Dean let the words “I love you” repeat in his brain as the hot water washed over his face. He hadn’t heard the words in a serious capacity since his mother was alive. He scrubbed at his face, the black grease running down his body to the drain as he thought about what normal would look like for someone like himself.

Settling down never felt like something he wanted to do. Then there were the trust issues, trust issues he would probably have for the rest of his life with her, to some degree. But the idea of having her all to himself, especially now, sounded damn good.

After scrubbing as much of the oil from his stained hands and arms as he could, Dean turned the water off and carefully stepped out of the shower. With a towel on the top of his head, he didn’t see Mika at all as he stood by the shower, humming to himself.

Mika had to do a bit of scrubbing to get the grease off but she managed it eventually. She looked in the mirror that was next to the cabinet and decided she would take some time to truly stare at her alter ego whilst she still could. It was a big moment for her and just like last time she bleached her hair and kept adding toner until it went white, it was a moment that she had to take a moment for herself to acknowledge what she was doing. For anyone else changing their hair would be just that, they fancied a change and just dye it without a second thought. For her it was always done when she was moving forward in her life, when she felt was growing as a person, changing...smirking slightly to herself as she shook the thought from her mind for a moment. 'wow Mika, could you seriously sound anymore cliche movie character development right now?' she thought to herself before she found herself dropping her smirk once more.

Lookin at the reflection staring back at her she felt like if it was possible it would backchat her, try and talk her out of getting rid of Kenzi in her life. Try and convince her that being Kenzi is the right direction to do in her life, but it wasn't. It was far from the right thing. If she was truly honest eith herself she couldn't wait to see the back of Kenzi and everything she stood for. Even if she did keep her safe all this time.

When she heard Dean finish in the shower, she exhaled the deep breath she didn't even realise she was holding, turned round and smiled at the sight in front of her. "we'll hi there sailor" she teased with a smirk. "someone looks cleaner finally" she added, keeping her tone light and fun.

Pulling the towel from his head as Mika called out to him, he smiled sheepishly and covered himself up slowly while giving a little dance. He hadn’t noticed she was even in the bathroom, but he couldn’t help showing out while she was in front of him.

Smiling widely, he tucked the towel around his waist and shrugged, “Is one, Dean Winchester, ever really clean?”

He asked the question in a pseudo narrator voice. He stepped up to her and reached up to twirl a piece of her current hair around his finger, before running a cling finger against her cheek, “You know that even though I’m proud of you for wanting to do this, if you changed your mind…I wouldn’t think any less or want you around any less.”

As Dean did what he did to show off and be an utter goofball after realising she was even there she couldn't help but shake her head and snigger. "Well your mind usually isn't thats for sure" she smirked back at him, letting him walk over to her. SHe let him twirl a piece of her hair round his finger, just figuring he was thinking along the same lines as her, wanting to really acknowledge that the white hair was about to go.

As his hand went to her cheek, she couldn't stop herself leaning her head slightly into his touch as he spoke, "I appreciate that but I have to do it" she told him, lifting one hand up and wrapping it over his own hand. "I've been Kenzi for far too long and if I don't let go of her now, I never will and she'll have a hold over me always" she told him back before letting go of his hand and grabbing the boxes. It was now or never in her eyes and once she had made up her mind on something, she didn't down from it. In that regard she was glad of her stubbornness.

Opening both boxes, she focused on the black dye first, taking out each componement and mixing them in the supplied bowl. Once it was mixed, she sectioned off parts she wanted to be pink, looking around for something to keep them out the way. "You wanna help a gal out>" she asked with a smile.

Dean sniggered with her when she joked, “I have a clean and innocent mind…”

He stepped up behind her and watched every step she made as she mixed hair dye. He had no idea about these things, but he had never really been with women long enough to learn about them. As he watched her intently, zoning out, he jumped a bit when she asked him to help her out.

“Yeah! Anything!” He quickly said before realizing she was asking for something to put her hair up with. He dug through a couple of drawers, rummaging and feeling almost like was intruding, before coming up with a hand full of hair ties and a few things that looked like clips, “These? Do you need help putting it up?”

