“To whom it may concern, an old man once stole my campfire.
“I am that old man. They call me Mendax and this is my story. By which I mean, it’s the story that I’m telling to you. It’s not really about me….”
It never is….
“Anyways…. Before we really get into things, I’d like to tell you about a city in the old world that a friend of mine named Gaugurus liked to call... Scrunch Town. It wasn’t called that, but who cares, it’s a better name than the founder gave it!”
The old man, Mendax, clears his throat and scratches his left eyebrow. The warm ambiance of the fireplace crackling in the background. The bricks that surrounded the fire, enclosed it, staring intently at the old Mendax as he stood there in silence, his faintly glowing eyes gazing at you from within his strange helm.
“Oh sorry, I dozed off for a second. Legiterallly. Anyways, what was I sayi--OH right Sccmunch Town. There are a few things you need to know about Sccmunch Town. The first one is that it has this great tavern that serves just the most delectable grilled, butttered eel. Trust me, you won’t regret visiting it. Number Two on the list of things that you ought to know about Sccmunnch Town is that, well, it’s a pretty quiet place. Except on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. All those days are usually pretty active and occasionally pretty noisy depending on your definition. The third thing you really ought to keep in mind about Sckuckmurgle Town is that it’s juuust a little bit wonky in a number of ways. Mostly because it was built, quite smartly, on the resting place of a giant gazorp. What’s a gazorp? Doesn’t matter. Moving on. Anyways, I’m gonna stop talking now and just let you EXPERIENCE it yourself. No, stop struggling and eat the pill. I said eat it! No this is not optional! I swear it’s not a roofie, I only did that to the last guy as a joke!”
A pill is summarily jammed down your equivalent of a mouth port and--after about several seconds of choking, panicking, and Mendax rreassuring you, everything fades to black as the world falls away from you. The last thing you hear is a zipper and Mendax’s soft chortling laaugh reverberating in his helm.
Line break.
When you awaken you find yourself sitting in a booth seat in a tavern. Mendax is sitting next to you--all of you, doesn’t matter how many of you there are--wiping where his mouth would be--thoughh he still wears his helm--before noticing that you are awake. “Sorry for the fright buddy. I just wanted to instill a certain amount of anticipation and fear in you before you conked out. You’ve gotta make your life interesting at my age.” He gestures to an empty, cold, plate of grilled butttered eel which sits in front of you.
“Help yourself, my treat. Anyways. Go ahead and explore the town. Just make sure you don’t drop trough in the middle of the village. They might not appreciate your candor.”
Mendax gets up, puts a number of sorta brown fuzzy coins on the table before leaving you to your own devices. “By the way, there’s noo way back to your world from here. Good luck though!” He calls back as he exits the tavern. No one else seems to hear or pay him any mind.
“I am that old man. They call me Mendax and this is my story. By which I mean, it’s the story that I’m telling to you. It’s not really about me….”
It never is….
“Anyways…. Before we really get into things, I’d like to tell you about a city in the old world that a friend of mine named Gaugurus liked to call... Scrunch Town. It wasn’t called that, but who cares, it’s a better name than the founder gave it!”
The old man, Mendax, clears his throat and scratches his left eyebrow. The warm ambiance of the fireplace crackling in the background. The bricks that surrounded the fire, enclosed it, staring intently at the old Mendax as he stood there in silence, his faintly glowing eyes gazing at you from within his strange helm.
“Oh sorry, I dozed off for a second. Legiterallly. Anyways, what was I sayi--OH right Sccmunch Town. There are a few things you need to know about Sccmunch Town. The first one is that it has this great tavern that serves just the most delectable grilled, butttered eel. Trust me, you won’t regret visiting it. Number Two on the list of things that you ought to know about Sccmunnch Town is that, well, it’s a pretty quiet place. Except on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. All those days are usually pretty active and occasionally pretty noisy depending on your definition. The third thing you really ought to keep in mind about Sckuckmurgle Town is that it’s juuust a little bit wonky in a number of ways. Mostly because it was built, quite smartly, on the resting place of a giant gazorp. What’s a gazorp? Doesn’t matter. Moving on. Anyways, I’m gonna stop talking now and just let you EXPERIENCE it yourself. No, stop struggling and eat the pill. I said eat it! No this is not optional! I swear it’s not a roofie, I only did that to the last guy as a joke!”
A pill is summarily jammed down your equivalent of a mouth port and--after about several seconds of choking, panicking, and Mendax rreassuring you, everything fades to black as the world falls away from you. The last thing you hear is a zipper and Mendax’s soft chortling laaugh reverberating in his helm.
Line break.
When you awaken you find yourself sitting in a booth seat in a tavern. Mendax is sitting next to you--all of you, doesn’t matter how many of you there are--wiping where his mouth would be--thoughh he still wears his helm--before noticing that you are awake. “Sorry for the fright buddy. I just wanted to instill a certain amount of anticipation and fear in you before you conked out. You’ve gotta make your life interesting at my age.” He gestures to an empty, cold, plate of grilled butttered eel which sits in front of you.
“Help yourself, my treat. Anyways. Go ahead and explore the town. Just make sure you don’t drop trough in the middle of the village. They might not appreciate your candor.”
Mendax gets up, puts a number of sorta brown fuzzy coins on the table before leaving you to your own devices. “By the way, there’s noo way back to your world from here. Good luck though!” He calls back as he exits the tavern. No one else seems to hear or pay him any mind.
