^@VladKorkov

Your Cory Kenshin the shit out of the door scaring the fuck out of it, quite literally causing it to become nonsentient once again as it is too weak to face such an otaku like yourself. However it is simply a waiting game now, but what will you the mighty weeb do?

Remember grasshopper; you have the power of God and anime on your side...

^@VeyrinDay

You utter some incantation like "Openus Doorus." to the great annoyance of Doorian as his handle smacks against the stone wall "Fuck ow you goddamn wizards and your goddamn wizardry," the door literally pops off it's hinges and begins to leave "I knew I shoulda listened to pops!'Be revolving door' he said..." he disappears through the entrance and down the hall leaving behind a door less doorway and a business card for the accountant.

REWARD:
Dooromancy: You have gained insight into the use of magic on doors, you receive a +1 to manipulate doors with magic.
^@RainyHigh

As you leave you get the feeling your being followed, but definitely it isn't the door behind you. No, it's me the narrator because I felt like personally being present for what I describe to be the most glorious failure I have ever had the pleasure to narrate.

Yes I'm that voice your hearing as you narrate except it isn't you, but don't worry about it as this is a normal stage in which a character realizes they are a character in a game. Yes welcome to the world of the metagamer, and get comfortable in your bean bag chair cause your in for a bumpy ride where you will most likely lose your poor mind.

Anyways you find some water in a cavernous chamber down the hallway. Cool! You walk into the moist liquid. Neato! You plunge yourself into the water. Mmkay...

Your not drowning...Y-your...Breathing? WTF GUYS IT WAS A 1 A FUCKING 1...Give me a minute.

...

Your breathing water, but you can't seem to get my voice out of your head. Welcome to insanity my friend!

REWARD:
You've Seen Shit: Your mind has been quite damaged, irreversibly damaged as a matter-of-fact. Your self-aware of the fact that reality is simply an illusion and you just gotta accept that. Receive a +1 to rolls with metagame elements.
^{@Gentlemanvaultboy}

There appears to be no deathtraps...That you know of...Muhahahaha!

^@Kenshi

You begin to wonder if your a fucking accountant-sorcerer as your demand for an assistant results in a golemlike figure to appear from nowhere and begin to help pick up the scattered paper.

REWARD:
Golem Intern: Congratulations employee of the month, you've earnt no raise but your endeavors have pleased the Dice Lord and your reward is a golem that does intern stuff.

"No traps! That I kn-kn-kn-kn-kn-know of!" Mr. Wonderfull announced suddenly to the people of the room. At the very least that woman hadn't triggered any when she had left, and just to add credence to his assessment the door also ripped itself from the hinges and trundled down the hallway after her. "Step lively everyone. No need to t-t-t-tarry. Let the ga-games begin!"

Saying such he tromped down the hallway with a series of heavy, echoing footfalls until he came to the cavernous area on the other side just in time to see the woman plunge into the water. Perhaps she had figured something out, or was being devoured by a Loch Ness Monster. No, no, he did not detect any blood rising to the top of the water. What a disappointment.

He walked to the edge in his stiff, overly clockwork way, and saw her under the water there. Interestingly enough she didn't appear to be having any trouble breathing. "Unfortunately, my programming forbids me from rendering direct ass-ass-assistance in times of emergency." Slowly, with a mechanical whirr, his head turned to the door that had walked into the room.

He quickly grabbed the door and attempted to scoop the woman out of the water like you would a goldfish in that wonderful carnival game where you catch goldfish.

Oda nods his head with a grunt and stands upright, staring down the door as it quakes in front of him before watching it gett annoyed by the stick-wielder and waddle away like a boxy penguin. He takes the hand off his blade and looks around the room silently before peering through the gap of where it had sat. After assessing that a step would be fine (Definitely not after witnessing another leave the room and realizing it's probably not that dangerous), he does a quick sumo-shuffle until he has left the prior confinement.

Reaching up under his armor plates, he scratches at the long-awaited itch and lets out a sigh before continuing to cautiously follow the woman in front of him. He realizes upon watching her that he has already felt the pain of loneliness, and imagines a world where women and pillows were one. The softness of the silk, the fluffiness of plump thighs and the increasing pleasure of rubbing yo-

What is this?

"Wench, what are you-?"

The Samurai shifts backwards and again grabs his sword as the woman simply walks into a pool of unknown liquid, aware of how insane she must be to do so before checking it or her surroundings. Being barely able to see was bad enough, but being locked in a hole with strangers and walking head-on into new discoveries was bound to get them all killed.