He had a soft and proud smile on his face from finding the items, and laughed a bit over how innocent this moment seemed.

Mika wanted to burst out laughing when he said he had a clean and innocent mind, as she knew just as well as he did that he most certainly did not have a clean and innocent mind. She didn't mind that he stepped up behind her and watched as she did the mixing, infact she liked that he really was proving how much he wanted to be a part of this whole process, it meant a lot to her, more than she would probably ever let on or could let on.

At his reaction to her asking for help she couldn't stop the small warm chuckle from escpaing her lips as it was clear he had somehow zoned a little bit. She let him rummage before he managed to find some useful items. "yeah those will do and yes please. Then if you don't mind, hold the sectioned strands out the way when I start applying the black dye?" she replied to him as the last thing she wanted was for the parts she wanted pink to be dyed black which would completely and utterly ruin her plans.

She gestured for him to put the bits down in the sink that she had since put the plug in to stop anything from going down the sink hole, whilst also making it become a bit of a table for all the items and the bowl of dye.

Dean stepped back into place behind her putting the items he had found into the sink, keeping a couple around his wrist with clips attached. It was like a toolbox. He nodded at her instructions, taking the piece of hair she had in her hand from her and tying it up with one of the hair ties. This seemed like something that was going to be overly complicated, but that he knew meant a lot to her.

If he was honest, it meant more to him than she could know. Having some similarity to a starting over point or a do over was something that his paranoid mind could get behind. She was officially allowing him inside her mind, to a degree. He still didn’t have all the answers he wanted. He still had questions, and a few things he needed to get off his chest.

But dammit this break from all the sadness, fighting, and toxicity was something he was having trouble letting go of.

“I’m almost domesticated, around you, now. It’s disgusting…”, he joked, making a silly gagging face, and then continued on with a fake grimace as he picked at another piece of hair, “Got me over her doing hair…”

If she was honest, it was probably a lot more complicated to do at home than she would think, but she was determined to do it herself and not spend what money she did have by going to a salon. It was petty and stubborn of her but she was determined she had the intelligence to figure it out for herself and damn it, she was going to see it through. She handed him to the pices of hair that she wanted pink so he could section them off, smirking at his comment about feeling almost domesticated. "I don't think anything could truly domesticate you Dean Winchester" she said back smiling, trying to not chuckle too much at his grimmace that he was adamant on putting on.

"But the fact you are helping do my hair means the world to me" she added to him, continuing to pass him the pieces of hair until all sectioned off pieces were done. she then grabbed the brush that was in the dye pot and looked in the mirror again, "Well...here goes nothing, bye Kenzi....it's time for you to bugger off once and for all" she spoke to her reflection knowing how going from white to black will be a massive shock to the system, but one that she and in ways, Dean, needed. She then placed the brush on her hair and started satuating the hair in the black dye, trying to to not get the black dye on the sections off areas.

There was something incredibly cathartic about the whole process and hell, she'd go as far as admitting it was highly emotional for her. As much as Kenzi brought so much heartache to the both of them, brought pain and trauma to the both of them, she was in her life for a very long time and kept her alive. Made her the capable hunter she was today. As she continued to apply the dye, a couple of tears escaped her eyes, but not out of regret, instead they were from relief.

Dean mocked her with his face in the mirror, before laughing at her words and his faces, “I would say I’m slightly domesticated…like a feral neighborhood cat.”

As she mentioned how much his help meant to her, he felt the need to kiss her cheek or neck, but with the brush coming toward her hair, he decided against it. Instead, he simply placed a hand on her hip and pressed up against her back with a smile, “I wouldn’t miss this. After this, we can work on moving forward. No more lies. No more acting. Just me, and you taking on whatever it is that we are forced to.”

As he spoke, he noticed the tears in her eyes, watching her move from one piece of hair to another. He kept close to her back, watching her in the mirror carefully, trying to be as there for her as possible, without getting in the way.

The idea of Dean being like a feral domesticated neighbourhood cat was highly amusing to Mika. It was also a mental image she didnt know she could easily picture, but it seemed her mind could easily picture such a thing and was creatively picturing Dean's head on a cat body which she had to really fight not to burst out laughing and make everything go everywhere.

