Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by BogeyDope
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Hey @Lord Wraith I got a present for you



UPDATE: Reduced weapons, and changed out sniper rifle for something more familiar, and with less power.
UPDATE 2: Corrected birthdate and changed HUD's name to Patches. And added soft body armor.
UPDATE 3: Added some new equipment (drones, knife, guitar, etc.), lumped in armor with basic tactical gear, gave her vehicles to drive, improved her backstory quite a bit, updated and improved the Advanced Combat Intelligence (tying it in with HAT and giving it some more realistic abilities), added some new skills (languages, music, improved existing ones), and improved existing equipment. Also added a theme tune.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by GingerBoi123
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Hour Error
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Thanks to @chukklehed for the idea of HAT RACK.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Mao Mao
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Have something while I wait for a respond.

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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I'll add/update both as soon as I can.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by JunkMail
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reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

EDIT:

tf skai why’d you like this it was the most low effort shitpost ive done in months
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by JunkMail
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@AbandonedIntel,@GingerBoi123

What exactly are your plans for your characters? I want to make sure we’re all on the same page here since you’re both submitting normal characters in a superpower/magic RP.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by BogeyDope
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@JunkMail I was originally going to make Andrea a cyborg (a cybercommando in the vain of Rex Power Colt), but during character creation I realized that it didn't feel right for her. I decided to go with the idea of making her normal, and play off the theme of normies having to constantly catch up to metahumans and always falling behind. That's the idea, anyway, though things can play out much differently through natural play.

If necessary I can make her a cybersoldier, but I'll need time to make the necessary changes.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by GingerBoi123
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@JunkMailMy plan was that Jason was going to be the first antagonistic/villainous character of the roster and it would be a plot twist later on that he would develop some sort of power, creating an identity crisis.

Edit: Of course, if you think it would be a pain to have a normal or a villain in the mix, I have another idea for a hero super if that would be preferred :)
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@Lord Wraith@Hillan@JunkMail

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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So the primary concern with Zealot is that the character is very built around the idea of being a villain to the point that the character sheet reads in such a way that your only IC interactions will likely combative/antagonizing to other players. Jason's not written to be a social person by any means and while that's fine, Junk, Hillan and myself think this might be a little too 'Chaotic Evil' in its current state.

@JunkMailMy plan was that Jason was going to be the first antagonistic/villainous character of the roster and it would be a plot twist later on that he would develop some sort of power, creating an identity crisis.


The above idea that you pitched to Junk has a lot of potential but we'd actually suggest making a couple of changes to Jason's backstory in order to make this his driving arc instead of saving it. The reason we suggest this is because the identity crisis would open you and your character up for more interaction and plot opportunities that you currently wouldn't with the submitted sheet.

Re-reading your backstory, in order to drive this idea home, I would suggest altering it so that Jason is recruited by the Guard while still deployed, going through their training and hopes while running covert operations for the Guard Overseas in order to gain experience with hunting both supers and the supernatural. Going this route, near the end of his backstory you could have Jason begin to discover his own superhuman nature setting him up for his identity crisis as he is deployed to Santa Celia following the spike in super and supernatural activity that is this RP.

Additionally, we'd ask that you include Jason's ability on his sheet, especially if you do choose to do this path where has begun to manifest before the start of the IC. If you choose to not have it manifesting before the start of the IC and for whatever reason you would prefer it not to be public, to begin with, we'd still ask that you PM us a copy of the sheet including the abilities but we would allow you to post it under the impression that Jason is 'normal'. However, I'm assuming that as you had no issue publically posting your plot arc, that you probably don't have an issue including the power on the sheet.

Feel free to respond if these suggested changes are too drastic from your original vision or even if you would prefer to pursue your other idea instead of making these changes or any other agreed upon changes pending further discussion.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by JunkMail
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My personal issue is that Jason doesnt have a lot of reason to hate superpowers, from a character standpoint. People suddenly having power? I mean, a dude picks up a gun and has the ability to kill any person in room if he places his shots right. In that sense a metahuman is no more ‘powerful’ than a man with a gun. I suggest expanding upon why he hates metas more. I think it will add to his character and make his character arc more impactful.