While she didn't appear to be drowning, she didn't appear to be moving all that much either. Taking it as his duty to help a Damsel in Distress (In his mind, of course. The main character ALWAYS saves the girl), Oda sprints to the side of the pool and drops to a knee, thrusting his arm into the mysterious liquid and grabbing the woman by the back of her collar in an attempt to free her from the water.

She felt like something was following her as she took a few steps. She glanced behind her and thought she saw something--it was nothing.

And then a voice began talking to her.
Oh no. Noooo.

I am so not crazy.
Something about meta-gaming?

Lana found herself several paces down the hallway; she walked and found a cave. She stepped into the chamber and felt the water at her heels. Wanting to "wake" herself from this nightmare, she plunged into the water like liquid, hoping the cold temperature would shock her system and make things finally make sense.

Wah, wah, waaaaaah.

She started to drown. Lana knew how to swim, but for some reason, at this moment, she couldn't. A muscle spasm? As she struggled for air and the impending darkness that was death, something strange happened.

The voice inside her head started to shout.

And she started breathing.

But this substance she was submerged in wasn't exactly like water. Something--the voice--said it was a breathable kind of water.

No. I must be dreaming. Lana argued with the voice speaking in her head.

She sucked in the so-called water and inhaled it, but somehow her lungs--while pained--breathed just fine. The darkness edged away as she kept breathing and attempted to swim to the surface. Her arms struggled, but it might have been the bulky black dress she was wearing with all the layers of chiffon floating around her and getting in the way. She then saw a rather large rectangular object submerged in the watery substance.

Was that the damn door, Doorian?

She then saw what looked like a hand reaching out for her as well. Except it was reaching for the back of her neck!

Lana considered swatting the hand away as she stopped moving, trying to figure out if she should even bother with anything anymore.

But she couldn't drown anymore.

Maybe I could steal that katana?

*Disclaimer: If you are experiencing thoughts of...* and the rest of the advertisement played in Lana's head.

Cate intended to cast a summoning spell to invoke a sacrifice for the door-shaped creature, but she instead cast an unlocking spell. Nevertheless, the door jumped from its hinge and Cate had further insight that normal doors and Portarians had similar effect when being cast by the unlocking spell.

Cate then saw Lana fell into water, she was miraculously able to breath. Cate put her wand out and made a tap on her own hip. As she jumped into the water, Cate's counter-buoyancy spell worked. Cate was able to control her movement in the water without having to worry about the water pressure.

"Don't worry, I'll help you," Cate floated to reach Lana. With her own wand, Cate jabbed Lana's hip, right on her tailbone, trying to cast the counter-buoyancy for Lana to be able to float freely just like Cate herself.

Stan stood there with Lucy, his Golem Intern, watching these weird people.
Not a single one of them asked for his help or even acknowledge he was standing there, but hey, he's used to being overlooked.
"Come on Lucy, let's see what lies beyond those morons." Stan said as the two began their own adventure.

"No traps! That I kn-kn-kn-kn-kn-know of!" Mr. Wonderfull announced suddenly to the people of the room. At the very least that woman hadn't triggered any when she had left, and just to add credence to his assessment the door also ripped itself from the hinges and trundled down the hallway after her. "Step lively everyone. No need to t-t-t-tarry. Let the ga-games begin!"

Saying such he tromped down the hallway with a series of heavy, echoing footfalls until he came to the cavernous area on the other side just in time to see the woman plunge into the water. Perhaps she had figured something out, or was being devoured by a Loch Ness Monster. No, no, he did not detect any blood rising to the top of the water. What a disappointment.

He walked to the edge in his stiff, overly clockwork way, and saw her under the water there. Interestingly enough she didn't appear to be having any trouble breathing. "Unfortunately, my programming forbids me from rendering direct ass-ass-assistance in times of emergency." Slowly, with a mechanical whirr, his head turned to the door that had walked into the room.

He quickly grabbed the door and attempted to scoop the woman out of the water like you would a goldfish in that wonderful carnival game where you catch goldfish.

As you go to grab the door something rather strange happens. "Oh you think you can just use any animate object to do stuff with as you please? I'll show you, you asshole!" your lifted by the door and swiftly plunged into the water, which isn't exactly the greatest thing for an animatronic.

REWARD:
Water-logged: Your circuits and shit are now severely water damaged, your speech is even more incomprehensible. This is a roleplaying impediment, have fun with it.

