some ugly way :)

Plus the whole point of her being imprisoned for her master's crimes wouldn't really make sense if he was imprisoned as well.


changed, then
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Keksalot
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@Heckno12
r8

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