EDIT: a few words
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by JunkMail
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@JunkMail I was originally going to make Andrea a cyborg (a cybercommando in the vain of Rex Power Colt), but during character creation I realized that it didn't feel right for her. I decided to go with the idea of making her normal, and play off the theme of normies having to constantly catch up to metahumans and always falling behind. That's the idea, anyway, though things can play out much differently through natural play.

If necessary I can make her a cybersoldier, but I'll need time to make the necessary changes.


Okay so, here’s my feedback for Andrea.

I want to preface this by saying that I really like the idea that you’re gunning for- a normal person competing with metahumans and always falling short. It's a neat dynamic that hasn't been explored yet in this setting.

That being said, this is a superpower/supernatural based roleplay. Because your character doesn’t have any abilities, the personality of your character is going to be the most important factor in driving her development and interaction with her character. It’s my job as a GM to make sure you don’t shoot yourself in the foot before you can explore your goal.

Andrea strikes me as a civilian’s idea of what a person in the military is. I’m a military brat, and I personally know a handful of ex-navy snipers because they’re family friends. They all take pride in their work, but none of them took satisfaction in killing people, ‘bad guys’ or not, and a lot of them still feel guilty about it. I can tell you as someone who has spoken to the source on this exact topic several times (Although they were navy, not army, but I digress), I can tell you that no one who can pass the psychological exams necessary to become a sniper would be able to maintain that outlook and not lose sleep over it. Even from a character development standpoint, there’s so much more potential development that can occur if she struggles with those she’s had to pull the trigger on. That’s why so many people who have seen combat suffer later from it. The American Sniper is a great movie to re-watch if you’d like to stick with the sniper thing. Chris Kyle starts off thinking the way your character is written and ends with a very different outlook.

Aside from that, there’s nothing particularly interesting or bad about her. Unfortunately that isn’t a good thing since your character will be relying on their personalities so much more than the other characters. She needs to be more than a two dimensional character to make her work. Again I like the idea of normies trying to catch up to supers and always falling behind, it’s one Kyle and Kayla will likely explore sometime in the future as well, but I don't know what medium you intend to do that with using her character. There are no other snipers in the cast. All but one of the gun users are human (with the one other being Ellara, who is composite peak human). If you want to stick with her having a military background, then by all means, go for it. I will however suggest you consider revising your character's backstory as to mesh more effectively with the rest of the cast so that you can explore the 'falling short' concept that you have set for your goal.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Holy Soldier Just want to give you the heads up that due to the holidays, Junk, Hillan and I won't be able to formally address your sheet until the 27th at the earliest. We appreciate your interest though and will get back to you as soon as we can.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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I hope everyone had a good Christmas, I am back from my miniature holiday and will be catching up on administrative duties and the IC today.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Holy Soldier & @Skittlez, I've conducted my reviews of both of your sheets, just awaiting feedback from my Co-GMs. We'll try not to keep you waiting for the yay/nay any longer than necessary.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Skittlez
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@Lord Wraith thank you for keeping me updated! I know it was a little rough at some parts but like I said more than willing to make adjustments :)
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@Lord WraithWell, I thought I was helping by making a doctor, but an applicant got that idea in before me it seems. So we'll see.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Lord WraithWell, I thought I was helping by making a doctor, but an applicant got that idea in before me it seems. So we'll see.


Your doctor is much more specialized and at the end of the day, the career choice is probably one of the smaller factors we weigh the sheets on. Can't honestly say I even brought attention to both characters being doctors.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by JunkMail
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@Lord WraithWell, I thought I was helping by making a doctor, but an applicant got that idea in before me it seems. So we'll see.


I mean, Tacky posted his sheet over a week ago so that shouldnt come as a surprise. Not that a character’s profession is super important to begin with when it comes to the acceptance process (as Wraith said).
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