Oda nods his head with a grunt and stands upright, staring down the door as it quakes in front of him before watching it gett annoyed by the stick-wielder and waddle away like a boxy penguin. He takes the hand off his blade and looks around the room silently before peering through the gap of where it had sat. After assessing that a step would be fine (Definitely not after witnessing another leave the room and realizing it's probably not that dangerous), he does a quick sumo-shuffle until he has left the prior confinement.

Reaching up under his armor plates, he scratches at the long-awaited itch and lets out a sigh before continuing to cautiously follow the woman in front of him. He realizes upon watching her that he has already felt the pain of loneliness, and imagines a world where women and pillows were one. The softness of the silk, the fluffiness of plump thighs and the increasing pleasure of rubbing yo-

What is this?

"Wench, what are you-?"

The Samurai shifts backwards and again grabs his sword as the woman simply walks into a pool of unknown liquid, aware of how insane she must be to do so before checking it or her surroundings. Being barely able to see was bad enough, but being locked in a hole with strangers and walking head-on into new discoveries was bound to get them all killed.

While she didn't appear to be drowning, she didn't appear to be moving all that much either. Taking it as his duty to help a Damsel in Distress (In his mind, of course. The main character ALWAYS saves the girl), Oda sprints to the side of the pool and drops to a knee, thrusting his arm into the mysterious liquid and grabbing the woman by the back of her collar in an attempt to free her from the water.

Oni-chan!!! You have done your job well and successfully pulled the woman from the liquid. TA-DAH!

She felt like something was following her as she took a few steps. She glanced behind her and thought she saw something--it was nothing.

And then a voice began talking to her.
Oh no. Noooo.

I am so not crazy.
Something about meta-gaming?

Lana found herself several paces down the hallway; she walked and found a cave. She stepped into the chamber and felt the water at her heels. Wanting to "wake" herself from this nightmare, she plunged into the water like liquid, hoping the cold temperature would shock her system and make things finally make sense.

Wah, wah, waaaaaah.

She started to drown. Lana knew how to swim, but for some reason, at this moment, she couldn't. A muscle spasm? As she struggled for air and the impending darkness that was death, something strange happened.

The voice inside her head started to shout.

And she started breathing.

But this substance she was submerged in wasn't exactly like water. Something--the voice--said it was a breathable kind of water.

No. I must be dreaming. Lana argued with the voice speaking in her head.

She sucked in the so-called water and inhaled it, but somehow her lungs--while pained--breathed just fine. The darkness edged away as she kept breathing and attempted to swim to the surface. Her arms struggled, but it might have been the bulky black dress she was wearing with all the layers of chiffon floating around her and getting in the way. She then saw a rather large rectangular object submerged in the watery substance.

Was that the damn door, Doorian?

She then saw what looked like a hand reaching out for her as well. Except it was reaching for the back of her neck!

Lana considered swatting the hand away as she stopped moving, trying to figure out if she should even bother with anything anymore.

But she couldn't drown anymore.

Maybe I could steal that katana?

*Disclaimer: If you are experiencing thoughts of...* and the rest of the advertisement played in Lana's head.

I rolled a dice for no apparent reason, let me just say you imagined stealing that katana just right! Good job slav-uh I mean player.

Cate intended to cast a summoning spell to invoke a sacrifice for the door-shaped creature, but she instead cast an unlocking spell. Nevertheless, the door jumped from its hinge and Cate had further insight that normal doors and Portarians had similar effect when being cast by the unlocking spell.

Cate then saw Lana fell into water, she was miraculously able to breath. Cate put her wand out and made a tap on her own hip. As she jumped into the water, Cate's counter-buoyancy spell worked. Cate was able to control her movement in the water without having to worry about the water pressure.

"Don't worry, I'll help you," Cate floated to reach Lana. With her own wand, Cate jabbed Lana's hip, right on her tailbone, trying to cast the counter-buoyancy for Lana to be able to float freely just like Cate herself.

Everything was going just great until you cast your spell on poor, poor Lana. You tried to be helpful but you made her way too buoyant and she floats upwards until she is on the ceiling above the water.

Stan stood there with Lucy, his Golem Intern, watching these weird people.
Not a single one of them asked for his help or even acknowledge he was standing there, but hey, he's used to being overlooked.
"Come on Lucy, let's see what lies beyond those morons." Stan said as the two began their own adventure.