Hearing him tell her that there would be no way he would miss this moment just solidified exactly why she knew she could trust him and why he meant so much to her. She smiled softly as he stayed close to her and had his hands on her hip. "Right, and after this, whatever you wanna talk about we can" she told him back. The fact he remained exactly where he was through the whole process just made it all the more emotional for her. SHe could tell he noticed the tears that were welling up in her eyes as she was moving on with her life.

It took her a good half hour to fully cover her head in the black and she toyed with the idea with grabbing soem foil and doing the pink at the same time, instead of her original plan to wait until she washed out the black dye, but then she got worried the black would run into the pink if she did so, so she decided to do it in two sessions like originally planned. With the first lot on, she put on a timer on her phone so she knew when to wash it out. "Okay...half hour until I can wash this out then onto the pink" she commented as she then loosely used some clips to pink her hair up into two low buns so they were out of the way and wouldn't risk getting dye anywhere.

----------

After the first half hour she did indeed get up and wash out the black, somehow managing to not to get dye on the white strands she kept sectioned off. She had to admit the black and white look did look really cool and she was half tempted to keep it like that but then shook the idea from her head, wanting to keep the hot pink idea. Luckily for her, the pink dye could be applied on wet hair which she felt glad for so she went through the process yet again and applied the hot pink dye which luckily was premade, so it was a case of just squeezing it out into a bowl to make it easier and with her hands in gloves, she just scooped it out the bowl and heavily coated the white strands in the pink dye then left that for another half hour to take before it washing it out again. She even trimmed her hair to a much more managable length. By the time she was done, she looked in the mirror and saw what a drastic difference it made to her. It also made her look....older in some ways.

She walked back into the bedroom to go dry her hair and looked at Dean, "Well?" she asked, curious to what he truly thought about the change.

Dean continued to watch her as she applied the dye to her hair, his hands coming forward now and again to try and help her if she was having issues with a spot. When she was done, he ran out into the room and sat on the bed, thinking about everything. He had a bit of time to think, since she had to wait to remove the dye.

When all was said and done, he was still staring into space, thinking over everything that had happened in the past few days. Hell, he was going all the way back to a few years back. His decisions. His obsessions. Leaving his dad. Letting a girl die…

He covered his face with his hands for a few seconds, seeing the face of the blonde girl from a couple years back flashing in front of his face, a nightmare he had gotten over…until he thought back on it. It was the last serious moment that he and Mika had been in, as Kenzi, where they actually spoke about things.

Other than that night, it had been mostly sex.

As she walked back into the room, he quickly blinked a tear away that he almost hadn’t noticed was there from his self deprecating thoughts. He smiled widely, his face showing his relief and excitement at her new hair.

“I think it looks fantastic.”, he stood from the bed, bowing slightly and taking her hand, “Hello, ma’am. My name is Dean Winchester, and who’s hand do I have the honor of kissing tonight?”

He joked a bit, also being honest about how she seemed like a different person as he kissed each of her knuckles gently.

She barely noticed him blinking away the tear that threatened to fall from his face, but did get the feeling he was thinking over something whilst she was washing out the pink dye. Seeing him smile widely at the transformation, it was clear to her that not only did it feel a breath of fresh air to her when she took a good hard look at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, it was also clearly a breath of fresh air to him as well.

She chuckled at his reaction after he got off the bed, letting him just do whatever it was he wanted, as it wasn't unusual for him to be like this. She still remembered her birthday when they went out on that date and he did similar silly things to make her birthday special and humourous, something she would never forget and she didn't forget it. It was one of her fondness memories and one she always refused to forget despite how the next day went, tarnishing that whole week in some ways. "Why good sir, it's a pleasure to meet you Dean Winchester, I'm Mika Chambers" she said back, putting on a slightly posh accent for the giggles but it felt so good and refreshing for her to finally say her name....her real name.

Oh how she had thought this day would never come when she could happily say her real name and not pretend she was someone else. Someone toxic and complicated. The longer she was her true self, the more she saw how toxic she was when she was pretending to be this Kenzi girl. Her hair may now be mostly black but she still felt like her old self had come back to them.

