@Thinslayer

Ahhh, caught onto that. I'll give Sofie a reply, should be done in about 10 mins! :)

EDIT: Done! A bit weird but done all the same

I have a question about Ed. My mental image of him isn't lining up with how he's portrayed; he's supposed to be an intelligent, refined gentleman, the sort of person who knows how to make an eloquent speech, but I've been writing him more as an easygoing dude with cocky smiles and snide one-liners. I'm not entirely sure which end to go for.

@Thinslayer

I think he’s still a pretty intelligent gentleman and I’m certainly getting that from him. I’d say that he has some sort of right to be cocky though, considering his privilege so his lines if it does anything, just makes him seem young.

If anything this mix of personalities might draw Sofie in closer to him. Opposites attract, no?

There certainly is something to be said for his youthfulness. Cockiness doesn't seem too far out of line, I agree. Thanks. :)

Posted! You might dig this plot twist. I used my double-post instead of making a new one.

@Thinslayer

WHAT???????

WOAH MAN

Is it unacceptable? I can change it if need be. It's just that...I don't want them to beat around the bush. He's not asking her to be his girlfriend or anything; it's just that he's interested in her and wants to get to know her better. Instead of trying to do that covertly through complicated romantic shenanigans (i.e. the typical "will-they-or-won't-they?" dance), he's going the straightforward route and just straight-up asking her out.

@Thinslayer

Ah no, don't change anything! I was just surprised he did that. I'm thinking it through and while I want to do something as a writer I feel like I should do something as Sofie

It is pretty surprising, isn't it? :P

I find pre-confession romantic dancing to be a little tiring. I would much rather explore characters working through an existing relationship, as it's highly unexplored territory in the field of fiction with a vast wealth of untapped story material. More importantly, it feels more in line with Crescent culture as I've imagined it. Asking people out for dating/courting isn't as big a deal for them as it would be in, say, American culture, since they don't associate any commitment with it like we Westerners do. Responsible or interested family members would interview each other to ascertain the prospective spouse's strengths and weaknesses, and provided everyone agrees, the couple would date/court in order to learn more about each other. They would do so for a short period of time, usually a few months, after which they will either part ways (perhaps temporarily) or make a decision. It's common for them to part ways so they can court other people, but sometimes, a pair clicks so well that they choose to get engaged instead.

Things really only get serious when the pair get engaged. Backing out at this point isn't so easy, and may require some legal proceedings in order to make the split (depending on the prospective couple's emotional and financial investment in the union). Once they're married, they're married forever, backed up by Imperial law, so they need to be completely sure of their choice. Thus, dating should be done frequently and in-depth in order to make sure that the person they marry is the person they want to stay with for life, because once they commit, there's no getting out. So that's the impetus for Ed asking her out early - getting too attached to her before he really gets to know her could be dangerous for them both in the long-term.

The Crescents have many ancestral roots in Asian culture, which is partly where that comes from.

@Thinslayer

Thank you for explaining to me the dating "etiquette" in the Crescent to me. It kind of changes my choice as to what Sofie will say a bit. Hopefully, I'll have a response to you by tomorrow but it's sadly not guaranteed. Been working quite hard to get a few free moments but they don't come easily :)

P.S: Thanks to you Not Another Song About Love is now stuck in my head and as good as it is (the original version) it's gonna start to kill me someday ;)

Right? Not Another Love Song was stuck in my head for weeks. It's a catchy little devil. xD

You can post whenever you're ready. I've been a little swamped these days too, and not just with work, so I know exactly how you feel. Take your time. ;)

Incidentally, if Sofie is indeed Terran as I suspected, she may have more modern/European/American ideas of dating, which may constitute a cultural difference from Ed's background. Her reaction may be more like yours. :P

@Thinslayer

Sorry, this whole thing is definitely taking me longer than it should. I just got assigned a major work project and am a bit stressed about it. Just a warning but I'm so so sorry once again.

It's fine! It's worth the wait to write with you. :)

@Thinslayer

I tried to keep as much as Sofie as possible in the reply I just posted but I defied a few of Sofie's rules to make sure she accepted his hand. I was trying to justify some part of it but in the end I think her choice was a good one. Plus, the change in her character, in what she'd usually do is something new I'd like to explore :)

I dig it! I like it a lot. In fact, it makes great material for Ed to create a romantic retort. ;)

@Thinslayer

Waiting for that highly romantic side of Ed to come out!

Just finished a DnD thing so feeling pretty pumped up actually.

@Thinslayer

WOOOHOOOO!

That ending just...100%

Anyways, I'll try to respond soon because now I'm genuinely excited. They seem like very cool characters and I think that by starting and developing a relationship between the two earlier we may get some pretty good character development.

On another note: Ed seems to have a holier than thou attitude, I don't know but it feels like he's just...off. He's analyzing every single thing that everyone does and has a weird, kind of unexplainable attitude towards Sofie. I can't quite put my finger on it, maybe he's just acting like a gentleman type of character but I'm just confused. It's of no offense to you, Thins, I hope you know that because I think you're an amazing writer but I'd like to get to know Ed a bit better in the OOC?

When I first read Sofie's words, the first thoughts in my head were dirty ones. I started imagining Ed being something like a cad, flirting with her in a sexually suggestive way. It occurred to me, then, that neither you nor Sofie would appreciate that. So I put the situation in a different perspective - strong man versus vulnerable woman, warranting pity. But if you marry for pity, the pity eventually wears off, leaving behind only contempt and disdain. So I tried yet another perspective, which initially eluded me, and which you'd actually made explicit: By accepting his offer, Sofie was putting her trust in Edward. That I would think dirty thoughts about such a thing disgusted me.

Given Ed's moral compass and background, it's highly likely that the same chain of thought went through his head as well. This is what his religion looks like, deep down. It's not the "easy crutch" that some people think it is. It's a death-battle, a vicious struggle between our carnal desires and our better judgment. I figured it would make for some effective character development. If you want to get to know someone, what better way to do that than to see the very thoughts in their head?

Besides, he won this time, but given his proximity to Sofie, it's possible he'll lose that battle next time and give in to temptation. He seems holier-than-thou this time, but give him time. His internal struggles only get worse from here.

Self insertion?

And I think it was interesting how you did all that, the explanation of his religion helped as well but what I believe Ed is is some sort of knight to the rescue eque guy. You know the ones, it just seems like he thinks of himself in a superior way at points, forever trying to protect and encourage the delicate damsel in distress.

Granted, Ed is a very in depth character but I just haven’t gotten a grasp on who he really is yet. He’s a gentleman like guy right so why did he think those thoughts first? I honestly don’t know if I’m taking everything out of proportion right now but I’d love to get to know the character better is all I’m saying.

Again just like to be sure that it’s definitely not me criticizing you or your writing ;)

EDIT: Actually just reread your thing again and it makes more sense than it did the first time, sorry for the fuss...I think watching too many episode of The Office fried my brain for a moment there