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Date: May 25th, 2085
From: Samuel Walton Junior, Supreme Executive President of Wal-International
To: All Registered Empl0yee Citizens
Subject: Our New Expansion Initiative And Other Matters Of Importance

[ERROR]-proud to announce the creation of over 45 new branches including Wal-Power, Wal-Education, Wal-Agriculture and Wal-Fashion along with the acquisition of over 400 new businesses in the last year. We are confident that these mergers will irove - [ERROR]

[ERROR]- better or worse, our model for success has been an inspiration for our competitors worldwide. All registered employee citizens who are found to the IKEA Mega-Centre Zone or Alibaba will be rendered non persona gratas and executed immediately upon sight by Security - [ERROR][ERROR]

- ember to review our su̶̱̻̺͐̐͒͗̇͋́͊̕m̴̫̥̙̹̖͖̠̏͑͆͝ṁ̵͚͎͚̼̰̳̝̯̲̎̌̾͘̕̚͠é̶̟̹͇̯̿̽̔͝ř̶̤̫͑̓̈́͂̓̕̚͝ ̷̢͈̺̜̉̓̀̈c̵̜̔̒͑a̴̢͇̣̝͝ţ̵̦̼̻̺̻͋̈́ḁ̷̠̄̌͐͌ļ̶͔̠͙̜̮̣͕̹̽̀̾̐̈́̂̑͠ó̷̢̻̓̇̑͐͆̄͠g̴̯̝͎̖̘̪̥̿͝ ̴̡̛͈̺̞̭̰͎͙̎̈́̄̀̕f̵̰͕͓̩̀̇͊ͅo̵̧̩̱͇̘͗́̎̾̄̀̔͑ṙ̴̬̝̱̭͓̖̐́́͗̿̚ ̷̡̘͋̈ṱ̸̦̩͊͑͋͊́̌̑̃h̶̨̜͚̭͉̀͛̆ͅe̷̛̠̩̎̃̇͑̓̈́́͠ ̶̠̦͇̪̎͛́b̵̙̐͝e̵̟̲̎͋̎͠s̵̤̦͉̹̳̼͒̓̀̍̄̓̒͠t̸̥̩̋͋̀͌̉ ̵̧̢̨̝̖̬̯̱̩̓̃̽͆̂̕͝͝p̸̙̲͇͋̊̔̈́̿r̴̨̠͓͚̻̩̾̀͋̑̐į̴̫͔̞̯̰̗̗̭̓̒́̋͑́ĉ̶̯̩̟̹̫͛̈́̊̌͗e̴͉̥̗̺͑̆̇́̑͜ͅś̷̹̥͈̳͈̗̮̍̍̈́̕ ̵̺̦̦͇͉̍̕̕ȧ̶͉̖̣̝̦̗͍̀̽̚n̴̼̭̙̖͙̂̒͊͑͐͝d̴͕̟͇̂͝ ̷͉̠̦͕̞͚̹̤̅e̶̡̛̝̭̎̐̆͊́̾̅̚n̵̡̧̞̟̹̤͓̯̎̇̎͠ͅt̸̳̋̓͐͝ě̶̱͖̃̚r̷̬̦̱͙͚̒͗̋́̊́̒͂͠ ̴̬̪̘͈̭͎̮̂̑̈́̍͛̋͝ŏ̷̤̲̺̺͔̠̽̿́͆͑u̷͔͎̯̔͆̀̕ŗ̵̹̜̦̦̯̱̄͐̃̈͒ ̷̝̓e̴̢̟͎̘̼̺̮̼̘͛̄͆͑̐̕͘͠x̴̢̰͍̣͔̮̩̲͈̑́͐̈́͑̄͘͝͝c̷̟͎̱͇̋͌̐͜ͅl̴̛̮͙̻͑͒͋͠ú̴̧̡̜̗͖̙͖̰͓̓̐̎̎͗̀s̴͇̥͆̉͋͊̂̈́̇̒̍i̵̡͍̩̼̺̥̗̥͋̉͗ͅv̵̢̻̮̰͓̗̯̋̊̉͆͘̕ė̶͕͈͉͕̙̣̽̀̆͐̔̾ ̸̪̪̮̲͈͂̊W̶̛̩̩͕͗͑̊̈́̋̚͝͠a̵̛͈͙̣͇̝̪̱̾͌̓̂̄̚ͅl̵̼̗͗̇̌̌̃̊̑̅̉-̸̲͔̱̂̄̊̒̈́P̶͎͎̥̦̘̘̮͍̝̊͑̄͗͋͌͠ȁ̷͎̼͛̌̓͑̇̅̒c̶̢̥̞͎̤̓̒̏̔̉̂͜ĥ̴̬͉͖͆̈́į̴͔̻̟̲̇̎̋̍̚̚n̸̡̩̘͎̩͔͠ķ̸͙̘͔̜̟̜̻͐͂͊̐͊̚ȏ̸̡̨͚̖̽̀̉̕ ̷̻͉̣͇͊̉͂̌͜L̴̦̠̖̜͈̭̞̰͋̏o̴͉͓̞͑̀͆͗͂̈́̕͘͝t̴̨̲̭̰͖̣̔͐̇̑̋̂ͅt̸̡̳̱͎̦̠̭͐̌͋͊͑͊͒̕͝e̷̮͚͑͌͜r̶̼͍̹̦̊̽̂̋̒͛̃̇ÿ̸̯͉́̃͒̃͐ ̶̣͚̙̼͇̥̇̒̆̐̾̾̆̾͝ṭ̷̞̼̗̦͐o̵̼̘͖̰̩̊̌͐͊͌̍ ̷̜̺͇̞̃̏͂̈́̾-̵̡̥̤̣͈̫̤̃
̶̢̤͈͉̘̝͍͋́͒̌̌̊