Dean kissed her knuckles one more time, peering up at her as he bowed. Hearing her real name come from her lips, his breath hitched in his throat quietly and his smile showed all his teeth, still holding her hand in his. He pulled her close as he stood up straight, throwing her hand over his right shoulder and pulling her close.

“A beautiful name for such a beautiful woman. Stunning really…”, he tried his best to feign a British accent, before kissing her lips sweetly with a smile.

He pulled back from the kiss, suddenly forgetting that he had questions. He had them, but they were pushed to the back burner, behind staring at her, and realizing that everything he had lost was back in front of him. He didn’t even let the intrusive thought of ‘things that come back always sour’ break his smile as he pressed his forehead against hers and stared at her eyes.

“If Sam ever finds out I’ve been romantic, I’ll have to kill him.”, he laughed, brushing a strand of her new hair to the side with a finger, “And I guess I’d have to take care of you too, if you were to tell him…”

Mika smiled as he kissed her knuckles once more before seeing his breath hitch at the sound of her real name leave her lips. Seeing him smile in such a manner warmed her heart, making it feel like it didn't have to have that icy cold wall around it to protect it anymore which was equally of great relief. She let out a small yelp and chuckle as he flung her arm over his shoulder and pulled her in tightly to hug her. A hug that she had been dying for for so long, as she gripped onto him taking in the moment as if it was the first and last time she would ever be like this with him.

She smiled lovingly as he told her what a name it was for such a woman, even if it was in an awful british accent, she didn't care. It was perfectly him even if he would always deny it to anyone else. She kissed him back gladly and just as sweetly as he did to her before pulling away with him, slowly opening her eyes as she let the feel of his lips on hers linger. With his forehead now on hers, she looked at him still not wanting to break from his gaze, listenign to him say about Sam finding out. She chuckled as well, knowing that his brother couldn't ever let him live it down if he found out. With him sweeping a strand of her wet hair behind her hair she smiled more. "Oh and we can't have that reputation be broken now can we?" she said to him with a teasing edge and smirk.

Dean put on a fake scowl, trying to be as threatening as possible as he clung to her and pressed her nose with his, “Never.”

He let the scowl fall and swept her off her feet a bit, twirling her to the other side of the room, before dropping her with a small kiss on the lips, “But in all seriousness, this is nice. And I don’t even know what I want to do with my day now…with you looking like this.”

He realized how sexual the comment was, and rolled his eyes before nodding his head to the side to say ‘ya know’. And then his smile turned into a devious smirk.

“Bobby hasn’t found a hunt. We haven’t found anything to do. So, what would miss Mika Chambers like to do for the evening, now that our chores are done?”

At his scowl and simple reply of 'never' when it came to ruining his reputation, Mika couldn't help but just smirk and snigger, as she then saw his scowl drop and he took her off guard when he practically twirled her to the other side of the bed and ended it with kissing her. She kissed him back gladly, never tiring of being able to as herself. SHe smiled and half chuckled at his remark, knowing exactly how it sounded coming out of his mouth and judging by his reaction to his own words, he realised it as well.

As he continued talking to her and explaining that Bobby still didn't have a case for them which in her mind was unusual and she couldn't help but wonder if he was deliberately telling them there was no case and putting someone else who wasn't nearly as capable as they were to give them both a break to just rekindle with each other or not. She honestly wouldn't put it passed Bobby to do such a thing considering how many years he tried to keep the brothers from hunting or anything hunting related to try and give them a normal childhood in some form, just as he did try with her, but didn't succeed nearly as well.

"You got a point there and I don't believe there's no cases, I reckon he's purposely making us take a night off to be together" she replied to him, sliding her arms up his torso and over his shoulders, interlocking her fingers together behind his neck loosely. "Soooo...I say if that's the game he wants to play, we make the most of said night off and...rekindle" she smirked just deviously.

Dean jerked his head back in an almost confused and surprised way, when she wrapped her arms around him again. He wrapped his arms around her torso and looked up at the ceiling, “Um. Well…Rekindling can mean a million things, you know. I mean…there’s exploration. There’s therapy stuff. There’s sex. We all know that one…”

As he spoke, he kept his eyes on the ceiling, while smiling. At the word sex, he waggled his eyebrows and placed his tongue between his teeth while looking down at her.