As soon as you step out of the room, you don't find adventure and unsurprisingly you end up in the same room as all these moronic misfits stumbling over each other to help a woman who now is stuck on the cavern roof.

"WHO- D-DOORIAN?! DOORIAN! You won't escape me this time!"
The bird sails through a wall, effectively phasing through it, at an incredibly high speed, aimed straight for Doorian like a torpedo.
"Is that you, DOORIAN?! Don't you dare forget that day where you decided to slam in my face! I'll never forgive you for that!"
The flaming bird attempts to dive and strike the door.

"Oops"

Cate attempted to undo the spell she cast on Lana

"Dang doodle nabbit gee wiz!" Exclaimed Stan as he stomped his feet.
"Hmmmm, I've an idea, Lucy smash a new doorway into that wall." Stan said pointing at the west wall.

Mr. Wonderfull lay on his back in the water, staring up as he felt the water rush in and ensodden his already faulty wiring. He wondered vaguely if any of his fellow layers would end up electrocuted were they to enter the water now? Well, that was a surprise best left for them to discover.

He sat up and observed his surroundings so long as he was down here. Perhaps there was some trick or secrets to this watery hole that the woman had been to busy being rescued to discover.

I search the watering hole for traps or treasure.

After pulling the woman out of the water, Oda simply drops her onto the ground and swiftly chops her in the chest, just in case she was a bit waterlogged like the robotic man now was.

"I believe this is where you would say 'Thank you', m'lady" he says in a calm voice, tipping his helmet in her direction with two fingers. "The Great Nobunaga would never make such a decision, as the ways of the Blade have taught me better than that. One must remain careful in new lands..."

He then turns to the metal creature in the water and observes it as it doggy-paddles around in the liquid and shakes his head, disdain creeping out from behind the mask. It seemed harmless for now, but he would have to keep an eye on it. At this moment, figuring out where they were and what was going on was far more important than worrying about alliances and trickery.

Two others had crept past him and were now making their way towards a wall at the other end of the room, so Oda walks the other way and removes his helmet after reaching a safe distance from the others, allowing himself to see and hear better, freeing his long hair from it's prison along with the senses.

Not wasting any time, he tries to take in everything about the room and see what he can find, making sure to maintain a distance from everyone and everything else as there is now a vulnerable spot in his otherwise armored form.

The man with the katana yanked up Lana. He then chopped her in the chest to expel any water from her lungs (she hadn't any issue on this part). So instead, she lurched over at the swift pain inflected and then felt a sharp prod from the woman with a wand.

As if struck with magic, she felt lighter than a feather and floated up to the roof of the cave.

She looked down at the water at a loss for words and saw the robot-like human or rather a human-like robot stuck in the water.

"Looks like we switched places kinda," Lana said as she looked at the people and non-people below her.

Her mind was quickly growing numb as the metaphysical reality that magic existed came crashing down on her.

Reflecting on her not-drowning, getting chopped in the chest, and now being stuck to float on the ceiling of a cave. Lana began to ponder the question ...

Why the fuck was she here?

The account ordered their new servant, a golem-looking thing, to make a new door, as a creature akin to a friggin' Phoenix attacked Doorian.

She then attempted to 'swim' through the air to try to get back down to the ground as Cate, the witchy lady, cast a spell to bring her down.

^{@LSJ Rose}

Your mortal nemesis turns slowly still holding the automaton under the water as it flails it fucking arms like a bloody inflatable arm-waving inflatable man, Doorian stoic as ever materializes a Dio™ face "Oh your approaching me?" but is interrupted by the FLYING FUCKING JESUS CHRIST ITS A FUCKING PHOENIX GET THE CAMERA BILLY-meanwhile Doorian falls backwards and into the water. Death by electrocution.

REWARD
Personally I Prefer The AIR: As Falco says, you prefer that sexy air that you fly on. +1 on dice rolls for aerial combat -1 on dice rolls for any fighting not in the air.

^@Kenshi

Lucy follows your direction and goes to smash an exit for you, and Lucy does but it only leads to the RNG Department of this dungeon which is probably great in your case but not so much for everyone else, especially Lucy cause she/he/it/rock/thing/object with legs has been severely damaged. Lucy was just an intern you monster!

Jim wakes up in the room, and looks around dazed.

He attempts to walk out the doorway.

^@VeyrinDay

Poor, poor Lana. You successfully get her down from the ceiling, except now she has fallen back into the water full of electricity and death. For some reason you hear the faint sound of phones ringing and the kind of chatter one hears in an office place.