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The Wal is All.

Long after a world-shattering nuclear cataclysm known as the Fall, the last remaining survivors have taken refuge inside residential mega-marts owned by the now defunct global conglomerate corporate nation, Wal-Incorporated. Trapped within these colossal superstructures from the horrors of the outside world, these survivors fought amongst one another for control of the resources of the mega-marts and against the malfunctioning robotic Associates that once served mankind, now targeting all of humanity as ‘shoplifters’.

Centuries later, humanity has splintered into bands of settlements, the largest and most organised of these settlements being known as ‘Departments’. War and conflict between neighbouring departments wreak the Wal. Religious cults and lunatic gangs prey upon poor aislers, desperate to make a living. Mutants such as giant pigeons, rat-people and giga-roaches now roam the hallways. All the while, the malevolent Management observes from above, plotting and controlling the endless hordes of bots that patrol the mart.

Players will take the role of Lifters. Lifters are mercenaries, saleswords, bounty hunters, treasure hunters, an aisler willing to do any job for the right price or coupon. You’re no veteran Bargain Binner but you’re sure as hell no dollar store Cheapskate. You also may be slightly mad, or not. Surviving this long in the Wal usually comes with the cost of your sanity.

So, where does your story begin?

It has been a month after the last Black Friday and merely a week after the signing of a landmark treaty between the Stationary Shogunate and the Clothing Dynasties. You could care less about the political ramifications this poses to the other departments and more about the job you've been recently hired for. The Library of the Bookshelves have hired you as an escort for a treasure hunting expedition. The pay is good but your contractor almost maddeningly discloses little information about the treasure you are trying to find.

Is it the fabled 32nd flavor of Baskin Robbins Ice Cream? The legendary 100% off coupon? A Pre-Fall Wal-Tech manuscript?

No one on the expedition knows except for the leader himself, Field Archivist Ken-Dal.

It's night. You and the rest of the expedition are camping out in the middle of abandoned Dorf territory, ruined Forts that have been uninhabited for several decades after the Nevergrow invasion. You take this as an opportunity to rest, the fluorescent lights dimming above you and your feet aching after days of non-stop walking.

Little did you know that your expedition would take the turn for the worse.

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Oh boy, here I go GMing again!

So, to put this in as few details as possible, I'm looking for a batch of 4-5 players who are willing to join a narrative based RP primarily focused on player interactivity and heavy amounts of action. Keep in mind first and foremost that this is a satirical RP that is a pastiche of modern consumer capitalism.

Please ask any questions if you do. This is merely a thread to gauge interest. I will make the OOC thread after one week if there is enough interest. If there is significant interest, I will strike while the iron is hot.

Now this is original. I'm curious to see how it developes.

Interested!

You have my interest and sword, most honorable GM.

One more bump before I make the OOC on Monday most likely.

Why the hell not? I'm in.

Imma write a Honey Nut Cheerio Cerai (basically a cardboard knight).

Current idea is Milwaukee, a painted warrior from the Home Improvement Department sent out to explore the aisles beyond their domain. Many-Nails, Khan of Tools and Lumber, seeks new shelves to bring into the empire, new resources to fuel the conquest of the Saw Dust Horde's neighbors, and treasures to rub in the faces of the Plumbing Clan to show them once and for all that Tools and Lumber is best suited to lead the other clans to glory.

I'll probably change it later

We are still looking for more players. If you'd like a free coupon, please join.