“Whatever…”, he pecked her on the lips, “Shall…”, another peck, “We do?”

With the last tiny kiss, he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer. In his mind, flashes of the times he and ‘Kenzi’ had gone down this road decided to sweep through, and while they were good-ish times, he missed the more gentle nature of himself with Mika. Everything was always so gentle, and patient.

Thinking about it, he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist with a giggle and ran with her over to the bed, with a thud, knowing that Bobby probably heard the noise below them. He cradled her face as he crouched over her on the bed and laughed, “That was loud…”

The fact that she could still surprise and confuse him was something that Mika didn't think she'd ever achieve but it seemed she was wrong. She kept looking at him intently as he looked up at her plain white ceiling as he began replying with just some of the examples of rekindling they could do. All valid points especially in their current situation of getting passed the fact she wasn't actually dead or Kenzi, but she knew exactly what kind of rekindling she was thinking of, she was just waiting for him to catch up, which she knew he would do soon enough.

She chuckled warmly at his eyebrow wiggle when he said the word 'sex' whilst glancing his eyes down at her before he looked down properly and began kissing her in between every next word he said, to which she returned each kiss as she always did before deepening the last kiss with him, glad to be this close to him again. Though she matched his kiss, she certainly kept it much more gentle than she ever would when she was Kenzi. Just like with nearly everything else, she put effort into making her intimate moments with Dean as different as she could so he couldn't kiss her and just think 'this is just like Mika'. Now she didn't need to and it was of great relief.

As he picked her up, she chuckled against his lips as he did also, more than willing to wrap her legs round his waist, keeping ahold of him as he ran to her bed and dropped her down with an almight thud making her laugh but quickly cover her mouth and continue to chuckle a bit quieter, letting go of her mouth and letting him cup her face in his hands. "Just a bit" she chuckled, wrapping ehrself round him again and pulling him down to her level.........

Bobby did indeed hear the thud and out of instinct looked up toward the ceiling from where he was downstairs and grumbled under his breath, "bloody idjits...."

Dean smirked as he stared down at Mika after some time, silently hoping Bobby was out of the house as he laughed internally. He smiled brighter, and pushed her hair away from her face as he leaned on his elbows above her. He kissed her sweetly, nuzzling her nose with his, just taking in everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours. It was surreal. Good things didn’t happen to him, often, without a catch. But this. This seemed right.

The only question was, at what point would his Dad manage to ruin all of it. He shook the thought a bit and running his thumb gently along the side of her face, “Don’t tell anyone…but…”

He kissed her sweetly again, pulling at her lip with his teeth and a smile, “I think I love you…”

Like Dean, Mika couldn't get passed how well things had gone since she got back from the spirit hunt of hers last night. It seemed like a dream even to her that one moment she was trudging up her stairs unbelievably tired and worn out, wanting nothing more than to jump into a bath to get clean and then sleep the night away to suddenly finding Dean on her bed calling out ehr true name to now. Sharing the moment of getting rid of her alter ego to being on her bed underneath Dean and feeling the happiest than she had felt in a very long time. She knew it may not last but whilst it did last, sh ewas going to accept every single moment she could.

She didn't even want to think about John returning and finding out where and why Dean had got to. She dreaded that day when John would turn up and either not instantly recognise her, or just see her as Kenzi and not even believe them both when they explain who she truly is. SHe could easily imagine what kind of argument or fight would ensue on that day, but right now she had to shake those thoughts from her mind and only focus on her moment with Dean in this very minute.

When he told her not to tell anyone, she looked at him curiously but willingly kissed her back, letting him nibble at her lip before he told her the words she never thought she would hear him actually say outright. She always just assumed that he'd tell her how he felt in all manner of vague ways or the usual 'i know' reply when she told him she loved him. So when he told her outright thathe loved her, she smiled warmly and widely where it also showed in her eyes. "I didn't think I'd ever hear you say those words...I love you too Dean" she replied to him.